-1Alright, so here it is. Chapter 3. Thank you so much to the people who have reviewed. That means a lot to me! I love that you have enjoyed it so far and I love the feedback. Keep it up! I have an outline of what I want to happen in every chapter (up to chapter 10. End of 5th year hopefully coming next chapter. I was going to have it be this one, but things got away with me. I still haven't gotten past Christmas Break, but I am already in love with this chapter, so I hope you all like it too!)

Disclaimer: As always: I'm not J.K. Rowling. The main characters in these stories are based on her wonderful fiction of Harry Potter. Anything you recognize would be hers, and anything you don't could very possibly be the workings of my own imagination. Scary huh?

The World Isn't Really Perfect

Best Friends Make the Worst Enemies

December 19: Day before Christmas Holiday

Sirius Black was lagging behind his friends as they were sneaking down to the kitchens. He paused shortly to pick up a chocolate frog that had fallen from his pocket and was proceeding to hop around. He called for them to go on and he'd meet them there as he turned to chase it down the hall. No one just left good chocolate for no reason. As he went further down an arm grabbed him and pulled in into a dark unused room. He tightened immediately but relaxed when he thought it was James just pulling a prank on him. Turning around he saw who it was. Regulas, his half loved, half hated brother. He jerked his arm away and glared at him.

"What do you want? You can't have anything more you possibly want to say to me."

Regulas smiled, but it was more sinister than cheerful. "Don't you want to talk to your baby brother? And here I thought family connections might actually mean something to you."

Sirius felt sick as he thought of his family and wanted to be out of there and with his friends, where he could quickly forget about this little meeting. He started to walk off without saying anything, but Regulas put is wand out in front of him.

"You didn't think that I would bring you in here just for me, did you? Brother." He spit on the ground after the use of the word brother and Sirius glared at him.

"What do you want, Reggie." He stressed the nick name he knew he hated.

Regulas glared back at him and said lumos making the room light up and letting Sirius know that he wasn't alone. Dozens of Slytherin's that he had grown up were in the room, old friends and family members.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "A bit of an old reunion. Can't wait for the party favors."

Regulas chuckled softly. "No favors here."

Standing up straighter, as if trying to show that he was the tallest in the room as well as the most dignified, Sirius looked everyone straight in the eye. A few couldn't hold his gaze. "So what is this fine meeting all about. It must have taken quite a bit of effort to get everyone to leave they're important duties the day before break."

His cousin Belatrix stepped forward and glared at him. "We're giving you one last chance."

Sirius looked at her blankly. She always was the blunt one, saying and doing whatever it was that popped into her head no matter what the consequences may be. They usually ended up being in her favor, but mostly because she was too intimidating to stand up against. Her and Sirius had always had issues over that fact. He wasn't one to back down.

Regulas chimed in. "Mother has rethought her position and is willing to let you back into the home on certain conditions."

At that Sirius started laughing. "Oh you must want me to come home so badly then. The wayward heir comes back and retakes his place as head of the Black family. I suppose it does have a good ring to it."

"I don't care what you do with yourself. I'd be perfectly comfortable with never thinking again of you. But Mother wishes it and---"

"And your her little dog, always doing as she wishes. So it wouldn't be honorable not to do as she asks."

Regulas glared at him and tightened his hands into fist, trying to gain self control.

Sirius, seeing that he had an advantage, pressed forward recklessly. "You can tell that bitch that there is nothing she could say or do to tempt me to enter that hell-hole you call home.

Belatrix walked forward and slapped him, hard. "You will not speak of my family that way. To think that a Black has sunken so low."

He glared at her dangerously. "You bring me in here, knowing full well how I feel, and expect me to behave in anyway that you see fit. I thought I was rid of you all."

Severus walked up to him, slowly. "Let me talk to him."

The group all looked at him, including Sirius.

"This is no concern of yours, Severus. This is a family matter now." Regulas stated, still wanting to trash Sirius for his earlier statements.

"Let me talk to him." Severus said again.

"Fine." Regulas pushed past everyone else and started to leave the room. "He always did like you better."

Seeing that Regulas was leaving, everyone trailed out slowly. Belatrix as last and glared at Severus and Sirius. "See that you do your duty."

Severus glared back at her, even though he was almost sure that she was talking to Sirius. "I always do."

Nodding stiffly she left the room. Sirius smirked at Severus and started to talk out of the room. "Not that I wouldn't just love a chat, I'm off."

Severus grabbed his arm and pushed him into one of the chairs. "You will do no such thing."

Sirius got up slowly and dusted himself off. "Look, Snivelus, I have a quota for how many times a year I can stand talking to idiots, and it's been more than full today. So if you don't mind, I am going to walk of this room and continue on with my life. I will not look back and I will never think of this day again. I suggest you do the same."

He started to leave, and this time Severus didn't grab him.

"It's already started. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. We're offering you a chance of freedom and victory here. Don't tell me your stupid enough not to take it."

Sirius stopped but didn't turn around. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Severus laughed shortly. "Of course you do. You're not the idiot your friends and you seem to think you are. You're worthy of great things. You have a heritage to live up to, Sirius. You can't honestly say that you'd rather die protecting mudbloods."

"Don't you ever say that in front of me again." Sirius said tersely and turned around. "Don't you talk about what I could do with my life and my friends in that manner."

"So you can dish out insults but you can't take them. Interesting."

Sirius looked at him coldly but refused to say anything.

"Sirius, we made promises to each other. Promises of glory; of change. You couldn't have changed so much that you can't want the same things. The Dark Lord can give those things to you. Come with us."

Sirius had tried to push back the person he had been. He had changed so much while he was Hogwarts. Seen so much. He didn't want to remember the kind of person he'd been as a child; the kind of things he had seen and done. "I want nothing to do with any of that."

"I'm offering you a chance. It may be the only offer you get."

"Good. I wouldn't want to have to refuse again."

They stood there in the dingy room for a few moments, just staring at each other, either one wanting to back down.

"This is your one chance, Sirius. A chance to get back everything that has been taken away from you. Take it. I swear if you don't you will regret the life that is ahead of you."

Sirius laughed shortly. "I'd rather have that life then the one your offering me." He started out the door again and didn't turn as he said "Goodbye, Snape."

The door shut and Severus glared at it for a few minutes before he finally said, "And so it begins."

That evening, Gryffindor Common Room

Lily and Remus were sitting next to each other, discussing something or other, and James was glaring at them. He didn't think they were dating. They didn't act as though they were...although he'd never seen either of them in a relationship so he wasn't sure how they would act if they actually were. That thought made him slink further down into his chair and sulk more.

Sirius looked over at him and laughed. "What's the matter mate? Chels decide she didn't want to date you?"

"Ha ha very funny." James ruffled his hair in the way he had realized girls liked because it reminded them that he played quidditch. "I could get any girl I wanted in this school. Chels is practically throwing herself at me."

Laughing Sirius almost threw an exploding snap at him from his game with Jess and Peter. Jess rolled her eyes at him.

"You're getting rather conceited, Jamie."

James sunk deeper into his chair and glared at her. "I am not."

Sirius chuckled and looked over at Jess. "He's just in a right foul mood. He'll be his chipper self after Christmas."

James continued to stare at Lily and Remus as they were chatting and laughing, close together. Suddenly he grinned. There was no way he was going to sit here and be miserable about Lily when she wasn't miserable about him.

"Hey, Lily." He said loudly, trying to get her attention.

She stiffened at hearing him speak and then continued talking to Remus, as if nothing had happened.

James threw a pillow in her direction. "Oy, Evans. Suddenly gone deaf?"

Turning around she raised one eyebrow at him, trying to make him feel like an idiot, but it really only made her look a bit drunk. "Not deaf. It's called selective hearing."

"There's a Hogsmeade weekend a bit after we get back from Christmas holiday. Wanna go with me?"

Everyone looked at James shocked, but no one more so than Lily. "Excuse me?"

He grinned. Perfect. "Must be that selective hearing of yours. I'm asking you out. Hogsmeade. Me and you."

She glared at him. "I'm not an idiot, Potter."

"Oh, my mistake." He said somewhat innocently.

Lily turned around and tried to resume her conversation with Remus, but he was suddenly quiet and not in a very talkative mood.

"So what do you say Evans? You, me, a blanket under the stars. Could be quite...cozy."

Sirius laughed a bit, until Kristen hit him hard in the shoulder from where she was sitting.

Keeping her back toward him Lily answered, "I'm not really interested. No go for me."

"I guess I should have assumed you'd have other plans. After finding out what kind of person you really are." He was hoping that with a comment like that she'd turn around and her eyes would be shinning and she'd have slight color in her cheeks. He loved when she looked like that. It made her look slightly wild and completely unattainable, and he liked the thought of no one being able to have her. It was also a look that she only gave him. Something that was theirs alone.

"James Potter I do not know what your problem is, but I think you better sort yourself out before you talk to her again." Jess said from where she sat on the floor.

Lily looked over at her and smiled, instead of looking at James. He'd made himself out to be a complete prat for nothing.

He made himself shrug, instead of sigh. At least he had self control still. "It was all in fun. I'm sorry if the incomparable Lily Evans can't take a joke."

Sirius looked over at him and made a sign as if it was time to stop. James just went back to sulking in his chair.

Lily hadn't said a word since, and was looking at Remus, trying to get him to say something, but he'd started to read a book.

Blast that James Potter.

12:05 am 20th of December---8 hours till train leaves

Everyone had left the common room except for Lily and Remus. She was usually completely zonked out by this point, but she had been determined to talk to Remus.

"What was that about?" She asked him, sharper than she meant to.

"What?" He didn't want to talk about this.

"Remus, you have spoken to me since...he made that stupid comment."

Remus didn't say anything, just continued to look at the book that he was reading.

"What? Why don't you want to talk about it?" Lily stood up, starting to get frustrated.

"Did you ever think that there are some things that I don't want to talk about, and that maybe James is one of them?" He said softly, but in a tone Lily hadn't heard before.

She looked over at him, and felt slightly wounded. She didn't want to hurt him. She'd never thought that talking about James would...but maybe she was an idiot...maybe he did like her. They had gotten rather close this past week, but she had never known if it was more of a friendly way or something more. More confusing was she wasn't sure which way she wanted it to be.

Sighing she sat down next to him. "I'm sorry. I know that I talk a lot about things that probably aren't the most welcoming."

"I didn't say that to make you upset. I said it so that you could understand."

They sat quietly for a moment. "Remus, you know that if you want to talk to me about anything, you can. Right? I don't want this to be a me constantly running to you one-sided mess. That isn't fair to either of us."

"Lil, I know. But, there are some things I can't talk about. You understand, right?"

"Sure." She answered, even though she wasn't sure she did.

"I...I don't like when he treats you like that." He'd wanted to say 'I don't like that he asked you out.' but didn't feel as if he had that right.

Lily laughed and sat closer to him. "I don't either. At least we're agreed on that." He didn't say anything and she laughed a bit more. "Look at us. Me actually alright that he's a prat and you upset about it. When did we switch places?"

Remus laughed a bit, but he wasn't really in the mood. Things were getting complicated. He liked being around Lily, but wasn't sure if he wanted things to go further than they were. What would James think? He owed him so much. At the same time, he didn't care. He was happy when he was around he, and in a way he didn't even admit to himself he liked having something, just for once, that James didn't have.

"You've gotten awfully serious." Lily looked up at him. "What are you thinking about?"

"How glad I am tests are over and I don't have to think of them again until June."

"Thank goodness. I think I did really well on most of them. Those study sessions with Slughorn really helped, but I wish he'd stop pairing me up with Severus. I hate the way he looks at me."

"People have a hard time changing the way they were raised. You remember Sirius the first year."

Lily laughed remembering. "He was so upset to be put into Gryffindor. I remember that he wouldn't talk to anyone for a week, but James...Potter finally got to him."

"He eventually gets to most people." He sounded resigned.

"Until you see the true him and realize that he's a jerk."

"Lily, you know he's really not."

"Remus, you keep saying that. But he treats me like I'm worse than a Slytherin half the time."

He didn't want to do this. "He fancies you."

Lily looked at him blankly, going white. "No. He doesn't."

"Believe whatever is easiest for you." He shrugged. "But it's true."

"You don't treat people you fancy like that."

Remus had a slow grin and cocked his head as he looked down at her "How do you treat people you like?"

Blushing she was going to not say anything at all, but decided it was better to be reckless for once and get things over with. "Like this." And she leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek.

Remus grinned again and looked down at her. "Hmm...yeah I can see how he doesn't really do that."

Lily laughed softly and rested her head on his shoulder, thankful that he hadn't made that very awkward. Remus put his hand under her chin and moved her head softly so he was looking at her. Looking into her eyes, and then at her lips, and then back again. Lily looked down shyly, but then back at him and bit her lip softly.

"I think I'm going to kiss you." He stated softly.

"I think I'm going to let you." She answered in the same tone, smiling a bit.

He bent down and brushed his lips against hers softly and then added more pressure. His arm slid down around her waist and he pulled her a bit closer. Lily moved her arm up his and then put her hand around his neck, playing softly with the hairs on the nape. He trailed little kisses on her cheek and kissed her softly by her ear, whispering "I think that was worth it."

Lily just smiled softly. She didn't know what to say...

Girls Dorm Room

She couldn't sleep. All she could do was think about kissing Remus. It wasn't what she had expected. Not that she had expected fireworks, but she had expected something. It had felt nice, but she'd wanted it to feel...more. She didn't really have much to compare it too, and the only thing she really could wasn't a valid source and wasn't something she wanted to think about.

Maybe you just don't know what you're supposed to feel. You've never really kissed a boy before. It was probably just fine.

Just fine? You're willing to settle with 'just fine'?

I like Remus. He's a great guy.

So are Sirius and Peter for that matter, but you don't kissing them.

Remus means a lot to me.

Yeah, that's what you're picking this apart instead of just being happy that it happened.

I am happy that it happened...

Then why are you in analytical mode? Why are you talking to yourself again.

I'm not talking to myself...I'm...I'm debating whether that was a good decision.

Was it?

...I don't know

You were more excited when you were 13 than you are now.

I don't want to think about that.

You already are.

I was 13. Anything is exciting to a 13 year old. Besides that doesn't count. It was two curious kids trying to...figure things out.

But you enjoyed it more than you've enjoyed this.

What are you going on about? This is not helping!

You just don't want to admit things to yourself.

Lily shut her eyes tightly and ran her hands through her hair. She should be happy, she should be excited, but all she could think about was James...

Early Spring 1974, 3rd Year

James and Lily were crouched under his invisibility cloak under a tree close to the lake. They'd snuck out of Hogwarts past curfew and were trying not to be seen, but wanted to catch a glance at the giant squid. There was a rumor that it sometimes came out on full moons. James seemed upset about something, but didn't want to discuss. They'd had a few arguments lately and James was keeping a secret, she could tell. She could also tell that he didn't want to talk about it and there was no use trying to get James Potter to talk about something he didn't want to talk about.

They sat there in silence for about thirty minutes before the water rippled. Nothing happened after that though. Lily shivered a bit, because it was chilly and James looked over at her.

"Cold?"

She smiled. "Yeah, well a thin cloak that makes you see through isn't really the best protector from March evenings."

He moved closer and put his arm around her. She instantly was warmer and was sure that she was blushing so she couldn't look at him.

"Is that better?"

"Oh...yeah. It's fine...thanks."

He grinned and rubbed her bare arm a little. "You'll warm up in no time. Then we'll see the squid and everyone will be so jealous that we've actually seen it."

"Sure." She tired not to think about his arm, and tried to concentrate on the matter at hand. "Sirius will be so mad you didn't invite him."

"What makes you think I didn't?" James grinned back at her.

"Well, the fact that Sirius isn't here and that water isn't on us right now is a pretty good indication that he doesn't know we're here."

They were quiet again and James finally said. "I actually wanted to be here...with you."

Lily was sure she was blushing but didn't want to read to much into what he said. "Thanks. I've missed being with you guys lately."

"Yeah...sorry about that. Things are just getting complicated."

"Oh. Well, yeah. I understand." She really didn't.

"You know, Sirius kissed Miranda yesterday."

She looked at him and was shocked. "What? And she let him?"

"Yeah. I think they're going together now."

"Ugh. Gross."

"You think that's gross?" James ask her, looking at her sideways.

"I just don't want a boyfriend right now. My Dad says I don't need a boy to tie me down. That there's time for that later."

James laughed. "That sounds like your Dad."

"I think he's scared that I'm going to let you take advantage of me."

"Are you?" He asked grinning.

"James!" She pushed him softly and blushed again.

"You know, you're really pretty when you blush. You face goes all pink and matches your hair beautifully."

She was sure she was blushing horribly and pushed him again. "You're awful."

He chuckled and grinned. She decided then and there that she wanted to marry someone who could grin and make her stomach clench up. "So are you going to let me take advantage of you."

"You're the only person I would." She said sarcastically.

"Good." Then he looked at her and started moving closer.

She pushed back a bit, working to stay under the cloak. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to kiss you." He stated like she was an idiot. "Now stop moving."

He leaned in and this time she stayed right where she was. He wasn't smooth, and she was sure she wasn't either. She kept her hands on the grass to steady her, and James had both of his hands on her shoulder, as if to steady himself or to make sure she stayed where she was supposed to. It was awkward and probably not at all romantic to anyone else, but James Potter kissed Lily Evans. It was only once, and lasted probably less than five seconds, but Lily was sure that she had fallen in love with him then and there.

He pulled away and grinned. "There. Now Sirius can't say he's done something I haven't."

Lily pushed him away. "Thanks. I feel very special."

He put his arm around her shoulder and looked at her. He was grinning and his hair was messed up horribly. He was too skinny and too bony---he had a lot of growing up still to do, but she found him more handsome than any other boy in Hogwarts. "You are special. You always will be."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

And then he kissed her again. This one lasted a little bit longer

Back to Actual Reality

They had only kissed those two times, and just thinking about them made Lily blush again. This was definitely not right. She should be thinking about Remus. If she didn't like him she shouldn't have kissed him back, but she wasn't sure if she didn't like.

"I'm so confused." She said softly to herself. Jess, who was in the bed next to her, rolled over and grumbled in her sleep.

Lily got out of bed and went back into the common room, hoping maybe Remus was there but at the same time hoping she could be completely alone. She needed to get this worked out as quickly as possible, because she really didn't want to hurt Remus if she decided that she didn't feel the same way he did.

As she walked out into the room, she saw the fire was still burning and one candle was out. James was sitting in one of the chairs, reading. He looked up as he heard the noise and his eyes changed for surprise, to resignation, to something she couldn't read at all.

"Couldn't sleep, Evans?"

"No...not really."

She stood there at the bottom of the stairs, not wanting to go forward or back, but feeling completely stuck.

"I came down as soon as Remus came up. He was surely pleased about something." He was smirking at her, but it was one that reached his eyes and he seemed bitter about something.

"Oh. Well, that's nice I guess. He has a lot to be unhappy about it's always good when you can be cheerful about something."

"Oh get off it. You're together. Just say it so that you can get it over with. Slinking around like it's some dirty secret. Are you really that ashamed of him?"

"I am not ashamed of any feelings that I may or may not have towards Remus. He's a good friend." She looked at him and raised her chin defiantly. "The best I've ever had."

James hardened his eyes and glared. "Yeah, well I'm sure you're not the best he's ever had."

She gasped as if he'd hit her.

"You can't think you're the only girl he's kissed. He's sixteen. Everyone gets curious some time or another."

She was pretty sure she wasn't the first. He didn't kiss her with any awkwardness, it had been smooth and comfortable. It'd been better than her few kisses with James, they just hadn't made her whole body flare up like his had.

"You're a prick, Potter. If you think for one minute that that actually matters to me you never knew me at all."

"Obviously I didn't." He stood up and walked towards her and said softly. "But don't worry, I won't overestimate you again."

It was too late and she hadn't prepared for an attack like this. She felt completely defeated. "Go to hell." Was the only proper reply she could think of.

"I'm sure I will." He grinned and she was upset that she'd ever found that grin appealing. "But don't worry. I won't compare notes with Remus. I'm sure you wouldn't add up anyway."

And he brushed past her and walked up the stairs.

He felt like a prick. These attacks were hardly ever planned, but he'd been so upset when Remus had walked into the dorm quietly, as if nothing had happened. But he'd been smiling. James recognized it because he'd seen it on his face two years ago. The excited smile of possibilities that only Lily Evans could give you. Sirius glanced up quickly, had said hello, then looked up again.

"Bloody hell, you kissed her."

Remus had smiled and shrugged. Congratulations had gone around the room, but James hadn't been able to say anything. He'd spend this year pretending that this gap between him and Lily was only temporary, that every promise they'd made to each other was really going to happen. But he'd seen the gap get wider and wider, and he's seen his hands be the ones stretching it. He just wasn't sure what to do to fix it. He couldn't apologize, and was fairly sure that if he'd tried now she wouldn't forgive him. He'd gone to far too many times, but had no way to go backwards and fix the things that he'd done to their friendship. If only he could blame Remus, but he couldn't. Remus deserved this chance. But he could wish it was with someone different. He could wish that Lily would look at him the way she looked at Remus.

He could wish for a lot of things.

Shorter than I had expected and it didn't go quite where I expected it to either, but I like it. So I really hope that you do as well. Plans for next chapter (that I can tell you about) is "Snapes Worst Memory" and the end of 5th year. Most likely the end of the Remus and Lily romance. Also, feel free to go to my MySpace. The plan is to post chapters as well as updates there. Link is: http/ PLEASE review and I hope that you enjoyed it. New chapter coming soon!