OMFG! Is she actually updating?…

:sighs: Yes…I'm actually updating, believe it or not. Bleh… Explanation…I've run out of inspiration for "ILaH." 'Tis as easy as that. All I've been able to work on and think about is my KH fic which is now 8 chapters long and still needs to be posted on someplace other than my livejournal. But I WILL finish this because I owe it to you guys and myself. I've never actually finished writing something this long before. I'm excited…

Disclaimer: Me no owny Gravi…

Soundeffects and Overdramatics…

T-minus three days and counting until the concert…

The onslaught of nerves made it difficult for anyone to eat, much less sleep. Shuichi found himself sitting in his armchair in front of the window more often than naught at night, while Eiri still lay in bed, blissfully unaware of the nerves that were tearing at his boyfriend's body.

Shuichi sighed and took a deep swallow of coffee from the mug he cradled between his hands. He didn't mind the insomnia all too much. It gave him time to think and he loved watching the sun rise—how every morning it was different. With the sweet, almost silent sounds of Amy Lee's voice drifting through the air of the living room, he found himself relaxed. He loved their version of the Evanescence song "October," but nothing could beat the power and amazingly haunting sound of Amy Lee's voice as the lyrics flowed from the speakers.

He sighed again and nuzzled down into the chair, setting his mug on the table beside him. His thoughts slowly drifted to Aimee. He'd found himself thinking about her a lot lately. This would have been their first tour with her included in the band, but she was gone. His eyes drifted closed as his emotions started to rage. Even though she had left the letter, he didn't know why she had thought she'd had to leave them.

Takeru. His thoughts slowly drifted to the long-haired man who had become one of his good friends in the painful time. Takeru was strong, a lot stronger than Shuichi could ever hope to be, but he needed to show his emotions more. Only when he was around Shuichi did Takeru show any hint of pain or despair. Any other time, he did his best to hide his eyes behind his long bangs, his barrier against the rest of the world.

He hadn't seen much of Takeru lately. He'd called him several times and only been able to talk to him once or twice. For some reason, Shuichi knew that he'd locked himself away in his apartment, but he never answered the door when Shuichi would go to visit him. It irked the singer to no end.

Just when he was starting to open up, everyone around him was starting to lock themselves away. At least, that's what it felt like to him anyway. Eiri was confining himself to his study more and more so he could work. The only times Shuichi really got to talk to Hiro anymore was at work, and that was only about work stuff. He and Suguru had never been very close, but they talked even less than before now. K and Sakano were their usual distant selves, always sticking to "more important things," as they liked to call them. They only member of Bad Luck who talked to Shuichi outside of the studio was Ben. They met for coffee a couple of times and just sat and talked. It helped, just having one person who he could still talk to.

And the sensation for him to cut was hardly there anymore. He'd had a difficult time for a while after he'd given Eiri his blades, but now it had all but disappeared. He still felt he want to do it when he was stressed out, but he didn't feel the need for it anymore. There was a line in his mind that separated want and need, and he was glad that cutting had decided to stay on the want side. Maybe the want to do it would disappear over time. He didn't know. All he had to do was sit back and let things work themselves out. It was no use for him to get mixed up in things that didn't matter to him anymore.

Shuichi opened his eyes and gazed out the window. Small rays of sunlight were beginning to light up the sky. Bare hints of orange and red had started to mix with the dreary dark blue of the four-thirty in the morning sky. He smiled and grabbed his mug to take another sip of his coffee, cringing at how cold it had gotten.

He climbed out of the chair and took his cup to the kitchen with him. He dumped the last of his coffee into the sink and refilled it with warm coffee, adding to it some cream and sugar for taste. He didn't know how he did it, but Eiri always drank his coffee black. Shuichi crinkled his nose. Black coffee always left a lingering aftertaste in the back of his throat.

Speaking of the devil… Shuichi was just settling back into his chair when he heard the quiet squeak of the bedroom door's hinges from the story above. He took a small sip of his coffee and looked up in time to see Eiri look down at him. He smiled halfheartedly at the blonde and returned his attention to the rising sun out the window. He would give Eiri the opportunity to make conversation. He was sick of being the one to come up with a topic to talk about.

Eiri padded down the stairs and went to the kitchen to make his own cup of coffee. He walked into the living room a few minutes later and settled down into the couch across from Shuichi, his amber eyes locked onto Shuichi as he took a quick drink of the steaming cup. Shuichi didn't make an effort to draw his eyes away from the window.

"What's wrong?"

The question made Shuichi jump. He tore his eyes away from the window and let them linger on his boyfriend's face for a moment before they moved to the cup of coffee he held in his own hands. Small swirls of lighter brown mixed with the café color of the milk mixed in his coffee.

"Nothing, why?"

Eiri laughed quietly. "You're lying."

Shuichi returned his gaze to the blonde with a glare. "No, I'm not. What makes you think that I'm lying?"

Eiri rolled his eyes and shook his head as he settled back into the couch. "You've been locking yourself away. I don't know if it's because of the concert coming up or if you've started to fall into depression again, but I don't like it. It's starting to worry me."

Shuichi sighed and dropped his eyes to the floor. Was he locking himself away? To him, it seemed that everyone else was locking themselves away. But that was how it had felt before as well, when in actuality, everyone had been open and waiting for him to go to them to talk. Was his depression coming back again? Gods, he hoped not. But he didn't know what to do if it was.

"To tell you the truth, I dunno what's wrong with me. Everything just seems so jumbled up. I mean, there's only…what…two or three days left 'til the opening concert of the tour. And you've been locked away in the study working on your novel. It's like we never get to spend any time together anymore."

Eiri sighed and stood from the couch. He crossed to the chair and lifted Shuichi into his arms, moving around so he was sitting in the chair with Shuichi in his lap. He carefully pulled the mug of coffee out of Shuichi's hands and set it on the table beside them, then wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

"Shuichi, I love you. You know that, or at least, I hope you do. I love you more than words can say and I'm sorry that things have been so busy for us both lately. But I want to do something with you before the tour starts and you have to leave. I promise. You'll love it."

Shuichi sighed and snuggled into Eiri's embrace. "Why can't things just be calm for once? We've had four years where fans and critics have thought we've been taking a break, but they've been some of the craziest days of our lives."

Eiri sighed and nodded, squeezing his arms around Shuichi. "Yeah, I know, but they'll forget all about that once you're back out there with music. Your album has already sold a million copies and almost every concert is sold out. You're back in the big time, Shu. I want you to enjoy it. Don't fall back into depression again and don't worry about everyone and everything around you. Worry about you for once."

Shuichi laughed quietly. "Inspirational talk? Hm…I like it."

Eiri snorted and Shuichi looked up at him with a small smile on his face.

"What? I was telling the truth. I like it when you get all deep and stuff when you talk. It makes for interesting conversation."

Eiri rolled his eyes and kissed Shuichi gently between the eyes. "You're weird." He stood with Shuichi in his arms and replaced the raven-haired man in the armchair.

"But you still love me!" Shuichi sang.

Eiri shrugged as he walked into the kitchen. "Only because you forced me to."

Shuichi narrowed his eyes and made a small "psh"-ing sound. He glared at Eiri as he walked out of the kitchen and kept his arms crossed tight over his chest. The blonde smiled at him and crossed the room. He knelt down on the floor in front of the chair and Shuichi looked away. Eiri sighed.

"I was just kidding, you dolt."

Shuichi shrugged but didn't look at him.

Eiri laughed quietly and turned Shuichi's face so he could look at him. He offered him a small smile before kissing him. It was a chaste and sweet kiss, one that was full of love and kindness. It was a kiss that relayed everything they felt for one another.

He smiled slightly when he pulled away and ran a gentle hand down the side of Shuichi's face. "I love you."

Shuichi nodded. "I love you too."

Eiri smiled and pushed himself up from the ground, cringing when his ankles popped quietly. "I'm going to go work for a bit, okay? I need to get this chapter done today, but I promise that we'll spend tomorrow together, alright?"

Shuichi nodded and watched Eiri head back up the stairs. The quiet click of a door closing let him know that the blonde was stowed away in his study and Shuichi sighed. Snuggling deeper into the chair, he locked his eyes on the sky out the window and finished watching the sun rise.

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T-minus two days and counting until the concert…

Touma sighed quietly and copied his signature on yet another piece of paper. For what? He couldn't remember. He'd stopped reading and caring after the first half an hour of paperwork. But he guessed he couldn't complain. It had been his decision to create a multi-million dollar recording studio, hadn't it? It wasn't like he'd been forced into it or anything.

A quiet knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts and Touma looked up, setting his pen onto his desk with a small clap. "Come in."

The door opened and Ryuichi walked in silently, a small smile on his face when he looked at his friend. Touma sighed and returned the smile, glad to be dealing with what looked to be a semi-happy Ryuichi for once…finally.

"Hi, Ryu. How are you doing?"

The brunette sighed and plopped down into one of the armchairs across from Touma's desk. "Good," he said with a grin. "Very good actually. I can't wait for the tour to start. It's been ages since we've toured."

Touma smiled and nodded. "Yes, it has. Longer than it's been for Bad Luck, I think."

"I can't wait to tour with Shuichi. It's gonna be fun!"

Touma kept smiling and listened as his friend began to talk about all the things he was looking forward to about the tour. A small thought drifted through his head…one from almost four months ago of a Ryuichi wanted to return to America the moment their album debuted on store shelves. He sighed. He liked this Ryuichi much better. He'd been happy for the past couple of months and hadn't shown any signs of relapse. It was nice.

When Ryuichi finally finished, Touma chuckled and shook his head. "I'm glad that you're so enthusiastic, Ryuichi. It's nice. Not only has Shuichi-san gotten better, but I think that you have too."

Ryuichi nodded and grinned. "Yeah. And it feels good to not have to worry about so much anymore. I appreciate everything more and enjoy the light that shines on my face, such a change from the darkness I wadded in for so long."

Touma nodded. "And it's nice to know that I can trust you on your own again. You're my best friend and I'll always worry about you, no matter what, but that was too much."

Ryuichi nodded, a sad glint forming in his eyes. "Yes. And I'm sorry for that. I worried everyone too much. I shouldn't have been so stupid."

"No. You weren't stupid. You were being Ryuichi…thinking irrationally and keeping your eyes set on only what you wanted. But you've realized that it was a mistake and that life can still go on."

Ryuichi sighed and smiled slightly. "Yeah, I guess."

Touma frowned and cocked his head to the side, surveying Ryuichi's face carefully. "What's going through that head of yours, Ryu? And don't you dare try to tell me nothing."

Ryuichi shook his head and blinked a couple of times, an obvious sign that he was pulling himself back into reality. "No. It's really nothing, Touma. I've just been thinking about things lately, is all. Nothing bad."

Touma laughed and shook his head. "You and thinking have never been good friends, Ryu. Thinking always ends up upsetting you."

Ryuichi shrugged and rested his head against the back of the chair, closing his eyes. Touma took the cue that he wanted silence, but couldn't keep quiet for very long.

"What have you been thinking about?"

Ryuichi snorted. "Nosy little bastard, aren't we?" he joked.

Touma laughed and shrugged, shaking his head. "Only when it comes to those I care about, and other certain…business affairs that I think need my attention."

"I can only guess what you're talking about."

"Probably."

Silence fell again and Touma found himself fidgeting. It disgusted him in a way. He had never been one to fidget nervously or impatiently when he wanted something. He would sit and smile that eerie smile of his that he'd perfected over the years until the person he was facing broke and told him what he wanted to hear. Unfortunately, years spent around Touma made Ryuichi immune to the smile and pretty much anything else the blonde threw at him to try and get him to break.

Touma sighed. "Please, Ryuichi? You're not thinking about going back to America, are you? Not now."

Ryuichi shook his head. "When we have a tour coming up? I'm not that stupid, Touma. You oughta know that, at least."

"Then what is it? You're not blaming yourself again are you? Because none of it was your fault, it never was and never will be so if you are blaming yourself you need to stop."

Ryuichi's eyes snapped open and he glared at his friend. Touma closed his mouth immediately.

"Yes, I'm thinking about Tatsuha, but I'm not blaming myself anymore. It wasn't me; it was the idiot in the car that killed him. And if it hadn't been the car that had taken his life, it would have been him sooner or later because life was starting to drive him insane."

Touma sighed quietly and ran a hand back through his hair. "I'm sorry, Ryu. I just can't help but worry about you."

Ryuichi laughed. "What's gotten into you, Touma? It's not in your nature to worry so much."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Two kids, a suicidal best friend, a suicidal Shuichi, and the death by suicide of Akio can do this to a person." He looked at Ryuichi thoughtfully. "Give me a good reason why I should go back to not worrying about anything and neglecting my wife, now family."

"Shut up."

Touma shrugged and stood from his seat. "We have a big tour starting soon. I'm sure Fujiwara-san could use another hand if you want something to do. Shuichi could use the company since Suguru, Ben, and Hiro seem to think it's his fault that they're doing extra work."

Ryuichi sighed, then smiled and pushed himself up from the armchair. He quickly embraced Touma and made his way to the door, but stopped halfway there.

"Thank you, Touma. You know, for everything. You could have just abandoned me, but you didn't, and I owe you my life for that."

Touma shrugged. "Not only are you my best friend but you're family. I couldn't sit back and watch you destroy yourself."

Ryuichi nodded and gave a small smile before leaving the office. Touma settled back down into his chair and stared at the oak surface of the door for a moment while he got his thoughts in check. With a quick shake of his head, he grabbed his pen and set the tip to a piece of paper for what felt like the ten millionth time that day.

Such was the life of a company president.

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T-minus one day and counting until the concert…

Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper were gathered on the stage of Zepp Tokyo, the well-known beats of Queen's "Under Pressure" playing in the background while they made the final preparations for the concert tomorrow. Ryuichi and Shuichi were huddled next to the CD player with headphones over their ears, listening to "Under Pressure" in a final attempt to make sure they had everything perfect. The pitch of their voices, the beats to the song. They had to make sure they did a perfect collaboration that would rival the original version itself.

"Hey, Shu!" Hiro called and slid the headphones back from his friend's ears so he'd be able to hear what he was saying. "I think we have the song down pat. How about you guys?"

Shuichi shrugged and tapped Ryuichi on the shoulder. The god pressed the pause button on the CD player and slid the headphones back from his ears, a curious frown on his face.

"How are you doing with getting the lyrics?" Shuichi asked.

Ryuichi laughed. "Are you kidding me? I've known this song for years now. I just like listening to it."

Shuichi rolled his eyes and glanced back at Hiro. "I guess that means we're good too, then. You wanna try it out really quick?"

Hiro shrugged and glanced over his shoulder at Suguru, Ben, Touma, and Noriko, who were all gathered around an upside down box that had notes scattered across it. "I don't think it'll be necessary. We can practice it during sound check tomorrow. We're all exhausted. We need rest so no one passes out or anything like that tomorrow." His eyes jokingly lingered on Shuichi as he said that.

The raven-haired man smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Yeah. I guess you're right. Let's wrap up."

Hiro nodded and returned to the small group around the box while Shuichi and Ryuichi started to clean up their own mess. They left the club as a group, giving waves and small embraces as they went their separate ways and promised to meet at their designated area tomorrow, on time. Shuichi gave another sheepish grin at that as he climbed into his car and waited for everyone to leave the parking lot before he headed home himself.

The drive felt longer than it should have. He felt himself give a heavy sigh of relief when he pulled into the driveway of he and Eiri's home. The only light in the house that he could see from the outside was the pale blue glow of Eiri's computer in his study.

Sighing again, Shuichi threw his knapsack over his shoulder and trudged inside. He walked up stairs and toward their bedroom, rapping once on the study door to let Eiri know that he was home safe and sound from the practice, and changed into a pair of pajama pants before crawling into bed. He was halfway asleep when his lover came into the room and crawled into bed beside him, wrapping a protective arm around his waist.

"Long day?"

Shuichi nodded and snuggled into the blonde for warmth and security. Eiri chuckled and the last thing Shuichi felt before he fell asleep was the gentle kiss to his temple.

TBC…
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A/N: Okay…I don't like this chapter, but I absolutely HATE the ending. Just figured I would jump out there and say that. It's completely and utterly horrible and I deserve to have rocks thrown at me for writing something this bad, but… it's something, right? At least it's an update. That's the only thing that makes me feel moderately better about it…

Anyway…I've started chapter 30 already and plan to have it done by Halloween. It has to be done by Halloween because that's when I want to update it…2 years to the date of when I posted the first chapter. Hurrah! :cries: I just don't wanna end it because I hate writing endings and I'm afraid that it will be even worse than this was…

Thank you so much to you guys who reviewed last chapter. You know who you are. You're the ones who kept me going to write this chapter…mostly Danie and Trav and whoever decided to randomly question me on AIM but I love everyone else too. So much…you're all amazing!…

Ja matta ne! See you all on the 31st!...:runs of crying:...