Black Kitten: Hi, minna-san! First of all, I'd like to apologize for the long wait. I'm really sorry about it.
Schu: And what's your excuse this time?
Black Kitten: Oh, there was Advent, mulled wine, Christmas, mulled wine, New Year's Eve, mulled wine, ski vacation, mulled wine, mulled wine, and, er, mulled wine.
Schu: #rolls eyes# That's your only excuse? Pity.
Black Kitten: #blushes# And in the meantime, I was busy drawing stick-figure sex scenes of Aya, Schu, and Yohji.
Schu: OO #takes ten steps away#
Black Kitten: But it was just so much fun making those pictures! Really! I even made S&M scenes!... Er... On to the story.
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Disclaimer: To whom it may concern Weiß Kreuz doesn't belong to me. It's the property of Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiss (if my sources are correct). And I don't make money out of writing this story.
Warnings for this chapter: I did this chapter in a rush so please don't throw stones at me for it. And there's something like cuddling… or so.
"blah blah" … thoughts… /telepathy/
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Author: Black Kitten's Dream
Title: This is SO not happening!
Part 6
A sharp intake of breath broke the silence of the darkness, followed by noises of rustling. The air was getting warmer around the two moving bodies and was steadily filled with heavy breathing. A whimper sounded through the blackness of the tunnel which spiralled itself into loud moaning only to be ended by a shuttering sigh.
Silence reigned once more.
"Are you finally comfortable enough, Schuldig?"
"Hm? Yes, I am."
Schuldig was in heaven. Sighing softly, he snuggled closer to Aya and pressed his face deeper into the younger man's neck. The skin was so soft and warm, and the scent of Aya was something he could inhale the whole day long. He took another deep breath in order to fill his lungs with this almost beguiling aroma. Oh yes, this was heaven.
"Stop sniffling!"
"I'm not sniffling, Aya. I'm breathing."
"It… tickles."
"Gott, you are one unromantic fellow."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Aya was in hell. He had just found out that he had more erogenous zones than he had ever thought of, and Schuldig was attacking one of them mercilessly. The German's breath washed warmly over the very sensitive skin of his neck, and each breath was pure torture. And the feeling of the warm body firmly pressed against his back like a lover's embrace wasn't helping either. Not to forget the teasingly stroking fingers of the hand almost casually planted on his left hip.
It was pure agony, and Aya didn't know how to react, despite the fact that he couldn't react at all. There wasn't much space, pushed into immobility like he was, lying on his right side with his front against the stony wall. The only thing he could do was to try to hold back the shivers that threatened to run up and down his body with every new breath Schuldig let loose. And to ignore the warm body behind him. And the slowly wandering fingers. And the treacherous feeling that was slowly spreading through his... groin.
Aya's eyes widened in realization. Oh Kami-sama, please, no! I'm reacting! This can't be! But Kami-sama was deaf to his fanatically pleading, and then Schuldig did the terrible thing of moving again, pushed him and his slowly but constantly raising manhood further against the wall. Aya's raw nerve snapped.
"I knew it! You are just rubbing yourself on me!"
"I refuse to comment this abstruse accusation, Aya."
"Fine, then could you be so nice and tell me your problem?"
Schuldig blinked in confusion. Apparently, Aya was in denial of the whole situation and it looked as if the younger man's nerves weren't the strongest at the moment. To avoid further complications, it would be the best to be patient with the obviously jumpy young Weiss leader.
"Aya, it hasn't changed in the last minutes. It's really simple. We are stuck."
"Schuldig, this is not the right time to make jokes. Kurogawa's men could find the hidden trap door by any minute!"
Schuldig snorted in reply. "Aya, if I would make a joke then it would be like 'Two snails are tramping on a train track. Say's the first: "Be careful! A train's coming!" Say's the other one: "Where?" crack "There!" crack'."
Silence, until Schuldig spoke again. "Okay, maybe this one wasn't so funny."
Aya gritted his teeth, screwed his eyes shut, and took a deep breath. Stuck. That's a laugh. Did Schuldig really believe he would buy such a plain lie? Aya knew that the Schwarz member was trying to make use of the situation to grope him in his defenceless position. Aya was sure of it. Maybe it would be the best in this ridiculous situation to be patient with the Schwarz member and to just play along with this obvious act. For now. But after this, God help the man!
Opening his eyes again even though he couldn't see anything in the darkness, Aya spoke in his calmest voice. "Look, this can't be, Schuldig. There was enough space for crawling, thus there must be enough for trading places. That's called logic"
Aya was cute, sometimes, but right now Schuldig had the urge to smack him over the head for his scepticism.
"Well, Aya, does your logic count in big pointy stones?"
Aya frowned into the darkness. "What pointy stones?"
"Oh, I don't know, but I think it's one of those evil ones, because it's drilling itself cruelly into my tender back."
"… As if I would believe such a poor excuse! You're just a pervert!"
"That's so childish of you-- Aahh! Aya! Stop it! That hurts!"
Freezing, Aya stopped his squirming and checked the current situation while partly listening to Schuldig's painful moaning.
And he came to a result.
And he didn't like it, at all.
Because it scared him to death.
Schuldig was right.
They were stuck.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"Moshi, moshi konnichi wa. May I speak to--"
"No."
"… Ano, I--"
"No."
"Demo--"
"I will not repeat myself anymore, Bombay."
"... ORACLE?"
#beep beep beep beep beep#
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"Aya, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel."
"Don't be so overdramatic. We're in this position for merely a few minutes."
"Blöder Hammel."
"What does Blöder Hammel mean?"
"... It's German for thank you."
"Why are you thanking me?"
"... Because you brought me back from my little death experience?"
"So ka."
Schuldig released the breath he had been holding and sighed in relief. He thanked all the gods in heaven and hell that Aya was lost in thoughts; answering and questioning him with a soft voice in such a distracted manner. God help him if Aya ever finds out that he had just insulted him in German.
The pain from Aya's previous shifting was totally forgotten by now and Schuldig smiled into Aya's neck, aware of the younger man's discomfort about their situation. It wasn't that he didn't have enough space to move his head, groin, or legs, but he would rather bite off his tongue first than tell Aya about this little secret. Tracing the younger man's hip with his fingers, he whispered dreamingly into the neck.
"You know what, Aya? Maybe in a hundred years they will find our bones, embracing each other."
"..."
"Like lovers."
"..."
"We will be famous."
"..."
"Aya?"
"…"
Schuldig frowned. Okay, maybe Aya wasn't very eager to hold a conversation with him right now, but why was the Weiss assassin shivering in the same rhythm as his breathing? And maybe it was just his imagination, but Aya's skin was getting warmer and warmer with every minute. Strange. Very strange. Still stroking Aya's hip and thigh through the thin trousers, Schuldig started an experiment.
He breathed.
Aya shivered.
He blew.
Aya trembled.
He licked.
Aya panicked.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Farfarello took a deadly stance, ready to strike like a viper towards his target. His eye was gleaming in pure madness and bloodlust as he licked his favourite knife slowly, almost sensually, and his voice was a low mocking whisper.
"Here, kitty-kitty, come, come."
If Farfarello had had eyes in the back of his head he would have seen Crawford's broad grin.
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Omi was so desperately sucking on his third Popsicle that he couldn't even savour the taste of his favourite strawberry flavour anymore. It seemed impossible to reach his beloved Nagi; not over the internet line, nor over the cell phone. And on top of everything, Oracle now knew about their secret relationship. There was no doubt about it.
And Omi couldn't do anything to help his young lover against the fury of the deadly force the Schwarz leader was representing. All he had wanted at the moment he had made that cursed call had been his boyfriend's small shoulder to cry and to lean on after the terrible toilet incident. And now, all of it had ended in a disaster.
#Ding Dong#
The doorbell pulled him out of his musing. Sucking harder to calm his damaged nerves, Omi went to the door, and with his lips firmly wrapped around the sweet stick he reached for the doorknob and opened it.
And screamed.
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First, Schuldig screeched. Then he screamed on the top of his lungs while Aya expanded his panic into wild trashing. The pointy stone stabbed like a huge butcher knife into Schuldig's shoulder, and he was sure that he already has got a hole of the size of the Mount Everest in his back. It was a cruel, muscle and bone crunching pain which spread through his back like a conflagration, destroying every nerve in its path.
It was terrible.
It was horrible.
It was suddenly over.
Aya had managed to wriggle himself free and came to a scrambling halt a few meters away. He had panicked, and had ended the ongoing assault on his libido the only way he was capable of in this very moment; with brute force. Panting, he listened to Schuldig's pitiful moaning.
"My back... Oh gods... My back..."
Aya wrinkled his forehead. Wasn't Mastermind overdoing it a little?
"You can stop acting, Schuldig."
A heartbreaking whimper answered him from behind. Aya bit his lower lip in concern. There was a chance that Schuldig's been hurt by his harsh reaction. Carefully crawling backwards the tunnel toward the moaning man, Aya groped his way through the darkness until he felt silken long strands of hair under his hand.
"Schu? You alright?"
"My back... I have a fucking hole in my back!... Oh Gods, it hurts."
Instantly, Aya was plagued by pangs of conscience and he started to gently stroke Schuldig's hair to calm him down. It hadn't been in his intention to injure the other man, and now, thanks to his harsh reaction, the situation wasn't looking very good for them. Not that the whole mission had been any better before, but if Schuldig really was badly injured their chances to escape were now rather slim.
"Schu, I'm really sorry. Please, tell me, what can I do?"
The whimpering stopped abruptly and was replaced by a hopeful voice.
"Kiss and make it better?"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Farfarello stood in front of the open door; Bombay's scream still ringing in his ears.
Crawford stepped grinning past him, patting him on his way into the foyer good natured on the shoulder. "Well done, Farfarello."
Nagi followed their leader, giggling hysterically like a little girl.
Birman rushed past him, shoulders shaking in silent laughter.
And Farfarello himself was in shock. He couldn't believe what had happened to him. Slowly blinking, he tried to mentally grasp the last minute. He had had the perfect stance, the perfect madman mimic to give every Weiss member who would open the door a heart attack.
But something went wrong. Very wrong.
Because Bombay had thrown a Popsicle at him.
After sprinkling him in saliva.
And this was the most disgusting experience ever.
And from judging Crawford's grin, their leader had known the whole time this would happen to him.
Farfarello's golden eye narrowed and he pulled back his scarred lips, baring his teeth like a feral animal.
Oh, Brad and Bombay would pay dearly for what they did.
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Yohji was sitting at the kitchen table pressing an ice bag against his swollen cheek, and Ken was stroking lovingly through his hair to show him his whole sympathy about their rudely interrupted coitus, when a hysterical Omi interrupted them again.
Tilting his head, Yohji observed their youngest team member who was standing in the kitchen entrance, frantically waving his arms.
"Berserker!"
Fascinated, Yohji watched the spittle flew.
"Ew, Omi, that's disgusting."
Oh, Ken's voice of reason. But he had a point there.
After Omi's little outburst in the toilet room, Yohji wasn't so sure anymore about their chibi. Maybe Omi had a little nervous breakdown? Yohji concentrated on Omi's mouth. Maybe he would even start foaming out of it. This certainly looked much more than a simple breakdown.
"But… Berserker!"
Yohji rolled his eyes. "Come on, Omi. You don't have to act like one and spread spittle just to show us that you're disagreeing with our healthy love-life."
Blinking in confusion, Omi reached up to his mouth, and blushed deeply. Cursing the three popsicles and the high sugar level in them that had promoted the spitting production, he wiped his mouth dry and swallowed a few times.
"Oracle!"
Shaking his head, Omi tried to correct Yohji. "No. Not Oracle. Don't you listen? It's Berserker!"
"No, Balinese is right. Good evening, gentlemen."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Schuldig was speechless.
"Come on, Schuldig. It's time to move on."
"…"
"... I'm sorry, okay?"
"…"
"Just… take it like a man."
Take it like a man! After how Aya had treated him! Schuldig stared blankly into the darkness, pondering the question of what he had done to deserve such cruel treatment. He had only asked for a little kiss to make it better. And how had Aya reacted?
(flashback)
"Oh, poor baby, where does it hurt? Here?"
"Ouch."
"Or there?"
"OUCH!"
"Oh, maybe it's… THERE?"
"AHHHHH!"
(end flashback)
Schuldig could still feel Aya's heartlessly stabbing fingers on his sore back. How can someone so beautiful be so cruel? It was a miracle, really.
Suddenly, his head was carefully lifted and placed into Aya's lap. And a soft hand touched his cheek.
"Schu, I'm really sorry. I will tend your wound when we are finally out of the tunnel. I promise."
Schuldig melted and snuggled deeper into Aya's lap. The hand was alternately stroking his cheek and hair, and this was a very nice feeling compared to his hurting back. Sighing, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the gentle touch. Seriously, he could get used to it. Maybe they could stay in this position for a while. Just he and Ran without further distractions. Yes, this was heaven.
"Schu!"
"Hm?"
"I can see a light! It must be the end of the tunnel!"
Darn. Schuldig balled his fists. Why now?
"Not now, Aya."
"But we can finally escape!"
"Just… give me a minute, okay?"
"Why?"
"Wounded man there, Aya."
"Funny. You're awfully calm about the fact that I've found the exit."
"You? Excuse me, but I was the one who found out about this little fact!"
"You knew the whole time and didn't say anything?"
"What? Of course I did! It isn't my fault that you were distracted, shivering every time I breathed!"
#CLANCK#
Loud moaning sounded through the darkness.
Followed by a pitiful whimper.
"… My head… Oh gods… My head…"
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tbc
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Blöder Hammel (germ.) Stupid wether... or something like that #cough#. It's German swearing.)
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Black Kitten: #bows deeply and bangs her head in shame on the floor in front of each reviewer#
Schu: What's she doing now?
Brad: It seems she's apologizing to every reviewer because of her late update.
Schu: Ouch. That must hurt. #smirks#
Brad: Jep. #gives out reviews to the others# Let's begin. Hiei449, thanks for your review. But you don't have to pity Schu and Aya. They've first to survive the forest.
Schu: #big eyes# Did you have a vision?
Brad: #grunts# No. It's rather obvious that your life in the forest will not be a funny one.
Ken: Oh, I've got KyraEnsui! Dear KyraEnsui, rabbits are amazing creatures. They may be lazy but when they are at it, boy, you wouldn't believe me. They are so fast!
Schu: #blinks# Ken, are you peeping on rabbits?... Pandora.81, AAAH! Quick, hide the review before Black Kitten can read it! Pandora gives her terrible tips how to handle ones muse!
Nagi: #singsong# Schu is afraid! Schu is afraid!
Farfarello: #cackles#… Liebe cattley, Oh, thanks. I will be particularly relentless, er, I mean funny to Omi and Brad… Spittle… Ew…
Black Kitten: #interrupts her head banging# Oh, cattley, you certainly are not strange. Once, I was drinking Red Bull and suddenly I had to laugh out loud. I covered my screen and keyboard with the sticky liquid. That was a mess. Er, I'm off apologizing again. #returns to head banging while reading Pandora.81's instruction how to handle muses#
Schu: #shakes head# Strange people. #reads on#… Angel Hoshi1, You want to spank me?
Black Kitten: #returns again, first bumps appear on her forehead# Angel Hoshi, I'm really humbled by your question to help you write a story, but you see, it's really hard work and rather time expensive, particularly if one is not a native speaker of the English language like myself. And I've little time because there're all the other stories I'm working on (in German), and then there's mulled wine and not to forget line-figure sex scene drawings.
Brad: Blah, blah. And so she continues… Yami Kaosu, This isn't OOC, this is OOOOOOOOC. Oh well, but you gave the two ladies special ideas. #looks at Birman and Manx#
Birman and Manx: #censored#
Brad: Er, okay, they're busy right now, but they ordered me to invite you to their wedding. However, #looks sternly# you don't have to pair me off with someone, Yami. I need no one.
Nagi: #singsong# Brad is a virgin! Brad is a virgin!
Brad: #blushes deeply#
Farfarello: #gets teary eyes# Oh, Yami, it was horrible! Omi spat at me!
Omi: #rolls eyes# Get over it. What are you? Ten years old?
Farfarello: Oh you little… Oh, a shiny new knife! Thanks, Yami! #jumps her#
Brad: #shakes head#… Dear Kyra2, thanks for loving me. That's nice. I have a #cough# big #cough# fan-club, but your declaration of love to me is… #sniff#… But it was the most humiliating experience in my life, hiding like a scared animal. HA! I SO do not hide myself! From nobody!
Nagi: #singsong# Brad is afrai-- #wack#
Brad: #gives fan back to Sanzo# Where was I? Ah, yes. But I had my revenge! I knew the whole time that Omi would react like a Lama! Isn't this great, Kyra? BWAHAHA!
Schu: Wow, you don't fear Berserker's revenge?
Brad: OO … Oh. My. God.
Schu: Hm, who's next… Tysoyo Kalli. #reads#… #nods#… #nods#… #nods#… NO! The tunnel was not an interesting experiment! I got hurt! Look! #turns and shows Tysoyo Kalli tiny little bruise on his back#
Aya: Let me see. #takes magnifying glass#
Schu: #growls#
Black Kitten: #forehead deformed with bumps# I need a break… Cieraco, Oh, I hope you're well and this chapter wasn't too silly for you. But I must tell you that I'm immune to… puppy… eyes… #melts away#
Aya: #sniggers# Immune, my ass. Oops, I didn't just say this bad, bad word… Koji-chan, Oh, I remember her. She's this brave advocate of my virginity. #reads on# NANI? You're looking forward when Schu and I do the #beep# thingie?
Schu: YEAH! #makes happy dance#
Aya: Oh, just you wait. It will be #spoiler# for you!
Schu: OO
Black Kitten: #jumps up and down hysterically# annakas, Oh dear, you reviewed EVERY chapter! #wipes away tears# That's so great, I can't say how much I loved them! And I really liked how you pointed out certain parts of the chapters. But, you see, about the compromising position in the tunnel, I would never ever let the two make love in a dark, dirty, narrow, bugs and spider infested, bats flying--
Brad: Bats? Stop jumping. First banging, now shaking. Poor brain of yours.
Black Kitten: #sticks tongue out#… Skeren Dreamera. Wow, I'm one of only a few? #amazed#… You are right. It's a miracle but they do fit perfectly. Both are stubborn redheads. One icy and one as hot as the sun. Put them together and you have--
Ken: Steam?
Black Kitten: #glares# Baka. #looks chibi-like at Skeren Dreamera# Am I forgiven for my late update? Please? Pwwweeeaaase?
Brad: #snorts# After this lousy chapter? Keep dreaming.
Black Kitten: Grrrr… Jiyuu. Sorry, I am awfully late with my update and they still didn't get it on. #sniff# I'm a terrible, terrible person… #sees yaoi-engel sobbing# Oh gods, I can't see people cry… And my update took forever again! I'm worthless! #hugs Jiyuu and yaoi-engel and breaks down crying#
Schu: Oi. Group crying. I'm off.
Black Kitten: Heartless #beep#!… gamegirl28. #sniff# You liked it? Really?
Schu: She did. But does she still like it after this chapter?
Black Kitten: OO... You're so mean! #runs crying away#
Schu: #smirks# Ah, life is great.
Black Kitten: #comes running back# Spoiler for the next chapter. It's lemon time! Until then, minna-san! Bye!