Chapter 7

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Carly

Max is acting strange. Instead of supervising the other guards, like he usually does, he is following me around the kitchen asking me what I'm doing for the rest of the night. He's a ball of nervous energy and I have no clue what is up with him.

"Why? Do you need time off., Max?"

"No, it's not that. But your aren't planning on going anywhere, are you?"

"I was thinking of taking the kids to see the latest Disney movie. Why? You got a better offer for me?"

"What? Um, I don't know. Um. When does the movie start? Not soon, right?"

"In a half hour."

His face contorted in a odd way and he mumbled "Oh crap."

" Why do you care, Max? Come on, what is up?"

"Nothing. Not a thing. But I think the car has a flat."

"Okay. We'll take a cab."

"Cabs are dangerous."

I raise an eyebrow. "We take cabs all the time."

"Mr. Corinthos said no cabs. Yep, no cabs anymore. I meant to tell you that."

"Fine, a bus then."

"Buses are worse the cabs!" he spits out.

What is wrong with him? He is acting as if all the buses in New York city are wired with explosives like in that movie Speed.

Max adds, " There is no way to cover all the security risks on a bus."

"You're not making any sense. Are you feeling okay?"

"And no subway either. Just stay home, okay. Make it a blockbuster night, Mrs. C., please."

"Is there something you're keeping from me? One of Sonny's enemies threaten us?"

"Yes. That's it!" said Max loudly. I could totally tell he was lying "You figured it out. So we have to all stay inside tonight just in case. Thanks for understanding, Mrs. C."

Then he practically ran from the kitchen.

Max was a good friend and great bodyguard but he had his weird moments for sure.

After popping popcorn and getting the kids settled in with a movie I heard the doorbell ring. Since not many people ever stopped by it is probably just a delivery.

Morgan snuggles into my lap as the movie starts. Michael's on the floor in front of the sofa. A minutes passes and then my ears ring at the loud screech of excitement the kids let out when Jason walks into the room.

They are running to him and hugging him in an instant. They saw him just last weekend, back in Port Charles, yet they miss him already.

My ache for him is magnified a million times greater than theirs. And yet I am supposed to be learning to need him less, not more.

His eyes look over their heads at me. And I can't help smiling like an idiot.

I take in all his features, drinking him in like he is water and I am about to die from thirst.

The three months apart haven't changed a thing. I doubt thirty years would. I am hopeless when it comes to Jason. I just love him. I just do.

If that is wrong then I'll be wrong till the day I die.

His eyes fill with concern and I realize I must be broadcasting my tortured thoughts all over my face.

"Boys, can you go up to your rooms so Jason and I can talk?"

"Will you read me a story later, Uncle Jason?" Morgan asks

"Don't I always, kid?"

Morgan smiles. "Course. 'Kay, see you later."

Michael takes his brothers hand and leads him from the room.

I stand up as Jason walks over. "Hi."

"Hey. You doing okay?" he asks me

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He scowls. "That's no answer."

I make my voice light. "The hotel is going great. Did you come all this way to ask about that? The phone still works, you know."

"I didn't think you wanted me to call."

"When have I ever not wanted you to call?"

His face is a mask of concern. Worry furrows his brows. In a strained voice he asks, trying to sound casual but it totally fails, "So, is your plan working?"

I should have never told him. But I don't keep things from Jason. He finds out eventually anyway.

With as much levity as I can muster I say, smiling, "Oh, that crazy idea to stop loving you? Not working at all. But anyway," I drag out the word, making it clear I am changing the subject, " how are things in Port Charles? Any good gossip? And don't tell me you don't pay attention to stuff like that. You have to know at least one hot piece of news. Ric acting like Norman Bates this week?"

Jason shakes his head at me. "Stop joking around, Carly. I came here to find out if your through with all this. Are you coming home soon?"

I miss you, too, I want to say but instead I softly answer, "Not quite yet, Jase."

He nods and then sits on the couch. He lets out a breath. " I hope I didn't mess up things by coming here."

Sitting next to him, I angle my body in his direction and say "No more than I've messed up things in the past. I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah?" He sounds like he thinks I'm lying. But I'm not.

I am honestly thrilled he is sitting here next to me. The only thing I am upset about is that I ever tried to push him away.

I tell him, " I think Lainey's wrong about us. About me. I'm not going to get to a day when I can tell my heart it's okay to feel this much love for you but not a bit more. That friendship is fine but don't hope for more. My heart just doesn't work that way. I'll just have to be a little less than perfectly sane and Lainey will have to accept that."

"I'm sorry, Carly. I did this. I'm making you suffer."

"You're right. You suck. Stop being so damn perfect so I can love you less."

He smiled. "Be serious."

"No. I don't want to be serious. And I sure as hell don't want to be sad right now. I want to enjoy you being here. How long can you stay?"

"I have no where else to be."

"So stay a while. Stay for a week."

"You sure?"

I know I want him too."If you are."

"Sure. Why not?" he says shrugging his shoulders.

Because I'll love every minute of it and want more, more, more.

Because I'll never want you to go home without me.

But I say, " No reason I can think of."

I keep on falling

in and out

of love with you

Sometimes I love you

Sometimes you make me blue

Sometimes

I feel good

At times I feel used

Loving you darling

makes me so confused

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