Ch.18 Did You Ever Truly Love Her?
WARNING: Quite a bit of cursing…hehehe sorry, if anyone has a problem with it, tell me and I'll censor it.
"I expect you to continue your training, even though you will not with us for a while…I expect to see improvement." He stated, his back still to her. Hinata smiled with gratitude at his understanding, and she nodded her head.
"I understand Tou-san." She replied, "Thank you." she added softly. Nodding his head slightly, he walked out of the room and down the long hallway.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sasuke slowly opened his apartment door and walked in, his body sore and hurting terribly. His mind felt numb and fuzzy, oblivious to everything except the pain he was feeling from the major increase of his training. He dragged his tired feet across his kitchen and into his bedroom. Not caring about getting undressed, he flopped onto the bed, exhausted. He sighed tiredly, reveling in the softness of his mattress. Wrapping his arms around his pillow, he inhaled deeply, but then suddenly stopped as his eyes snapped open. Her scent still lingered. It had been a week and he could still smell her sweet sent on his pillow. He squeezed his eyes shut, the pain in his body fading in comparison to the pain in his heart.
Pushing himself off the bed, he walked over to his closet, grabbing extra sheets and an extra pillow. Unable to sleep in the same room where only a week ago he had made love to her, he threw down the sheets and pillow on his living room floor. This time, stripping himself of his clothing, he lay down and wrapped the blankets around him tightly. Closing his eyes, he wished for sleep, he wished for a dreamless night, he wished for this pain to go away. But as he lay there with his eyes closed, he knew that none of his wishes would be granted. He hadn't been able to sleep for a week, his eyes were red, bags were beginning to accumulate under his eyes, and there were dark rings circling them.
He clenched his teeth as he desperately tried to keep his mind off of her. He needed to focus on something, on anything, other than her. She was in the past, she would always be in the past, she would never be anything more than a memory. But every breath he took, every beat his heart made was a reminder of how painful a memory she would be.
"I hate you." her words still haunted him.
"Did…you really think I could…love someone like you?" Her painful words slashed at his heart.
"T-thanks for letting me…u-use you to get b-back at Naruto." How could he have allowed himself to play such a fool? How could he have allowed himself to believe her smiles, to believer her laughter, to believe her love? How could he have believed her for so long? What did he ever see in her? She was just like Sakura…no, worse than Sakura. At least with Sakura, she only used men for sex…but with Hinata, she used him for revenge.
Sasuke rolled over onto his side, his black eyes opening slowly, the bedroom clearly within sight. His mind grew hazy, he could still taste her sweet lips, he could still feel her soft body quivering beneath him, he could still hear her melodious voice sighing his name. Sasuke sighed shakily, clutching his chest and squeezing his eyes shut. It hurt, it hurt so much. The memories of her were just as painful as his memories of his family, both of them like dreams that had slipped through his fingers. Fate had snatched them away from him, leaving him to endure the pain of their loss. His heart growing bitter and icy, he had built walls around himself. He told himself it was because he didn't like being near people, he told himself it was because he didn't like interacting with people, but he knew deep down, it was just because he didn't want to be hurt again. He never wanted to feel so vulnerable, he never wanted his heart to be destroyed again, but then an annoyingly stupid and loud blond kid had slowly broken those barriers down.
Sasuke could remember when he had finally realized just how close the blond was to him, and he panicked. He left, he had cut those bonds between him and Naruto, he had severed and ripped him from his heart. But he had underestimated him, for Naruto continued to hold those broken bonds, forcing Sasuke to remember what friendship was all about. Forcing him to live again, forcing him to trust. It was because of that, that he fell in love. It was because of that, that he was heartbroken once again.
She was in the air, making him breathe her in. She was in his blood, making his heart feel her every time it beat. She was in his soul, making him see her wherever he went. For some reason, she had shot through his defenses easily and melted his stone cold heart. But she didn't like what she saw, she had gazed down on his tainted black soul and ran from him, ripping his heart out of his chest, leaving him for dead. And now that's what he felt like…dead.
No, not dead. For death would be preferable to this pain. He still wanted her, he still loved her. He didn't understand himself, and he never understood his heart. He didn't know why his heart still longed for her, he didn't know why it still ached to be with her. But he knew that, thankfully, his pride would save him from her. She wouldn't hurt him again, he would make sure of that.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
An incredibly loud banging noise, made Sasuke's exhausted and sleeping body twitch, his body jerking and groggily waking up. Sasuke slightly lifted his head towards the door, his eyes squinting and blinking several times to clear his blurry vision. Mumbling incoherent words, he put his head back down onto his pillow once the banging had stopped. His mind relaxing once again.
After knocking on Sasuke's door for five minutes and receiving no answer, Naruto took out the spare key and walked in, to see an unconscious Sasuke on the living room floor. Frowning with confusion, Naruto walked over to the bedroom to find the bed made and empty. Walking back over to Sasuke, Naruto scowled down on his best friend's passed out body while he put his hands on his hips.
"Hey asshole wake up!" he yelled, bending down to Sasuke's ear. But upon receiving no response, Naruto narrowed his eyes. Putting his hands back to his sides, Naruto lifted his leg up, and gave Sasuke a swift hard kick in his side. Sasuke grunted from the force, and then with lightening fast movements, he shot his leg out, tripping Naruto.
"What the hell man!?" Sasuke growled as he quickly got up and pinned Naruto to the floor.
"It's about time you woke your ass up!" Naruto yelled back at him, shoving Sasuke off of him. "We need to talk." Naruto stated seriously, as he sat up. Sasuke ignored him as he dove under his covers again.
"There's nothing to talk about." He replied with a bored voice, turning onto his side, his back towards Naruto.
"Bull shit man, when the hell are you gonna use your so called 'genius' brain cells to figure out that you need to get back with Hinata?" Naruto asked him tauntingly, already pissed that he had to do this.
"Shut your fucking mouth Naruto." Sasuke warned him angrily.
"Make me you bastard!" Naruto yelled, "You won't even let her explain!"
"She 'explained' enough." Sasuke said quietly, remembering that morning clearly like it just happened.
"She didn't mean those things stupid!" Naruto cried, frustrated. Why does Sasuke have to be so fucking stubborn?! Sasuke turned quickly, throwing a fast punch at Naruto, one which he barely dodged.
"I said, shut up!" Sasuke growled fiercely.
"NO! If you would just let her explain, she'd tell you why she said those things!" Naruto yelled at him, clenching his fists trying desperately not to literally pound some sense into his head.
"I know why she said those things!" Sasuke yelled back, nearly at his limit with patience. In a span of a week he's only gotten three hours of sleep, he hasn't eaten, and his heart was filled with pain for what Hinata had done to him. If Naruto wouldn't shut his mouth soon, Sasuke would likely beat him to a bloody pulp.
Naruto pulled up short, shock rippling across his face, his blue eyes wide while looking at Sasuke.
"Wait…so you know she was raped by Neji?" he asked confused. He didn't think that Hinata had told Sasuke already. Sasuke's body was paralyzed with shock at his words. His black eyes widened and his heart lurched in his chest. His mind was numb, too speechless to say anything. But moments later, he schooled his face back into its bored expression, all the while his heart hurt deeply for her.
"Damn bitch deserved it." He murmured softly, getting up. Inside, he may feel terribly sad for her and furious at Neji, but his pride refused to show any kind of pity for her.
In a flash, Sasuke was suddenly slammed into his wall with a tremendous amount of force. He whirled back around to Naruto, only to find himself punched in the face and kicked hard in the stomach. Falling to his knees, he looked up angrily at Naruto as the blond quickly grabbed him by his throat and pinned him to the wall.
"You fucking heartless bastard! You're such a fucking asshole! How the fuck can you say something like that?!" Naruto screamed at him, enraged. Sasuke shoved Naruto away and punched him back. Sasuke glared at him with his now blood red eyes, spiting out the small amount of blood that gathered in his mouth.
"How can you say that?" Naruto panted, trying to get himself under control, "From what I hear, she was the best thing that ever happened to you. From what I hear, you loved her." Naruto stated, his blue eyes boring into Sasuke's red ones. "From what I hear…she loved you." he whispered. There were tears gathering in his eyes when he finally looked away from Sasuke. Turning his back to him, Naruto headed towards the door.
"I'll just tell Hinata that she's wasting her love, her hope, her tears on a heartless bastard…I hope you're satisfied Sasuke, for destroying a good woman who's only crime was falling in love with you." Naruto said softly, angrily as he walked out and quietly closed the door behind him. Sasuke stared at the door with wide eyes, full of pain and guilt.
Looking away, his eyes black once more, he gazed towards his bedroom. He could almost see her, smiling, happy. Walking towards the bedroom, he looked at the lonely bed in front of him. He could almost see her laying down, sleeping peacefully, looking like a beautiful glowing angel. Then his gaze became darker, seeing his vision of Hinata, crying, pleading with Neji to stop from raping her. The vision chilled his blood and made him sick to his stomach. His hands started to fist at his sides, and before he knew what he was doing, he was already outside and headed towards the Hyuuga compound.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Neji was sitting up, his head leaning back on the cool wall behind him with his eyes closed. Even though it had been a week from when his seal was activated, his body was still recovering from his ordeal. It was the longest time his curse seal was ever activated and it took a toll on his body, but he didn't regret it, not the pain or anything else. Because she saved him. For some reason, she saved him. He wasn't really sure why, but he guess it was just because that's who she was. She was always the stronger one, the one who could see more clearly than any in their family.
Suddenly, Neji's eyes flickered open and shifted towards his window, where Sasuke entered silently. The two men glared at each other, their bodies tensing, preparing themselves for whatever the other would do next. Sasuke walked to the foot of Neji's bed and stopped.
"I was wondering when you were going to show up." Neji stated, his voice void of any emotion. Sasuke narrowed his dark eyes at the older man.
"So it's true." He stated aloud, shocking the Hyuuga though Neji refused to show it. Neji, instead, quirked a brow up, indicating his confusion.
"You didn't believe her?" he asked surprised, then narrow his eyes at the Uchiha. What kind of boyfriend was he, to not even believe when his own girlfriend told him she was raped? Sasuke, looked down at him and crossed him arms.
"She didn't tell me." He said, like he didn't care, when inside he was seething with rage at what this man had did to her. Neji stared hard at him, debating whether or not to believe him. But what reason did he have to lie? Why didn't she tell him?
"What happened?" Neji shot, suspicious of the younger man.
"None of your damn business." Sasuke growled softly. Neji glared at him angrily.
"What the hell did you do?" Neji demanded, pissed that Sasuke had probably hurt Hinata.
"Fuck you, I don't have to answer to you." Sasuke argued, irritated.
"I knew…I knew you were just using her, you bastard." Neji's hands fisted in his sheets, his white eyes flashing with his jealousy and anger at the other man.
"I wasn't the one using anyone, that was all your 'sweet' little princess. And shut your fucking mouth, I should kill you for what you did." Sasuke threatened menacingly.
"Then why aren't you?" Neji taunted, "If you didn't use her, then you love, and if you love her then you should be at least kickin' my ass right now…but you're not." Sasuke suddenly jumped up with a low growl and tightly grabbed Neji's throat squeezing it.
"You got a death wish Hyuuga?" his voice dripping with venom as his grip tightened. He watched Neji under him, he didn't squirm, he didn't move, he didn't panic. It was as if he had already accepted death, wanted it even. Sasuke's face twisted with rage as he suddenly pulled out a kunai and plunged it forcefully into Neji's chest. Neji's grimaced at the sharp pain, and he could feel his warm blood slowly spilling onto Sasuke's hand. His vision started to turn hazy and darken, Sasuke's tight grip still on his throat.
Then in a flash, he was gone. Neji coughed, gathering as much air into his lungs as possible. If it wasn't for his painful throat and his bleeding chest, Neji would never have guessed that Sasuke was here. Looking down at the kunai still embedded in his chest, he furrowed his brow. It wasn't that deep a wound; it didn't pierce his lung or his heart. Though, he wasn't the only one who wondered why Sasuke left him alive when he could've easily killed him.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AN: Awww I don't like this chapter…I don't think I wrote it very well, especially the end. I didn't know how to end the chapter…I still don't but oh well. I supposed that last chapter wasn't all that great, didn't get as many reviews for it. Too bad, I guess I shouldn't have written it. But this chapter gets us a little bit back on track. I hope you guys like it, at least a little. I know the Neji and Sasuke thing was kinda bad, but I just couldn't kill Neji off and I'm not good at fighting scenes so I just had Sasuke stab him, hope you guys are cool with that. Anyways, please keep givin' me so lovin' with those reviews. Love you guys, see ya next chapter. Ja ne!