Chapter 6

Jason

Sonny sent me to New York City for a meeting. I'm not planning to stop by and see Carly and the kids. She needs her space. I have to respect that.

I haven't called her in months. Instead I am reduced to getting updates from Max or Michael when he's home visiting Sonny.

Pathetic.

She is my best friend and I'm on the outside now. I never thought we'd be in this place. It was always a tightrope walk between me and her when it came to that four letter L word. A delicate balance that I thought we mastered somewhere around the middle of her marriage to Sonny. By then we knew what we could be to each other and what we couldn't.

I accepted where the line was and learned to deal with it. But Carly never really did. I knew that. Still as long as she was with someone else, or I was, we could avoid the subject.

I should have guessed it would come up as soon as we were both single. But I didn't.

I blame myself because Carly is hurting over me. I miss her like crazy. But I shouldn't go to her apartment today. It would only sabotage her attempts to once and for all let the idea that we will one day work all our stuff out and be a couple again die.

And I want her to be able let go of that dream.

Yeah, sure I do. Why wouldn't I? It will just be odd, that's all.

The radio station that I am listening to, in order to hear about traffic, ends the news segment and starts playing Matchbox Twenty,

I think

I've already lost you


I think you're already gone


I think I'm finally scared now


You think I'm weak
But I think you're wrong...

As I drive over the George Washington Bridge, my cell rings. The screen says Max. He stays with Carly full time now.

"Yeah? Everything alright?" I ask. I can hear how anxious my own voice is but I can't help worrying whenever Carly isn't in Port Charles.

"Fine." Max answers " I just thought you would want to know the kids are requesting a new bodyguard. They say Marco doesn't like to do anything fun like play video games or football in the park."

"I'll send Milo on a flight tomorrow."

"Thanks."

"So, no threats to any of them.? No one hanging around who shouldn't be?"

"Everything's real quiet. There's been no problems since we moved here."

"And ..." I know I'll sound like an ass asking this but I have to know."Uh... yeah... does Carly seem happy to you?"

"Pardon?"

"Happy, Max. Does she seem happy?"

"She seems fine."

"What about her eyes? Are they..."

"What?"

This is ridiculous. I don't know how to describe it but there is a look in Carly's eyes that tells me if everything is okay or not with her.

"Forget it." I tell him "Is she home?"

"Yeah, you want to talk to her?"

"No. Just don't let her leave. I'm on my way."

"Well how do I stop Mrs. C? You know she doesn't listen to me." Max sounds panicked.

"You can handle it, Max. She likes you."

"Oh, oh. Okay. I'll figure something out if she wants to leave. Maybe I can tell her the car has a flat tire. No, no, that wouldn't work. Hmmm maybe..."

"I'm on my way."

The song on the radio is now spitting my thoughts right out of the speakers,

If you're gone maybe it's time to come home.


There's an awful lot of breathing room
but I can hardly move.


If you're gone,

baby, you need to come home.


'Cuz there's a little bit of something in me
in everything in you

Matchbox 20


Why am I doing this? Because I have to see for myself she's all right. And maybe her experiment worked. Maybe she is done wanting to be with me. Maybe she doesn't miss me at all.

I should just go home and wait for her to make the first move. But instead I hang a left at the next stop light and start to make my way toward her apartment.

Carly has been a part of me so long that I just don't do well without her around.

Maybe I have some lost dreams I need to get over myself.

The lights of this strange city

are shining

but they don't hold no fascination for me.

I try to find the bright side, baby

but everywhere I look ,everywhere I turn

You're all I see

Let me, let me let go,

baby, won't you?

Let me let go!

It just isn't right !

I've been two thousand miles

Down a dead-end road

Oh, let me let go, darlin',

Faith Hill Lyrics