I'm sorry...this is short. REAL short. But I should update tomorrow:)

It's late afternoon. The sky is beginning to turn from blue to yellow, very slowly. Collins and Roger share a bag of chips in the Loft. Roger is in an 'open' mood and the two friends are happily discussing Angel, who is asleep on the couch again, Mimi and April. Collins is making the most of Roger's honest mood and asking him about a variety of things. I'm still out. Freezing my ass off, standing in line for a hotdog. It's about an hour before everyone should be meeting in the Life Cafe.

Collins resisted the temptation to take the last chip from the bag, and left it for Roger. Instead he brushed the crumbs off his fingers and on to his lap. Off his lap and on to the floor.

"...so sometimes I wonder, what is the point of helping her?" Once he had finished speaking, Roger helped himself to that last chip. Munching away while waiting for an answer from Collins. It felt good to rattle off his worries to someone. He rarely told Mark everything, because he would always have to face him the day after saying it. It was better with Collins. He was generally more of a helping person, and would often be away for days at a time. Long enough for Roger to think that he had forgotten everything he had been told.

"Ah, but there is a point," stated Collins, with promising potential. "You love her...don't look at me like that Roger, you know you do..." He shook his head and continued, "and your love ain't gonna get very far if you just give up on it." Roger gave a sarcastic laugh and interrupted Collins rudely.

"What do you know? Have you ever had to try to love Angel?" He rushed on before Collins could argue with him. "No. You two are just perfect together. It just happened with you two. It's not like that with Mimi. Everyday I'm trying...sometimes I manage it and sometimes I don't..." Roger cast his eyes to the floor, not wanting Collins to see how much Mimi did actually mean to him, "...sometimes I just give up." Collins felt a rush of sympathy for his friend, but he was almost happy that he knew what the real problem was. Now it would be all that much easier to solve. But he could feel his own problems weighing heavily on the back of his mind, and he had to share before it was too much for him.

"It's not so perfect for me and Ang."

"What?" Roger pulled his gaze up to look square at Collins, almost instinctively checking if he was joking. He had always seen those two as the perfect couple. You could just tell how much they loved each other from studying a single glance. They could be talking to two different people about two different things, but still they would be holding hands, or stealing glances at each other's smiles, or even just thinking about each other. Collins could be talking about the headlines of that weeks newspaper, but if you looked in his eyes, there was a constant stream of 'Angel-Angel-Angel'. It was a struggle to believe that there was a weak link in the chain.

"We have our problems," he went to continue, but felt as if his explanation was stuck in his throat. Perhaps it would be better for him not to tell Roger. His friend was already troubled, and surely he didn't need Collin's worries on his back too. When Collins finished his sentence there, Roger reached across and shook his arm.

"Tell me," he prompted. Collins shook his head, but what he wanted to say came out anyway.

"It's just...sometimes..." He took off his hat and ran the black material through his fingers, concentrating on that meant that he wasn't constantly thinking about what he was saying, which was a good thing in this situation. "She's such an optimist sometimes..." He felt immediately stupid for choosing that at the major flaw that was bothering him, and laughed. "I mean, that's not such a bad thing! But sometimes she's so set on seeing things as perfect, and wonderful, and she tried to be happy all the time. She forgets about the bad things, the serious things, and sometimes they can matter." He was getting puzzled looks from Roger, so hurried on to explain himself. "It's like, she's in her own world and she doesn't see what's happening. She doesn't see what's happening to her...to Mimi...to you and me." Roger caught on slowly and nodded. He half wished he could put it right out of his mind like Angel did.

"I know what you mean," Roger said quietly. "Mimi is kinda like that." Collins almost sighed out of relief. He had felt a worry that Roger would be completely shocked by his problem. Which he realised now, was never likely.

"She is?" Collins asked encouragingly, wanting to draw the attention away from himself for a moment.

"Yeah, I wouldn't say she was an optimist...but she doesn't seem to know what she's doing to herself, and she hates it when I tell her. Like she's trying to block it out. Sometimes I think I'm the only one that sees it..." He looked Collins in the eyes and grinned. He returned the smile. Both of were glad to be rid of their problems. "But now I know I'm not."

I think Roger thinks he is completely alone sometimes. He thinks I am completely oblivious to what is going on, but I'm not. I see what is happening to everyone too.

Sometimes it's all I see.