Hey look, a chapter.
You read, I am going to watch the Beverly Hills 90210 kids loose their virginity.
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"Wanna play a game?"
Izzie sat down on the step separating the house from the porch, "Sure."
"20 questions. I'll ask. You say yes or no." Meredith stared out into the sunset.
"Okay," Izzie said hesitantly.
"Are they just having sex?"
Izzie was silent, "I don't want to play."
"Iz, I just need to know. I need to know what I am dealing with. I'm just... numb." she paused, "Are they just having sex?"
"No." Izzie said softly.
"So he hangs out there for no reason?"
"Yes."
"Is he there allot?
"Yes. But Meredith this game isn't fair, I've only known a week."
"But in that week, he's been there allot?"
"Yes."
"Are they happy?"
"Yes, but..."
"Do they fight?"
"No... yes... no..."
"Which is it?"
"They... bicker."
Meredith was silent.
"I don't like this game."
"Have you talked to Mark about it?" Meredith asked, pointedly ignoring Izzie's reservations.
"Yes." Izzie sighed, her stomach was starting to churn.
"Does he think it's just sex?"
"No." Izzie whispered.
"Do you think that he is happier with her then me?"
"No!" Izzie exclaimed.
Meredith watched her for a moment.
"Is he in love with her?"
Izzie just stared.
"Is he in love with her?" Meredith repeated.
"I don't know..."
"Yes or no?"
"I can't answer that Meredith. I don't know." Izzie exclaimed, "I know that they are sleeping together. I know that they like spending time together. I know that they talk allot. I know that they have talked about you, and I know that Addison wanted Derek to tell you before you found out somewhere else. I know that they both swear up and down that it's just sex. I know that they are both seeing other people and that they tell each other about it. So does that mean that they are in love, or does that mean that they are friends that are having sex? I don't know."
Meredith just stared, her expression never changing, "Do they touch?"
"What?"
"Mark is always touching you, if he is within arms reach he's somehow touching you. When I was with Finn, I was always touching him, his arm or his leg. When I was with Derek, before, he would touch my arm, or my back or adjust my coat. Does he touch her like that?"
Izzie looked away. She tried to stop the flood of images in her head, moments she wasn't suppose to have seen. Derek covering Addison up with a blanket and kissing the crown of her head when she fell asleep on the couch, Addison unconsciously picking bits of lint off Derek's sweater before they left for work The way they moved around the kitchen making breakfast, touching each other gently as they moved past each other, or the night they watched TV while folding laundry which started with Addison kissing Derek every time they moved together to fold a sheet and ended with snapping towels and throwing socks.
"He does doesn't he?"
"It could just be habit."
Meredith was silent.
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know," Meredith sighed, "It's Derek."
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Mark Sloan had seen Addison Shepherd do allot of things that worried him. He watched her discreetly leave the hospital at lunch one day to meet a married hospital administrator at a hotel when her husband was working on a high profile case that kept him in the hospital day and night. He'd seen her return an hour later with Derek's favorite sandwich from his favorite deli, because even when she had been with someone else, she had been thinking of Derek.
He'd watched her perched on Derek's lap at a cocktail party when the hospital boards Vice President's wife very publicly asked for a divorce, all the while shooting Addison dirty looks. Addison had been oblivious to the entire scene until the VP, Robert Gibbons, approached her and implied that he was glad that the marriage was over because he wanted to rekindle things with her. Mark listened worriedly as Addison simply, and with evident confusion, replied: But, I'm married.
He watched her eat nothing and drink nothing except for coffee and single malt scotch for a week after her husband walked out the door. He watched a woman that saw humour in everything not crack a genuine smile for almost 4 months. He'd watched moving men move belongings out of the brownstone when Addison left her practice and blindly moved to Seattle. He sat by impatiently when she stayed with her husband when he called her an obligation and stated bluntly that he had not forgiven her. And he stayed silent for months when he knew that she was sleeping with her ex-husband.
Now he watched her sit alone on her back deck staring at the open fire pit. She was surrounded by every bottle of liquor in the house. She was completely motionless, a bottle of overpriced vodka dangling between her fingers. Not taking her eyes off the dancing flames she stood up. Mark didn't take his eyes off of her as she stood above the flames and slowly poured the entire contents of the bottle on the fire. She watched the flames grow and flicker and eventually die down. Then she reached for another bottle and did the same.
This worried him.
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"If your worried then talk to her."
"She isn't going to talk to me."
"Then who will she talk too?"
Mark shrugged.
Izzie shook her head, then stood as the doorbell rang.
Addison didn't even turn her head at the sound.
"Where is she?"
Izzie stepped back in surprise as Meredith pushed past her.
Meredith didn't wait for an answer, just marched through the house and out on to the back deck and planted herself in front of Addison. "It was my turn," she said icily.
Addison glanced up at her for a moment, not budging from her position curled up on the chair. She held Meredith's gaze for a moment, then her eye's returned to stare at the fire.
"You had your second chance with him. This was mine. This was my chance to get it right. This was my chance to be with him, to be happy." Meredith exclaimed, not caring that she was getting no reaction from Addison, "I let you have your second chance. I stepped aside so you could try to work it out. I thought you were doing the same. I thought that for once we were on the same page." Meredith threw her hands up in the air and sat in the chair adjacent to a still unresponsive Addison, "And the worst part is, I'm not even mad at you. It's not your fault. I didn't even come here to talk to you. I came here to talk to him. I was standing at your door when I remembered that he was in California. I just finally figured out exactly what I wanted to say to him, and believe me, it was not easy figuring out what that thing, that thing I needed to say to him was. Do you want to know what it was, I was going to say that if he could look me straight in the eye and tell me that he doesn't love you, and if I believed him, I would forgot all this happened and we would start over and be together. Cause it's Derek, and I can't just walk away. It's Derek. God I hate him." Meredith sighed, "The most ridiculous part of this entire thing is that I came here to talk to him. 'Cause I knew this is where he would be. Here. I came to your house to tell my boyfriend to basically leave you and fix things with us. I hate him for making me fall for him. And I hate you for stealing him back again." Meredith stood to leave, "But mostly I hate him for being Derek."
Addison still didn't move.
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"I think she is just thinking," Izzie tilted her head and thoughtfully observed Addison who was approaching hour 7 of her silent vigil.
"About what? I have never seen her think that much without speaking, or moving." Mark continued to pace the floor pausing only to stare at Addison through the glass window.
"She's stressed."
"Where is her phone?" Mark asked, forming a plan of action.
Izzie shrugged.
Mark dumped the contents of Addison purse onto the counter and fished out her cell.
"Are you calling Derek?"
Mark shook his head, "If anything this is his fault. I'm calling Kimber, who hates me, but will snap Addison out of this in about 5 minutes."
"Kimber?"
"She and Addison used to live together in College. They are close," Mark started scrolling through Addison's speed dial, "I'm not sure why. Kimber is brash, and vulgar, and completely full of herself and she hates me more then anyone else on this planet, including Derek Shepherd."
"You slept with her didn't you?"
Mark ignored her comment.
"Of course."
The cell phone started to ring in Mark's hand.
"Derek?"
He nodded.
Izzie took the phone and headed for the deck. Derek called every night, but tonight Izzie wasn't even sure that Addison would talk to him.
"Addison?"
"Mmmm?"
Izzie handed Addison the phone, gauging her reaction carefully.
Addison stared at the phone in her hand for a moment before slowly pressing it to her ear, "Hey."
"It is way to hot here. I am not meant to be this far south."
Addison listened silently.
"Do you think that Richard will let me come home early? I've learned my lesson, I want Seattle back."
Addison stared up at the stars.
"Add?"
"I'm here," she replied softly.
"You're quiet."
"Long day."
"What's wrong?" Derek questioned, his tone concerned.
"Nothing. How's the case going?"
"Fine. Add, what's going on?"
"Nothing."
"Okay," Derek stopped pushing and waited for her to continue on her own.
"When you come back," she said finally, "I think that things should," she paused, "Change."
Derek's jaw clenched, "Change how?"
"We are preventing each other from moving on."
"I like where we are."
"I don't."
Silence crept over the line.
"Addison," Derek began, "I've been thinking allot and..."
"Don't Derek," she said, "Don't leave this up to me."
"You can't say..."
"I don't love you."
"Addison your..."
"You don't love me either."
"Addison!"
"Just say goodbye Derek."
Derek was silent for a beat, "Addison!"
"Goodbye."
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She said "Don't leave this up to me to say that I don't love you anyway
Just leave it up to me to say goodbye"
Because these good times will never last
Keep a hand on the wheel and a foot on the gas
We thought it would last forever
I wish you'd just remember
No
Won't anything change your mind?
So please don't leave this up to me to say that you don't love me anyway
I'll just leave it up to you to say goodbye
Cuz these good times will never last
Keep a hand on the wheel and a foot on the gas
We thought it would last forever
In case you don't remember
No
Will anything change your mind?
(She said)
A one way ticket was a pretty good sign
(And I said)
How can you leave it all
(And she said)
There's not much to leave behind.
(And I said)
No
(And she said)
No
(And I said)
No
(And she said)
No
Just say goodbye
So say goodbye
Say goodbye
So say goodbye
Just say goodbye
So say goodbye
Say goodbye
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WTF is going on with Addison. She spent the night camped out on the deck with a fire. Not normal. AND THEN she breaks up with Derek. The question is, did she break up with him because of what Meredith said, or was she going to do it anyway. And if she was going to do it anyway, why was she going to do it? THIS IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO ADDEK TOGETHERNESS.
I can't decide what to do with Kimber. I mentioned her in this chapter 'cause I felt that Addison was rather alone in this chapter and I wanted there to be someone out there for her even if that person wasn't there. Depending on Addison's coping mechanisms I might throw Kimber in the mix. I like Kimber.
But seriously Addison, WTF.