Luke's Diner
The diner is in slowing down for the mid-afternoon lull as Kirk walks in. "I don't even want to hear it," Luke grumbles at him. Kirk looks at him in shock.
"What? I didn't say anything!"
"You didn't have to, you're Kirk," Luke reasons. He gives Kirk a pointed look and Kirk walks over to a table by the window and sits down. Luke picks up a sponge and starts wiping down the table. He notices Kirk staring at him, his hands folded in front of him on the table. Luke sighs. "Can I get you something, Kirk?"
"Yeah, how much would it cost to have about a thousand orders of fries?" Kirk asks. Luke huffs, his left hand going to his hip as he stares at Kirk and blatantly blinks. Kirk looks back. "I'm sorry, are we having a staring contest? I wasn't ready, let's start again." Luke shakes his head.
"No Kirk, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop," Luke replies.
"You ask a simple question…" Luke raises an eyebrow, looking at Kirk like he's crazy.
"How much a thousand orders of fries cost?" Luke repeats in disbelief.
"Right, that's what I asked. I don't mean exactly a thousand, you know, plus or minus a few orders," Kirk explains innocently.
"Kirk!" Luke shouts. Kirk sits up straight. Luke takes a few menacing steps towards Kirk. "I swear, if you don't stop yanking my chain…" Luke's pointing at Kirk, shaking his finger as he speaks.
"No, Luke I really want to know." Luke straightens up.
"Really?"
"Yeah." Luke shrugs.
"Then just multiply the amount on the menu by a thousand. Or if you're really stuck, move the decimal point over three spots to the right," Luke explains logically.
"You stopped giving me menus a year ago when I tried to make adjustments to your menu," Kirk reminds him.
"That's because you took all the menus and used a permanent marker to cross out celery under the listing of ingredients for my tuna on rye."
"Well I'm allergic to celery and I like to order the tuna on rye," Kirk answers.
"Kirk, if my memory serves me correctly, you have never once ordered the tuna on rye from me," Luke responds walking back to finish wiping down the table.
"Not from you, but from other places, places that don't include the celery. You know, I'm allergic to celery," Kirk informs Luke, who glances up at Kirk.
"Yeah, I got that memo," Luke grunts. Then he shakes his head and goes back to wiping.
"Luke, you never gave me a menu," Kirk reminds him. Without looking up, Luke points at the pile of menus on the counter. Kirk slowly gets up from his chair, tiptoes over to the menus, picks one up and tiptoes back to his seat.
"Kirk!" Luke shouts. Kirk stops in his tracks, right as he's about to sit back down. "Stop pretending you're Jerry." Keeping eyes on Luke, Kirk slowly slides in the chair. Luke rolls his eyes and walks behind the counter, setting the sponge down.
"It says here a plate of fries costs 95 cents," Kirk reads. Luke throws a hand in the air.
"If that's what it says."
"So then a thousand orders would be…" Kirk looks up, using his finger to move the decimal point in the air.
"Nine hundred fifty dollars, it would cost nine hundred and fifty dollars, Kirk," Luke answers for him. Kirk nods.
"Yeah that's what I got too," Kirk agrees.
"Shocking," Luke deadpans, his eyes wide. He walks over and shakes the ketchup and mustard on each table. Pausing after the third table, Luke glances over at Kirk, who is staring at the menu. "Was there a reason for that diatribe?" Luke asks.
"Oh yeah, Taylor wants to fix the Stars Hallow sign," Kirk answers. Luke furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
"The Stars Hallow sign?" Luke repeats dumbfounded.
"Yeah, that blue and white rectangular thing that when read lets the person know he or she is entering the fine town of Stars Hallow," Kirk responds pointing at the sign in the center of town. Luke rolls his eyes and goes back to shaking the condiments bottles, seeing if they're all full. As he walks past the door, he stops and stares outside. Emily is standing a few feet from the door, staring back in, as if trying to make up her mind about whether or not she wants to go in. After watching her for a moment, Luke looks back at Kirk.
"So tell me Kirk, what does Taylor want changed?" Luke asks, walking over and sitting down across the table from Kirk. A small smile comes over Kirk's face as Luke, for once, shows interest in his activities.
"He wants a more accurate number of Stars Hallow residents," Kirk says. "Back when the sign was made, they exaggerated the number of people living here. There's no facts to prove that 9,973 people ever lived here at one time. Back then, small towns were known as hick places where people lived with their car ports and guns on the wall. But small towns are in now and Taylor wants to cash in," he explains as Emily walks in.
"Find a seat, I'll be with you in a moment," Luke says over his shoulder, not even turning around to see who it is. Emily arches an eyebrow. Kirk gives her a timid look and looks down at the menu like a scared little kid. But she acquiesces and takes a seat in a chair at a table across the room, pausing to wipe it off before she sits. Luke stares at Kirk. "So, go on, tell me more," Luke presses, leaning in to deeply converse with Kirk, who is unsure of how to respond to Luke's unusual moves.
"Okay…" Kirk undecidedly agrees. "Well I was thinking we could put signs up around town, offering free fries, tallying the number of people who show up." Luke folds his arms across his chest, pretending to be interested.
"I'm surprised you can make any money to support my grandchildren with the service you provide here, Luke," Emily snaps from across the room. Luke shrugs his shoulders, letting her words fall around him as he ignores her.
"And how would you afford this?' Luke questions Kirk.
"Oh, well Taylor offered me a thousand dollars to do this job for him, so if I bought the fries, I'd make fifty dollars," Kirk responds.
"And then you could afford that visit to the nuthouse we've all been pushing for?"
"Actually, I was going to put it into the savings account I set up so that I can eventually buy Lulu an engagement ring. I found a bank that gives you almost 6.5 interest."
"Well, at least someone treats their girlfriends nicely," Emily declares. Luke looks at her over his shoulder.
"Can I get you something Mrs. Gilmore?" Luke asks snidely. Emily arches an eyebrow again.
"Mrs. Gilmore? You haven't called me Mrs. Gilmore in almost a year now Luke," Emily reminds him. Luke presses his lips together, unsure of how to respond. "Why don't you come over here so we can chat and I can leave you to your stubbornness?" Luke looks back at Kirk.
"Hey Kirk, you ever thought of going to door to door instead? Would save you a lot of money. Course, I'm not going to tell you what to do, not everyone in the world is like that," Luke says to Kirk, but loud enough that Emily could hear. Kirk looks confused. "Keep thinking." Luke taps the table. He gets up and walks over to where Emily is sitting.
"Sit down, Luke, we need to talk," Emily commands. Luke hesitates for only a moment before sitting down. "I don't know what you think of me Luke, and I probably don't want to know, but know for sure I do love my daughter." Luke folds his hands on the table, keeping silent. "Do you remember that time you came to dinner? The first time you came to dinner. You told me to give my daughter a chance." Luke nods slowly.
"Yeah, I remember that," Luke responds.
"I'm giving her that chance. The chance to prove to me that she'll be just as happy living her life her way instead of my way. I may not be happy about, but it's what she wants. And what she wants is you. So I'm telling you, Luke…" Emily pauses, presses her lips together in a very Lorelai-like way. "I'm asking you, to also give her a chance. Just one. Just a chance." Luke leans back, thinking things over. "While you consider my request, let me ask you this. When my daughter was at dinner last week, she told me you think she wants more than you, that you're not good enough for her, is that true?"
"Isn't that what you think?" Luke retorts. Emily shakes her head.
"That's not what matters. It doesn't matter what I think, it's what Lorelai thinks. Do you really believe deep down that you're not good enough for her?" Luke opens his mouth to respond and the closing it, considering his words.
"I'm just a fool to believe I am anything she needs," Luke replies. Emily studies Luke, as if reforming her original opinion of the man. "Emily, your daughter is the most amazing woman I've ever met. She's smart. She's beautiful. She goes after what she wants. She has crazy ideas and half the time she follows through with them, which seems to work out well for her, although often not so well for me. She likes to joke but she also doesn't mind a serious conversation. She's the mother of my children, at least my youngest children. She's the only one I could see myself committing to spend the rest of my life with. And I love her."
"So why…." Luke shrugs.
"Because I'm none of those things," Luke answers.
"She's not Helen of Troy, Luke," Emily responds.
"But, to me, she is." Emily blinks. "To the world she may be only one person." Luke shrugs, letting the rest of the phase go, but Emily hears the end of the quote in her mind.
"If she's that to you, how do you know that you're not the same to her?" Emily asks. Luke looks up sharply.
"Did she say something to you?" Luke asks.
"It doesn't matter what she's said to me, give her a chance and you'll hear for yourself what she has to say," Emily responds.
"You're doing this because I told you to give her a chance?" Luke wonders. Emily purses her lips and then picks up her purse and stands.
"Sometimes when one isn't happy with one's own relationship, she tries to make others happy in theirs," Emily replies. Luke furrows his eyebrows, completely lost. Emily turns to walk out and glances at Kirk. "Have you ever heard of the census?" she asks Kirk, who looks bewildered by this inquiry. Emily looks back at Luke, picking a piece of paper out of her purse. "Did you get one of these?"
"An invitation to the trial run of the Dragonfly?" Luke asks. Emily nods.
"I got one, I'm taking Lulu," Kirk calls, but they ignore him.
"Yes, I did. It was shoved under my door a few mornings ago," Luke replies. Emily nods.
"Well, hopefully I'll see you then," Emily says. She nods to Kirk and walks out. Luke grudgingly stands and walks over to the bulletin board, looking at the invitation he has tacked up there.
"A census…" Kirk mumbles to himself. He glances up at Luke. "Are you going to go?" Luke shrugs. He glances over at Kirk.
"Kirk, how about we make a deal? I'll help you with the sign if you do something for me."