Notes:
General note to all about the last chapter: Since I've had a few comments about it I want to explain what I was getting at. I wasn't trying to make it seem like Luke didn't care but that there was so much to care about that he had to focus on one thing at a time. I was trying to make it apparent that the image in Luke's mind was the last moment he saw Lorelai: bleeding, unconconscious. It's not that he doesn't care about his children because he specifically asked about his daughter, it's just that he needs to make it clear to himself that Lorelai's still alive before he deals with what may be going on with his children. Luke's always been a deal with one thing at a time kind of person, at least it seems to me. I've already insinuated a few times that Luke is excited to be a father and expect that to come up again in the next few chapters. I think either way I had him go, whether he went to see the twins first or Lorelai first I would have gotten a few comments, so I wanted to clear that up.
Robinpoppins: Haha, I totally remember Jack is Back. I understand the whole no time to review thing, I just noticed I hadn't heard from you in awhile and thought I'd see if you were still reading. I agree Emily and Richard should be there.
Dreams-of-Oompa-Loompas: Wow, I can't believe you read the whole thing in one day! Jess left because it was SL dictated and because he left on the show as well. I've said a few times that Rory's SL will basically follow along with the show, therefore why she was dating Dean in the beginning and then Jess and eventually Logan. But I've also said before that Jess will be back, not anytime in the next few chapters, but he did come back on the show and he will be back in this story. I personally have no feelings on who Rory should be with on the show be it Jess, Dean, Logan or some random guy off the street so that is why I am chosing to have her with the same guys she was with on the show, thus who she is with is predetermined by ASP.
Rachel: Wow, another one who read all 55 chapters in one sitting! You cracked me up with your thing about your face pressed against the computer screen. I'm glad you got into the story.
Ele309 - It was so sweet of you to review! Your English was fine, in fact if you hadn't reminded me that English is not your first language I wouldn't have remembered. I agree that it's also important to be able to imagine the characters in the situations, when I edit I actually try to picture/hear the story in my mind. I also agree that the whole April SL could have gone better on the show, Luke and Lorelai could have easily worked April into their lives without it being a big thing between them and it could have made them even closer rather than what actually happened. I too like the interaction between Lorelai and Emily, it might not happen much in this story but I try to make them pretty good chapters when Emily comes in because she's such a big reason why Lorelai is the way she is. I love Mia too. I have no plans to bring her in on this story, but it's a thought. I always hoped that they would bring her back on GG for another episode. Thank you again for your long and wonderful review and as long as theirs readers like you then I'm just going to keep writing.
A special thanks to javajunkie101 on posting my 700th review!
Where oh where is smileyGGfan? I miss you!
Lorelai's Room in the ICU
Luke opens the door to Lorelai's room, allowing Rory to enter first. Rory walks over to Lorelai's bedside, taking her mom's seemingly lifeless hand in hers, relieved to find it still warm. She just stands there staring at Lorelai, a tear running down her cheek. Luke folds his arms over his chest as he stands near the door, not moving his eyes from Lorelai. Rory glances up at the heart monitor, the only reminder that somewhere underneath Lorelai's still alive.
"Mom," Rory whispers, as if she's trying to wake Lorelai up. She swallows, glancing over at Luke. "Do you want to come over here?" Luke shakes his head. Rory lowers her eyes to the ground and then back at Lorelai. "Mom, I'm here." She glances around looking for a chair, but the only one is near Luke.
Instead of getting the chair, Rory climbs up on the bed next to Lorelai. She places Lorelai's arm around her, nuzzling into her mother's shoulders as they used to when back at home. "Mom, we didn't get to do this on my birthday this year. I wasn't home at 4:03 in the morning so you could climb in my bed and tell me about the night I was born. The night you always said was the most amazing and painful night of your life." Rory takes Lorelai's hand between hers, looking down at it. "But I thought about it. I was going to come home and miss class just to spend that one moment with you." She sighs, another tear running down her cheek. "I should have." Rory looks back over at Lorelai.
"But next year, you'll be able to start that tradition with the twins. You'll tell them all about how you loved them so much that you almost… you almost." Rory pauses, choking back a sob. "You'll tell them that they were born just after it became the New Year because this year was going to be different. You were going to have everything this year, a husband, twins, a step daughter, and me. You were going to open an inn. It was going to be the best year of your life. It's still going to be." Rory kisses Lorelai's cheek, nuzzling back in again.
"Mom, you have to wake up. You have to be okay. I'm going to be selfish for now and demand it because I can't do it without you. I'm not as strong as you, you've always be strong enough for the both of us. Remember how long I clung to you when you tried to leave Yale? You have to wake up. I would be nothing without you." Rory lifts her head, staring at her mother's face. She leans in and kisses Lorelai again. "I love you Mom." She sighs and then glances over at Luke, who hasn't moved and she knows he won't until she gives him time alone with her mother. She kisses Lorelai one last time and then climbs off of the bed. Then she walks over to Luke, touching his arm.
"I'm going to go see the twins, maybe call April or something. You'll meet me over there?" Rory asks. Luke nods, not breaking his gaze. She stands on her tiptoes and kisses Luke's cheek. Then she gives his arm a squeeze and walks out, leaving Luke alone in the room with Lorelai.
Luke walks up to the end of the bed, his hands settling on the rails as he stares at Lorelai. He takes a deep breath, gathering his strength. Then he walks over and picks up the chair and takes it over to the side of her bed. He sits down in the chair, having not taken his eyes off of Lorelai once. His eyes brim with tears as he reaches up and grasps her hand tightly, bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing it.
"I'm sorry," he chokes out. "I'm sorry Lorelai, I should have been there. I should have closed the diner and been with you from the very moment you were having trouble. I should have been there with you today, holding you in my arms and telling you that we're getting through this together. Because I just...I want to be a father but I – I can't do it alone." Luke's voice is starting to shake as he continues to attempt to hold it together. He runs his thumb across his forehead as he tries to keep calm.
Luke stands and lies down on the bed next to her, pulling her into his arms and kissing the top of her head. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" he asks, leaning his head against hers. "That summer morning when you came into my diner, I fell in love. I had dated around and I dated a few after that, but you're the only one who ever really captured my heart. From the moment I laid eyes on you, no one could compete. I not only saw myself putting that ring on your finger, I saw us laying on the porch on sunny afternoons wrapped in each other's arms, I saw us dancing alone on the dance floor neither of us able to take our eyes off of each other, I saw us nestled in each other's arms in the morning when we woke up and making love before we went to sleep. I saw myself as your hero and you as my angel. I would protect you from anything and I – I haven't done a good job at that." Luke covers his face with his hand as he allows a few hidden tears to run down his cheeks. He leans over and kisses Lorelai's head again.
"I just sat back and let you beat yourself up over Max. I let Christopher hurt you. I let you drive yourself crazy with the inn and your parents until you were so worn out you could barely handle this pregnancy. And I wasn't there for you. And I'm sorry." He voice breaks as the tears finally breaks loose and he buries his face in her hair. "I'm so sorry Lorelai."
"I promise it won't be this way anymore. If you just wake up, just show me that beautiful smile, those amazing blue eyes, one more time, I promise I will be the man you should be with. The man who loves you and tells you that everyday. And I'll protect you from every harm that may come your way, even if it's just to protect you from yourself. I will do that. Because I love you. Because I am nothing without you." Luke turns on his side, resting an arm across Lorelai, nuzzling his face into her neck, breathing in the small scent of hers that hasn't been destroyed by the hospital smell. He lifts his face and kisses her lips softly, the tears falling where they may. "You are my everything," he whispers as he lies his head back down in the crook of her neck and closes his eyes, just being one with her.