Well…when I originally began this chapter, Aiko had lived at the end of the last chapter and was going to tell Shuichi about her past. There was no suicide note, just him and Eiri finding out about her identity from the doctor and then questioning Aiko about it later… But now…it's completely changed…sighs and shrugs… I tried to write this by keeping Aiko alive, really, I did, but I just got blocked and couldn't describe her past in a way that seemed to be the least bit interesting… Oh, well…
Anywho…on with the chapter, I guess…
Disclaimer: Maki Murakami-sama owns Gravitation, and I am not Maki Murakami-sama… Aiko's song "Metal Heart" by Garbage…and the song "Poetic Tragedy" belongs to, you guessed it, The Used. I only own Takeru and the "she" in "Poetic Tragedy" because I had to change it from "he" so it would make sense…
Poetic Tragedy…
The news had come as a shock. The phone had rang at one o'clock in the morning and Eiri answered it in his groggy voice, already awake because his insomnia was raging again. The cup of coffee he'd had in his hand clattered to the ground and shattered, spilling scalding hot coffee all over the floor and on his feet, but he didn't feel the physical pain. The emotional pain set in like a tidal wave, overcoming his body and drowning him in its torment.
The moment he'd hung up the phone, Eiri what had dashed upstairs, shaking Shuichi awake. The man mumbled and tried to push him away, but Eiri forcefully pulled him out of bed.
"She's dead, Shuichi," he cried. "Aiko's gone."
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The hospital seemed colder than it had only hours ago. The walls felt like they were closing in a little more every second and he couldn't keep the shivers from rippling through his body. Even though he sat enveloped in Eiri's arms, the warmth wouldn't penetrate his bones. His body was as numb as his soul had been the second he'd heard the news.
When they'd arrived, the doctor had told Shuichi and Eiri what had happened, going to the point of telling them her time of death. Unable to control his emotions any longer, Shuichi had let out a painful wail and slumped slowly to his knees, his face buried in his hands. Eiri had fallen next to him and wrapped his arms around him. He'd picked him up and moved with him to the nearest chair, cradling Shuichi in his lap until he'd calmed.
Though he was calm now, Shuichi couldn't keep the pain from digging deeper and deeper into his heart. Aiko was dead…his sister was gone forever.
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Aiko had taken the liberty of preparing her funeral after her first suicide attempt in case she tried and succeeded at a future time. The only things that Shuichi and Eiri had to do was the most difficult of them all—alert the people closest to them and Aiko of the dates and times of the wake and funeral.
As the people lined up at the wake to give Aiko one last visit at her open coffin, he stood in the background, his shoulder length black hair pulled back into a neat ponytail with just enough bangs hanging down to shield his pain filled face.
Takeru Kamiya had made sure that he had been one of the first ones to arrive at the wake services so he could give Aiko her goodbyes in a semi-private fashion. The only people he'd talked to out of the entire group were Eiri and Shuichi, the two people who had been kind enough to call and tell him of her untimely demise. And even now, when there were plenty of other people he could be talking to, Shuichi would retreat to the back of the funeral home ever so often to give Takeru some company and let him know that he wasn't alone.
As the raven-haired singer weaved his way through the crowd and back toward Takeru, the man swiped a hand over his eyes in a failed attempt to dry the tears that had fallen. Shuichi offered him a small, weak smile that was full of pain instead of happiness, and Takeru returned the favor with the same effort and emotion.
"She was an amazing person," Shuichi said.
Takeru nodded and tucked a strand of his long hair behind his ear. "Yes, she was. She was a beautiful person who never should have suffered through the things that she had."
Shuichi nodded but kept silent, as much as he didn't want to admit it, Takeru was glad that the man took the time to stand with him when he knew everyone else in the room around them. He'd barely known Takeru for an hour and yet he treated him as if he was a brother.
"I know that it may be hard and that you don't know anyone here, but would you speak a few words about Aimee for us? You're the one she's known the longest and the one whom she trusted the most."
Takeru fell silent and dropped his emerald green eyes to the hardwood floor. Speak a few words about Aimee? He would love to, but he didn't know what to say. There were just so many good things about the woman that he couldn't fathom ever putting them into one simple speech.
Shuichi seemed to sense his hesitation and he laid a soft hand on Takeru's shoulder. "I know that it will be hard and that it's difficult to decide what to say about her, but jut use a memory. What's the one thing that you remember the most about her?"
Through his tears, a smile twitched at the corners of Takeru's lips as he thought about his most treasured memory between Aiko and himself. He nodded. "I'd be honored to be giving the chance to be a part of my best friend's eulogy."
Shuichi thanked him with a smile and small pat on the shoulder. "When would be the easiest time for you to speak?"
Takeru sighed and closed his eyes, lost in a moment of thought. "Somewhere in the middle, I think."
Shuichi nodded. "You can go after Ben if you want."
Takeru nodded, and Shuichi dismissed himself with another small smile.
Sometime between the visiting and the eulogies there was an uproar at the front doors of the funeral home. Takeru took a moment out of his silent solitude to join the crowd and try to find out what the problem was. He saw the cause of the ruckus almost immediately.
Remi was standing on the home's front porch, a bouquet of roses wrapped in his arms. Shuichi was yelling at the young man so hard that his face was red and tears were streaming down his face. Eiri had a cautious arm wrapped around the raging man's waist to keep him from hitting Remi, but Takeru could tell that it was taking everything the blonde had to keep from snapping Remi's neck.
It took a while, but Remi soon left, leaving the bouquet of roses on the step of the porch, and everyone returned to the main room where Aiko was laid out.
Shuichi was the first to give his tearful eulogy. He shared the story of how he'd met Aiko in the hospital and how he'd grown to love and care for her as if she was his own flesh and blood. He revealed some of the darker days he'd had and how Aiko had helped Eiri to pull him from his pit.
Eiri followed Shuichi. He told everyone how lucky he was to have met as great and beautiful a person as Aiko and that he was honored to have had her as a sister-in-law of sorts. This declaration elicited several small gasps from the few people in the crowd who didn't know of Eiri and Shuichi's long relationship.
A few others that Takeru didn't know followed, but after Ben went, he reluctantly pulled himself from the shadows and walked up to the podium.
"Hello," he said. "Many of you may no know who I am, so let me introduce myself. I am Takeru Kamiya, a long time friend of Aimee. A friend from before the person known as Aiko was ever created.
"Aimee was an amazing person and kind person. She never thought of herself, it was always everyone else when it came to her." He sighed. "The best example I can come up with to describe this is after she first moved to Japan over six years ago.
She hadn't yet attended her first day of school in Japan and I had never seen her face nor heard her name, but I saw her while I went for a walk one day in the park. At that time she knew barely any Japanese and couldn't comprehend much more than the word "baka" when someone spoke to her. But a young girl had tripped and fallen in the park and broken her ankle. Aimee, being the kind person that she is, stopped and tried to ask the girl if she was okay, but she couldn't understand a word that fell from her mouth. The girl's twisted ankle was enough, though." A small laugh slipped past his lips. "She called the hospital, but couldn't get through to them. She hung up the phone and whispered to the girl that she would be okay before she picked her up in her arms and physically carried her to the hospital. She didn't care that she had someplace else to be or go; all she cared about was helping the little girl get out of her pain."
He gave a small smile to finish off his speech and disappeared back into the shadows of the back of the home, where Shuichi was already standing and waiting for him.
"Thank you," he said and gave Takeru a hug.
"No problem," Takeru muttered when they pulled apart, wiping away his few stray tears. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity."
Shuichi laughed quietly. "I couldn't have not had you speak here unless I didn't know that you were here. I may call her my sister, but she's truly yours. She always was."
Takeru shook his head. "No. Even though I knew her longer than you, I know that she cared the world about you and Eiri. The two of you were all she ever talked about when we got together."
Shuichi smiled and clapped Takeru on the shoulder. "You're going to leave now, aren't you?" Takeru nodded and Shuichi smiled again. "Will you keep in touch?"
"You have my phone number if I don't," Takeru said with the first almost happy smile he'd shown in days.
Shuichi nodded and smiled in return and let Takeru leave the home. Before climbing into his car, Takeru threw one last glance back at the building and waved at Shuichi, who was standing in one of the large floor to ceiling windows. Then he started his car and sped off in a cloud of dust.
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"What a week," Shuichi sighed as he and Eiri walked into their home the night after Aiko's funeral.
Eiri nodded. "Yes, and I have a feeling that it won't get any easier for a while."
Shuichi hesitated for a moment then nodded his head. He shrugged his black sports jacket from his shoulders and threw it on the arm of the couch, loosening his tie with his free hand. Eiri's arms wrapped around his waist from behind and the blonde buried his face in the crook of Shuichi's shoulder. He sighed and let his head fall back onto Eiri's shoulder.
"I love you," Eiri whispered, his body shaking.
Shuichi frowned and turned around in his embrace. "And I you," he whispered, wiping away some of Eiri's tears. "Are you okay?"
Eiri nodded. "Yeah, I just…you have no idea how many times I was afraid of losing you. How many times I was afraid that I would have to see your cold body laid out in a casket and watch it be lowered into the ground."
Shuichi's frown deepened and he grasped Eiri's face in his hands. "Don't worry about me," he whispered and kissed Eiri softly on the lips. "It'll be fine. I've gotten better."
"I thought that Aiko had gotten better, but look what happened and…" The rest of Eiri's words slurred into incoherency as he was overcome by sobs.
Shuichi sighed and wrapped his arms around Eiri, burying his face in the man's chest.
"I love you, Shuichi. So much. You have no idea."
Shuichi nuzzled his face against Eiri's shirt and breathed in the deep scent of his exotic cologne. "I love you too, Eiri."
Shuichi pulled himself out of Eiri's arms and grasped his hand, pulling the man upstairs with him and into their bedroom. He slowly undressed Eiri down to his boxers and then himself before pulling the man over to their bed and collapsing onto it. He snuggled into his usual spot, Eiri's side, and draped an arm across Eiri's chest. Eiri's tears had stopped but his hand was still shaking when it went up to rake through Shuichi's hair.
"Promise me…," Eiri whispered. "Promise me that… Promise me…"
"I'll stay with you forever, Eiri. I won't leave your side."
Eiri sighed and his arms tightened around Shuichi's body. "Thank you."
Shuichi responded by snuggling deeper into Eiri's side. Aiko was gone and there was nothing that he could do to bring her back, but he still had Eiri. He wasn't alone and he would make sure that he kept it that way.
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The whole of Bad Luck was still grieving when they returned to the studio the week after Aiko's funeral processions, but Shuichi was still the one that was the most withdrawn. Everyone had been expecting it. He had been the closest of them to Aiko, after all, and it was never easy losing someone you loved.
The first song that Aiko had written and sang on their album was repeating in their ears, the hidden meaning behind the words now painfully obvious. The song poured from the stereo's speakers, echoing in the silent studio. It started in a haunting sort of way with nothing but piano, synthesizers, and her bass backing her words up before the guitars joined in during the chorus.
'I wish I had a metal heart,
I could cross the line.
I wish that I was half as good
as you think I am.
'But now that we know for sure
they're telling lies when they say
no one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies.
You know it's hard to believe anything that you hear.
They say the world is round.'
The synthesizer beats shook the walls and group's soul. Shuichi stifled a sob and Hiro laid an arm across his shoulders for comfort. Ben and Suguru simply stared blankly at the walls. K and Sakano had already left the room.
'Wish I was as big as you;
you'd have to tell the truth.
I'd be nothing you could hurt,
nothing you could use.
'But now that we know for sure
they're telling lies when they say
no one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies.
You know it's hard to believe anything that you hear.
They say the world is round.'
A guitar riff that sounded the opposite of the lyrics filled the studio before being replaced by a better fitting haunting one. It stopped and the synthesizer and drums took over again.
'I want to be dependable.
I want to be courageous and good.
I want to be faithful so I can be heroic and true.
I want to be a friend you can rely on,
you can lean on, and trust.
I want to understand so I can forgive
and be willing to love.'
Ben stood up and wiped the tears from his face before leaving the room. Suguru sighed and closed his eyes against the onslaught of tears that threatened to spill over.
'I wish I wasn't flesh and blood.
I would not be scared
of bullets made with me in mind
for then I could be saved.
'My sweet Lord take care of me, for I think I'm done.
Kiss my mother on her cheek and lay my burden down.
Lay my burden down.
'But now that we know for sure
they're telling lies when they say
no one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies.
You know it's hard to believe anything that you hear.
They say the world is round.
The world is round?
The world is round?
The world is round!'
The end of the song echoed against the walls before coming to an abrupt end. Suguru absentmindedly pushed the off button and silence replaced the loud music.
"I can't believe it," Hiro muttered. "I can't believe she's gone."
Shuichi nodded. "She recorded that song two weeks ago. It seems impossible."
Suguru stood from his chair but didn't say anything.
"Are you going to get the others?" Shuichi asked.
Suguru nodded and left the room.
It wasn't long before the green-haired man had everyone gathered together and back the studio. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for fifteen minutes, none of them acknowledging the other's presence in the room. When he'd had enough of it, Shuichi opened his mouth.
"I wrote a song," he muttered.
The group's ears perked and their attention was turned onto the raven-haired man.
"It's no much, but I wrote it about Aimee." Sadness filled everyone's eyes, but Shuichi wouldn't stop talking. "I know that you probably don't want to hear it, but I had to write it and get it out."
"Can we see the lyrics?" Hiro asked.
Shuichi nodded and dug the wrinkled piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Hiro.
"'Poetic Tragedy', huh?" Shuichi nodded. "It's definitely a fitting title."
When Hiro was finished reading the song, it was passed around the room so all the others could read it. After each of them finished, they nodded and looked up at Shuichi with all of the appraisal they could muster in their eyes.
"That's wonderful, Shuichi," Ben said as he handed the paper back to him.
Shuichi blushed. "Thank you. I wanted something that would describe her and what she went through and…and to let the fans know that she'll always be in our hearts and that I want them to remember her too. This song is my attempt at putting her name and memory out to the world."
"And what a better way to do it than a song?"
"I also wrote another, but I'll save that for later. It's sorta personal at the moment; my way of trying to get how I feel about all this out in paper."
The group nodded and K stood from his seat.
"I think we should wrap it up for today. Even I admit that we need a break." Everyone nodded in thanks. "I say that we take a week-long break and then come home to see what we can do. None of us are in the frame of mind to do work at the moment."
Shuichi furrowed his brow. "What about the…—"
"The deadline?" Shuichi nodded. "Touma's pushed it back, so don't worry about it."
Shuichi nodded and quietly left the studio without waiting for anyone else. He walked through the halls of NG with his head down and wrapped his arms around himself as he stepped into the piercing late fall air outside. He trudged to his car and drove home precariously, not caring what happened. His mind was in another place. His mind was with Aiko.
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Eiri walked into the house with grocery bags gripped tightly in his hands. The house was silent, almost dead. A heavy sense of dread filled his stomach when he realized that Shuichi was supposed to be home. When he'd walked inside, he noticed that none of the windows had been on, but he'd pushed it aside. But that he'd walked inside, he couldn't even hear anything. The television in the living room wasn't on and the hallway up the staircase was pitch-black.
Eiri sighed and dropped the bags off on the kitchen counter. He was over exaggerating, of course he was. He had no reason not to. After losing Aiko the only thing that he'd been able to think about was losing Shuichi as well. The fear of just thinking about it gripped his heart in a tight fist.
He shook his head and quietly went about putting the groceries away in the cabinets and into the refrigerator. Then something caught his attention. It was barely there, but he could hear the sounds of music notes trailing down the stairs just outside the door.
Eiri set the jar of peanut butter he'd had in his hand onto the counter and walked out into the hall. It was louder out there, not much louder but even so, he could tell that the voice belonged to Shuichi. The dread was lifted from his mind and heart and Eiri mounted the stairs.
The door to Shuichi's "study" was just barely ajar and Eiri could now hear the lyrics to the song.
"…cries out to God
or just no one
Is there a point to this madness?
And all that she was…
Is just a tragedy…"
Tears filled the blonde's eyes as he realized who had inspired the song. Aiko… Silently, Eiri pushed the door open and stepped into the room. Shuichi was sitting at his electric keyboard, his fingers dancing over the keys and his eyes closed as he lost himself in the music. Silent tears were falling down his face but they left the music untainted.
"She feels alone
Her heart in her hand
She's alone
She feels alone
I feel…
Then on that last day she breaks
And she stood tall
And she yelled…
And she takes her life…"
The words were mumbled, almost incoherent unless you were really concentrating on them, but Shuichi's voice escalated with every line until he was screaming. Eiri could see that his shoulders were visibly shaking as his fingers kept dancing.
"Then in violent frustration she cries out to God
or just no one
Is there a point to this madness?
And all that she was…
Is just a tragedy."
Shuichi played out the end of the song on his piano but didn't move when he was finished. His fingers stayed on the keys and he had his eyes locked on the wall in front of him, staring at the only Bad Luck poster that had been made with Aiko included in the group.
"God dammit, Aimee! Why did you have to go!" he screamed. "Why did you have to leave?"
Shuichi collapsed against his piano, a dull musical chord echoing through the room as he landed on the keys, and a sob tore out of his throat. Eiri was at his side in an instant, his arms wrapped around Shuichi to try to get him to calm down.
"She wasn't supposed to leave us. She was supposed to stay with us and be happy. We were supposed to be a family," he cried. "Why did she have to leave?"
"I don't know, Shu," Eiri whispered while he ran his fingers through Shuichi's hair. "I don't know."
Shuichi sat up from the keyboard and wiped his tears away, smiling weakly at Eiri. "Sorry."
Eiri shook his head. "No, you have every right to cry. She was your sister."
"No," Shuichi whispered. "She was Takeru's sister. We took her from him."
Eiri furrowed his brow. "Did he say that?"
Shuichi scowled and glared at Eiri from beneath his bangs. "What do you mean?"
"Did he ever say that to you? Did Takeru ever come up to you and say 'Hey, bastard. Thanks for stealing my little sister?'" Shuichi didn't say anything. "No. He was glad that Aimee had found others to rely on and that she'd finally had a chance to be happy."
Shuichi shrugged and reluctantly stood from his bench. "Well, I would've been upset."
Eiri laughed. "Well, that's why you're not Takeru and he's not you."
Shuichi rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, leaving Eiri behind to smile at him weakly.
It had been two weeks since Aiko's funeral and a week since they'd met with Takeru last, and Shuichi was still blaming himself for everything. Takeru had thanked them for everything that they'd done for Aiko, even told them that she would have never gotten better if it hadn't been for their help, but Shuichi must have been lost in his own world like he usually was nowadays.
But he was still alive and hadn't cut and that was all that Eiri could really ask for. He didn't know what he would do if he'd lost even more people that he'd cared about.
"First Tatsuha, and now Aimee," he whispered and closed his eyes. "One murder and one suicide. Hopefully no one else will leave us."
He sighed and stood from the bench and followed Shuichi's trail downstairs. The raven-haired man was sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the television screen as the video for Bad Luck's latest video played. "Let Go". The song had only been released two days before Aiko's suicide and it had reached number two in less than a week. The fans of Bad Luck loved it.
Eiri closed his eyes and leaned against the doorway while he submersed himself in Aiko's voice. It was beautiful and one could feel the emotion she poured into it, just like Shuichi.
Eiri moved to the couch and sat down by Shuichi. He sighed and curled up into Eiri's side, resting his head on the crook of his shoulder.
"She may be gone, but she'll never be forgotten," Shuichi whispered.
Eiri nodded and gently kissed the top of his head. "Music immortalized her."
TBC…
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A/N: Yeah…this is kinda short and I won't be surprised if most of you don't like it, but I do like it. I like Takeru too. He won't be a big player in the last chapters, but I had to have him in there for Aiko/Aimee's funeral. You'll see him a few more times, though… Most likely with Eiri and Shu or something…
I don't have much else to say except thank you to:…
sour-skittlez, yamiKitsune, lovelandkiss, Blue weary black angel, Dhampir, PsychicAlchemist, and ku-chan. You guys are awesome and thank you so much for your reviews…
Alright…off to work on something else or the next chapter. I haven't decided yet. He, he… Thanks again…