Notes:
Sorry this is a little late, but I spent some time away after finishing IWNU. I needed a little time off. But I'm back and on with the show...erg... fic...
LorLukealways - Haha, when you wrote "where in the world is Lorelai Gilmore" you totally had me singing the Carmen Sandiego song. I'm guessing you intended that. Hilarious.
javajunkie101 - Was it the point of the show to make us hate Anna? I mean, I know I personally am not a huge fan of the woman, but wasn't sure about everyone else.
The Cheshire Cat
Rory pulls up into a parking space facing the bed and breakfast. She turns off the car and sighs, the memory of the last time she and Lorelai stayed there still fresh in her mind. She grabs the bags sitting next to her and gets out of the car. Glancing around as she walks up to the inn, Rory considers what to do if she's wrong. But she knows her mother too well, she knows she's not wrong so she walks inside and up to the desk.
"Hi LaDonn," Rory says brightly to the blond woman behind the desk. LaDonn looks up at her with surprise.
"Oh I remember you. The little girl who hid up in her room with her mom. Are you still with that boyfriend?" LaDonn asks. Rory blushes, looking away.
"No… things didn't work out," Rory admits.
"Oh well, I have a nephew about your age. He's having his sixteenth birthday party next week," LaDann says sweetly. Rory looks nauseated.
"You think I'm sixteen?" Rory wrinkles her nose and then shakes it off. "Is my mom here?"
"Oh, yes, she's upstairs." Rory breathes a sigh of relief. "Here, let me show you where." LaDonn motions for Rory to follow her. As they walk up the stairs, Rory notices the cat on the third step.
"I see Sammy's still alive and well," Rory comments. LaDonn stops in her tracks and gives Rory a cold look.
"Sammy died last May," LaDonn tells Rory, who blushes, looking down.
"Oh, sorry," Rory apologizes, embarrassed at having brought it up. She glances down at the cat that shares a surprising resemblance to Sammy. "And who is this?"
"Morris." Rory raises her eyebrows still staring at the cat. "Morris the cat," Rory repeats. "Okay." She glances back up at LaDonn, who is still staring at her. "Good… name," Rory manages. LaDonn nods and walks up the rest of the stares. Rory glances back down at Moris. "Some help you are," she grumbles at Morris and then follows LaDonn up the stairs. They stand outside the door of the room that Rory and Lorelai stayed in last time.
"I thought you two liked the room so much last time that I gave your mother the same one," LaDonn says.
"Oh we did, we really did," Rory lies. LaDonn smiles.
"I knew it. After reading your comments in the book. They really spoke to me. I even had it stitched into a pillow." Rory raises an eyebrow, not exactly remembering what they wrote, but knowing it was something ridiculous. "You sure have a way with words."
"Oh, uh, thanks," Rory stammers. LaDonn smiles, touching Rory's elbow.
"Well I'll leave you to it, try to come down later, we have some fabulous events going on that I'm sure you two would just love."
"Oh we'll try," Rory says sarcastically, although LaDonn doesn't hear the sarcasm. LaDonn smiles and walks back down the stairs. "Of all the places to go," Rory mutters under her breath. She sighs, going over in her mind what she wants to say to Lorelai and then knocks on the door.
"I'm fine," Rory hears Lorelai call from inside the room. Rory rolls her eyes. She opens the door to find Lorelai lying on her back on the bed, her legs bent with her feet on the mattress and an arm thrown over her face. "I said I'm fine," Lorelai says, not looking to see that it's Rory who just walked in.
"And you would be a big fat liar," Rory states, closing the door behind her. Lorelai moves her arm from over her face and looks up at Rory. Reaching back and pressing her hand into the mattress, Lorelai sits up slightly. "Are we done with the hide and seek now?"
"Rory…" Lorelai says softly. Rory raises an eyebrow.
"Did you think I wouldn't find you?" Lorelai rolls her eyes, looking away.
"You should be in school."
"And you should be in Stars Hallow." Lorelai glares at Rory, who walks over to the side of the bed, kneeling on knee on the edge. "Mom, what happened? Why the Brooke Shields act?"
"It's not an act Rory," Lorelai replies simply. Rory finally sits down on the bed, curling her legs next to her.
"I know," Rory says. They gaze at each other a moment. "I brought you the prescription medication Luke had filled." Lorelai sighs, knowing that it has probably reached that point and nods.
"Thanks," she whispers. Rory hands Lorelai the bag. Lorelai opens it and pulls out two pill bottles and reads the directions. "I guess I should stop denying it then, huh?" Lorelai glances over at Rory with one eye.
"You should stop denying everything." Lorelai pushes herself up to a full seated cross-legged position, folding her arms over her chest.
"Chris called while you were there." Lorelai's mouth forms an 'O' but she doesn't reply. "He said this happened before, when I was born. He said you've just been denying it all this time." Lorelai looks down at her lap. Rory reaches out and lays a hand on Lorelai's shoulder.
"Mom, tell the truth."
"Okay, John O'Hurley, will the real Lorelai Gilmore please stand up," Lorelai jokes. She glances over at Rory, who's clearly not laughing. "Sorry," Lorelai whispers. She turns to face Rory, her legs still cross legged. Rory turns to face Lorelai fixing herself into the same position. Lorelai takes Rory's hands in hers.
"Mom, please." Lorelai nods.
"I never wanted you to find out. I didn't want you to think that I didn't love you."
"Mom, I-" Lorelai shakes her head, telling Rory to let her finish.
"I loved you from the moment they placed you in my arms, I really did. But I was messed up. I was 16. I hated my life. I hated my parents. I couldn't provide for you. And I had no one to depend on, not even your dad."
"He's not my dad," Rory insists. Lorelai nods, letting Rory's comment go by the wayside.
"For about two months after you were born, I spent entire days in bed crying and depressed. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to leave the house. The doctors said it was just hormones, that it would go away, but I just felt myself falling into a deep hole. I was afraid to hold you, to take care of you. I had no experience with kids. I thought I would break you. I thought you would hate me. I was just really confused."
"You were sixteen," Rory reminds her mom. "You're not Wonder Woman."
"No, but I like to imagine I am."
"Well you look like her," Rory notes. Lorelai nods, a hint of a smile on her lips.
"That I do," Lorelai agrees.
"So what happened?" Lorelai frowns, giving Rory's hands a quick squeeze.
"I walked into the nursery one afternoon and my mom was in there. Holding you. And then everything changed." Rory cocks her head, allowing Lorelai a chance to explain. "You were what motivated me to get better. I could see you, fifteen years in future, at your little deb party, prancing around in your jewels, hiding at the top of the staircase in tears. You would have hated that, at least, if you were going to be anything like me. You had to be saved from that. And I was your mother, I was the only thing to protect you from becoming Bunny Kensington, the newest member of the DAR." Rory giggles. Lorelai lets go of one of Rory's hands and cups Rory's cheek. "I loved you, Rory. You're the reason I'm who I am and where I am today." Rory smiles softly. She reaches up and takes Lorelai's hand off of her cheek.
"Thanks Mom, thanks for saving me," Rory says. Lorelai lets go of Rory, grasping her daughter's shoulders and pulling Rory to her. Rory wraps her arms around Lorelai. "You were always Wonder Woman to me."
"Well I hope Lynda Carter appreciates that," Lorelai jokes. Rory laughs. They let go of each other.
"Mom, you can get through it this time too. Take the medication. Let me help. Let Luke help." Rory gives Lorelai a pointed look.
"How is he?" Lorelai asks, an uneasy look on her face.
"He's worried about you," Rory responds. Lorelai nods knowingly. "He's really a trooper. He's taking care of everything: the twins, the Dragonfly, the diner." Lorelai huffs.
"And I thought he was Everyman." Lorelai winks.
"He really misses you," Rory tells Lorelai, who looks away. Lorelai pats Rory's arm and gets up off the bed. She picks up a pillow and waves it at Rory.
"Sat and forever am at work here," Lorelai reads off the pillow. She hands it to Rory, shaking her head, and walks over to the window. Rory smiles down at the pillow.
"It's better than satanic forces are at work here," Rory comments.
"Depends on who you're asking," Lorelai contends, glancing over her shoulder at Rory, who purses her lips, trying not to laugh. Lorelai smiles and looks back out the window. Rory places the pillow back where Lorelai picked it up from and looks over at her mother.
"Are you going to marry him?" Rory asks. Lorelai sighs, her arms crossed over her stomach.
"I don't – I don't know, Rory," Lorelai responds distantly. Rory rolls her eyes.
"You can't keep doing this! You're like Maggie Carpenter without the actual weddings!" Rory exclaims. She climbs off the bed and walks over to Lorelai, grabbing her mother's arm and turning Lorelai to face her. Lorelai slowly turns her face to look down at Rory. "He loves you. He's good to you. You can't do this to him."
"Rory…" Lorelai sighs.
"I don't want to think I raised a mother who can't say I love you," Rory insists, grasping Lorelai's arms. Lorelai presses her lips together.
"I know," Lorelai whispers. She shakes her head. "I don't know why it's so hard for me."
"Do you? Do you love him?" Lorelai takes a deep breath.
"I – I'm – I…" Lorelai bites her lower lip. "I think I might." A soft smile creeps over Rory's lips.
"Well take your time, think it over," Rory tells her mother. Lorelai nods. "All right, my work here is done. It's Monday. I've missed two classes because of you and I should get back to school. I brought you tacos from Hector's." Loreali grins. "Eat them. Take the medication. And come home when you're ready, hopefully sooner rather than later."
"You're such a good daughter, I don't deserve you."
"Well then be a good little girl and do what I told you and maybe, just maybe, I'll bring you some more tacos tomorrow," Rory promises.