As I've said the past few chapters…I'M SO VERY SORRY! Man, that's starting to sound like a chapterly mantra, isn't it? I hate making you guys wait so long but sometimes I can't help it. It's not like it's my fault though. Blame Mr. Shauver, my chemistry teacher. It's his fault! Oh, and blame DDR too 'cause that's my new addiction and kept my attention better than the computer did… Before Jason had to take the Xbox away, that is…sighs… Oh, DDR. How I miss you so… He, he… Pitiful, huh?…

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are preparing for an even better holiday season…

Hey! What am I doing? (Sorry…Hiro moment…) On with it!…

Disclaimer: You know this already… It's on my Christmas list…sarcasm…but I deeply doubt that I'll get it… And, of course, "Light with a Sharpened Edge" belongs to The Used…

Light with a Sharpened Edge…

Touma sighed heavily and ran a gloved hand through his golden hair, tugging at it gently. He couldn't deny the fact that he was getting older and that age was catching up with him. Although he was only reaching the edge of thirty-seven, it wasn't unusual to find him snoozing behind his desk whenever he wasn't working with the band or at home with his two children and Mika.

A small smile tugged at the blonde's lips as he thought about his children; a beautiful little one-year-old boy and an adorable four-year-old girl, just waiting for him to come home so he could smother them in hugs and love. But they did the same for him. If he and Mika's relationship had begun to strengthen before the children, it was definitely set in stone now. They were at each other's sides for eternity and he knew that he wouldn't have it any other way. It was a pity that it had taken them so long to learn to love each other for the right reasons, but it came and that was all that mattered.

A quiet knock on his door pulled Touma out of his happy thoughts and he propped an elbow on his desk, resting his head in it.

"Come in," he muttered.

The door slowly moved open and Ryuichi made his way into the office, closing the door silently behind him. The brunette smiled slightly at the blonde and took a seat across from him, crossing his legs Indian-style up in the chair like he always did.

"Hi, Touma," he muttered.

Touma nodded slightly and kept his green eyes locked on the man before him. He would be lying if he said that things between the three members of Nittle Grasper had been peachy for the past few weeks. Actually, they had been anything but. Tensions were strained and it had taken all that they had to not bash each others' faces in.

Ryuichi sighed and dropped his eyes down to his crossed legs, rubbing the hem of his shirt between his thumb and pointer finger. Touma couldn't help but smile slightly. Same man, same nervous habits.

"I'm guessing you came to talk, Ryu, not just sit in a quasi-awkward silence," he chuckled.

The brunette looked up at him, his eyes smiling slightly but his mouth still formed in a small frown, but he didn't bother to make his fingers stop playing. His eyebrows were wrinkled and to say that he looked confused was an understatement. He looked completely lost.

Touma smiled at him and cocked his head to the side, a signal to go on but that he'd wait for eternity if Ryuichi needed it as well. There were too many sides to count in their relationship together. They'd just been through so much for them to just let everything end.

"I…I dunno what to do," Ryuichi finally said, propping his elbows up on his knees and burying his face in his hands. "Everything's just gotten so…messed up."

Touma chuckled quietly. "You're underestimating the situation, Ryuichi."

The brunette picked his head up from his hands for enough time to scowl at the blonde before hiding his face and eyes again.

"Don't mess with me, Touma. I know that we both like to play games but I'm trying to be serious here."

Touma nodded and furrowed his brow. That was a fair hint that Ryuichi was agitated, confused, lost, and…too many other feelings to even name. The blonde sighed and slowly stood up from his chair to take a seat in the leather armchair next to Ryuichi.

"Ryu," he whispered, "I know that everything has…it's just moved so fast and things have happened that shouldn't have happened. But you can't keep thinking about it. You were both stressed and looking for someone or something to care and, at that certain point in time, it just happened that it was Noriko for you and you for Noriko."

Ryuichi didn't look up but he stiffened and turned his head toward Touma. There was nothing more that the blonde could ask for.

"You know that I'm here for you no matter what happens, right?" he whispered.

Ryuichi nodded, but didn't sniff. This didn't surprise Touma, though. He had begun to act more and more like his true self since Tatsuha's death, and it finally let others have a chance to see the man behind the mask. Now they knew that Ryuichi wasn't all just bright smiles and crystalline tears. He was a strong person who had been through things that no one should have had to live through, but he did. And that was what made him so strong.

Touma sighed quietly. "I know how you feel, Ryuichi. Really, I do. But you need to move ahead, okay?"

Ryuichi nodded again but kept his eyes locked on his knees. Touma closed his eyes and ran a hand back through his hair.

"What are you going to do?"

Ryuichi sighed and finally looked up at the blonde, dry trails of tears on his face. "Once the album is released I want to return to America." When Touma opened his mouth to argue, Ryuichi cut him off.

"Not for forever," he insisted, "but long enough for me to get things sorted out. I never got over losing Tatsuha and I need to figure out how to deal with this. I'm not in love with Noriko. Hell, she's a sister to me. But I just…I just need to work things out."

Touma nodded and slouched back in his chair, his green eyes locked on the sapphire of Ryuichi's.
"And you're sure about this?" Ryuichi nodded and Touma sighed. "Alright."

"Thank you, Touma."

Touma shook his head. "Even though I disagree, I can't stop you from going. I'd be lying to myself if I said that you weren't in dire need of a vacation, anyway. I'm just afraid of what's going to happen when you go away again."

Ryuichi closed his eyes. "Don't worry, Touma, I'm-"

"You're not fine, Ryu. You're anything but fine!" he growled, not raising his voice but putting enough force in it to make Ryuichi look at him. "I don't want to be afraid of losing you again."

Ryuichi's lips curved in a half-smile. "You're my brother, Touma, don't worry. I'll be fine, I promise."

Touma shook his head. "I still don't believe you."

Ryuichi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Please don't worry, Touma. Not for me. You have enough stress on your plate with Mika and the kids. You don't need to add me to it."

Touma smiled slightly. "You were on my plate before Mika and I even started dating. Like it or not, I'm going to worry about you, Ryuichi."

Ryuichi nodded and stood up from his chair. "I need to go," he said. "You're probably busy and I should go finish my errands."

Touma nodded and watched silently as Ryuichi walked out of his office and closed the door behind him. When the latch clicked, Touma slumped down into his chair and rested his head back against the headrest. What he'd said to Ryuichi was true. He wasn't just afraid of what would happen when the brunette returned to America, he was terrified. Just knowing that he couldn't be there to help his friend—his brother—whenever he needed help was enough to make him sick. All he could do was pray that Ryuichi would give him a call whenever things started to get hectic.

With a heavy sigh, Touma opened his eyes and set them upon the stack of paperwork awaiting his signature on the corner of his desk. He groaned and stood up from one seat and took a seat in the swivel chair behind his desk and picked up a pen, starting the arduous daily task of signing his life away.

-------------

Shuichi was dashing around the house, cleaning, reorganizing, and whatnot, and quietly humming the newest songs that Bad Luck had recorded in the studio. So, when he ran into the living room and started bustling around, Eiri didn't ignore him but concentrated on the newspaper that he currently had opened in his lap. But soon it got quiet, and quiet wasn't good—wasn't normal. The blonde peeked around the edge of the newspaper and saw the now lime-green, yellow, and raven-haired man standing in the window, his eyes locked on whatever had captured his interest.

Eiri furrowed his brow and folded up the newspaper, taking a sip of his coffee from the mug beside him. "You okay, Shu?" he muttered.

Shuichi nodded but didn't look at the blonde. He kept his gaze out the window instead.

Eiri frowned. "Are you sure?"

Shuichi shook his head and ran out of the living room. With wide eyes, Eiri stood up and began to run out of the room, but Shuichi stopped him in the entryway, his eyes closed and fists held out in front of him.

"Shu…ichi?" Eiri asked, a little weirded out by the man's actions.

"Take them," Shuichi said.

"What?"

"Take them!" he insisted.

"Okay," Eiri said and grabbed onto Shuichi's fists.

The raven-haired man cracked open an eye. "Not those, stupid! What's in them!"

A small smile formed on Eiri's lips and he moved his hands so that they lay open beneath Shuichi's clenched fists.

"Open," he said and caught the items that fell from Shuichi's hands.

Eiri drew his hands to his face and stared at the objects, giving Shuichi a glance when he realized what they were.

"Why are you giving these to me?" he asked.

"Don't you want them?" Shuichi asked, cocking his head slightly to the side and looking all too innocent.

Eiri nodded. "Of course I do, but why are you suddenly throwing your blades at me as if they were candy?"

Shuichi chuckled at that and shrugged. "I don't want to do it anymore."

"What?"

Shuichi sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. "I said that I don't want to do it anymore. I've gone almost a month without it and I really don't want to start again."

The declaration filled Eiri's heart with an innumerable amount of joy and his face lit up with a smile.

"You're lying, aren't you?"

Shuichi's jaw dropped. "I walk in here, hand my blades to you on a silver platter, tell you that I don't want to hurt myself anymore, and you think that I'm lying to you?" He snorted and rolled his eyes again. "You're horrible."

Before he could stop himself, Eiri had his arms wrapped around Shuichi and he held the man in a tight embrace. He knew that he was crying, but he really didn't care. These weren't tears of sadness or despair. They were tears of a tremendous amount of happiness and relief that the blonde had been waiting for months to feel. A pair of arms soon found their way around his neck and Eiri buried his face in Shuichi's wildly highlighted hair.

"You're crying, aren't you?" Shuichi muttered against his chest.

Eiri nodded and pulled away, not wanting to but he needed to look the man in the eye.

"You have no idea how happy I am," he said, wiping at his tears with a thumb. "If it feels this good to just hear you say that you don't want to cut anymore, I can't even imagine how it must feel for you."

Shuichi smiled and wiped away some of Eiri's tears. "It feels amazing," he whispered and placed a light kiss on Eiri's lips.

The blonde smiled and pulled Shuichi back for another one once he pulled away, not failing to notice how he seemed to go slack in his arms.

"I love you, Shuichi," he whispered when they pulled apart. "I really do."

The corners of Shuichi's lips curved up in a small smile and he buried his head in Eiri's chest. The blonde sighed and wrapped his arms around the man. He wanted, no needed Shuichi to tell him that he loved him too, but he knew that he would have to be patient and wait. There was no denying the fact that he'd done some horrible things to the man in the past and he knew that Shuichi would need some time before he was able to say what he needed to hear.

Once again, a pair of arms snaked their way around Eiri, this time around his waist, and clung to him, pulling him closer. Eiri sighed and dropped his head so that his cheek was lying against the top of Shuichi's head.

"I'm sorry," Shuichi muttered after a while of comfortable silence.

"For what?" Eiri asked, nuzzling his face into Shuichi's raven locks.

"For…for not being able to say it," he whispered.

Eiri chuckled and toyed with Shuichi's hair. "There's no need for you to be sorry, Shu," he said. "I understand."

Shuichi shook his head and pressed himself closer to the blonde but didn't say anything else. Eiri closed his eyes and buried his face in Shuichi's hair, inhaling the exotic scents of rainy days and juniper with a twinge of hair dye.

A scream and several thuds rang out behind the two men and they both snapped around. Aiko was curled up on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, her head cradled in her hands. Shuichi immediately ran to her side.

"Are you okay, Aiko!" he shouted, rolling the girl onto her back so he could look into her eyes.

Eiri walked up behind him and grinned at the slightly embarrassed smile on her face. She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Shuichi. I was just trying to be quiet and not ruin the moment," she said.

Shuichi blushed fiercely but busted out in laughter, his entire body shaking. Aiko scowled at him from her position on the floor.

"It's not funny, Shuichi!" she pouted. "Now my ass hurts."

This only caused Shuichi's laughter to become even worse and Eiri had to help the burgundy-haired girl up from the floor.

"Thanks," she muttered, rubbing her backside.

Eiri chuckled. "No problem. Shuichi seems to be rather disabled at the moment."

"Yeah, no kidding," the woman spat, whopping Shuichi across the head with a hand. "And you call yourself my friend? Yeah, right."

"Aiko!" Shuichi pouted, his lips forming that all too irresistible pout that Eiri had fallen victim to numerous times in the past. "I didn't mean it."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right."

Shuichi stomped his foot. "You can't tell me that you wouldn't laugh at me if I fell down the stairs."

Aiko furrowed her brow and was quiet for a moment. "Well…maybe if you were okay."

"And you're perfectly fine," Shuichi said, holding out his hands as if to say Voila.

Aiko snickered. "It was pretty funny, though, wasn't it?"

Shuichi's eyes widened for a moment and then he fell into another bout of laughter, soon to be followed by Aiko. Eiri watched with wide eyes as the two before him doubled over in laughter and tried to suck down air, laughing even harder when they found that they weren't quite able to do so. He shook his head.

"You two are scaring me."

They both turned to him now.

"You know it's funny," they said together.

Eiri smiled a half-smile and shook his head. "Not really. You could've gotten hurt, Aiko."

The girl shrugged. "You should know that I laugh whenever I get hurt doing something stupid by now, Eiri."

The blonde broke out into a full smile and shook his head again. The girl spoke the truth. He couldn't quite forget the time when she and Shuichi had been chasing each other around the house. Once her feet had hit the hardwood of his kitchen floor, they shot out from underneath her and she fell to the ground, crashing into the trash can. And she'd been wearing slippers. He also couldn't forget the time that she'd been showing off to Amarante, Touma and Mika's young daughter, by jumping hurdles over the fence that kept the four-year-old from wandering the rest of the house unattended. When she'd tried to hurdle the fence, her foot clipped the top of it and she went toppling to the ground, the fence, which had folded up perfectly, crashing down with her. Amarante had laughed and laughed at that, and the laughter of a four-year-old girl is hard to ignore.

"Ah, memories, right?" Aiko chuckled, punching Eiri lightly on the arm.

Eiri nodded. "Yeah," he said. "But where were you going?"

Aiko diverted her eyes to the floor and a pretty blush crept up her face. "No where."

The blonde chuckled. "I should know that you're a pretty horrible liar by now, as well, Aiko."

The girl scowled at him, but crossed her arms over her chest indignantly. "For your information, I have a date," she said.

Shuichi grinned. "Really? With who?"

Aiko blushed again. "Um…a guy."

Shuichi looked at the girl as if she were stupid. "No shit, Sherlock. Who?"

The burgundy-haired girl shrugged. "Just a person," she said and grabbed her jacket from the rack by the door. "I'll be home by two at the latest, okay?" When she turned to leave she ran right into Shuichi. She sputtered in confusion for a few moments and then glared at Shuichi. "Move!"

Shuichi shook his head. "Nope. Not until you tell me who he is."

Aiko growled and rolled her eyes. "If you don't let me go, I'll never get another chance with him again."

"All I want to know is a name!" Shuichi said, holding his own in the doorway when Aiko tried to shove him out of the way.

When she realized that there was no way that she was going to move the raven-haired man, Aiko gave up and tried to stare him down. When that didn't work either she growled and stomped her foot.

"Fine!" she spat. "His name is Remi. Now can I please go now?"

Shuichi smiled and stepped out of the way. "Now was that so hard?"

The only response he got before Aiko stormed out the door was a dirty look. The raven-haired man burst out into laughter and watched her leave.

"She hates me," he muttered from behind teeth clenched in a forced smile as he waved the girl out of the driveway.

"I would too if you did that to me," Eiri laughed. "It makes for a nice spectator sport, though."

Shuichi scowled at him and punched him on the chest. "Bastard!" he growled and stomped upstairs.

"Hey!" Eiri yelled. "At least I told you the truth!"

The last response that he got from Shuichi before he disappeared around the corner was an obscene gesture of two middle fingers stuck up behind his head.

"Women," he laughed and walked back into the living room.

Slightly shaking his head, Eiri returned to his armchair and the newspaper who had patiently awaited his return.

-------------

Hiro smiled softly to himself as he sat on the couch in Bad Luck's studio, watching Shuichi belt out the lyrics to another new song. The words flowed from Shuichi's mouth as if they were cherry petals drifting down a stream and as rich and thick as creamy frosting. They came out perfect, as everything Shuichi did was.

"This is rather good," the green-haired man beside him whispered.

Hiro nodded and smiled at Suguru. "Understatement," he whispered.

Suguru chuckled and turned his eyes back onto the raven-haired man singing behind the glass. Ben and Aiko also had their eyes locked on Shuichi, staring off into space as they listened to the music that poured out the speakers. K was currently taking an urgent phone call in the booth down the hallway.

"Is there another side behind the black and white? A place I could meet you by? A place on the other side? I'll let you know when I go. I'll let you know when I go. When I'm gone!…"

Hiro closed his eyes to concentrate on the way that the words melted into the back music of drums, guitars, and synthesizer. Ever since Shuichi had broken the news to them that he was going to quit cutting, the raven-haired man had poured his heart and soul into every word. Not as if he hadn't done it before. It just seemed that every word took on a new meaning when he sang now, even their old songs.

Shuichi wrapped the song up with a long drawn out "So who am I now?" and smiled brightly at the faces behind the barrier that separated them. Suguru got up and stopped the music and the recording.

"How was it?" he asked.

The four of them nodded and Ben ran into the booth to drag the man out.

"Listen to it yourself, man!" he said and Suguru cued up the tape so he could replay it.

The smile that donned Shuichi face when he heard the song played back was something Hiro didn't think any of them would want to disappear. He looked so pleased and at peace with himself whenever he smiled now. It was almost as if he were a completely different person.

When the song finished Shuichi smiled even brighter. "Well, I think that it could use a few tweaks here and there, but, all in all, it's pretty damn good, if I do say so myself."

Aiko laughed quietly and shook her head. Shuichi scowled at her.

"What's so funny?"

The girl shook her head and shrugged. "Is it illegal for me to laugh now or something?"

"Just when you laugh at me," Shuichi said and stood in a wannabe menacing sort of way. Everyone else in the room died with laughter.

"Stop laughing at me!" Shuichi yelled and stomped his foot.

The laughter quickly died down and Shuichi smiled happily. Hiro shook his head at the raven-haired man when their eyes connected and moved his hand in a sign for the man to turn around as inconspicuously as he could. Shuichi seemed to catch on, however, because he turned around and froze.

K was standing in the doorway with his gun pointed right in the middle of Shuichi's face, which had been the back of his head just a few moments earlier. Shuichi laughed carefully and put his hands in the air, his body shaking a bit.

"H-hey, K. What's up?"

The blonde frowned. "Don't talk to me like that. What was all the arguing I heard in here?"

When he was sure that everyone else was still wide-eyed and frozen, Hiro sighed and stood forward. "It was just Shuichi and Aiko getting into one of their little fights. That's all."

K narrowed his eyes slightly but pulled the gun out of Shuichi's face and put it back in its holster. The raven-haired man sighed heavily and slumped over into the chair next to him.

"What the fuck is your problem, K? Sticking a gun in my face like that!"

The American acted as if he hadn't heard a word that Shuichi said. He walked over to the panel and toyed with a few things before putting a pair of headphones on. Even so, the band could easily hear the sound of the song they had just finished emitting from the speakers.

"Not bad," K said and took the headphones off before the song was even over. "It could still use some work, though."

"We already decided that," Shuichi scoffed.

K, once again, threw the comment off with a small shake of his head and he sat down in the chair next to Suguru.

"How much longer until the album is complete?"

The five band mates looked between each other for a few moments and shrugged in unison.

"We're not sure," Suguru said. "Until we get all of the songs that are needed, I guess."

"You all have a month to complete this album before I take matters into my own hands," K said and left the room.

The five looked amongst each other again with furrowed brows. They all knew that they really didn't want K to take matters into his own hands, but he couldn't rush them either. Everything had gone perfectly since the beginning of the new album and it was much too late for things to go crashing down now.

"Think we can do it?" Hiro asked.

The others shrugged.

"All we can do is try," Aiko replied.

Ben nodded. "We have what? Five or six songs already? We did that in a month, right? Now all we need is to record another five or six songs in another month," he said. "I think that things are peachy keen."
Hiro chuckled and shook his head. "I agree."

Shuichi didn't say anything but nodded.

"I think that we're done for today," Suguru said and stood up from his seat. "Tomorrow we can make the final touches on this and then start on the next, okay?"

Everyone nodded and gathered up their things before dispersing. While Suguru and Ben left, Hiro waited outside by his motorcycle for Shuichi and Aiko to leave. They didn't exit the building until a few minutes later.

"Hey!" Hiro called and ran to help them with their load.

Shuichi smiled graciously. "Thank you."

Hiro smiled and shook his head. "No problem."

The three of them loaded the instruments and things into the back of Shuichi's car and Aiko boosted herself up onto the trunk while Hiro and Shuichi chatted.

"You should come up some time," Shuichi said. "It'd be great if you could come whenever Touma, Mika, and the kids are up next."

Hiro shrugged. "I dunno."

"You're not still holding a grudge against Eiri, are you?" Shuichi asked with a frown. "He's okay now. Why won't you believe me?"

"It's kind of hard," Hiro said, shaking his head. "You know how I am about people hurting you."

Shuichi sighed. "That was over six years ago, Hiro," he said. "You know what? I really think that you should come up some time. You'll see what I'm talking about."

It took Hiro a moment to think about it in his head, but he soon sighed, defeated, and gave in. "Fine. I'll come to see little Amarante and Rue."

Shuichi practically beamed and hugged Hiro gently before returning to his car.

"I'll call you next time they're up, okay?"

"Hey, Shuichi!"

The raven-haired man turned around and gave Hiro a questioning look. "Yeah?"

"What do you want? When you figure out what you want, that's when I'll decide what to think."

Even from the distance, Hiro saw Shuichi's eyes widen slightly and then go back to their regular size.

"I'll have to give you a rain check on that one," he said and climbed into his car.

Hiro nodded and waved a quick goodbye. He didn't leave until he watched Shuichi and Aiko pull out of the parking lot and disappear into the sea of vehicles.

-------------

The small silver band glittered in his palm, the moonlight making small pinpricks of light dance across the wall while filling the raven-haired man with old memories. Shuichi sighed. He remembered the day he'd gotten the ring. Or, at least when he'd finally realized that it was on his finger. He and Eiri had been on their way to New York together for the first time. That had been a little over eight years ago. He sighed again and tore his eyes from the band.

Shuichi looked at his reflection in the mirror across from his bed, amethyst eyes boring into amethyst eyes. If he concentrated hard enough, he could see himself with his old vibrant pink hair and large sparkling eyes—eyes full of innocence and purity. He shook his head and ran a hand through his wildly highlighted hair. No! He couldn't go back in time. There was no way for him go back and wish for everything to be perfect, and he refused to just forget about everything that had happened.

But…

The raven-haired man growled in frustration and lay back on his bed. There were so many things that he had to think about.

'What do you want?'

The question echoed through his mind and wouldn't leave him alone. What did he want? Shuichi growled and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. This was all just so damn confusing. Why did any of it even have to happen? Why did he have to meet Eiri on that day what seemed an eternity ago? Why did the blonde have to treat him the ways that he did? Why did he have to leave? Why did he have to fall for Tatsuha? Why did Eiri have to return? Why did he cheat? Why had death been taken from him so many times? Why did he have to move in with Eiri? Why did Tatsuha have to die? Why did Ryuichi have to try to jump off that rooftop? Why was he feeling this way?

Was it love that he was feeling? Or just the residue of their past relationship that still lingered, even after all those years? Shuichi couldn't decide. But he knew that he would have to do it fast, for, although he wouldn't lose his chance with Eiri, Hiro's fuse was going short. The longer he took to decide whether or not to run back into the blonde's arms, the harder it would be for his auburn-haired friend to accept their love.

It took everything that he had for Shuichi to keep himself from screaming out in frustration. He buried his head in his hands and pulled harshly at his hair, clenching his eyes as tightly as they would go.

"What do I want?" he whispered. "What do I want? What do I want? What do I want?"

The repeated words echoed in his room, bouncing off each of the walls and returning to him, only to be repeated again.

Shuichi opened his eyes and held the ring up in his hand, holding it between his thumb and pointer finger. He could easily read the words that were engraved on the inside at the angle he held it at, and no matter where he moved it the words still stood out.

'A love like gravity. Never forget.'

Shuichi sighed and closed his hand around the silver band.

He really needed to rethink things.

TBC…

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A/N: Yay! I actually like how this turned out. Kinda happy, too. Just like me! The first day of December and we've got snow on the ground! YaY! Strange because it seems like it was seventy just yesterday. Oh, well. I love snow!…

Anywho…quite a few of the things that happened in this chapter were drawn from my own life… 1) Whenever I'm nervous, or bored, I tend to rub the hem of my shirt. Weird, I know, but hey… 2) I recently announced to my friends that I was going to stop cutting and/or hurting myself in any other manner. I do still have my blades and such, but I'm also on contract with my therapist. Hopefully it will last… 3) Instead of trying to be quiet and falling down the stairs, I was trying to be quiet and slipped on a blanket. How? I dunno…but I ended up waking everyone…sighs… 4) Both of the things that Eiri remembers Aiko doing, I have done myself. I was running away from my brother when I fell on the floor and I was playing with my dog with the collapsing fence thing… 4) Whenever my mom hears that I have an interest in someone she pins me in a corner until I tell her who… Kinda annoying, but I guess it's motherly love… 5) Just today my friend asked me what I wanted and I told her the same as Shuichi. I really need to rethink things…

I think that's about it, but it's still quite a bit for this chapter. I'm a strange person, huh? Yup, yup. And clumsy and random and sometimes stupid. He, he. But who isn't?…

Okay…I don't have enough time to reply to everyone's thank you's because I want to get this out A.S.A.P., so I'm just gonna make a list. One, though, I have to take the time to reply to…

GravityNeko, xo-silent-whispers-ox, Sour-Skittlez (you logged in that time…he, he…), Annie loves it, Ryu Sakuma, The Amazing Tsu-chan, Ashcat, mr.kusanagi (poke…he, he…wuv ya), animegirl12182, LoveLandKiss, Dhampir, kuriqa (I love you!), Yami Chikara, MangaMamma, Guren, clueless97, ddz008…

All of your reviews were kick ass! I loved all of them…

And…Kayla05…I thank you so much for your review and thoughts. And I can only hope that things for me turn out as well as they have for Aiko-chan, too. She's one lucky girl. But, as I said, I have made the decision to stop SI and find a better, healthier way to cope. I am honored to have inspired you and I thank you much more for having said that. There are no words for me to describe how happy that makes me feel. And, in all actuality, I came up for the idea for this fic before I was actually drawn into the spell of self-injury. Sure, I did it occasionally, but it never really began to control my life until after the New Year started. And, if you look closely, you can tell because that's when Shuichi begins relying on it more and more to live and keep his sanity. But now, like me, he's escaped the deadly—but all so entrancing and welcoming—embrace of the world that is self-injury, for now. Like me, he will always be a cutter who doesn't cut anymore because there's always the chance that he'll remember just how good it felt and he'll pick up the blade again. Age, race, gender…none of that matters. People think that only adolescents cut, but I know of several women and one man over 40 who injure themselves… Anyway, rambling, aren't I? He, he… I just want you to know how much just your review affected me. I'll never give up. Thank you and much love…

Okay…I need to go, but I'll see you all in my next chapter. If it's not until after the New Year then…MERRY CHRISTMACHANNUKWANZICA! (Is that how I spelled it before?) He, he…just like last year… Sorry for any typos in here and I'll catch ya'll later…

Xx—Whatever your religion or ethnicity…Happy Holidays. Much love to you all…—xX