History: Okay, I was a bit disappointed I didn't get more reviews at the first part of the story (I'm not very patient), but I was asked to write more, and so I will. The reviews I received last week for some of my other fics have encouraged me to write this, and I've got some other ideas for more Xemnas/Saïx, a Xemnas/Sephiroth (AU probably), and perhaps even a Vexen/Marluxia (I just realised I'm the first to write M-rated V/M fics at my release of "Ice Petals" O.o That was my first lemon!). And I am itching to write after being to Poland for a week! So here it is: the not-so-long-longed-for second part of Dark Moon. Tadaa!
This story takes place some weeks after the first part ended. It will be much more fluff and much more lemon, so brace yourself!
Saïx was leaning his back against the plain wall of a desert corridor in the castle of The World That Never Was. He was staring at the opposite wall, just waiting for time to pass. He was surprised enough by finding Xemnas giving him a day off, but what was really disturbing was how he had spent it. He had just stood by that wall, waiting for nighttime. How delightful it was not to be able feel bored, or he'd lost his mind waiting for the moment he knew his Superior would be back in his room. He reminded himself that he wasn't supposed to enjoy this, goddamn it! He grumbled. But then he suddenly grew worried. What if this was just another trick by Xemnas? Waiting like this was almost worse than the first time he had been taken. An empty angst had filled him, which mad everything to the worst, seeing he knew it wasn't real. He wished for what seemed the billionth time that he had a heart so he could feel something for Xemnas. Perhaps, if he loved him, he'd let his pride fall, but this wasn't about love. It was but an unorthodox way of leading a war. Saïx sighted. How many times hadn't he wondered what was going on in Xemnas' thoughts. Did he think of Saïx like a mere enemy, or did he enjoy their evenings? Definitely not the latter. Xemnas was the one who had used it like a weapon in the first place, why would he mean anything else but harm at this point? Finally. It was time.
X
Xemnas was leaning his forehead against the cool glass of the giant window in his room. His eyes were closed as he pondered over the hollow sorrow that filled him. He had never experienced an illusion like that. It was surely just the sad thoughts that filled him at the moment. He knew by now that Saïx usually came around half past one, seeing the other members was either sleeping or working at that time. He'd give his usual surprised look as he became aware of him, and he'd let Saïx take him, struggling just a tiny bit. Then Saïx would repeat the same as Xemnas came to him the next night.
It was 01.34 am.
Xemnas cursed himself for admitting it, but at that moment he was afraid. Not of what he expected was to be done to him. He was afraid Saïx wouldn't come. He wondered what he'd do if Saïx surrendered their war, if he'd pull out, tired of being done every second evening. He knew deep down that Saïx wouldn't give up, but he was still worried. What if? He would never let go of Saïx. Never. It was strange. He could vaguely recall how he'd wanted him dead after Saïx had taken him for the first time, and the amusement in Saïx' eyes more than anything, but now… He needed Saïx. He wanted him, and he'd never let him go. This only made the horror inside him grow. The clock on his wall showed 01.47 am. What if Saïx had left the Organization for good?
But a sudden relief grasped him as a couple of strong arms embraced his waist firmly from behind, neither loving nor hating. Xemnas turned to face those empty, yellow eyes and gave a perfectly exercised surprised look. Acting good as always, Saïx thought as he lightly caressed the outline of Xemnas' jaw after pushing him down on the bed. Xemnas struggled for a few seconds only, and then let himself get pushed back by strong hands on his shoulders. He closed his eyes, knowing Saïx would tare his clothes off, bracing himself for the moment Saïx would mercilessly thrust into him as he always did… but not this time. Xemnas gave a muffled groan as Saïx nuzzled his neck and bit the soft skin. His bare hands slid neatly under Xemnas' cloak feeling the skin underneath as he slid the zipper open. Saïx was almost gentle this night. He took time to feel his Superior's body against his palms, earning a slight shiver in return. He kissed him, though not on his lips, but everywhere else. Xemnas was having a hard time trying not to respond. He kept his stoic face as Saïx kept touching and kissing. It was obviously just a trick he thought. No matter how much he enjoyed it he could not show it. Saïx on the other hand, was disappointed. He loved the feel of the others body against his own as he slowly undressed them both, but Xemnas was obviously not thinking the same. He was just lying there: limp as always, probably just wishing to get it over with as soon as possible. Damn it! That hollow anxiety came back again. What if Xemnas wouldn't come to him the next night? Perhaps it was for the best that he'd just do like he used to.
And so, Xemnas once again groaned in pain as the berserker pounded into him, without preparations, each thrust harder than the other. He felt like his hips would brake, and Saïx was angry, he could tell. Probably because that trick of his hadn't worked, and if he went into berserk now... Xemnas let out an agonized moan. He felt blood seep down between his legs as the Luna Diviner withdrew. They both lay there panting a couple of minutes. Saïx knew he'd be tired tomorrow. Not because he had taken Xemnas so hard, but as soon as his Superior fell asleep, he'd get dressed and leave for his own chambers. Or would he? Yes he would. Even though he couldn't sleep without Xemnas at his side anymore, he had to leave. It was routine… He caught himself wondering whether Xemnas had the same problem… probably not. Then again, what would Xemnas do if he found Saïx at his side when he woke up? What to do? He looked down at Xemnas. He seemed so peaceful lying there fast asleep. There was no sign on his face of what he had been through.
Saïx gave a sigh as he once again found himself fully dressed, collapsing over the bed in his own room. Why had it come to this?
X
The next day was hell, like always. They were avoiding each other now. At least Saïx didn't have to work himself to death anymore; seeing he never spoke to Xemnas he didn't get too many assignments. He was usually down in the laboratory helping Vexen. Now Vexen wasn't really the kind of nobody who needed help, but he didn't mind having the berserker down there. He was still curious of what was happening, as he knew better than to believe Saïx and Xemnas was a couple. His curiosity got the better of him again, tearing him away from his work. He turned slowly towards Saïx, who was leaning his back against the wall behind him, like always.
"If you would just tell me what is happening…"
"No"
"Xemnas is in a bad mood, it's affecting us all"
"I don't care"
"I figured as much"
"Then why do you care?"
Saïx scowled. These arguments with Vexen were the only thing he did other than just standing there doing nothing these days. Life had become so pointless. Vexen surveyed the tired expression on Saïx' face. When the scientist finally spoke he didn't sound as cold as he usually did.
"You are not doing this by your free will, are you?"
He was met by silence.
"Whatever made this start, you will have to be the one to stop it," Vexen said. His tone was demanding now. It was clearly an order.
"And why is that?" Saïx said dangerously.
"Simply because Xemnas is our Superior. You are both acting stupid on the Organizations behalf, but you have no right to oppose Xemnas. Stop this madness before you get killed. You are endangering us all." Saïx finally dropped his gaze to the floor, and sighed.
"… What if I don't want it to stop?"
X
Xemnas' eyes grew wide. Had he heard that right? He stared at the door in front of him. It was silent now. Xemnas wasn't one who used to eavesdrop on others, but when he had heard Saïx voice from the laboratory he found he'd rather turn and go back to his own business, but then… Saïx said he didn't want it to stop? What could that mean? But he was tore out of his thoughts as the sound of footsteps came from the door.
X
"Xemnas is doing this to hurt you!" Vexen yelled. "Or have you forgotten that nobodies can't love?"
"Don't act like you know what's going on," Saïx said shortly, and turned towards the door.
"Fine. You deserve it if you are going to be so stubborn." Saïx went out into the empty corridor. Vexen's words annoyed him even though he understood it. He and Xemnas were the strongest members of the Organization. If they were hurt this bad every day, the others would be in danger. Still. He really didn't want it to stop. Then again, he didn't want it to go on like this either. Everything was so confusing. He came back to his room. Lost in thoughts he dropped facedown on his bed. The hours went by. It was 01.52 am. Xemnas should have been there by now, he thought. Anxiety was building up as the minutes ticked slowly by.
55… 57… 2 am… ten past… quarter past…
Wasn't he coming?
Finally, at half past 2, he could hear the sound of footsteps entering his room. His hair was stroked aside and lips were gently pressed against his neck. Saïx tried not to show any sign of relief as he turned to face those amber eyes. They were softer than usual. There was no trace of the malice that tainted them their first night. And his smile was equally beautiful. Gawd, he wanted to meet those lips. Shit, he didn't just think that? Xemnas carefully undressed him, much like how Saïx had done yesterday, taking of his gloves, and feeling the skin, even kissing his bare chest.
Xemnas is doing this to hurt you!
How he hated Vexen at that moment. Was this another one of his Superior's tricks? Was he going to act careful, then hurt him? It was all so confusing. Argh! Why couldn't Vexen just mind his own – A gasp escaped him as Xemnas slid two fingers into him. It wasn't exactly gentle, but Xemnas had never done that to him before. He felt warm all of a sudden, and he couldn't help but squirm under the other's firm grip, but a small voice in his head was screaming for him to end this now. It wasn't right. This wasn't the way it should happen. This should have been something beautiful they both wanted. This didn't look like a quarrel any longer, Saïx thought as he writhed under Xemnas, his breathing uneven by his sudden gasps. He didn't want it to be either. Saïx finally understood it. He wanted Xemnas. But he also understood that it could never be mutual. He let out another groan as Xemnas entered him. Saïx clung to his shoulders by pure instinct, sweating and panting. He was responding much more than he used to even though Xemnas wasn't nearly as brutal as he used to, perhaps that was just it, and Xemnas loved it. Things had been dull the last days. Seeing he could have this effect on the Luna Diviner was thrilling.
X
Saïx hesitated at the doorstep to Xemnas room. He could clearly recall the details of last night. It made him worried. Xemnas had been so gentle, almost caring… but he surely just liked knowing he got respond… or perhaps he had meant something by it? He thought about his options. He could either screw Xemnas senseless once again, be gentle like he tried last time without any success, or drop it like Vexen had told him to. Would Xemnas hate him if he told him that he wanted this?
X
Xemnas awoke the next morning aching all over, even though he hadn't slept this good for years. Saïx had no mercy last night. It had been a nightmare. He felt the dried blood between his legs. Was this the reward for being soft? Sadism? He then remembered something he had thought the first night Saïx had his way with him.
'The hatred and malice in the yellow eyes were turning into amusement. So he liked causing him pain, did he?'
Saïx liked causing him pain, right? Still, it was puzzling how he had tried to be gentle last time, and hearing those words down in the laboratory. Xemnas felt so confused. Ah, of course! Saïx didn't want to stop hurting him! Xemnas shuddered. He didn't want it to be like that. He had enjoyed last night most of anything, being gentle. And he had liked the beginning of the one before that too, he had just been so suspicious. Saïx liked causing him pain… Yet something about that didn't seem right either.
He suddenly hoisted himself up to a sitting position and stared right into a pair of yellow eyes. Saïx was sitting on the edge of his bed, dressing, and his expression stoic as ever. Xemnas' eyes grew wide. Had he been there all night? No… he wouldn't, would he?
"Why are you still here Saïx?" he asked slowly. Saïx thought for a moment. Vexen had been partly right. If anyone could do something about this, it'd probably be him.
"I couldn't sleep," he said courtly. And so he left Xemnas alone to stare at the door. Despite his neutral outside, Saïx was jumping inside. He had taken what could be considered the first step. They hadn't talked for a long time, but now, it was as if a barrier had been broken. Xemnas hadn't sounded angry either, more surprised and perhaps a bit suspicious. As long as he didn't do anything wrong now, things might turn out to the better.
But Saïx happiness didn't last long. As another dull day went by, slower than anyone yet it seemed, he wondered whether he'd spend the rest of his life waiting for nighttime. And finally nighttime came… but Xemnas didn't.
03.26 am… 37… 58… 04.43… 6 am…
No Xemnas…
Why didn't he come? Why not tonight? Had Saïx perhaps been too harsh against him? He might have. Then again, perhaps Xemnas was busy with something else? He was in fact the leader of this Organization; surely he didn't have time to fool around every night? And with that thought, Saïx crept into bed, trying to get some sleep before morning came. Perhaps next night.
X
But Xemnas didn't show himself the next night either. Not even the night after that. Saïx was getting worried. He had asked some of the other members if they knew where he could be, but none had seen him or had any idea of what he might be doing. Saïx sat down on his bed late at the fourth night alone, head supported by his hands. What was happening? Hollow anxiety was building up inside him once again.
Wasn't it obvious? Xemnas had left. And he might never come back. And if he did, was there any guarantee that he'd come back for Saïx? No, he thought. Xemnas would never care about him… At least Saïx wouldn't have his heart broken… how ironic. A single tear slid down his face, and he cursed his own weakness.
A sudden sound of footsteps made him wipe his face clean. No way anyone would see him cry! His eyes widened as Xemnas came into the room. His expression sad. He came to a halt, right in front of Saïx, who looked down into the floor.
"Were have you been?" Saïx asked as cold as he could manage, yet he didn't meet his Superior's eyes.
"… I needed some time to think… that's all." Did Saïx hate him now? He wondered.
"About what?" Saïx asked, still not looking at him. Was he going to end it? Did Xemnas hate him now? His tone was stoic, it was impossible to say.
"You know very well what." Xemnas cupped his cheek, forcing him to meet his eyes. Both amber and yellow were glazy.
"Is there something wrong Xemnas?" Saïx asked, wondering exactly how dumb it sounded. Xemnas merely nodded and gave a slight smile. Then suddenly, Saïx stood up and embraced him. Xemnas' eyes widened, but he returned the hug, locking his arms around Saïx' neck. And they stood like that, for what seemed like an eternity, neither wanting it to end. Eventually, Xemnas pulled away. He once again cupped Saïx cheek making their eyes meet. The berserker felt like his skin was burning from the other's touch.
"I am sorry to keep you waiting," Xemnas whispered.
"It's okay," Saïx said softly. Xemnas put a hand on Saïx zipper, but gave him an uncertain glance.
"May I…?"
"I want nothing else."
And so the war ended, as sudden as it had begun. Xemnas carefully slipped of his cloak, Saïx doing the same to him. They were both naked now, burning under each other's touch. Saïx wondered how things that had seemed so difficult could be so simple, and oh, so enjoyable. He groaned as Xemnas slid two fingers into him once again. But this wasn't like last time. He had chosen this by himself. It was… euphoric… and he fully enjoyed it. This was how it should be. Xemnas pulled out and gently nuzzled Saïx' neck, whispering words of comfort which wasn't really needed. He knew that, but he wanted the other to know that he cared. Saïx arched his back as he thrust inside. For the first time, they were joined together as one. Saïx clung to his shoulders, only inches away from Xemnas' lips.
They were together now, he shouldn't hesitate. Yet the memory of last time he had kissed Xemnas held him back. He had done it to cause him pain… He didn't want to bring that back. An irritated groan escaped him as Xemnas paused. He hovered over Saïx, supporting himself with his elbows and stared into his eyes.
"Is there something wrong Saïx?" he asked uncertain.
"Yes, why did you stop?" Saïx sounded slightly annoyed.
"Something's bothering you." Saïx thought for a moment.
"… The past… I suppose."
"Would we ever have done this if it wasn't for the past?" Both knew that without the quarrel, this would never have happened. Xemnas shifted his gaze to Saïx' lips and wondered how a real kiss would taste. And so he slowly closed the gap between his and his own. Softly. Saïx' eyes widened. He immediately tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss, making Xemnas gasp. Perfect, he thought as he slipped his tongue into his Superior's mouth. Then they started rocking back together again, moaning as they shared their first passionate kiss.
As they curled up together that night, Xemnas snuggled up safely in Saïx' arms, they both realised; this was how it should be.
Awww… The blockheads finally confessed for each other! Gawk! This was really hard to write! It's just yaoi, yaoi, yaoi, and even more yaoi! Is that something bad…? Anyways, I think it was real difficult, so I hope people will review. I never meant it to be this long. At first I was afraid I wouldn't write enough! I think it might have been too OOC, and I didn't really want to ruin the setting of the first part. Well, I'll leave it to the reviewers to flame me. Me gots other yaoi to write : 3
Thanks to Star Healer and forgottenxsecrecy for reviewing and encouraging me at the first part of Dark Moon. Love Ya!