*Synopsis* so far our hero, Freddy, has received a wish from Skuld, the Goddess of the Future. For some unknown reason he wished to be god. The last part ended w/ the Almighty granting him the position of the God of the World as Myth.
Prologue
Wandering Heaven, Urd and Skuld - having finally finished their fight - were searching for Freddy. Skuld was quickly growing impatient, and as a result, got into another fight with Urd.
*****
In Hell, a message was delivered to a little known hell lord. He was a very bored hell lord at that. As his eyes scanned the message, a smile of glee twisted itself into shape.
At last, something to do. If this message was correct, there was a new god in town. And if he had anything to do with it, it would be one that would Fall very quickly indeed.
Chapter 1
Freddy leapt down the stairs in front of the Almighty's house trying to make his new clothing - particularly the cloak - to flutter dramatically behind him. It was quite interesting to do actually. He discovered that he just had to will it and a slight breeze began to tug at his clothing.
Well, that was certainly fun. He thought to himself. And not nearly as painful. Things were starting to look good. He had talked to his maker, hadn't died, and was now a god! Things were going very well indeed. Nothing could impact his mood now except for maybe...
"FREDDY!" Said god winced and turned to the source of the shout, eyeing the two angry ladies coming towards him. Scratch that, one *very* angry girl (cute little girl! Emphasized a voice in his mind) stomping up to him. The older one just looked... amused as she followed at a brisk pace.
She has that smirk again! Quick! Run for your lives!
"G' day..." said Freddy in an impressive effort of self-control (I will not run away from a girl) when he suddenly realized that he had completely forgotten their names. Warning! Keep foot from entering mouth! "Err, I just spoke to God." Good idea, distract 'em! He held out one of the printouts that the Maker had given him. "Um, apparently you have some new orders."
The younger girl completely ignored God's written word. Not a good sign. However, the older one snatched the printout began reading it eagerly.
"WHY DID YOU SNEAK AWAY LIKE THAT?" The younger girl asked, her eyes blazing with righteous fury and Freddy cringed, on the verge of reinvent what some would have recognized as the Crouching Tiger technique (AKA groveling with your face in the ground).
Actually that was a scream/demand. 'Asked' is not a strong enough word. Yeah, definitely not a good sign.
"Shut up Sis! Look at this! I'm a Goddess First class again!" Freddy sighed in relief as the girl shifted her attention away from him.
Saved. And why am I so scared of a little girl?
A *cute* little girl!
Still little.
Well how am I supposed to deal with her? I can't exactly pull any rank here. This is a zarkin' goddess we're talkin' about here! The other voice in his head fell silent.
"What! No way! You can't be a higher class than me!!!" The girl grabbed the printout and began reading it furiously.
Oh zark, Freddy thought to himself. I haven't known these two for even an hour and already I can tell this looks like another fight.
Story's Start At Last:
Part II: Trouble Stirred Up
An 'Oh My Goddess' self-insertion fanfic
By Freddy Isnot (AKA Freddy)
Chapter 2
Skuld glared at Freddy, then at Urd. She was having a hard time deciding whom she should be madder at. Needless to say, things were getting kind of confusing for her. First this was this upstart mortal WHO DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER HER NAME!!!! And now she was expect to take him on as an apprentice! Then there was Urd... Need there be anything more said about her? How could Urd have gotten promoted again was beyond her.
Freddy glanced nervously at Skuld. No way I'm forgetting her name again, either of their names. He winced as he felt the sore bump on his head that he had received for his momentary lapse of memory. It had been painful. Well, lots of things of late had been. He glanced at Skuld again; this had got to be her fault. Well, either that or it is all Steve's fault. Yes, it's always Steve's fault!!! He brightened as he thought, Oh well, at least I'm not bored!
Urd was in the air doing her own little 'Happy happy' dance. She was happy – No, 'ecstatic' fit a little better. YES!! I'm a goddess first class again! IN YOUR FACE SKULD! HAHAHA! I knew it was good idea to get that kid a wish! Now if I can just get those two interested in each other! Technically, she is only a few thousand years older than him in spirit while a couple years younger than him physically. But that is no obstacle for the Cupid of Love!
Needless to say, not one of the trio was paying any attention to their surroundings. As they quickly discovered when a group of gods and goddesses encircled them. Revise that, a group of *angry* gods and goddesses.
"Halt! We want the boy." Their spokesperson thundered. It was a rather big and menacing looking spokesperson. Six and a half feet high if an inch, arms thicker than Freddy's legs, a fist resting on the battleaxe strapped to his belt. The sort of spokesperson that expects to have demands met without having to speak it.
Freddy looked up at the group of big, buff, very dangerous looking gods. Most of them were wielding a weapon, whether it be for bashing, thrashing, or slashing, and they looked rather eager to use them. WAAHHH!!! WHY ME?!?! Freddy didn't even notice Skuld and Urd backing up to him, protecting him. Or would that be to hide behind him?
Skuld had some new people to glare at. Now there were these gods trying to interfere with *her* client! She wouldn't have any of it! Letting her anger show she barked "You stay away! He is my apprentice!" as if she could knock them aside with a wave of anger.
The large god stood unperturbed "He is a mortal trying to pretend to be a god, we won't stand for it. We demand that he gives up his godhood."
Great, just zarking great! Freddy thought, Jealous gods. And using a time tested method of getting out of trouble that he utilized very often, Freddy kept his mouth shut while looking innocent.
Use *big* smile! And if this really gets out of hand, we'll be forced to use the dreaded final technique of the SHS Fencing Team!
Which is?
Run away! Run away! Run away! A portion on his mind snorted at this.
"Hey boys, there's nothing you can do." Urd floated lazily up to them, "We have to fulfill the kid's wish. Besides, if we start breaking contracts now, what will Belldandy think? You know how she feels about contracts; she just might get angry if you try to break her little sister's contract with the kid here."
At this the entire group winced, "Ah, yes, we wouldn't want to anger Belldandy." The spokesperson shuddered as if recalling some chilling event. Various members of the group call out, "Yeah, remember the *last* time?" "I'm still paying the shrink." "I don't wanna diiiieeee!!!"
Freddy blinked. Twice.
The spokesperson mustered up some courage and declared, "But we can't just allow this mortal to become a god. I've looked at the wish myself and that wish should never have been granted. Besides, we gods have a reputation to maintain! What would people think if we just let anyone into our ranks? "
"But it was granted and the Almighty approved of it. So what do you want the kid to do? Jump through hoops?"
"You may not execute the boy." A new voice called from outside the little gathering.
Everyone swiveled his or her heads to see the newcomer. Freddy lit up into a cheerful grin. It was his guide. Maybe I can now find out his name!
Skuld's eyes narrowed as she frowned at him, "What do you want, Haman?" She asked in frosty voice. What's her problem? Wondered Freddy.
"Merely to help," he stated indifferently, striding between the two groups, "I couldn't but help notice the commotion you people are causing. Half the heavens already know about it."
"This does not concern you, Haman." The spokesperson stated.
"I've taken a personal interest into this," Haman looked at Freddy with a friendly smile. Freddy grinned and waved in return.
Skuld humphed.
"Now what was it you wanted again? And how can we get it without killing the boy in the process?"
Chapter 3
"What you do you mean I got off easy?" Freddy demanded.
"I mean that you could have died! You actually have a chance of staying alive now. Trials don't happen often, but whatever happens in them is very strictly enforced. If you can get a ruling in your favor it will be a lot better than having 'his head parted from his shoulders and impaled upon a spike in front of the gates of Heaven.' "
The trio, well, now the duo (Urd had left on an assignment from The Almighty) were once again on their way thru Heaven. Now to gather the materials and supplies that Freddy would need as a god.
Freddy winced at the thought, "Okay, okay, maybe you got a point there. Though I still don't like this. Especially when they agreed to giving a year to prove my worthiness as a god because, 'We'll want to come up with an imaginative execution.' "
"Oh stop whining. You are the one who made the wish. It is your fault that I had to stay up in the middle of the night just to grant it! And now it is your fault that half of the heavens despise me!"
"Oh, um, sorry about that. I didn't mean to…" he slumped slightly. Oh zark, why do I always have to do this sort of thing.
Skuld sighed, "No, it's not your fault."
"Right." Freddy straightened up, Can't get depressed now. "So what happens to me now then? I've got to do those 'labors', which - might I add - sound like they are going to be really hard. I mean, why else would they call it a 'labor'?"
"Oh they are, but don't worry too much. If you complete them well the council will rule in favor of letting you keep your godhood. I'll be on the council that will choose your labors. So will Haman and Urd." She frowned.
"What do you have against them anyway? You keep fighting with Urd, and Haman… well, even I was able to pick up that you didn't like him that much."
"Err, well, no one really likes Haman. He works directly for The Almighty and actually talks to Him on a regular basis. That makes him think that he can boss everyone around. And Urd, she is just my sister. We've been fighting since forever. And now that she had become a Goddess first class again, she is going to be rubbing it in my face for the next century!"
"Um, that's another thing I don't get…"
"Geez, you don't get much, do you?"
Freddy smiled at the comment, "Um, yeah, it always has been like that. But anyway, what is with the different classes?"
"That's simple; the class of the god or goddess determines how much power and responsibility they can have."
"Oh, I suppose that I have a class too, huh?"
"Yeah, let me see that sheet The Almighty gave you." Skuld reached out for the sheet.
Freddy tried to remember back to the last half hour. "Uh, Urd took it."
"No stupid! Not that one, the other one!" Skuld said exasperated
"Oh, um," Freddy began digging in his pockets, "here." He held out the crumpled sheet of paper and she snatched it away.
"Well, this says you will become a 3rd class god with a limited license. But you have an Earth Training License while I train you."
"So I guess I can say that means I'm not very powerful, huh?" Freddy asked.
She nodded. "Yes, you could say that."
"And I guess I'm not to be trusted with very much responsibility."
"You could say that as well." She nodded again.
Freddy smiled, "Great, you'd have to be an idiot to give me any responsibility. So exactly how much power and responsibility do I have?"
"Um, let me see that sheet again."
"It is still in your hand." Freddy pointed out. Skuld wasn't paying attention though as she was already reading thru the rest of the paper. Freddy moved behind Skuld and was using his height to look over her shoulder.
"So, what does it say?" he inquired.
"You are the God of the Myth!" She exclaimed.
The name held no meaning for him. "Yeah, so what?"
Skuld was unable to reply due to the fact that she laughing too hard.
"What's that suppose to mean?!" He snapped.
After she finished laughing - well stopped enough that she could talk - she tried to explain, "Everyone knows about the God of the World as Myth. For the past, oh, since forever, it has been more of a position than an actual god. Whoever took the position eventually disappeared, until there was no gods left willing to take up the position."
Freddy grinned, "Fun, a dangerous job."
Skuld laughed again, "That's just it! It isn't. They kept going on 'vacation' and would never been seen again. Truth is that they would actually get so bored with the position that they would take up and leave! Most of 'em gave up their own godhood just to get away from it. The position allows for no advancement and do you know what the office does?
"Uh, no, I don't." He confessed.
"Nothing! That's it, absolutely nothing. You probably will be head of your own department, but with absolutely no personnel or funding!"
"Oh, well, that sounds... nice." Actually Freddy had no idea of how it sounded. Skuld could tell and smirked.
There was a short pause before Skuld went back to the paper.
"Hmm, your recharge is cranberry juice and your travel medium is books."
"Excuse me?" He said a little startled.
"Cranberry juice and books," she carefully repeated.
"'I see'," Freddy began, "said the Blind man."
Skuld sighed and began explaining, "Normally gods and goddesses receive their power from all the living things on Midgard, but the Life Magic has to be processed by Yggradisal first. However, whenever a god or goddesses is drained of magic, or isn't receiving properly, they have ways of recharging themselves. It is basically a way of processing Life Magic without going through Yggradisal."
"'I see', said the Blind Man." Freddy repeated.
Skuld frowned and continued, "And you're travel medium is how you can teleport. I'll be teaching you how to do that soon enough. Just make sure you don't try on your own! It can be very dangerous! Oh, we're here!"
Freddy twisted around to catch sight of was she was referring to. "Oh, a store?"
"Not just any store! It's Wal-mart!"
"Wal-mart in Heaven? How the Maker did you ever get a Wal-mart in here?" He asked incredulously.
"Well, it's actually for souls that committed minor sins. Nothing bad enough to deserve Hell, so we have them work in the Wal-mart. Come on. Let's get what we need then go home. I'm tired."
Chapter 4
Belldandy enjoyed the morning. There was the sun peeking over the horizon - promising a bright a cheery day, the dew glistening on the grass, the moving pile of shopping bags with legs... Belldandy looked at Skuld and scolded, "Skuld, you should help Freddy carry his things. And after all he is your apprentice. You have to look for him."
"No, it's alright, I've got it." Freddy said, his voice somewhat muffled from behind the bags. "Its only about forty pounds collectively." He estimated under his breath. He caught a glance of Belldandy through a small opening left in the shopping bags. "Good day and how are you?"
"I'm well, thank you for asking." Belldandy smiled pleasantly at what little of Freddy's face she could see.
"He said he's alright." Skuld said simply.
"Are you sure Freddy?" Belldandy pressed the matter.
"So long as I don't have to go through that roller coaster ride again, I should be fine." He navigated his way up the temple steps, following closely behind Skuld. "And assuming none of the bags break."
"Don't worry Big Sister! I'll just have Freddy put everything in the temple; he'll be staying here for a while."
"Oh, in that case you should put everything in your room, Skuld."
Skuld stopped at the top step and gave her sister a confused look; nearly causing Freddy to bump into her and lose his precarious hold over the bags. "Huh? Why? I don't want his junk making a mess in my room."
"Oh Skuld!" Urd sang as she appeared in the entrance of the temple. Freddy spied Urd's face through the shopping bags.
Scary! She's got that look on her face again!
Maybe something interesting will happen?
Quick, pretend I'm nothing more than a pile of shopping bags! I don't want to become 'collateral damage!'
Wait, don't girls usually want to investigate shopping bags?
He gave a nervous gulp.
"What are you doing here, Urd? Didn't the Almighty give you an assignment?" From the suspicion in Skuld's voice, she obviously could tell that Urd was up to something. Or maybe it was just her natural, sisterly, love being expressed through that tone of wariness?
"Yeah, I already completed it though," she smiled, "And when I came home I saw your room and it was just so messy. Since I had a little free time..." She trailed off.
"What did you do, Urd." Skuld demanded. Freddy tried to back off a couple of step - this was beginning to sound like the start of a fight - and nearly tripped over the temple steps. A little juggling prevented losing his hold on the bags.
Urd ignored Skuld and continued talking. "So I went ahead and made up a love nest for you and Freddy!"
"WHAT!!!" Skuld exploded. Said outburst startled Freddy so much that he jumped back, lost his footing, fell the rest of the way down the steps, losing his hold on the bags in the process. He ended up in a heap at the bottom of the steps with the ground around him littered with items from the bags.
Freddy looked dazed from his position at the bottom of the steps. "Err, did she just say 'love nest'?" He asked, "I think I heard 'love nest'. I'm pretty sure I heard 'love nest'." He looked around at the goddesses with a frightful look and declared, "I think I'll run away now." With said declaration he scrambled to his feet and took off away from the temple.
*CLANG!* and ran head first into a robot. He fell back with a bump already forming on his head, and his eyes crossed from the impact.
Banpei, Skuld's robot and defender of the temple grounds was a short roundish affair with thin arms and legs. It considered the figure that had bumped into it and leaned forward to properly scan it with its telescopic lenses.
*BEEP*
LOCK ON
TRACKING: AUTO
MODE: ATTACK
ATTACK MODE: ANTI-DEMON
*KCHAK*
Suddenly Banpei took off the large flat metal hat that topped his head and out popped several tubes.
At this moment Freddy managed to pull his senses back together. Just in time to get a face full of good luck charms. With a scream of pain Freddy collapsed again thankfully unconscious this time.
Chapter 5
A small shadow hovered above the temple walls and eyed the temple and scowled. Imp, named thus because it was an imp, was rather smallish thus making it all the more harder to other demons and even gods to sense.
It couldn't enter the temple; it was not powerful enough to survive such an attempt. However, it was more than powerful enough to eavesdrop on any conversations going on inside.
The imp scowled again, it didn't like what it had heard this day.
"What are you doing here?" A rather annoyed voice demanded from behind. The imp gave a small "eep" and spun around.
"Oh, it's only you." The imp relaxed as he saw Marller, a fellow demon that spend most of time trying (keyword being "trying") to cause trouble for the goddesses residing in this temple. "I'm on a mission to learn more on the new god. He is in there." The imp indicated the temple.
"So that's what I sensed!" Marller frowned; a new god could mean trouble. Having to deal with the three Norns was trouble enough. "Which god is it?"
"It is the new God of the World as Myth."
Marller snorted, "That it? Ha! I won't have any trouble with him then. By the way, who did they con into taking the job now?"
"A mortal."
"What! That's not fair! If they can make mortals gods than we should be able to make 'em demons too!"
"My Lord has given that consideration, which is why he bid me to watch over this new god. That is why he bid for me to request your help in this."
"Really? A Hell lord asking me for help?" The wheels (what few that there were) were turning in Marller's head and churned out a simple equation. Hell lord + favor = Promotion! "Whatever it is, I'll do it!"
"Since it seems that the new god will be staying here, you will watch him. Also give him some trouble; we don't want him looking good. My Lord is prepare a small, ah, surprise for him that you will want to see. And if the Norns are still around at that time, well, there'll be... trouble."
"You can count on me!" Marller smirked, "And put in a good word for me with your boss."
"Right." The imp grimaced and vanished in a cloud of sulfurous smoke, returning to the pits of Hell to report his Lord.
Marller cackled evilly and turned to face the temple. Ha! Now I have a Hell Lord backing me! Let's see you take me on now, Belldandy! "Bwahahaha!" *Zap* Oh my, maybe she was making too much noise.
Skuld peered out the temple door and called out, "Belldandy wanted me to ask if you're alright. What just happened?"
Urd grinned as she brought down her arm. Marller was always fun to blast, and now with her restored powers, it was even more fun! Wonder why she was just hovering over the wall though. Maybe she's finally snapped? "Don't sweat it Freddy, it was nothing to worry about at all... Hey, is that thunder?"
Chapter 6
The imp materialized before a large stone throne, "My Lord, it is done as you have commanded."
Out from the shadows the hell lord leaned forward, his eyes glowing malevolently, "Good." He hissed, "I'll be able to add another notch to my belt soon."
The imp frowned, "But you don't have a belt."
*Zap!*
The hell lord shook his head, "You've been with me for at least a few hundred years now. You've seen me 'convince' at least a dozen different Gods of the Myth to leave their positions. And you've heard me say that exact same thing each and every one of those times. YET YOU KEEP REPLYING WITH THAT SAME STUPID COMMENT!" The hell lord settled back in his seat and sighed, "You better be glad that life is boring enough that I'm content with only zapping you." He waved the imp off, "Now drag yourself out of here. This moral offers a great deal of opportunity for me." And a chance to relieve this boredom "I'm going to have fun playing with him." He shifted in his seat, trying to become more comfortable, "Damn, I'm bored. Damn the idiot who thought up the idea of creating a job where all I do is try to counteract the actions of only one god!" He shifted in the seat again, "And damn this chair as well!"
As the imp was pulled out by a couple of larger demons, the hell lord turned to the side of his chair. He scowled into the opaque waters of a small pool, "I just wonder why I can't see anything about him. Well, at least I've got that idiot Marller watching him for me so it should be all right." He looked up suspiciously at the ceiling. Maybe it was some demon getting a little rambunctious, but the thunder certainly was annoying.
*Author's Note*
'Kay! Got that done! And boy, was that an adventure and a half. I know it isn't long but I must have written and rewritten that thing entirely over at least twice, parts of it at least half a dozen times over. I deleted half of it and wrote something entirely different. Then I decided that it wasn't long enough and combined it with what I was planning on writing for my next part. I'm going to have to completely rewrite my outline now (not that I have an outline). I just don't know how to make this part any longer without going full out and including *everything* that I had planned for the next two parts. What kept from posting this long ago was my indecision, I wanted to make this longer, but I didn't know how to.
Anyway, I just wanted to say a few things, make some things clear. First, I'm writing this with only one audience in mind - me. I'm writing this to have a bit of fun and to learn how to write. I know that I am not good, in fact, I'm probably pretty bad. I hope to correct that with this.
Second, "zark" is basically my substitution for swearing or slang. I use it to mean anything from "darn" to "cool" to "amazing" to "freaky". I do the same thing with "vack" which you may see once in a while, though "vack" has a stronger tone. You may also see me bring in German and Korean words every once in awhile. I take German at school and my mother is Korean, I've picked up a little of both. When I use them, I'll write the English translation next to it in { }.
Third, I love Self Inserts. SIs are really great, I spend my waking hours scouring the internet for SIs, I think a well-done SIs are the greatest. I've read SIs by Brett Handy, Chris Angel, Greg Sharpe, Twister, Skysaber, and other greats. I just hope that I can write something that is passable and won't get me ostracized by my friends and fellow authors.
Fourth, uh, I forget my fourth. I know I had one though.
Fifth, I'm not gonna have any romance between me and anyone else though I'll have Urd trying to push me and Skuld together despite the age difference (How old is Skuld anyway?). I'm an Anime fan, a verified bookworm, and geek (though I am an athletic geek!), not a can't write about what I don't know, though if I wanted to I probably could make it up as I went along.
This brings us to my next point.
Sixth, I am making up a lot of this as I go along simply because I don't know enough to work only from what I do know. I've only seen a couple of the OMG tapes and read only a couple of the graphic novels and I've pretty much forgotten it all. If I do make some errors that just don't work or the characters are just totally vacked, I urge to you email me with an insulting flame that mocks my heritage, my clothes, and anything else you can think of. Pain makes me stronger!
Seventh, this ain't going to be the final draft of this chapter. I just know it.