Chapter 8: Awkward with a Capital A

by Krysta

(Buffy's POV)

Okay, so mental recap.

I'm Buffy Summers and I'm the Slayer.

Okay so technically a Slayer, but I'm the one that counts cause I didn't go on a major killing spree.

Anyhow, I'm the Slayer and Dawn is my little sister. Dawn being my sister makes sense, because we were arguing over the stupidest things back at the shop, which is owned by Giles…not Rupert.

Spike isn't Giles's son, but he's a vampire like Angel. It looked like it hurt for Angel to admit it, but he said that Spike was okay and had apparently been helping me in this battle against evil, so I might not want to kill him.

I can tell there was a serious history between the vampires and I'd ask Angel more of it later when Dawn and Spike weren't in the room.

I'm still confused though on how exactly I remember everything about my past with Angel, but I don't remember a thing of my own life.

Maybe it was when I hit my head on the crystal thing back in the Magic Box, because that's when I remembered Angel.

Boy, life as a Slayer sure is confusing.

(Angel's POV)

Buffy seems to be taking all this okay, but I want to know what took her memory in the first place.

I wonder if Faith somehow did this.

I wouldn't put it past her to put a spell on Buffy in order to kill her, but I honestly don't think Faith is exactly capable of that. She's more of a get-it-done-the-old-fashioned-way type of girl anyhow.

(Dawn's POV)

The excitement of this day is getting to me and I start to feel tired. I want to go to bed, but the problem is, I don't know where that is.

"Um…Angel?"

Angel looks to me "Yeah?"

"Do you know which room is mine?" I ask, feeling rather silly for not knowing where my bedroom is.

Angel gave a small nod, then looked to Buffy "You should probably get some rest too…"

It's kind of weird seeing him here and seeing him look at my big sister that way.

"Yeah…I think I should too." Buffy agreed. "Are…you staying here?"

It's even weirder seeing Buffy look at Angel that way.

(Angel's POV)

Am I staying?

I probably should, but at the same time I shouldn't.

I start thinking that Buffy's lucky she can't remember anything, because it's killing me being so close to her and having to keep my distance.

Faith knows where she lives; I can't just leave her here. Buffy's kind of helpless in this state.

"Sure, I'll stay."

(Buffy's POV)

Yay, Angel's staying.

But wait, where is he staying?

I guess he could take the couch, but that seems a little rude doesn't it?

I mean, here's this guy who comes in and practically saves you and you give him a couch to sleep on?

But where else would he stay?

I want to offer him to stay in my bed, but with me? That would be awkward.

Everything about Angel feels awkward.

It's like this whole 'big love, big loss, can't move on' feeling and I'm not so sure I like it.

"I'll show you your rooms…" Angel offered, then he led the way to the stairs, and Dawn and I followed.

(Spike's POV)

Wonderful.

Angel's staying here.

He'd better not take the couch, cause I've had my eye on that thing for the past 20 minutes.

Once Angel led the girls upstairs, I took the chance. I moved to the couch and I laid down on it. It was a little less comfy than it looked, but it would work.

(Dawn's POV)

Cool, Angel's staying.

Suddenly I feel even safer.

He shows me to a room and I push the door open. "Hey, I've got a pretty cool room."

I walk to a dresser and raid through the drawers for anything decent to sleep in.

Jackpot, pajamas.

(Buffy's POV)

After Angel showed Dawn her room, he closed the door behind her and led me to my room.

"Um…so where are you going to sleep?" I ask him.

"Let's get you situated first…" Angel looks to me and I look away, finding it hard to meet his eyes with my own.

They're so easy to get lost in. Big, brown, dark, mysterious, always on me…

He opens a door and I walk inside and look around a little "This feels like me…like mine."

I turn and look to Angel as he follows me inside a little and looks around as well.

I feel an awkward silence coming on and I look towards the floor.

Now that we're alone, I know I should be asking him things, like more about me, what he's got against Spike, more about this Faith girl, but I can't find myself to ask any of the questions.

"So…this is…"

"…confusing?" Angel finished for me.

"Well yeah. I mean I can't remember who I am, but I remember you." I look to him again, this time my eyes meeting his. "I can feel everything from the happy to the sad to the pain and everything in between."

"I'm sorry." Angel averted his eyes from mine.

"What I don't remember though…is why'd you leave me?" I ask, taking a small step forward. "Was I just not good enough?"

Angel quickly looked back up "Don't think that. You are…were perfect for me. It's hard to explain. It's a long story."

Obviously Angel didn't want to talk about it, but I wanted to know.

I had this overwhelming desire to be in his arms kissing him and then the next thing I knew I was…in his arms kissing him.

(Angel's POV)

Buffy lips.

I haven't kissed her since that night in the graveyard after they buried her mother.

I want to keep her in my arms and I want to keep kissing her, but I can't, I shouldn't. Not when she can't remember anything.

I pull away and look down to her. "Buffy…I shouldn't…"

I can't even form a full sentence. I feel like a recovering alcoholic having a sip for the first time in so long and trying to keep from returning to the habit.

"You don't remember anything, I can't do this right now. I want to but I can't."

Buffy looked down a little.

Can you say awkward moment?