Interruption

Don

I could cry. I really could. Some days, everything just sort of sails past and the pain is quick. Some days, it sinks in and hurts for a while. Some days...some days, it takes a few days, and the pain clings on to you like a baby clings to his mother. There are never days when it doesn't hurt. It's never easy to take. It's just that, some days, I guess we expect it, in a manner of speaking. As impossible as it sounds, it seems that sometimes, we're more prepared for it. If there were such things as good days, those would them. Well, today sure as hell isn't one of these days. Today is one of those days. The days were everything goes wrong. The days when it hits hardest and hurts most. Days when, on top of all this, you're let down by normally dependable people.

They said I should watch out. Pay attention to the signs. Truth is I have been watching the signs. I've been watching longer than they even realized something was happening. Certainly longer than he has, for he still hasn't notice anything's changed. Or at least, not that much. They've been threatening to take extreme action. I've warned him. Does he listen? Nope. Never does he heed my caution. He insists that he hasn't been slipping up. He tells me I'm lying when I accuse him of being consistently late. He won't hear of it when I tell him that he's running a risky game and is quickly losing. He won't believe that he's on thin ice and the ice is made up of his badge and his life. He just doesn't believe.

Where the hell is he, anyway? He's three hours late and, even for him, that's unusual. I see that his partner isn't here either. Probably kidnapped her or something. That's not right. Last time both he and a partner were this late, they were sleeping together and it was him and...OH MY GOD! No, calm down, calm down. He's not gonna do that. I know he won't. I swear to God that if he does, I strangle him with my bare hands. I'll...

"Captain?" a voice interrupts my mental rant. I look up to see Fin.

"Yeah?" His look is unreadable, as usual. Fin surprises me sometimes. He'll keep a straight face through the toughest of situations, but let a kid get involved and he turns into something completely different.

"Perp's lawyer is here to see you. Says she doesn't like the way we handled this and her client's suing for assault and harassment." We both know who the "we" is that she doesn't like. But like I said, he's late, again. To tell the truth, I was half-expecting this. I sigh and feel a headache coming on.

"...Okay. Send them in..."

"I told him to stop beating up the perps..."

"I know, we all have Fin."

"Where is he, anyway?"

"...Your guess is as good as mine..." Fin sort of smiles. He looks more worried than anything. I'm surprised, but then again, Fin is a bit unpredictable. He slowly walks toward the door, as if he's trying to delay the hell I've got coming. He turns back to me just as his hand touches the doorknob.

"You know, the guy had it coming," he simply states. I smile and nod.

"I know," I answer. He turns and walks out of my office.

Don

Well, I was right. His lawyer is absolutely fired up. I assume she is screaming about her client's injuries following Elliot's "interrogation." She is demanding his badge number and is threatening not only to sue him, but me for hiring him (even though I didn't, I inherited him when I took over SVU) and the state for "allowing such an animal to carry around a gun and a badge to justify his brutality." I only hear every other word because I'm not really listening to her. I'm thinking about how long it will before Elliot either shows or calls in sick. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's taking the day off to spend time with his kids. I hope so. They miss him, but he's been so caught up in himself, he doesn't have time for anyone. I'll bet that...

"Captain Cragen!" Ms. Reynolds sharp tone shatters my thoughts. "Are you listening to me?" I'm trying not to. Jesus, she sounds more like his mother than anything. I don't dare let these words pass my lips; I only think this, and I look up, I see my detectives snickering to themselves. Well, of course they can hear her, she speaking very loudly and my door isn't closed. Just then Casey walks into the squad room. Whew, talk about a life saver. John and Fin quickly fill her in. She rolls her eyes as she strides toward my office.

"Ms. Novak, to what do we owe this displeasure?" Reynolds sneers.

"Careful, Julia, your fangs are showing," Casey replies, smirking. Reynolds rolls her eyes and recants her rant about how her client was mistreated. Casey puts on a feigned look of interest.

"That's a very sad story, Julia." Casey still hasn't wiped the smirk off of her face. Reynolds is turning redder for every second Casey's expression remains unchanged. I can tell Casey is just getting started, especially after she rolls up her sleeves. Reynolds is beet red now, her client is sighing and squirming uncomfortably, and my detectives are still laughing.

"You're right, it is a sad story. Wait until the papers hear it!"

"Your client made a rather lewd remark about the detective partner..."

"So? He's got a right to say what he wants. It's called the first amendment..."

"Well, this partner has been in the hospital for the last six months in a comatose state. You can understand that the detective is a bit worried."

"That doesn't give him the right to harass my client!"

"From what I also recall, Detective Stabler struck out in self defense..."

"Self-defense?! Are you kidding me?! My handcuffed client, already traumatized from the harsh demeanor of Detective Stabler's personality, let's not forget he didn't know what he was in the police station for- the police violently snatched him off the street and plopped him in the interrogation room. They didn't tell him what he was under arrest for nor did they acquiesce when he begged for his lawyer. Now you're telling me that one of your armed detectives was fighting him in self-defense?!"

"...Yeah."

Suddenly the phone began to ring, interrupting their argument. A good thing too because Casey looked like she was gearing up for a round of WWF Smack down.

"Cragen," I answer.

"Captain!" a cracked voice answers. My eyes go wide and all conversation ceases as everyone notices.

"Elliot?" Everyone relaxes a bit.

"She's awake, Don! She's awake!"

TBC

next: confession