My hands were shaking, my breath was short, and all the saliva in my mouth seemed to dry in an instant.

Why am I so nervous?

I stared down at Charlie with his uniform on, and more wrinkles on his face than I remembered. We walked to the kitchen table in silence, both of us knowing what was about to be said. Twenty minutes passed by, with the fog of our future conversation looming over our heads. After we were finished eating our dinner, Charlie stepped in the break the silence.

"Bella, I need to talk to you about something."

"What?" I had answered too quickly, with a bit of frustration in my tone. I saw Charlie's face take on a whole different emotion that I was not used to seeing on his tired face. It was an expression of concern and unwavering authority. He gave me a long hard stare, not sure of how to start, and folded his rough hands together in a pile.

Oh god.

I had been holding my breath, waiting for the tirade to begin, when I suddenly felt light headed and was forced to take a jagged breath of air. Studying me closely, Charlie finally spoke.

"Bella…I would like to talk about you and Edward…and your relationship with him…"

"Okay." my voice was involuntarily raspy, so I cleared my throat.

"Well, Bella… I know that you really like this Cullen boy, and I've noticed that you have been spending a lot of time with him lately…"

"and…" I beckoned him to go on.

"and… I just don't want you two moving too fast…"

"Dad-"

"no Bella, let me finish. I know how young boys think, especially these kinds of boys. Edward is a good looking guy, and I'm sure he's more experienced than he lets on. And I'm sure he's told you everything in the book…about how he won't push you… but I know how boys think Bella, I was one of them. All these guys only have one thing of their mind… hormones racing…Bella do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

I was trying so hard to suppress my laughter, but unsuccessfully let out a slight giggle. Charlie looked up from his hands then, that he had intently been staring at through his little speech, and gave me a small glare.

"Bella, I'm talking about…making love…sex."

That pushed me over the edge. I was full on cackling now, my head in my hands trying to get a hold of myself. When I finally calmed down, I took a deep breath, letting the red in my cheeks dissolve, and said in all seriousness,

"Dad… believe me…Edward and I…" he didn't let me finish.

"You already had sex! I'm going to kill him!" the wrinkles in his face seemed to grow and stretch revealing the monster that was Charlie's anger.

"NO!" I said quickly.

I said the first thing that came to mind… and it was completely true.

"We can't!"

"What?" Charlie's expression changed from furious to utterly confused in a matter of seconds. Rouge flooded back on my once normal cheeks.

Oh crap. Why did I say that? How can I fix this so he will understand?

I was frantic and quite frankly didn't know what the hell I was saying. All I knew is that I had to make Charlie not want to kill Edward… and explain to him why we can't.

"Uh… dad …" I was panicking for words.

Say something, anything!

"dad, Edward has this problem! Uh…er… he can't… I mean, he can't."

"oh…" Charlie sighed, realizing what I was trying to say. He seemed to be relieved, therefore slouching in his chair in a more comfortable position, like a dishonest school-boy. Then his brow furrowed,

"But he's so young." he seemed to ponder.

"uh… yeah, something his birth parents did to him I guess…" the words spilled out of my mouth.

A look of confusion swept his face, but diminished almost instantly when he remembered something. "hey the game's on!" He nearly knocked his chair over in excitement as he ran over to the television and plopped down on the couch.

I sighed, releasing the stress and anxiety of our conversation loose, and began to walk cautiously up the stairs to the safe haven of my room. I cracked open the door, and quickly peeked inside to see if Edward was there waiting for me to return. And to my surprise, he was, sitting quite contently on the edge of my bed, staring aimlessly out the window into the orange hazed sky. When I tip toed in, he turned around to produce gigantic grin. I took a step towards him, silence loomed in the air, except for a small distinctive growl.

In a flash I was in his iron arms, sitting in his lap on my bed. He knew I was extremely embarrassed at what I had said to Charlie, but still couldn't help himself. His eyes glowed with amusement, his lips in a tight smile, his hair messily falling over his forehead.

"So…you think I can't, do you?" rumbles of soft laughter escaped from his lips.

"Edward" just saying his name reminded me of what I had said. I tilted my head down as I said in an exaggerated whimper, "I'm so sorry."

He only laughed harder, his whole body shaking, as he gasped for unneeded air. He then flipped me over onto my back, him laying on top of me, his thumb rubbing the heat in my cheek.

"Because, I assure you, that I can." he gently let his head fall to my collar bone, brushing his icy lips against it, and trailing up to my jaw, planting kisses here and there, until he reached my mouth. He lifted his head up to cast me a loving gaze, when I took his face in my hands and lowered him to my ready, passionate lips. I kissed him hard, knowing it would send him over the inevitable edge our relationship had become. I felt his body stiffen as I embraced his body closer, crushing it into mine. I let out a sigh as I parted my lips, and planted them on the stone figure that he had become. I knew he was trying to resist the smell of my blood, and one more of my moves would make it that much harder for him not to. I knew what I was doing and I was ready. I had thought about it long and hard, and every time I weighed the pros and cons, my answer always came out the same. I want to be like Edward, I want to be with Edward until the end of eternity.

Faster than my eyes could adjust, he was off me, on the other side of the room. I heard growls of frustration and hurt. He had his back toward me, but I could tell he was sobbing waterless tears. It took only a moment for his mood to swing. Abruptly he was in front on me, standing cautiously a short distance from the bed. He was scowling at me from under his lashes, an evil stare I had only seen once before…aimed at James. And then his words flowed so swiftly, I tried hard to keep up.

"Bella what the hell were you thinking! Do you know what I could have done to you just now! I could have killed you! I could have robbed you of your sweet life! I almost did Bella! I almost couldn't stop…" he was shaking again, but not from sadness this time, from pure and utter fury.

"Edward, I know!" I screamed at him, wanting him to understand how obsessed and in love with him I am.

He gazed at me now, all hatred dissipated, only now with love, and hurt.

"Damn it Edward. I don't know how many times I have to say this, but I would trade everything that I have in this world, if it would mean one more second with you," I threw myself on my stomach, burying my head into my arms, weeping tears that I had built up for this moment. "you are the only thing I have worth living for. If I were without you, if you left me… I would kill myself. You are the only thing in my life that matters. I want to be with you…forever. Not just until I die someday…forever!"

Gasping for air and shaking with anger, I glanced at him, hoping he would understand… and he did.

"do it Edward. Change me, for us."

"Bella, I don't think, I can't … no"

Now was my chance, he was on the fence with his decision, if I was going to win this argument, it had to be now.

"Edward, I want to be able to touch you." I reached out to him, grazing my fingers against his hand. He was suddenly at my side, rubbing circles on my back. His lips twitched into a tiny frown.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I have never been so sure about anything in my entire life." I stated with confidence.

He pressed out a tiny sigh of defeat.

"Okay."