Notes: So here it is, what I have promised, because I never go back on my promises. A mondo amazing 20th chapter celebrating chapter. Yes, I realize I've said chapter twice. And for those who responded to the last chapter, I'm a huge Lorelai fan, one of the hugest (yeah vocab still not working) but sometimes I think she should be called out on her stupid decisions. Although, she's not the only one on the show who needs that either.

And about Jess, just reminding you that Rory's story will be almost exactly the same as it plays out on GG. You know, Dean, Jess, Break, Dean, Logan. Basically because I could care less, I've never liked any of these guys. (except maybe Dean right at the beginning cuz it was cute and Jess in the last episode he was on cuz he called Rory out)

So, here's the 20th chapter for your viewing pleasure and please remember to read and review and keep flying the friendly skies. (I swear I'm sober).

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lorelai's House

Lorelai is lying on the couch watching TV. Rory is in her room working on school work. Chris walks inside the house. "Lor?" he calls, closing the door behind him. Lorelai, totally engrossed in her TV show, just lifts up her arm and waves it around. Of course, Chris can't hear or see her at this point so he wanders into the living room. "Lor?" he calls again.

"Yeah, I'm here," she calls. He walks over behind the couch and looks over at her. She glances up at smiles at him. "Hello stranger."

"Hey," he answers, smiling back.

"We missed you at dinner last night. It was unusually calm with Dad in England with Gran," Lorelai tells him.

"Yeah, sorry, I couldn't get away. I'm just glad I managed to wrap things up enough to come here this weekend."

"Oh, well you didn't have to, I guess," Lorelai says.

"But I wanted to," he says. Lorelai smiles, forcing it a bit. "I brought you something." Lorelai sits up, always excited for a present.

"Oooh, now you've got my attention!" She picks up the remote and clicks the TV off. Chris lifts a bag over the back of the couch and sets it in her lap. Lorelai greedily pulls the items out of the bag. "Bridal magazines?" She opens one, flipping through it.

"Yeah, Rory said the only ones you have are from a year or so ago and I think things have changed since then." Chris walks around the couch and sits down next to her.

"People still wear wedding dresses right?"

"Yes."

"I'm just saying, things can't have changed that much." Chris chuckles.

"I know, but Lor, I want you to have the wedding day of your dreams and I think that includes having the newest and the best," Chris informs her. Lorelai smiles. She leans against his shoulder, curling her legs up next to her and laying the magazines in her lap. She begins to flip through the pages.

"Wow, things have changed. Did you know there are blue wedding dresses in here?" She laughs turning to a page with a really funny wedding dress on it.

"You're not wearing blue," Chris insists, putting an arm around her.

"Oh I know, I was just commenting." She continues to flip through the magazines, laughing and pointing at different items. Chris watches her, enjoying just being together for a time.

"Hey, we should pick a date," Chris says suddenly. Lorelai pauses and glances up at him.

"A date?"

"For the wedding." Lorelai smirks.

"Yes, I understood that."

"Well, we've been engaged for awhile. I'm surprised your mother hasn't started in on getting a date set." Lorelai shrugs. "How about Valentine's Day?" Lorelai's mouth drops open.

"Well – uh – it's January – so I – uh – that's really soon," Lorelai stammers, furrowing her eyebrows. The answer seems to satisfy Chris. "If you want a holiday, how about April Fools Day?" She grins.

"That's a Wednesday," Chris replies, taking her seriously. Lorelai goes back to the magazine, trying to end that line of conversation. "Sometime in April would be good though." Lorelai presses her lips together, knowing she's got to pick a date sometime. "Lor?" He's staring at her. Lorelai can feel his eyes burning into her. She looks up at him and smiles.

"Actually, yeah, that would be good," Lorelai replies. She swallows, feeling that her throat is suddenly dry. Chris nods.

"Okay, so I'll go with April 20th as a tentative date and hopefully the place that Emily wants will be open for that date."

"That Emily wants? My mother's involved in this?" Lorelai asks, surprised and disgusted.

"Well, I don't know how to plan a wedding and you don't have that much time right now. She really wants to be a part of this," Chris tells her. Lorelai doesn't look happy with this answer.

"Is that why the sudden wedding talk? She called you and told you that we had to get going on this, that she wanted us married soon, that it suited her to have us married soon, and you jumped on the bandwagon?" Lorelai spits out. Chris removes his arm from around her, sitting back a bit.

"No, Lor, that's not it. We've been engaged for months and I wanted to move beyond the engagement phase. Rory does too. And your parents. And I thought you did too," Chris explains.

"I do!" Lorelai insists, her voice getting a little higher. She closes her eyes for a moment, to think things through. "I just can't deal with having my mother involved in my wedding," she explains slowly and calmly. Chris nods slowly.

"Oh-kay," he says. Lorelai presses her lips together, watching him. "Should I call Emily and tell her we don't want her involved?" Lorelai sighs in frustration.

"No," she replies. "She'll just throw a bigger fit." Lorelai glances down at the magazine. "I just wish you hadn't gotten her involved." Chris reaches out and rubs her arm, getting no response from Lorelai.

"Sorry, Lor, I wasn't thinking. But it'll be okay. She can do the hall and the flowers and we'll do all the fun stuff, and I'll be the go between." Lorelai looks up at him. "Okay?" She nods. "This will be the best day of your life Lor, I promise." She takes a deep breath, but Chris doesn't manage to elicit a smile from her. But, as he leans in to kiss her, she allows him. He leans back staring into her eyes. "Okay?" She nods, but her espression has gone stoney. "I'm going to go say hi to Rory." Chris squeezes Lorelai's shoulder and walks away. Lorelai watches him, an unsure look in her eyes. She takes a deep breaths, crossing her arms over her stomach, glancing around the room.

After a few minutes, Lorelai gets up off the couch. Glancing back, making sure that Rory and Chris aren't around, she grabs her sweater and walks out the door. She stands outside for a moment, her arms still wrapped around her, just thinking, a tense, scared look on her face. She swallows glancing over to the side of the house where the chuppah still stands. She slowly walks over there, and just stands there staring at it. "Still beautiful after all this time," she whispers, reaching out and running her fingers over the wood. Noticing the goat on the one pole, Lorelai smiles softly and walks over to the goat.

"Gilbert," she says, still smiling. She runs a finger over Gilbert, remembering how Luke thought she liked goats, giggling a little to herself. "So, Gilbert, what do you think? Am I just being stupid? Was the thing with Max stupid? I mean, was I just crazy getting engaged to Max in the first place? I just wanted to be married, to have someone around, to make my mother happy. Actually, I'm not sure why I said yes at all. So I was stupid wasn't I?" She stares at the goat for a moment, as if she actually thinks the thing will answer her. "And now Christopher." She sighs, shaking her head. "Why do I still not feel it? I mean some people fall in love at 16, Rory did, but I - I didn't. I didn't fall in love at 16. Or 26. Or 34. Why isn't this right for me? Why can't I fall in love with someone? Someone who's kind and wonderful, who loves me and wants to be with me? Why are all of these guys my John Taglieri?" Lorelai bites her lip, suddenly getting choked up. "Where is my Doug Ross?" she adds. She covers her eyes as she tries to regain control. Looking back at Gilbert through her misty eyes, she reaches out and traces Gilbert's form.

"You know I had to agree to it don't you? I mean with Jess. I had to. Rory's the most important thing in my life, the best thing I've ever done, the best thing that ever happened to me. If she were to find out, she'd never forgive me. If Chris were to find out, she'd never forgive me. And if I don't marry Chris, she'll never forgive me. It's a no choice situation." She looks down at the ground, tapping her foot nervously. "It really is, isn't it?" Lorelai looks back up at Gilbert. "Isn't it?" Lorelai closes her eyes for a moment, remembering the day that Luke brought the chuppah over. She can still hear Luke telling her that marriage is good if you find that one person. "Why is it that the one person is never the person I'm marrying?" she whispers.

Lorelai opens up her eyes, staring at the chuppah again. "But people can evolve together," she repeats as she had just over year ago. Pursing her lips, Lorelai lets another moment of silence go by. "Thanks for the talk Gilbert, but you know that Rory is more important than my happiness. That's why you were created in the first place." She smiles. "One day you'll understand, when you have little Gilberts running around." She giggles. "Okay, now I'm Dr. Doolittle. Nope I'm not even that good, the animals I talk to are made of wood." She giggles again. Lorelai turns and begins to walk away, but glances back at the chuppah.

"I'm doing it for Luke too you know," she whispers, suddenly solemn again. "I just would have ended up hurting him." She sighs, angrily wiping the tears out of her eyes. "He could have been the one." She rubs her forehead, feeling a headache starting again. Shoving her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, Lorelai walks back inside the house.