Author's Note: And for something (not quite completely) different!
Tempest in a Teacup: Intermission
+blue-eyed behavior+
1. Bathing times will be decided according to each crewmember's schedule, rank, and the ability to remember to lock the damn door when she's in there.
2. No person onboard has the authority to issue "permission slips" and any individual who presents one will have her ink supplies confiscated for a week.
3. No gambling with any civilian(s) onboard.
a. It's still gambling even if she gives back the winnings.
4. Nobody is allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that "Master Iroh got up before breakfast; it's a miracle!"
5. Nobody is allowed to shake anything their mother gave them, while on duty. (Or off duty when I can see it.)
6. Music Night is a privilege not a "rite of passage."
7. Katara is forbidden to share ideas unless a chaperone is present. (Uncle Iroh doesn't count.)
8. The proper response to an official order is not "Oh, you're just saying that to sound important."
9. Taking an officer's, or a prince's, belongings without permission is theft, not "emergency acquisition for artistic purposes."
10. Only one person on board is allowed to wear a dress while on duty. (She may not loan a dress to others, no matter what sort of bet was made and won/lost.)
11. Any inquiry answered with "I've always wanted to try it" or "why not?" is a sign of prohibited activity; the miscreant in question is to be dragged out of wherever she wormed her way in and escorted to her room.
12. The "she" of every "she is not allowed" commandment issued, applies to only one person on the ship and she is no longer allowed to pretend ignorance of this.
13. No revolutions during dinner.
14. Armored rhinos are not to be taken out for "walkies".
15. Anything involving live squid and a flute is definitely a bad idea.
16. A lap dance is not a valid form of currency, and certain crewmembers will stop exploiting the officers this way when bargaining at market. (I don't care if she thinks it's an "untapped economic resource".
17. Katara does not have the medical authority to prescribe naps.
18. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to any female individual shorter than five feet.
19. Curiosity killed the cat and will get the girl locked in a trunk.
20. A good idea can only be labeled so by someone sane and non-blue eyed.
1. Zuko is a prince, not a princess.
2. "You'd have to be mad to try it" is not permission for me to try it.
3. My sense of humor is not a medical condition. (Neither is Zuko's lack of it.)
4. I will not gamble with the crew.
a. It's still gambling even if I know I'll win.
5. I will not forge documentation granting me military rank. (Ditto for the cat and the eel.)
6. Serving tea to rhinos is a waste, not philanthropy.
7. I will not handle Zuko's sword; I will keep my hands off his equipment.
a. I will not use the expression "handle Zuko's sword" in public or private. Ditto for "his equipment."
8. "How many damn awful travel songs do you know?" is not a request.
9. I may not let the cat take responsibility for any of my actions.
10. Anything involving live squid and a flute is probably a bad idea.
11. Lt. Ji's bunk is not for bouncing.
12. I will not write any more ballads about the (in)famous "Goat in the Prince's Bed" incident.
13. I will not hold funerals for a rat. (Even if the rat in question did "serve the ship to best of its nature and ability".)
14. Master Iroh's being the Dragon of the West does not make Zuko, the Salamander of the West, Two Doors Down and Three Inches Up.
15. I will not introduce myself at port as the ship mascot.
16. I will not declare Agni Kai challenges on the cat's behalf.
17. I will not accept piggyback rides from anyone below the rank of lieutenant.
18. Whatever happens on Music Night, doesn't get discussed outside of Music Night.
19. I will not adopt anything scheduled to be on the menu. That includes eels, shrimp, carp, and roots.
20. I will not ask any Firebender on duty to play Hot Potato. (No matter how much I want a snack.)