YOu know, I am always trying to come up with clever excuses for why the update took so long. It was either:
A) I was abducted by aliens.
B) I was abducted by aliens and immpregnanted and was busy giving birth to their alien spawn, (I'm registered with Pottery Barn kids and Victoria Secret)
C) I've been having an abusive affair with Dewey Decimal.
XXXXXXXXXX
Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way
Back where I belong
XXXX
Addison walked slowly from room to room in her new house, her arms hugging her chest. It had been worth shelling out the extra money, the house was actually ahead of schedule. The master suite just needed paint and hardware, the upstairs guest bedroom only reacquired a coat of paint, and the kitchen in theory would be done at the end of the week. The outside, all the landscaping and the stone work was done.
A small smile crossed her face.
She couldn't believe how excited she was. Everything looked exactly how she wanted it to and everything was perfectly her. Classy, feminine, warm and cozy. In 4 weeks she had essentially created her dream house.
Her smile grew as she continued to look around her.
It had been hard. adjusting to the idea that it would be just her. That she didn't have to ask anyone else's opinion on what kind of tile she should use in the bathroom or whether the hardwood should be light or dark. It was all her. The colour she had chosen for her bedroom would have driven Derek crazy, it did lean in the direction of pink. If Addison were to be perfectly honest with herself, she partially choose it because he would hate it.
This room was hers.
Just hers.
XXXX
"Meredith," Derek cleared his throat.
Meredith looked up her arms crossed against her chest, and glared.
"Would you like to handle Mr. Friedman's..."
"Robert," the patient interrupted
Derek smiled, "Would you handle all Robert's tests and book me an OR."
"I am off in an hour."
"Could you get things started then?" Derek asked starting to loose patience with her.
"Sure, Dr. Shepherd."
"Oh, that was hostile," remarked a young woman sitting at the bedside.
Another young woman at the bedside laughed, "No bad vibes near the baby," she joked, making motions as if to clear the hostility from around her stomach, "Lucky 13, we don't need to be taking chances."
"Ladies," Robert warned gently.
"These are..." Derek look at the women in confusion.
"Sarah and Rachel, my wives."
Meredith's eyebrow shot up. "You have 2 wives?"
Robert smiled as Sarah and Rachel exchanged amused glances, "Actually I have 4."
"Well," Meredith glanced at Robert then shot Derek a look, "How karmically appropriate.". She looked at Rachel who was rubbing her stomach with amusement, "If my bad vibes get the better of you, his wife, is the best OB around."
Derek sighed as Meredith angrily left the room.
The Friedmans stared at him.
"How do you do it?" Derek finally asked earnestly, "You have 4 wives, I have only have the one and truth be told, she won't even talk to me, she basically wants nothing to do with me. And then there is Meredith who I had a great relationship with, until now. She won't even look at me." Derek forced a smile, "How do you keep all these women happy?"
Mr. Robert stared at him for a moment, "There is your wife, and Meredith is your... girlfriend?"
"Ex-girlfriend."
Robert raised an eyebrow, "Ex-girlfriend," he corrected himself, "That is your problem. One is your wife and one is not. My wives are all my wives, they are all equal in that way. More importantly they know they are equals." He smiled at Sarah who was flipping through a magazine at his bed side, and then to Rachel who's hands still affectionately caressed her stomach "Sarah knows that I love her no more and no less then Rachel."
"Or Naomi or Ruth," Sarah teased, glancing up briefly.
"I love them all differently, and for different reasons. But at the same time, I love them all the same."
Derek nodded.
"You can't say the same."
"No," Derek paused, "I can't."
Sarah sighed with amusement, "Men."
"Sarah," Robert chastised, but not concealing his own amusement.
"All men think they are polygamists at heart," she mused, she smiled at Derek, "You certainly are not. And apparently neither are your wife and girlfriend."
Derek stared at her for a moment, before straightening his back and searching his pager for nonexistent pages, "I'll be back when your test results are in."
Robert looked at Sarah and Rachel as Derek left the room, "Those women are going to eat him alive."
Sarah laughed, "More or less."
XXXX
Izzie leaned against the nurses station and sighed. She was bored, really bored.
"Didn't you quit?" Cristina stated bluntly, coming up behind her.
"Yes," Izzie sighed again, "I came to see my roommates. I haven't seen them in days."
"So you came to the hospital?"
"I am that bored Cristina. Modeling leaves you with allot of downtime."
"Sucks for you. I just thought you would be avoiding this place at all costs. You more or less killed your boyfriend, then quit in the most dramatic ways possible. I mean, you were wearing a ball gown."
Izzie just shrugged, not even registering the harsh bluntness of Cristinas words, "I've been coming in to see Burke. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. And did I mention I was really bored, and haven't seen my roommates in years?
"Well you won't have much luck tonight, Meredith is getting dressed for a date right now, and George already left with Callie."
"Seriously?" Izzie groaned, "But I am bored."
Cristina smirked, "Well luckily for you, you are just in time for my new favorite soap opera, The Lonely Shepherd."
Izzie glanced at her.
"The names a work in progress. Just watch." She nodded to Derek who was cautiously approaching Addison at the far end of the desk, out of earshot to Cristina and Izzie.
"You like it.'
Addison looked up at Derek and sighed, "Have you signed the papers?"
Derek ignored the question, "So I was out for a walk last night, and I noticed that that house across the river had been sold."
"Wonderful," Addison said not so enthusiastically. She knew where this was going.
"So I made a mental note to mention it to you, cause I know that you liked that house. It's really amazing what they are doing with it. The stone patio is all redone, those huge windows have all been replaced, I think you mentioned that that place would look great with those massive french style window things, and the owner even got all these really expensive looking stones to reface the house. "
Addison glanced at him
"But then I realized that you already knew all that, since you bought it."
Addison sighed, "I was going to tell you..."
"You like it." Derek grinned at her.
"Like what?" Addison questioned, trying not to smile.
"The woods, the forest, being in the middle of nowhere," he moved a little closer, "You like it."
Addison tried her hardest not to smile, but she couldn't, "Fine, I like it. But I also like walls, and bathtubs and great big walk in closets." she dropped her chart onto the counter and gave him a look, "So leave me alone."
"You like it, you like it, you like it," he continued to tease, moving closer and closer as she tried her hardest not to laugh.
Just as Addison was about to respond, a door opened across the hall. Addison watched all the happiness drain from Derek's face as he watched Meredith back out the door, hopping on one foot as she tried to fit a strappy sandal on the other.
"I am so late," she murmured to no one in particular as she rested a hand on the nurse stations in order to balance and put her other shoe on, a small smile splayed on her lips, "Finn is going to kill me."
"Hey Mer."
Meredith head snapped up, "Izzie!" she exclaimed in surprise.
"I came to see you," Izzie explained, "I haven't spoken to you in days."
Meredith fidgeted, "I've been..." she pointedly ignored Derek, "...Busy."
She glanced up as she smoothed out the wrinkles on her dress. Her eyes met Derek's, who immediately turned away.
"You look nice Meredith," Addison said in order to break the awkward silence.
"Thank you," Meredith replied quietly, "I should go. I'm late."
Addison nodded as Meredith walked away, then turned back to Derek, "Have you signed the papers?"
"I don't want a divorce," he said quietly, staring at his shoes.
Addison sighed and picked up her papers, "I do."
xXXX
Meredith's mind drifted over everything that had happened that day. Izzie was right, it had actually been days since they had spoken. She had come so caught up with her relationship with Finn and trying to forget her relationship with Derek, that she had completely forgot about her relationship with Izzie. She didn't even really know what Izzie was up too.
She had gone back to modeling. She knew that much. She knew they had stocked up on baking flour and eggs for no reason. She suspected that she might be talking a yoga class, but she couldn't be sure, she hadn't had time to ask.
She sighed loudly.
Finn looked over from the drivers seat, "Hey," he reached over and ran a comforting hand through her hair., "What's wrong."
Meredith smiled and leaned back against his hand, "Nothing important," she looked back him and out the window, "Where are we going? 'Cause I think I might be over dressed."
Finn grinned, "You look perfect, " he pulled the truck onto the shoulder of the road and then continued on into a field He turned of the truck and turned to Meredith, "I got a flat tire here once. "
"Really?" Meredith teased, not seeing his point.
"Listen," Finn grinned, opening his door, "It's pretty and I bought food; Don't complain."
Meredith slid out of the truck and immediately slipped off her shoes, tentatively walking through the grass.
Finn approached her with a blanket and a cooler, "Hungry?"
Meredith grinned mischievously, "Starving," she claimed as she stood on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck
Finn pulled away and set down the cooler before returning and encircling her waist with his arms, "I meant for food," he informed her, tightening his arms around her as she brought her hands to his chest and undoing the top buttons of his shirt and kissing the base of his neck as she did so.
"I didn't."
XXXX
Addison dug through her purse as she crossed the parking lot towards her car.
"They are in the pocket."
Addison searched again and immediately found them, "This borders on stalking,".
"I can't make sure my wife makes it across the parking lot safely in the dark?"
Addison stopped short and turned around, "What do you really want?"
"To apologize."
Addison smirked:"What for this time."
"That I messed up and made you think that Meredith ..."
Addison turned away, "Your apologies are beginning to get redundant."
"Addison," he called after her.
"What?" she spun around again.
"How long?"
"'Til what?"
"Until you forgive me."
Addison looked at him steadily, "It's going to be awhile."
Derek nodded, and approached her, leading her towards her car. She followed wearily beside him.
"I started building an outdoor fireplace. It's really something. All river rock. It's taking awhile. But it's going to be worth it. So you were right, it was a great idea."
Addison looked at him suspiciously.
"And I think I'll get one of those big grills like you saw on TV. Allot less running in and out of the trailer, but the deck is to small. And I know you said that the deck is going to end up bigger then the trailer, but I really don't see any other way we could do it without..."
"Stop. What did you just say?"
"What?"
"You said 'we'"
"I didn't..." he began to protest.
"Derek," Addison said softly, "I'm not coming back.:"
They watched each other silently for a moment.
"You said you would forgive me."
"And I will. But I am not coming back."
"But it's your home."
"No it's not Not anymore.:"
XXXX
Izzie lazily flipped through the channels. She needed a change. A new start. She needed something to keep her from dwelling on the future that she could have had.
She glanced around her, she needed a fresh start, and yet, at the same time she needed everything to stay the same.
She contemplated working on the painting she was doing for her watercolour class, or practicing her scales for her piano lesson the next day, or even get caught up on her reading for her book club. Instead she flipped the channel again.
Suddenly she bolted up.
A plane crash on the runway.
Mass chaos.
Tons of traumas
Izzie leaned back against the pillows.
The others were so lucky.
XXXX
Derek tentatively entered Addison new house. He stuffed his hands deep in his pockets and forced himself to move from room to room. The whole house screamed Addison to him. Everything was exactly her taste and done exactly how she would want it.
He suddenly felt like he was trespassing. He quickly crossed through the living room and out on the stone deck. Not slowing down he made his way to the river and back around to the other side and his own trailer.
Slamming the door behind him, he collapsed at the dinette.
She hadn't bought a house. She had made a home.
Without him.
She was making a life for herself, and it didn't include him. He didn't belong in her new life.
He didn't fit. She didn't want him to fit.
Derek ran a shaky hand threw his hair and reached for the ever growing stack of magazines, junk mail and papers that gathered there. Pulling his pen from his jacket pocket, he paused for several minutes before forcing himself to sign him name.
Staring at the signed divorce papers in front of him, he tried to convince himself that drinking whatever liquor happened to be in the cabinet, would not fix what he had destroyed.
He just sat there, staring at his hands.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
XXXX
Meredith buried her head against Finn's chest and inhaled deeply.
One of his arms tightened around her waist the other continuing to move gently across her skin.
"You have goose bumps," he whispered, hating to break the silence.
Meredith laughed, "It gets cold when you are outside at midnight naked."
"I thought we did a pretty good job keeping warm," he teased, wrapping his flannel shirt around them both.
"Amazingly good job," she smiled, "You know, your not suppose to be able to fit two people in these shirts. You might want to start buying a smaller size."
Finn kissed the top of her head, "This shirt is the perfect size."
Meredith laughed again, then sighed happily, "I am never moving from right here."
BEEP BEEP BEEP
XXXX
If you knew how lonely
My life has been
And how long
I've been so alone
If you knew how I wanted
Someone to come along
And change my life
The way you've done...
Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way
Back where I belong
XXXXXXXXXX
You know, Derek and Addison are making it very hard to write Addek. Addison is all like, I'm independant, I have a house and a pink bedroom. Screw Derek. And Derek is all like, I love Addison, no I Iove Meredith. and then he is signing divorce papers which is not condustive to Addek togetherness. No it is not.
But Meredith is happy and well sexed. She has a nagging suspision that she is a bad friend, but she is well sexed so, ya know, you can't have it all.
And Mr and Mrs and Mrs Polygamy. Not going to lie. That was there for my own amusement