Well, here I am once again. I'm sorry that this took so long, but I had a bitchin' case of writer's block and had to completely restart this thing. The more I thought about Tat and Rori's relationship, the more complicated it got and the more confused I got. I don't care if it's just a fictional relationship; I still want to make it as real as possible…

Okay, as promised, the beginning will be an update on Shu and crew and then I'll finish Tat's story. For those of you who hate this and hate Rori: PLEASE…bare with me. This is the last chapter that's almost completely centered on them, plus I don't think I'm going to talk about many little things like I did last chapter. I'm not saying that this will be the last time that it's talked about, but it's the last time it'll be in so much detail. I promise…

Disclaimer: Pigs still can't fly; therefore, I still don't own Gravitation. And "Breathe No More" belongs to Evvy. I had to change a word to make it believable for Shu to be singing it, but other than that it's completely theirs…

Breathe No More…

A man with cat-like amber eyes stared at the stage in awe as the raven-haired singer took a seat at the piano that had risen from a compartment of the stage. It had been so long since he had seen Shuichi sit at a piano that he had thought for sure that the man had forgotten how to play. But…there he was.

"Okay," Shuichi said into the microphone. "Man, it's been awhile since I've sat at one of these babies." He laughed and so did the crowd. "But…here I am. Now, this song is by a band that we all like very much. This is our last song, I hope you like it."

He started the slow opening, closing his eyes against the emotions that threatened to overcome him, and added the equally mournful lyrics a few seconds later.

I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my souls on the other side.
All the little pieces fallen, shattered.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together,
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.

He couldn't believe the amount of emotion that Shuichi was showing on his sweat drenched face. At times, it looked like he was about to break down into tears, but, at others, it looked as if he had been relieved of some kind of overwhelming pain. And the lyrics, well, he just hoped that they were speaking of the past and not the present.

If I try to touch him,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

People in the crowd took out their lighters and started waving them back and forth in the air. Yuki would have done the same if he hadn't started to try and quit smoking. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned against the back wall, losing himself in the power of Shuichi's voice.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever,
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.
I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love.

Ah, then there was that verse. Yuki's eyes snapped open and he gazed at the singing man in question. He didn't know what he should think about that. For a brief second, Shuichi gazed back into the amber orbs and closed his eyes to concentrate on the words again.

So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe now...
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe-
I breathe no more.

Shuichi played out the end of the song on the piano and opened his eyes to the roar of the crowd. He smiled brightly and stood up, giving the crowd a quick wave before disappearing backstage. Yuki followed a few seconds later, blending into the groupies that had won free backstage passes from radio stations or other contests.

Yuki stood around for a few minutes and then slipped back to Shuichi's dressing room, the only place where they could talk without the fear of being disturbed. He took a seat on one of the trunks full of clothes and/or other touring things and waited for Shuichi to make it to the room.

A few minutes later, the doorknob turned and Shuichi walked in with a smile. The smile disappeared, however, when he saw the man who was sitting in his room.

"Hi, Eiri," he muttered and locked the door behind him.

"Hey, Shu," Yuki replied. "Good concert."

"Thanks," Shuichi said and gave him an emotionless smile, not bothering to look at his face.

Yuki watched as Shuichi walked around the room, cleaning some things up as he walked, and sighed. This was not the way he wanted their conversation to start out. Shuichi walked past him and Yuki lightly latched onto his arm.

"Shu, why are you pacing?"

"I'm not pacing," he said and pulled his arm out of Yuki's hand. "I'm just cleaning the room up. It's a mess."

"No," Yuki started, "you're doing what you do when something's on your mind. What is it?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"You're lying to me."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"FINE! It's you. You're on my mind. You're always on my mind! I can't get you out. I should be thinking of Tatsuha because he's back in Tokyo alone and probably worried that I'm gonna do something unfaithful. And do you know how many times I almost have? I can't do it. I can't put him through anymore pain."

"But you haven't done anything, that's the good thing. It's not like we're in a relationship or anything like that. We're just friends."

"Yeah, and our friendship will end up turning into something more if I'm not careful. I don't want to cheat on Tatsuha! I love him more than anything and wouldn't do anything to hurt him."

"Except sleep with me and slit your wrists," Yuki muttered under his breath.

"I heard that, and that was how many months ago? I was confused and upset; now I'm happy. I don't want to do anything to hurt him."

"Okay, okay. I didn't mean to strike a nerve or anything like that. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

Shuichi started pacing the room again and Yuki smiled softly, but didn't say anything. It was true, they were just friends and, as much as he would regret thinking this to himself, Tatsuha deserved Shuichi way more than he ever did. Of course, his past had been difficult too, but it had happened six years before he had met Shuichi. It had been plenty of time for him to forget about Kitazawa but he hadn't and that had been his fault, but Tatsuha… He lost Rori two years ago and, as good of a front as Tatsuha put on, Yuki knew that he wasn't over him. You could never get over losing someone you loved.

At some point of his thinking, Shuichi had stopped pacing and sat down with his head in his hands. He looked up at Yuki and opened his mouth to say something, then shook his head and looked back down at his feet.

"What, Shuichi?" Yuki asked with a smile.

"I…I dunno what I was gonna say."

"Why did you sing that song, Shuichi?"

Shuichi jumped slightly at the question and put his head back in his hands. "Because I like it."

"You're lying again."

"Alright, alright, it's because it makes me think."

"About what?"

"Everything," he sighed and finally looked Yuki in the eye. "About my life, about you, about Tatsuha, about…so many other things that I can't even think of right now. It's a beautiful song and it just reminds me of so much. I like it when songs make me think, especially ones that I like."

"Why does it make you think of me?"

"Because, even though I don't want to love you and even though you say that you don't love me, I know that you do. But which of me do you love? When I'm happy and cute you get that look in your eye that says that your trying as hard as you can to not kiss me, but I still need to watch out because you might slip. But, when I'm sad and depressed all we do is fight. It's like the song says…'I know the difference/between myself and my reflections/I just can't help but to wonder/which of us do you love.' Which of me do you love, Yuki? I'll never be my old self again…my reflection…and I want you to know that."

Yuki sighed and looked away from Shuichi's violet eyes. "I know that."

"Do you?"

Yuki sighed and jumped as a knock sounded on the door.

"Shuichi? Come on, we gotta go," Hiro called.

"I'll be there in a minute, Hiro. I'll meet you at the bus," Shuichi called.

"'Kay." Hiro's shadow disappeared from the window and Shuichi looked back at Yuki.

"I have to go. Are you going to follow us to Osaka?"

"I don't think so. I need to work and think some things over. I may call you," Yuki said and stood up.

"Okay," Shuichi said and gave Yuki a quick hug before unlocking the door and disappearing out of it.

Yuki stood and waited for a few minutes to let the crowd die down a bit, and then disappeared out the door himself, headed back for Tokyo.

-------------

(A/N: Now, to your displeasure, it's time to hear the rest of Tatsuha's story)

When Rori left for America, it felt like my world had stopped spinning, but when he returned, it started spinning again except it started too fast. I think that he would still be here today if things had of gone slower, but, then again, maybe he wouldn't be. Slowing things down is just away to delay the inevitable, isn't it, and I should have known from the day I met him that Rori would end up dying in some kind of horrible way, and don't think any other way could have been more horrible. When I found him that night, my world stopped spinning again, and I don't think it's ever picked up again. Mika's tried helping me and God knows how much Shuichi has tried to make me happy, but he's not Rori. No one can replace him.

I'm getting ahead of myself, though, aren't I? Yeah, but I want to get this story over as fast as I possibly can. He's still in my dreams and I think that finally telling this will get him to go away, if only for a little while. I can't stand seeing him without being able to physically touch him. It's just too much.

Anyway, when he returned life went back to being as normal as it possibly could. I spent most of my free time at his house and, at school, we had all the same classes. It was heaven. We never had to be without the other. He would even come to the temple with me and watch me while I worked whenever he could. Then, when I quit, I think it's safe to say that I moved into his house. By then, I think my father had a good idea of what was going on, especially after Eiri and Shu, but never said anything. He didn't want Rori to do to me what Eiri had done to Shu. I know that he wouldn't have, but that's a different story for Shuichi to tell you on a different day.

Well, half way through the year, our relationship began to crumble. You see, his parents moved back to Japan, but he conveniently forgot to tell me that bit of information. That wasn't what caused our relationship to fall apart, but it was the first hairline fracture.

I called his house one day to ask him if we were still going out that night and a woman answered the phone. I knew that the voice wasn't his mother's and, not wanting to blow up on the girl, I hung up the phone and walked to his house. By that time the girl was gone but Rori was still there and, unfortunately, in the shower. I barged into the bathroom, yelling and all that good stuff, but when he pulled back that curtain, I think my mouth dropped. The bastard actually had the balls to laugh at me and then take me out into the living room and ask me what my problem was.

When I told him what was wrong, his eyes started to get downcast and he wouldn't look at me, no matter how hard or often I hit him. It really pissed me off, but it worried me more. If he couldn't look me in the eye and tell me why he had a woman at his house, what else couldn't he tell me? I mean, how hard could it have been for him to tell me that he got sick of having sex with me and wanted a good fuck? It wouldn't take much for me to say, but I had changed in the year we were apart, he hadn't.

In time, I did get him to break down and tell me why she was there, and that's when he told me about his parents returning to Japan. He didn't tell me where they lived or why they were back, but he said that the good thing was that his mother wouldn't tell his father where he lived so he was safe. For the time being, anyway.

I had no idea what a woman sleeping at his house had to do with his parents returning to Japan, though. I realized that his father was a dickhead, but if he didn't know where he lived then how could he send woman to his home? I was so confused and furious and that really doesn't make a good combination with me. I yelled, I hit, I spit on him, and I stomped out of his house in a rage. He took it all and his face looked so sad and that didn't make my temper any better. I thought that he was feeling sorry for cheating on me so I got even angrier. I didn't want his remorse; I wanted him to feel what I was feeling. Pain, anger, sorrow, fear, I wanted him to feel every last goddamn one.

I went home and took some time to calm down. Somewhere in my mind, I knew the truth but I wouldn't accept it. I don't know why because his father was the type of person that would do that, but I had gotten so used to life with his personally made hell that I didn't want to believe that he was back. Ridiculous, I know, but would be able to accept it?

Our relationship slowly crumbled into nothing. As much as I loved him, I wouldn't listen to a word that Rori had to say. I avoided him at all costs, I didn't want to spend any time with him, I hung up on him whenever he called, I turned into the dickhead. I was horrible to Rori, but he still tried, dammit. He didn't want to give up, and neither did I but I still didn't want to accept that fact that his father was doing all the damage. I had been in my own personal Utopia, heaven, whatever you want to call it. I couldn't believe that I had been ripped out of it so carelessly.

I got so depressed that I almost contemplated cutting myself, but I never did. I was stronger than that. I'm not saying that Rori and Shuichi are weak, but I wasn't going to give into something so horrible. I refused to tarnish my skin with scars that took too long to go away.

Our fight went on for…God, a couple of months. I think it was well into February when we stopped fighting, and that was only because he invited me to go to dinner at his parent's house. Why? I have no clue, but I agreed. I hoped that I could get a swing or two in at his dad, doubting that nothing would really happen. Maybe he had finally accepted Rori and my relationship. Yeah, right, but maybe. Just maybe.

I met Rori at his house and he hailed a taxi so we could go. We had a good talk on the way to his parent's house, but it wasn't good enough. I was still angry at him and he was still confused on why I was so angry. I tried getting the point through but he still didn't understand, so I gave up.

When the taxi pulled up in front of Rori's old house, we both took deep breaths and walked up to the door, Rori slipping his hand into mine on the way up. I laid my head on his shoulder and took another deep breath, praying that his father wouldn't answer the door when we got up there. Thankfully, the Man seemed to listen to me because his mother answered with a large smile and hugs for both of us. We took them gratefully and she led us inside, telling Rori that his father was out back if he wanted to talk to him. Rori nodded and left, leaving me to help his mother with dinner, which I did gratefully.

I don't know what was said between Father and son out in the garden, but I didn't hear any yelling. That was when I started getting my hopes up, maybe his father had finally accepted our relationship, after all. Like before, it was very doubtful but maybe he did.

Dinner was put onto the table and everyone sat around it, Rori's father trying to be as polite as he could. I actually thought that it was pretty funny because I could tell that he was trying his hardest not to reach out and snap both Rori and my necks. You should have seen the dirty looks that I got from him. I had to keep biting my knuckle to keep from laughing, and even had to excuse myself to the bathroom once so I could get it out.

On my way back down the hallway to the kitchen, I heard Tatsuha's father saying a bunch of shit. He wondered why he was still with me after he sent all the girls to his house and wondered if he had actually slept with any of them. My heart swelled why pride and guilt when Rori defiantly said no. I heard his mother start to yell for "Joseph" to sit down, but he yelled over her. The last thing that I wanted was for Rori to get hurt, so I walked casually into the dining room, pretending that I hadn't heard anything, and wandered over to my chair.

Unfortunately, Rori's father directed his anger toward me and I soon found myself pinned to a wall with a hand around my throat. (Why does everyone go after my throat, dammit?) Rori struggled with his father to get him off me but his father was relentless. He had a point to prove to me, and who cared if he killed me in the process? At least then he'd finally have me out of the way.

Somehow, I managed to get the strength to push him off of me and he fell onto the ground. I jumped on him and hit him as hard as I could. I didn't care where I hit him, just as long as I got my point through. I wasn't leaving Rori and I was anything but afraid of the man that was bleeding underneath me. I was yelling so loud that my voice went hoarse, but I didn't stop. That bastard had put me and Rori through so much pain and I wanted him to feel what Rori felt every time he pulled his belt off. After getting at least a dozen hits in, Rori managed to lift me away from his father, still yelling and kicking and screaming for him to let me go. Thankfully, he didn't but he pulled out into the back yard and sat me on a bench with an arm around my waist.

I put my head on his shoulder and started to cry. I was so angry and confused that I actually didn't remember what I had done. All I knew was that I had blood on my fists and clothes. Rori laughed and told me what I did; laughing even harder at the smile I gave him when he was done. I had finally done it. I had finally gotten the balls to get my point through to his father. I wasn't going anywhere in the near future and he better get used to it.

Once Rori was convinced that I was calm enough to walk past his bleeding father, he led me back inside, an arm still around my waist, and said his goodbyes to his mother and father before walking out the front door with me. He didn't even bother apologizing. I think he had as much fun watching his father getting the shit beat of him as I had doing it.

After that, our relationship started to build up again and we went on our tainted lives, the year getting inevitably closer and closer to graduation…

­-------------

Rori sat quietly in class, watching the clock slowly tick by as his first period teacher began his day's preaching. He yawned quietly and glanced over at the desk beside him with a smile. Tatsuha was late…again. God, the man had turned into such a slacker since the New Year.

The classroom's door opened and Rori glanced sideways at the doorway, smile growing larger as he recognized the innocently smiling man in the doorway. Tatsuha entered the classroom and took a seat at his desk, acting like nothing had even happened. The teacher, already peeved that Tatsuha had been late the entire week, but on his best mean scowl and thundered over to the man's desk, towering over him in all of his über scary glory.

"May I ask why you are late again, Uesugi?" the teacher asked, arms crossed over his chest.

"This morning I had to inform my father that I am planning on going to college, which also meant telling him that I am going to quit at the temple. Needless to say, he got a little pissed and we got in a fight," Tatsuha said smartly, a small, almost innocent smile playing across his features.

Rori looked away and had to bite on his fist to keep himself from laughing at the look on the teacher's face. He heard the teacher audibly growl and had to bite down even harder.

"Well then, you know well what the consequences are for being late. No lunch today, and, since this was your fourth offense this week, an essay on how hard it is for little boys such as yourself to get into college when they are late to school every day." With that, the teacher turned his back on Tatsuha and returned to the front of the class room.

Rori finally got a grip on himself and took a deep breath before looking back to the front of the classroom. When the teacher finally turned his back, Rori grinned and tapped Tatsuha on the elbow, his blue eyes shining Tatsuha looked back.

"Nice job, Uesugi. Now we can't spend lunch together," he whispered indignantly, his smile turning to a scowl. "How come you always gotta show up late? Next, we won't be able to spend any time together."

Tatsuha smiled and poked his boyfriend playfully on the cheek. "Oh, I don't think I'll let that happen," he said mischievously.

Rori felt the blush creeping up his cheeks, but he kept the frown on his face. "You're father would flip if he really knew where you went after school, ya know?" he said dangerously. "When are you planning on saying something to him?"

"I'll do it when I feel like it, and he shouldn't be too hard. He was fine with Eiri."

The other man smirked and shook his head. "Yes, but Eiri wasn't a rebellious little prick, was he?"

Tatsuha shook his head and grinned proudly. "Nope," he said, "and neither was I until Dad decided to try and track my every move."

Rori laughed quietly and punched Tatsuha lightly in the arm. "It suits you, though."

Tatsuha laughed and the teacher turned around with another of his audible animal noises.

"Jacobson, since you are so bent on conversing with your friend, why don't you spend lunch with him?" the teacher growled.

"Fine with me," Rori said and leaned back in his chair, grinning innocently at the scowling Tatsuha next to him. "What?" he whispered.

Tatsuha chuckled and rolled his eyes, pulling out his books as the teacher started to give notes and go over the play they had currently been reading.

The rest of the day passed about the same. Rori had been looking forward to getting some free time with Tatsuha at lunch, but his teacher decided to make it supervised. They couldn't talk, couldn't write back and forth, they were forbidden to have any source of communication, and the teacher made this clear by making them sit on opposite sides of the classroom. They each got an assignment that the teacher refused to help them on, so neither of them did it. The teacher got pissed, but he knew that he shouldn't have expected more. They were bent on getting into college and did the work that would get them in. He shouldn't have expected any more or any less.

When the final bell of the day finally rang, Rori was ready to go. He didn't think that he had had a day that long since he had been taken back to America and that had been a long ass day. He walked out of the school and into the cold snow a few minutes later with Tatsuha and his backpack. They walked in silence for a while until Tatsuha put an arm around Rori and pulled him close. Rori sighed and put his head on Tatsuha's shoulder, snaking his hand around Tatsuha's waist as well.

"Tatsuha?" Rori asked. "Do you piss him off on purpose?"

"Who? My father or our jackass teacher?"

"Either one. You always wanted to be a monk and now you've quit that to go to college, but your grades are suffering so badly that no one is even sure if you'll make it into college. Both of them know that you have a lot of potential, just like your brother, but you're not using it."

"Please don't compare me to Eiri, Rori," Tatsuha muttered. "I am nothing like him."

"Sorry, Tat-kun, it's just, I dunno…I'm worried that you won't make it into college."

"Worrying only makes things worse," Tatsuha mumbled and let go of his lover so he could lead him up to his apartment.

"I can't help it," Rori said while they stood in the elevator. "Brooding is my specialty; you of all people should know that."

"I know. How's your mother doing?"

Rori laughed. "She's fine. Not gonna ask about my father."

"Hell no," Tatsuha laughed, and stopped at the foot of the stairs to Rori's apartment so the brunette could lead the way up.

They went up the ten stories in silence and, when they got up to Rori's apartment, Rori kept the silence by kissing Tatsuha deeply. He led the way over to the couch and sat down, pulling Tatsuha into his lap. They pulled apart to breathe a few seconds later, and Tatsuha grinned.

"Last night wearin' off?" he joked, poking Rori playfully on the nose.

"Just a little," Rori said and moved in to kiss Tatsuha again, but was stopped by a hand over his lips.

"We need to study for finals. Those acceptance letters won't do us any good when the come if we don't pass finals," he said with an evil smile.

Rori sighed and picked Tatsuha up, setting him on the couch next to him. "God, you do know how the ruin the mood, Tat-kun."

"I know," Tatsuha said with an innocent smile. "I can't help what I'm good at."

Rori smiled and winced as his phone rang, splitting through the headache he hadn't gotten rid of since lunch. He sighed and grabbed the phone when Tatsuha tossed it to him.

"Hello?" he asked, fully aware that Tatsuha was listening.

…

"Yeah, I know. I'm working on it."

…

"I know. When I get it I'll send it to you, but until then I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry."

…

"How much is it?"

…

Rori sucked in air and silently cursed at his luck. "Okay," he sighed. "I'll have it next week."

…

"Alright. Thank you, sir." He hung up the phone and smiled at the man frowning in concern next to him.

"What was that Ror?" Tatsuha asked, brow furrowed in thought.

"Nothing, don't worry about it. It's someone from where Dad works. I need to take care of something over there later on," he lied.

Tatsuha looked at him for a second longer in suspicion and then shook his head. "Whatever you say."

"That's what I say," he muttered and got his books out. "Now what're we studying first?"

They studied and studied and studied for the next couple of days. Rori had to call off one of their sessions, though, so he could meet with the person that had called him earlier that week. Tatsuha agreed reluctantly, but thankfully didn't ask anymore questions. Rori didn't think he would have been able to lie to him again if he had to.

Rori went to his parent's house that day after school, knowing that his father wouldn't be home for a couple of hours and he could talk to his mother freely. When he got to the front door, he raised a hesitant fist to the door to knock, hating what he was about to ask of his mother but knowing that he couldn't go without her help. He knocked quietly, sighing when he heard his mother call out a reply and then answer the door a few seconds later.

"Oh, Rori, hi!" she exclaimed and stepped aside. "Come on in, sweetie. It's been ages since we last talked, hasn't it?"

Rori kept his eyes locked on his shoes and nodded. "Yeah, it has."

Laura, sensing her son's pain, reached out and laid a hand on Rori's shoulder. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Mom, I…I…can you loan me some money? I'm out of what you gave me before and my debit card won't work because I know that dad shut off my account. I'm behind in my rent and the people are going to kick me out soon if I don't pay it this month," he said, breaking down into tears.

"Oh, honey," his mother said and hugged him. "Of course I will."

"No you won't," a voice from up the stairs thundered and Rori looked up to see his father standing at the top with a scowl.

"But, Joseph. He needs it and you shut off his accounts so he can't pay it," his mother pleaded, standing protectively in front of her son in case her husband decided to do anything stupid.

"Cry me a fuckin' river," his father growled and walked down the stairs with the most fiendish grin he ever gave. "Oh, wait, y'already are."

He pushed his wife away from Rori and bore down up on his son like a lion taking his kill.

"You're gonna get you're cryin' ass out of my house and you're gonna get a fuckin' job and you're gonna pay your own goddamn bills," his father roared and shoved him out of the house, closing and locking the door behind him.

Rori stood on the doorstep for a few minutes longer, in a complete daze, and looked behind him. He couldn't believe his father could be that coldhearted. All he needed was a couple hundred dollars and he would have been on his way. And he would have paid them back; he had told his mother that he would after all.

Sighing quietly and shaking his head, Rori wiped the tears away from his face and started walking back to his house. Halfway there, a familiar voice called out from somewhere on the street and he turned to see Tatsuha calling him from a taxi.

"Please stay here, sir," he heard the raven-haired man mumble and then Tatsuha ran across the street. "Rori, hey. You okay?"

Tatsuha wrapped an arm around Rori's waist and Rori broke down into his shoulder. He sighed and pulled Rori into a tight hug, waiting a few seconds for the man to calm down before leading him across the street and into the taxi. He gave the driver instructions to Rori's place and let the man keep crying into his shoulder.

A quick five minutes later, the driver pulled up to Rori's apartment building and Tatsuha helped Rori out of the cab before paying the man his fee. The driver pulled off and Tatsuha walked, with an arm around Rori, into the building, rode up the elevator, and walked down the hall to his apartment. He unlocked the door with the key he had gotten from Rori and led the man back to his room.

He laid Rori down on his bed and climbed in next to him, pulling the blankets over them and holding the brunette softly.

"Rori, what's wrong?" he whispered to the still heavily crying man.

"Nothing, I just met with my mother, 's all," Rori said. He hated lying to Tatsuha, but he didn't want to make the raven-haired man have to deal with his problems as well as his own.

"Are you sure?" Tatsuha asked quietly,

Rori nodded and Tatsuha left it at that. Rori fell asleep in Tatsuha's arms, praying that everything would get better by this time next week.

It didn't, though. During the next week, his father tried to have him arrested twice. Once for running away and once for robbery. He didn't have to go to jail for running away because he was eighteen, had a job, and a decent place to live. He was legally an adult and was able to somewhat support himself,f so there wasn't a problem with that. He did, however, get thrown into jail overnight for robbery. Tatsuha tried to bail him out, but wasn't able to. After finding out what had happened, his mother rushed to the jail the next morning and told the police that Rori had never stolen anything from them. She had given him the money and he had used it.

His father was furious that he couldn't get Rori into trouble but the more he went to the police to get him into trouble, the more distrustful the police got of him. They knew that he was just an angry and/or jealous father that was just trying to get his child in trouble for unknown reasons.

After that, Rori went into a deep depression. Companies were hounding after him for money, but he couldn't pay all of them because he needed enough money for food. He knew that Tatsuha was beyond worried about him, but Rori still refused to drag him into it, no matter how persistent the man was.

Graduation slowly crawled upon the seniors at his high school and Rori couldn't have been more depressed. He hadn't gotten his college acceptance letter and, as many times as he said that he hadn't gotten his either, he knew that Tatsuha had. Everything was going downhill for him and he didn't know what else to do.

Tatsuha insisted on coming over after school on the day of graduation but Rori refused. He said that he wanted to wait until the ceremony to see Tatsuha again, fully aware that he probably wouldn't. Before Tatsuha left his side, though, he gave him the most passionate kiss he had ever given him.

"What was that for?" Tatsuha asked with a grin.

"Just something to remember me by," Rori said with a humorless smile.

Rori went home alone that day and threw his things on the ground. With a sigh, he picked up his phone and hit the on button. He knew that it would run up that battery, but, with what he planned on doing, he didn't expect to be talking on it much. He went to the back of his house and closed himself in the study, getting out all of his paint and began working on the painting he planned on finishing before he said his goodbyes that night.

It was a painting taken from a photograph of him and Tatsuha earlier that year. It was when they were their happiest. The snow fell around them softly and they stood in the middle of the park, arms around each other's waists and huge, ignorant smiles on their faces. A tear fell down Rori's face and splashed across the photo as Rori compared it and his finished work.

"Perfect," he muttered through a sob and set the picture and painting aside to dry.

He dug around in a corner for clean canvas and cleaned out his brushes, preparing to paint a picture of what would take him away soon. It was of an angel dressed in black with black wings. Her beauty was the mask that she needed to hide herself from unknowing people, but Rori knew that she was sitting in Tatsuha's chair at the desk, watching him with her fingers steepled and fiendish grin on her face.

Rori finished the painting at exactly eight o'clock that night. With a sigh, he cleaned out his last paint brush and wrote the title in the bottom right hand corner ("Angel of Death") and painted his signature. He knew that the graduation ceremonies where starting now but he didn't care. What good would a high school diploma do him where he was planning on going?

Rori left his study for the first time in five hours and went to his room, digging around in his closet for what he knew was there. A six-shooter pistol. He hugged it to his chest in an almost loving gesture and carried back to his studio with him. He crossed the room to his desk and set the gun down on the hard surface before taking a seat, chuckling emotionlessly as a small thought drifted through his head (I'm sitting on the Angel of Death), and got out a sheet of paper. He scrolled a salutation across the top, briefly wondering how long it was going to be before he saw him again, before writing the body of the letter.

Dear Tatsuha.

I know that you will never forgive me for what I am about to do, but you have to understand that it's the only thing I can do. If I don't do this, I'll have to rely on you for the strength and materials to get me back up and going and I don't want to do that. I don't want to heavy your load with my burdens since you are going through so much right now yourself.

You're probably wondering what I'm talking about, so I'll get to the point because I don't want to leave my friend alone any longer. Remember when we went shopping that first time and my debit card wouldn't work? Yeah, well have you also noticed that I haven't tired using it since then? That's because it wouldn't work anyway. My father closed my accounts so I haven't had access to any money except that which my mother gave me for a year. My job is supporting me, but not enough. I'm able to take care of my utilities, but my landlord is going to be kicking me out of my home soon and I don't have the money to take care of it. I went to my mother to ask her if she could loan me money, but got caught by my father. He kicked me out of the house and left me with this as my only option. He is also the one who tried to get me thrown in jail, well; he succeeded that one time, but not the first. Yeah, he tried two times. The first for running away and the second for robbery. The one I was put in jail was for the robbery charges but Mom helped me out with that one.

I'm sorry that I'll be leaving you alone, but you'll be so much happier with someone else. If I don't leave then I'll just make life hell for you and I don't want that. I never got an acceptance letter like I know you did, and I don't want to spend four years without you. You mean the world to me, Tatsuha Uesugi, and I wish that I could hold you one last time but I know that I can't. Your good-bye gift is still lingering on my lips and I can still taste you, but it's fading so I want to get this other with. I want to die feeling you, touching you even if you aren't near. I finally finished our painting. I know it took forever, but it's perfect and I want you to have it. Please, take it as something else for you to remember me by. You can also have the one on my easel if you want. I know that my memory will be a painful one, but I'll be watching over you. Whether I'm up in heaven or burning in hell, I'll be watching you.

Now is my time to leave you. I don't think I can resist its call any longer. It's too strong and I am weak. I hope that you aren't the one that finds this note first, but if you do I am sorry. I never wanted you to see me like you will, so I apologize in advance.

I love you, koi, as you know. I've shouted it to the world once before and I'll do it once again before I die. Aishiteru, Tatsuha. Goodbye, my love.

Forever and For Always, Rori

Rori sighed and put his pen down on the desk, the clicked echoing loudly throughout his desolate home. He read and re-read the letter, making sure it was perfect, before folding it into a rectangle and sticking it into an envelope. In his beautiful cursive script, Rori wrote Tatsuha's name across the front of the envelope and set it on top of the painting of himself and the raven-haired man.

With one more heavy sigh, Rori walked to the window and opened it, letting the crisp, nighttime June air pour into his apartment. He took a deep breathe and stuck his head out the window.

"I LOVE TATSUHA UESUGI!" he yelled and in his mind heard a return call of "and I love Rori Jacobson" in return, but knew that he did not.

Tatsuha's touches were fading fast now, so Rori closed the window and returned to his desk, wrapping his hand around the cold, metal handgrip of the gun.

"I love you, Tatsuha," he whispered through sobs and put the gun to his temple.

A gun shot that could be heard in a one block radius rang out, but no one took the liberty to care. They were too busy to worry about the man who was madly in love but full of depression dying alone in his apartment.

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Tatsuha jumped as the principal called his name for him to walk across the stage. Something was wrong, horribly wrong, with Rori, but he couldn't just run out and leave now. With a fake smile plastered across his face that hid none of worry from the beautiful brunette in the crowd, Tatsuha walked gracefully across the stage and shook hands gratefully with his principal before accepting his diploma and exiting at the other side of the stage. He took his seat in the sea of blue hats and robes and put his head in his hands.

Oh, Rori, where are you? And how are you? Are you okay? I know that you aren't because if you were I wouldn't be feeling this dread in my gut. Oh, Rori, what did you do?

The rest of the names were finally called and the rest of the seniors in their seats among the sea of blue, and the principal stood in front of the class of 2002 and family and friends and began his goodbye speech. It as long, boring, and did nothing to keep the dread from growing in Tatsuha's stomach.

The ceremony finally ended and Tatsuha ran out of the high school as fast as he could, not bothering to say goodbye to any of his friends and family. As he ran, he pulled his robe off and dialed Rori's number on his cell phone, cursing when it was busy. He tore his way up the stairs of Rori's building and across the lobby, barely hearing the receptionist as she yelled that there was to be no running in the lobby. He frantically pushed the up button on the closet elevator, fumbling with the keychain in his pocket for Rori's key as he waited. The doors finally opened an eternity later and Tatsuha threw himself in, slumping against the wall and taking great heaving breaths while he did his best not to cry.

The elevator finally stopped outside the tenth story and Tatsuha dashed out the doors before they even opened all the way, calling out an apology as he ran into a woman who was waiting to get inside. He reached Rori's door leaned against it, focusing everything he had on his hearing so he would know if Rori was inside. When he didn't hear anything, that just made him even more nervous, and he stuck the key up to the whole. He had to use two hands, one for the key and one to steady the other, but he finally succeeded in opening the door.

He pulled the heavy wood door open and a coppery, metallic smell instantly filled his nose, filling him with an immediate sense of nausea. Every light in the house was off and he checked the phone in the living room to see that it was hanging off the hook.

"Rori?" he called out, pulling his shirt up over his nose to block out as much of the horrible smell as he could. "Rori, where are you?"

When there was no answer, Tatsuha became even more frantic and started to search all of the rooms. Rori's bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, even the closets…he checked them all, but there was no sign of his brunette lover anywhere in the house.

Tatsuha stood in the middle of the living room, a look of painful detachment on his face as he finally let his tears fall down his face. Rori wasn't there; he hadn't been to graduation…where was he? He didn't no where else Rori could be. He was about to give up when he remembered Rori's blessed "studio", the one that his lover spent countless hours in making beautiful artwork. Preparing himself for the worst, Tatsuha made his way back to the room, not acknowledging the figure that had entered the apartment's doorway seconds before.

The door was open and, as he made his way down the hall, Tatsuha realized that the smell got stronger the closer he got to the door. A sob snuck its way past his lips as he resisted the urge to make a detour into the bathroom and throw up. After what seemed to be an eternity of suspense and concern, Tatsuha finally entered the room full of art.

With a hand over his mouth and eyes open wide in suspense, Tatsuha fumbled with the light switch on the wall. The first thing he saw was blood. It was every where. Then, he let his eyes trail further and further down to the ground and he saw the body of his lover lying here, blood pouring from what was left of his head.

A bloodcurdling scream rang out through the apartment and Tatsuha collapsed to the ground. He didn't hear the footsteps as someone ran up behind him and didn't know who wrapped their arms around him, but he really didn't care. Rori was gone. He was actually gone.

A female voice whispered words of condolence into Tatsuha's ear and he finally realized that it was Mika. He pulled his sister as close to him as he possibly could and sobbed even harder into her shoulder, moaning incoherent words about Rori and what he saw and…everything.

Mika made "sh"ing sounds and rubbed Tatsuha's back softly, finally managing to calm him down enough so he could stand, and led him away from the scene to the living room. She sat Tatsuha down on the couch and picked up Rori's phone, cursing when she saw that it was dead. She sat down next to Tatsuha, letting the man lay into her shoulder, and dialed 911 on her cell phone. She reported the suicide and gave them Rori's address and hung up, returning all of her attention to the delusional man lying next to her.

Tatsuha's skin was so pale and his eyes were wide and blank, lost and confused.

"It's my fault," he muttered. "I should have seen it coming. I ignored all the warning signs and this is what I get in return."

"No," Mika cooed and gently pushed her brother's bangs out of his eyes, "it's not your fault, sweetie. We all should have seen it coming after everything he's been through. It's not your fault."
The telltale sounds of sirens rang out on the street below and the flashing lights lit up the apartment like the sun. A few seconds later, she heard a loud knock on the door and she lifted herself up from the couch, letting Tatsuha curl into the fetal position and just lay there, and turned on a light on the way to the door. The light stung her eyes, but she ignored it and answered the door, telling the paramedics and police where he was before returning to Tatsuha's side.

One of the police came back a few seconds later with an envelope and flipped open a notebook.

"Which one of you is Tatsuha?" he asked.

"He is," Mika said and took the envelope from the officer and handed it to the broken man. "Here, sweetie, I think it's from Rori."

Tatsuha reached out gingerly and took the envelope, a sob escaping his lips as he ran a finger over Rori's fine script. Carefully, he pulled the flap out of the envelope and pulled out the letter. He unfolded the paper slowly, almost as if he thought it would burn his skin, and read the letter thoroughly. Mika read the letter over his shoulder, sobs escaping their lips in unison in just the right places, and, when Tatsuha folded the letter up and replaced it in the envelope an eternity later, Mika heard him whisper something under his breath.

"I love you, Rori Jacobson," he whispered and hugged the letter closely to his chest.

"Were you related to him?" the officer asked as he took a seat on the arm of the couch.

"I was in love with him. I am in love with him," Tatsuha whispered and Mika saw the officer scrawl something down in his notebook.

"So you were his lover?" The officer sounded rather disgusted, but Tatsuha was in too much pain to notice it. Instead, he just nodded and closed his eyes.

"Which of you arrived first?" he asked.

"Tatsuha arrived first, but I followed," Mika explained. "Rori never showed up to graduation and Tatsuha knew that something was wrong. I knew as well and didn't want Tatsuha to be alone, no matter what scene he walked in on."

The officer nodded his head and wrote some more things in his book. "Did he show any warning signs of his depression? Or that he was going to commit suicide?"

"Of course he was depressed," Tatsuha said coldly. "His father's a bastard and wrecked his life. I never thought that he would commit suicide, though."

"His father? What did his father do to him?"

Tatsuha snorted and shrugged. "What didn't he do? He beat him, took him away from me, almost killed him, got him arrested, took away all of his money. His father is a psycho! I don't even know why he's allowed to walk the streets."

"So he showed signs of depression, but not suicidal behavior?"

"Well, he cut himself, but that's all. It wasn't suicidal behavior, though; he had control over it and obviously didn't slit his wrists. He used that as a coping mechanism, no matter how much I hated it."

The officer nodded some more and wrote some more and asked questions until Tatsuha was worn out. By the time he was finished, the paramedics had already hauled Rori out in a body bag, but Tatsuha hadn't seen it. When the man tipped his hat, Mika couldn't thank the officer enough for the distraction.

"Don't worry about it, ma'am," he whispered and turned to Tatsuha. "I'm sorry for your loss, Tatsuha, and if you need anyone to talk to about it, call him." He handed Tatsuha a card and shook his hand before leaving.

Mika called Touma a few minutes later and he drove as fast as he could to Rori's, meeting them at the curb so they could take Tatsuha home. Mika explained everything to him and, when the arrived at the temple, Touma got out and helped Mika take Tatsuha back to his room before meeting with everyone else in the living room.

"What's happened?" Shuichi asked once they returned.

"Rori…committed suicide," Mika said and everyone gasped, it would have been comical had the moment not been so serious.

"I can't believe it," her father muttered. "Why did he do such a thing?"

"Tatsuha will let you read the letter when he's ready and that will answer all of your questions, but, until then, I'm not going to tell you anything."

The group nodded and spanned out. Shuichi went back to Tatsuha's room to offer him company and ended up falling asleep back there. Mika went back and couldn't help but let a smile bloom across her face when she saw Shuichi lying on his side next to Tatsuha's bed roll, one hand under his head as a pillow and the other gently holding Tatsuha's hand.

Slowly, a week passed, but still no one could believe what had happened. Rori's funeral was held the second weekend of June and everyone went. Tatsuha begged sadly for them to open the coffin so he could see Rori's face on more time, but no one would. Nor would anyone tell him that there was probably nothing left to Rori's face. The funeral was full of tears, the most shed when Tatsuha got up to say words about his broken lover. When he was done, Rori's mother embraced him gently and his father actually shook his hand and apologized. After reading Rori's letter, he said that the only person he had to blame for the incident was himself. And he announced that to the crowd in a mixture of shame and pride. Not pride for killing his son, but pride for finally being able to say that he was wrong and Rori had, indeed, always been right.

Tatsuha started therapy a few days later, first going with Mika and/or Touma, but was finally able to go by himself after a while. He got a lot out, but was never able to talk about Rori's suicide. Until now that is. Now, he's told his story and has finally said goodbye to the love of his life…forever and for always.

TBC…

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A/N: Damn, this was a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would be. I was only expecting four or five quick, incomprehensible pages, but by the time I got back to Rori I was good to go. Call me morbid but that's the part I was looking forward to. This isn't it for Rori, but, as said before, this is it for the big stuff. Tatsuha never told Shuichi that he and Rori were lovers, so that's gonna have to come up sooner or later. And, yes, I realize that some of this stuff was reused from the dream in chapter ten, but the dream wasn't actually a dream. It was of past memories and it's what actually happened, so I didn't want to tell it differently…

Now…what about Yuki and Shu? It sounds like Shuichi's finally opened his eyes and knows that it's wrong to hurt Tatsuha, but will hormones take over? I dunno yet, but after writing this I really wish that Tatsuha were real so I could give him a big hug. I feel bad for putting him through so much, but I guess I had to. Well, I didn't have to, but…I dunno. I'm just gonna shut up now…

Thanks to: KageKitsune16, GravityNeko, Sammy -.-zzz, clueless97, animegirl12182, Ryuichi Sakuma, sakurya, Kitty in the Box, Crystal Flowers, CassiToTheStars, shadowcat06, Guren, TaraYukiUesugi, and my Mary-chan for the, once again, kick ass reviews. I'm glad that you all care somewhat about this and have taken the time to read it. It's been hard for me, but I'm not gonna say why. You'll find that out at the end…

Well, I'm out. Look forward to more of the "normal" stuff concerning Shu and Co. in the next chapter. It should be interesting. Ja!...