Another one! And so quick! I know, I'm amazing. Sorry I haven't been posting PotR lately; my computer's having a little trouble. So to satisfy those of you in the need, I give you more of these...
The Lord of the Rings:
The Sitcom
Episode 3019: Gandalf Moves In
Gandalf: (causing a chair to hover, then flinging it across the room at Aragorn) Shut up, will you, about my gray hair!
Aragorn: Hey, just keep your dyes out of MY bathroom, it's my damn country--
Gandalf: Quiet! (waves his staff, and a white line appears along the floor) See that? Don't cross that line!
Aragorn: It's the White City, idiot, how am I supposed to see it!
(Gandalf changes the line to black)
Arwen: Will you two quit your bickering? I'm trying to clean this stinkin' fortress, and no one lets me broom (with the little happy animals) in PEACE!
Gandalf: Does she EVER stop nagging?
Aragorn: Hey! Don't talk like that! That's my wife!
Gandalf: Really! YOUR WIFE! HOW DID YOU KNOW? WANT A STINKING MEDAL!
Aragorn: Why, you li'l-- (runs at the sword of Narsil)
Gandalf: Hey, little man, that's on MY side of the line!
Aragorn: So what? I'm Isildur's heir, I am! And that's my sword!
Gandalf: So clingy!
Aragorn: Are you saying I'm from Star Trek?
Gandalf: Erm...Yeah...Weirdo...(grabs one end of the sword while Aragorn grabs the handle)
(Aragorn falls back with a broken hilt)
Aragorn: Doofus! You broke it...AGAIN!
Gandalf: Ah, cheap metal anyway.
Aragorn: GRR...(runs at Gandalf)
Gandalf: I TOLD YOU...NO PASSING THE LINE! YOU...CANNOT...PASS! Wow, this feels like deja vu!
(Gandalf shoots Aragorn out of the Tower and into the Gate)
Aragorn: (standing up) Ow...Stupid sword. OW!
(Aragorn shoots twenty feet off as the Gates to Minas Tirith shoot open, and the Prince of Ithilien enters)
Faramir: My Lord! The Men of Harad have gone on strike saying that they find the terms 'swarthy' and 'slant-eyed with a red tongue' deragotory! My Lord...?
Aragorn: Ow...Somebody get me some athelas...
THE END