TSoUI

This is how awesome I am. I dare you to say 'Kaza isn't really awesome', I dare you. This is the second to last chapter, so I'm going to really try and make you laugh here. (I'd also like a hug from at least five people before I finish this. I wanna go out with love.)

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Chapter Eight: Kissing Uchiha Itachi

"Somebody SCREAM!" The DJ demanded from the microphone as the participants of the fair looked up at him. Sasuke almost smiled.

"I'll scream!" He claimed, and proceeded to do just that. Itachi grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the freaked-out fellow fair-goers.

"No Sasuke, you don't scream when I'm around. Do you know why?" Itachi asked. Sasuke sighed.

"Because I'll embarrass you and screw up any of my chances of a second date." Sasuke sullenly replied. Itachi quirked his lips and patted his brother's head.

"Good little brother." Itachi congratulated. Sasuke rolled his eyes and continued to follow Itachi. At that very moment, Sakura was left alone with Sasori and Tobi as they sang to her sweet songs from the heart.

"U-G-L-Y! You ain't got no alibi!

You ugly!"

She cried for hours.

Itachi and Sasuke did not know about this horrifying predicament. Nor did they even care, due to the fact that they are cold unfeeling bastards who don't care about anything or anyone that they hurt on their quest for power.

Yes Sasuke, the author is still pissed at you for that.

And then the sun began setting, and the Uchiha brothers began to walk home. They were actually doing just fine, at least until several kunai sliced through the air towards them.

"What the hell-" Sasuke began, but was quickly thrown to the ground by Itachi. He looked up and glared at his brother.

"Look aniki, I hope you don't really like it rough like that!" Sasuke growled. Itachi glared at him and pulled out his own kunai to reflect the opposing ones. Sasuke did the same.

"Foolish little brother, you are the absolute last thing on my mind right now." Itachi retorted. Sasuke narrowed his eyes and quickened up the pace of his kunai.

"So you don't love me?" Sasuke asked darkly. Itachi rolled his eyes.

"Yes I do. You are my little brother, and you hold your place in my heart as such. Did you know I killed mom and dad for your sake?" Itachi responded. Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"So I'm just a quick toy to play with until you throw me away? Is that it? I thought you had more honor that that, aniki!" Sasuke snarled. Itachi stopped his kunai fighting for one second, just to flick Sasuke's forehead.

"Foolish little brother, we haven't even kissed yet, let alone had sex! And besides, this attempt at a relationship was your idea anyway." Itachi said. Sasuke thought about it and went "Oh yeeaah."

"Fool."

"Shut up, and who are we fighting against?"

"I believe it's the villagers."

"…mmkay…"

Sasuke and Itachi did that ninja thing and jumped up into the trees. The attackers stopped, wondering where the attackees went.

"I know I just saw those traitors somewhere!" One voice yelled out, distraught.

"The sexy one and the molested one, they were just here!" Another one argued. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.

"Who are they calling molested?" Sasuke whispered angrily. Itachi tapped his shoulder and pointed towards the curse seal.

"You forgot your 'Adventures with Renown Pedophile That Has a Giant Anaconda' didn't you?" Itachi asked. Sasuke frowned.

"I'd rather forget that more raucous part of my life." Sasuke said. Itachi nodded in agreement.

"I would too if I was in the same position." And then all was quiet, until they villagers left mumbling sadly about their foiled plans. Itachi and Sasuke poked their heads out of the tree and decided that tree jumping seemed safer than walking.

"Where have you guys been, un?" Was the first thing they heard before Deidara pulled them inside. "I've been worried sick, un!"

Sasuke twitched his eye and stalked upstairs to his room. Deidara looked at Itachi with a one-eyed stare that demanded answers.

"He wanted to know how I really felt about him, so I told him." Itachi said with no hints of remorse for almost breaking his younger brother's heart.

And if he did know, he probably wouldn't care.

"You are so blunt, un! Don't you know that Sasuke is a whiner, un?" Deidara asked haughtily. Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Yes I do actually. But, how do you know?" Itachi asked warily. Deidara looked sheepish.

"Oh, Naruto told me, un."

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In Sasuke's Dark, Lonely, Emo-esque Room

"I should've known. How could I be so stupid! He could never love me…" Sasuke angsted in his room sprawled on his bed, running his index finger over a single-edge razor.

This is exactly how Naruto found him.

Naruto eyed the razor warily before stepping towards Sasuke slowly.

"Sasuke, how about you give me that razor?" He attempted to persuade Sasuke, yet only got a glare in exchange for his troubles.

"You want it so much? Take it." Sasuke snarled, throwing the razor with deadly precision at Naruto. The blonde teen realized what was happening and jumped out the way before some major damage was made. The razor stabbed into the wall and Naruto let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"Hereupon, my fears are alleviated." He mumbled to himself quietly. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Where did that come from?" He asked. Naruto shrugged.

"I really don't know, I just remember laughing at it somewhere." Naruto answered. Sasuke blinked.

"Strange."

"Yeah."

And then an awkward silence occurred. Naruto fidgeted around before finally opening his mouth to talk.

"Look Sasuke, I know I haven't really been that good of a best friend lately-"

"Damn straight." Sasuke interrupted

"Shut up! I'm trying to express my feelings here! Okay, and I'm very sorry for that-"

"Sorry doesn't cut it Kyuubi-brat." Sasuke snarled, interrupting Naruto again.

"Okay Sasuke, that's nice, but can I please continue?" Naruto asked calmly. Sasuke narrowed his eyes and nodded.

"All right, so I apologize for leaving you to the devices and plans of various others. I was so happy at finding a kindred spirit, that you slipped my mind, and I wanna make up for that, y'know?" Naruto finished, gleeful that Sasuke quit interrupting him. Said raven-haired teen looked pensive before staring in Naruto's eyes.

"Naruto, do you realize that when we were doing your plans, I got injured three times, cursed out once, and I now have to wear make-up at indecent intervals of time?" Sasuke asked calmly. Naruto smiled weakly.

"Yeah, about that… You see-"

"Those were the ones I liked the most, amazingly." Sasuke interrupted once more. Naruto blinked at him and found Sasuke smirking at him (or at least he thought Sasuke was, cuz' the room was pretty dark).

"Naruto, I need you to help me kiss Itachi." Naruto grinned.

"Consider it done Sasuke!" And then Naruto began to plot, and plot he did.

"Alright Sasuke, here's the plan."

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THAT NIGHT (Ooooh, can't you just taste the suspense?)

Sasuke crept down the hall to his brother's room. It was well past midnight and he was sure that the day's activities wore Itachi out. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he wondered where Fabio was.

And somewhere in his mind, an indignant voice yelled "It's HIDAN!"

But anyway, Sasuke slinked into his brother's room silently, making sure that not a sound was made as he crawled to the slumbering body on the futon. Now was his chance of a lifetime! And he was going to take it, by gosh he would.

Sasuke hovered over Itachi's sleeping face for five seconds before lowering his lips.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Holy crap!" Sasuke squeaked in horror. Itachi sighed.

"You talk about my honor, and you were about to rape me." Itachi commented. Sasuke sputtered.

"I was NOT about to rape you! That is a ridiculous accusation and I shall not stand for it!" Sasuke argued. Itachi ran a hand through his hair.

"What were you trying to do then? Kiss me?" Itachi asked with the bubbling feeling starting up inside him again. Sasuke blushed, and Itachi looked incredulous.

"You were seriously trying to kiss me?" Sasuke nodded. Itachi smacked his forehead with his hand.

"You are going to be the death of me, foolish little brother." Itachi said, sighing. Sasuke nodded again and moved up to leave.

But a hand gripped his arm and pulled him down.

And the next thing Sasuke felt were soft lips touching his own.

And the next thing that occurred can only be described as some hardcore making out between two brothers and to write how 'Sasuke thrust his tongue into his brother's hot, wet cavern' is too much like writing a lemon and you'll just have to imagine how hardcore it was.

And believe me, it was pretty hardcore.

After the kiss, Sasuke almost swooned with happiness, the only thing stopping him being Itachi's grip. Sasuke at that time decided to look and see how Itachi was faring, and was met with a smirk.

"Aniki?" Sasuke asked nervously, not liking the look in Itachi's red eyes.

"You know, foolish little brother, you aren't a bad kisser…"

END Chapter

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I hope you are satisfied. I'm not; I don't think it was funny enough. But enough about that, I really want hugs! Not glomps or anything like that, but hugs! I promise I'll end it with a bang, if I get hugs. (Kativa-chan already gives me hugs, so she automatically counts.)

In The Next Chapter: I bet you really wanna know, don't you?