Gifted to a wonderful person maclynn

I challenged myself to try and tell a story without too much angst and sex, in exactly 1,000 words. This was the result.

My Sister Thinks I'm a What?!

October 2006

The proprietor of the ice cream shop gave the trio a broad grin as they entered. "It's about time you kids turned up. Your pal is about ready to help my boy bus the tables for free."

"Oh! There must be something new and exciting happening at the shop." Tot squealed with glee as she dragged her companions to their favourite booth.

"100 yen says it's Ken's problem, itoshi." Nagi turned to his lover.

"No bet." Omi laughed. "If Yamada san's description is accurate, I'm sure he's the one in hot water."

True enough, Ken pounced on the trio the moment they entered into his field of vision. "Please! You gotta help me out! Ran's ready to kill me as much as look at me."

"Oh, this has got to be good." Nagi grinned at him unsympathetically as he slid into the booth beside him. "Spill it Hidaka. What did you do?"

"It wasn't intentional! Honest! Aya-chan-- she was trying to grill me about Ran again; about why he's-- ashamed to face her."

Omi winced at the description of the situation. "He's just being stubborn."

"Poor Aya-chan." Tot pouted sadly. "Ran-kun is so serious about keeping her innocent."

Ken's face flushed bright red at her words, prompting Nagi to question him suspiciously. "Okay, I take it you didn't spill the beans on Ran-kun's real work."

"Heh. Worse." Ken admitted in a very small voice. "She checked up on her old hospital bills. And now has him painted in her mind as a piteously self sacrificing elder brother doing his best to provide her a comfortable life."

"That doesn't sound too bad?" Tot blinked at him in surprise.

"Oh, no." Omi shook his head as he studied Ken's ashen features. "So what kind of employment did Aya-chan think her brother is engaged in which pays so well?

"High end prostitution."

Tot and Nagi burst into gales of laughter before they could control themselves while Omi winced sympathetically. "Oowww. Ran-kun must have been mad."

"Furious…"

Youji and Schuldich filled the store with peals of laughter as Ran held Ken up by his lapels and yelled in his face. "My sister thinks I'm a what?!"

An angry Ran tended to throw things. Case in point, he once threw his katana at Takatori Reiji who was escaping him in a helicopter, which considering how much he loved that sword was a rather stupid thing to do. But who ever said that Ran could be rational when he was angry? And being the something that Ran was currently lifting in his hands right now, Ken didn't want to be thrown.

"She caught me off guard with her questions. She left me gaping like a gold fish! I mean, I never expected her to ask me questions like that.

"She even asked me if you had HIV."

"Ooi! Not at all!" Schuldich was outraged by the mere suggestion. "We practise safe sex. Don't you with Aya-chan."

Ken stared in aghast at the German for asking him about sex with Aya-chan right in front of her protective elder brother. "No!"

"What? You don't practise safe sex with my sister?!"

"No!"

"Then you do practise safe sex with my sister?"

"Yes! I mean No!"

"So you've been practicing safe sex without my sister?"

"Yes! Wait, no!"

"You've been cheat--"

"No!"

"Then who are you are having safe sex wi--

"Wait! Wait! That's not what I meant! I haven't had sex with her yet!" Ken girly screamed in the face of his future-brother-in-law. "And while I do practice safe sex, I haven't had sex with anyone else since we got together! Don't kill me!"

"Geeze, Ran. Talk about double standards." Schuldich poked him with a discarded flower stem to get his attention off the suffering Ken. "You've had sex out of wedlock."

"We're not talking about me. We're talking about my baby sister."

"Who is what? Twenty-three already?"

"I've never known a virgin that old." Youji looked thoughtful.

"Kudoh." Both Ran and Ken turned on him with an air of menace.

"Ack! I was only commenting on the fact!" Youji hastily waved his be-ringed hand in front of his face to ward off the death glares. "This means something to me, you know?"

Ran's face softened as he eyed the ring and looked down at the matching rings that he and Schuldich wore. "You're off the hook. But you!" His attention was back on Ken.

"I'll work out something! Honest!" Ken pleaded with Ran.

"And here you are." Nagi attempted to look sympathetic, but he was trying too hard to hold back his laughter to succeed.

"Please! I'm at the end of my rope." Ken brought his hands together to beg his sometime cohorts. "There must be something we can say or do to convince Aya chan that Ran is doing something else which makes it necessary for him to keep his distance."

"Well-- I think I've got just the thing." Tot grinned at Ken confidently.

"You showed her what? And now she thinks I'm a what?"

"James Bond DVDs, and you're now a quasi government secret agent." Tot looked up at him appealingly as she twisted her scarf in her hands.

It was most unfortunate that Ran was at that moment holding a broom in front of him. On either side of him, in a perfect demonstration of how like-minded they could be, Youji and Schuldich struck a pose with a ball of florist twine and a water sprayer respectively, while humming the theme song to Charlie's Angels.

"Oh, Persia." Schuldich hammed it up with a falsetto as he brought his imitation gun to his cheek. "What kind of mission have you got for us this time?"

"Oh yes." Youji purred breathlessly. "Will you ever let us see your face and find out who you really are?"

Omi decided to save his lovers from collateral damage and escape from the store when Ran turned to brandished his broom at his. Life was never dull with this family.

owari

Thanks for reading. Hope the story gave you a laugh.

Cheers,

firewolf