Well, in honor of the fourth anniversary of Parody of the Rings (whoo! Four years since 9/19/02 and I still haven't finished this massive project), I have decided to give you all a gift in a number of postings in the coming days, mostly because I'm too lazy to update my website ( Go there! Now!) and I kind of can't.

Nonetheless, an old classic. Who would think stuff you wrote in middle school could still be so funny?

A testament to my genius, indeed.

The Lord of the Rings:

The Sitcom

Episode 3021: The Tour

Legolas: We're on the tour bus...Off to Edoras, first concert--

Gandalf: What is this? The Making of the Fellowship? Eh? Shut that camera off!

-later

Wormtongue: But that would take hundreds, thousands...

Saruman: Tens of thousands...

Wormtongue: But no mosh pit exists like that in all of Middle-Earth!

Saruman: Don't you hear 'em roaring? Look out back!

Wormtongue: (gasps as camera lurches back from Orthanc and over army) Are you sure they should wave the spears around during the concert? People will be in that thing!

-later-

Gandalf: (sporting ponytail)And now, our first song...

(Fellowship files on stage and starts singing "Fellowship's back, All right" and "Bye bye bye (Boromir)")

Gandalf: And now...Smeagol! Singing...The Gollum Song!

Gollum: Are you ready to rock!

Orcs: ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRR!

Gollum: I'll take that as a yes. Where once is fish...Now is gone...

-later again-

Gandalf: And now...Four guys who complain that, since the release of FotR, have had a large number of annoying fans, typically teen gals...

(Enter Aragorn, Legolas, Frodo, and...Gimli)

Gandalf: And our final act, Tom "The Bomb" Bombadil!

Bombadil: YOYOYO! Yeaaaaah! Bring down--

Cops: (entering) You're coming with us! (slap cuffs on Bombadil)

Bombadil: Hey! (pushed against wall) I didn't do nothin'! I didn't do nothin'!

(cops haul away Bombadil)

Gandalf: Erm...Yeah. Sorry for that, folks...

Orcs: ROOOOOOAAAARRR!

(Gollum bounces around in the mosh pit)

Gandalf: Thank you everybody! Have a great night, goodbye!

-one month later-

Gandalf: That's it folks, tour's over, bus is going to Minas Tirith so we can all get to the airport...Last night was the concert at Cair Andros--

Legolas: What is this? The Breaking of the Fellowship? Turn that camera off!

THE END

Next week: Gandalf won't leave!