Black Kitten: Hi, minna-san! Sorry for the terribly long wait. Well, I can only beg you on my knees to please ignore those terrible spelling mistakes and bad pre-school grammar and just have fun with the new chapter.

Schu: No proof-reading? #smirks and reads first lines# Schuldig where shocks. An moment he stand ready bye Aya too parts off him with--

Black Kitten: Er... #cough#... Without doubt, this was the hardest and longest chapter I've written so far. Until know, I had no idea how complex the story has developed. #sweat drop# I really, really hope you all will like the outcome.

Schu: #snorts# Complex? Chaotic, that's what it is.

Black Kitten: Thank you for your candid pity. #glares#... Ah, minna, thank you so much for the many reviews! The response I got for the last chapter was awesome! Hugs for everyone! #hugs everyone#

Schu: #shudders and prays# Please, not me. Please, not me.

Black Kitten: #rolls eyes# I gave hugs to the reviewers. You haven't written one, have you?

Schu: ... No. #evil grin#... Must go... Write flame... #cackles#

Black Kitten: How childish. Now, because I got so many reviews, Schwarz and Weiss will help me answering them.

Weiss & Schwarz: #apathetic# Hurray.

Black Kitten: #smirks# I knew you would be thrilled by it. And now, onto the story!

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Disclaimer: To whom it may concern Weiß Kreuz doesn't belong to me. It's the property of Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiss (if my sources are correct). And I don't make money out of writing this story.

Warnings: NO BETA. German's my first language and this won't change as long as I live.

"blah blah" ... thoughts.../telepathy/

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Black Kitten's Dream

This is SO not happening!

Part 13

Schuldig was shocked. One moment, he was standing by Aya ready to part from him with a heavy heart, and the next one Crawford came out of the Koneko no Sume Ie. Schuldig was so stunned that he couldn't decide which shook him more; Crawford walking out of Aya's home, or the state he was in.

Brad was furious.

The last time Schuldig had seen him in such a furious state had been... well, never. He couldn't remember having seen his team leader in such a rage ever before. Nothing had ever taken Crawford by surprise due to his talent, and nothing had ever touched him deep enough to loose his temper. Until now, and this frightened Schuldig deeply.

Brad must have gotten a vision about his blooming love for Aya, an enemy, which could only be taken as a betrayal to the team. He had deceived his comrades, his family. Had gone against them in the worst way possible, and the price they would have to pay for this mortal sin let him fear for his and Aya's life. And of what he would find behind the walls of the Kitten's house.

Schuldig's stomach tightened at the upcoming foreboding, and the horror visions that slowly started to cloud his mind left him dazed, unable to react to Brad's merciless grip on his arm as he pulled him into the house.

Crawford calm and serene was deadly, to put it mildly.

Crawford in rage was lethal.

When Brad shut the door forcefully after their entering, seized him by the vest and pressed him up against the wall, Schuldig's heart was fluttering in his chest like a desperate, scared little bird trying to escape its too small cage.

When Brad's furious, blazing eyes met his, Schuldig could only shiver in despair at the pure anger he found in them.

When Brad's lips drew up into a vicious snarl to bare his teeth, Schuldig abandoned all hope.

And when Brad's fury coloured hiss washed over him like a typhoon carrying an icy wind to freeze his heart and to break it mercilessly into tiny shreds before crushing them under his expensive soles into finest star dust, Schuldig's mind held only one thought.

"You will tell those fucking idiots that I'm not in love with Berserker!"

Eh?

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Aya was shocked about Crawford's appearance for about ten seconds before his mind went blank. All he could see were gruesome pictures of his slaughtered team members, his friends, his family. Dismembered by Berserker and crushed to death by Prodigy like annoying little flies. And hovering over their mangled bodies stood Oracle with a cruel and mocking smirk.

When Aya started to move again it was without a thought. He ran to the backdoor and sprinted up to his room to get his weapon. Somewhere far, far away, he could hear muffled shouting and yelling, and his heart made a little jump at the possibility that his team members weren't murdered by now. That they could be still fighting for their lives, brave and lion-hearted against the evilness that was Schwarz.

Katana in hand, Aya stormed down the stairs again, ready to join forces with his comrades. His last thought before he entered the room where the final fight took place was being send to Schuldig, thanking him for their short but wonderful time they had together.

Ai shiteru, Schu. Forever and for always.

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Yohji was glaring at Ken ready to bring out the next 'Squeak' as a subtle hint and as a demand to finally get an answer if he had cheated on him with Berserker or not.

Ken was about to strangle Yohji for his ongoing 'Squeak Squeak' commands he made seemingly as a reminder for whatever his stubborn boyfriend thought had occurred in his room the night before.

Farfarello, enjoying every second of the spat tremendously, watched them closely with a satisfied grin.

Omi and Nagi were exchanging their personal views about the couples' spat through the little notebook, and Aya-chan was about to let her instincts take over again and play matchmaker, when suddenly...

A bloodcurdling scream broke through the room.

Farfarello leaped up in one fluid movement, gracefully like a panther, with his knife out of his bootleg and ready to maim whoever dared to cross his path.

Yohji whirled around into his typical defence stance, wire out and heart hammering like a running rabbit that was trying to break the sound barrier.

Ken, having scared the living daylights out of him, reacted promptly with an almost identical scream back.

Omi and Nagi, immensely startled by both screams, froze into two pillars of salt, and Aya-chan, scared to death at the sudden loud noises, gasped and pressed her hand over her rapidly pounding heart.

Reactions made, they focused on the source of the original scream.

And there, only a few steps away, stood an outraged bunny, face contorted into a mask of murderous rage and katana high about his head ready to strike.

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

After storming into the living room with a war cry on his lips, Aya stood in fighting stance with the katana in position to defend his friends. He was ready to strike down the first member of Schwarz when Ken took a step in his direction and began to yell on the top of his lungs.

"ARE YOU CRAZY, AYA? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME!"

Stunned, Aya lowered the weapon and stared in shock at his angry comrade. The feeling of pure relief which would have had taken over his nervous system by now and would have let him shout out in joy that his friends were still alive, was being crushed by Ken who was downright pissed. And Ken was pissed at him, mind you, not at the knife holding Schwarz member called Berserker right beside Ken, who was, by the way, staring at him in pure fascination while muttering something under his breath that sounded like 'Incredible'. Nor was Ken pissed at Prodigy, who was ... Aya gazed confused at the youngest Schwarz member's labelled forehead and red nose until his view stopped at the sight of Prodigy snuggled up to... Omi?... And Omi was lime-green? What on earth had happened to the boy?

Aya's baffled look at the optical modified teenagers huddled together like best friends was interrupted by a deep sigh from Ken. It was hard for him to turn the look from the two colourful boys, and therefore glanced more than absently in Ken's direction. Aya was confronted with one last glare from Ken before the younger man took a deep breath and started to rub his chest in a calming manner.

"Gods, Aya, you scared me so much I almost wetted myself like Omi did yesterday."

"Ken-kun!" Omi's horrified shout was full of mortification and he turned crimson in embarrassment.

"You pissed yourself?" The amused snort from Berserker was underlined with one mockingly raised eyebrow.

"I was startled!" came the heated response and Omi pointed accusingly at Ken. "Because Ken and Yohji had sex in the toilet!"

The second eyebrow went up and Berserker smirked at Ken. "You had sex in the toilet?"

Blushing, Ken folded his arms defensively. "It was ON not IN the toilet."

Aya, now totally ignored by the others, couldn't decide which was more surreal; the fact that Schwarz and Weiss had a more or less civil conversation, or the conversation itself. Confused, he turned to his last resort to get an explanation of what was going on, but Yohji wasn't following their bickering. Actually, Yohji was staring at him. A single tear was running down his cheek and although he had his lips firmly pressed together, Aya could already hear giggles coming from the older man. All in all, Yohji was currently occupied with fighting off a laughing fit. A rather fruitless attempt, his shoulders were already shaking and Aya was certain the man would loose it by any second.

Irritation started to flow through him at his team members' attitudes, and he was about to voice his displeasure when Yohji's attention abruptly changed. The older man's gaze darted to the left to look behind Aya, green eyes widened and he yelled in warning.

"LOOK OUT!"

Trained like the perfect assassin he was, Aya reacted promptly.

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Muttering and on the edge to have a fit, Crawford stomped through the house back to the living-room.

"Idiots. I'm surrounded by... idiots!"

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Schuldig lay prone on the floor, trying to figure out where the train had come from before it had hit him full force.

The last thing he remembered was receiving Aya's message over the mental link. He remembered the shock he had felt at Aya's regretful words he had spoken as if they were his final ones, and the terrible feeling of loss and despair at his lover's farewell. And he had reacted in blind panic, had desperately shoved Crawford away, had ignored his leader's sharp command and had run further into the house to save Aya's life.

So, where the hell did that train come from?

Moaning, Schuldig reached up to feel for his temple where that ominous thing had hit him, with no doubt that his head was bashed in through the enormous impact. Suddenly, Aya's horror-stricken voice broke through his dazed mind.

"Oh gods... Schu... What have I done!"

Puzzled by the cryptic words, Schuldig slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times to clear his vision until Aya's worried face came into his view. Aya was kneeling beside him, no, he was more floating over him. A hand touched his over the temple, fingers sneaked tenderly between his own to examine the painful spot for injuries. Ah, that was his Aya, lovely and caring. A beautiful and gentle angel in a world full of brutal beasts.

"I'm so sorry, Schu. I thought someone was attacking me from behind. Thank Kami-sama I only hit you with the fist."

Finally something that made sense. Now he understood what had happened when he had come to Aya's rescue. Silly of him to think of a train. Aya had just thought that someone was attacking... him... Schuldig's eyes snapped fully open at the realization that his lover was as fit as a fiddle instead of lying broken in a pool of blood. Despite his hurting head, Schuldig quickly sat up and glared accusingly.

"Don't you ever 'ai shiteru' me again, Aya! I nearly had a heart-attack!"

The sight of Aya blushing heavily at the reminder of his dramatic farewell would have lessened his anger instantly, if Crawford hadn't decided that this was the right time to step into the room.

"I told you to calm down, Schuldig, didn't I?" Crawford glanced annoyed at him as he passed by, as if he was just a little brat complaining about nothing.

"Pardon me?" To say that Schuldig was outraged would be the understatement of the year. The new rush of anger brought such a strong wave of adrenaline with it that he managed to scramble on his feet without swaying, even though he still felt a little dizzy from the hit. Enraged, he stepped up to Crawford and stubbed a finger quite hard against the older man's chest.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Brad, but your exact words were 'Stop, you fucking idiot'. What the hell did you think I would do? Stay by your side while my lover's being butchered?"

"Your lover?"

Schuldig froze up, finger tip firmly pressed against the chest in front of him, and for a second he was more startled about his slip and now final confession as about the painfully familiar accent. Slowly, he let his hand down and turned around to the questioner with a weak smile.

"Hi, Farfie."

He was prepared for many things, but certainly not for the sight of an utterly relaxed Berserker grinning back at him in delight. Farfarello was virtually radiating unholy joy, and his mouth widened into a smirk as he drawled his reply.

"Nice outfit, Tigger."

Schuldig furrowed his brows. It was easy to overlook the nickname, or Kudou's amused snort, but for Farfarello to shrug off his relationship with Abyssinian as if it wasn't worth a second thought was just too unrealistic to be true. There had to be a catch in it. Suspicion rose in him and he concentrated on the remaining persons to check out the current situation. And he noticed how Schwarz and Weiss stood side by side instead of fighting each other. How cosy the two youngest team members were sitting together and the state they were in.

The feeling that something important must have happened during the time of his absence got stronger by any second. Something had changed dramatically and it wasn't just Bombay's colouring or Nagi's newfound love for a certain dog-breed. Maybe the two assassin groups had formed an alliance, something like a temporary truce.

Turning back to his Irish colleague, Schuldig had the mixed blessing to find Farfarello watching him like a hawk, clearly waiting in anticipation for a reaction from him. And all of a sudden, Schuldig had the nasty sensation of being a labour rat observed by a scientist. By one of the stark raving mad kind scientists, of course. Pinned down by the golden eye, he narrowed his own back in irritation to show Farfarello that he wasn't in the mood to play any of his games.

"What the hell is going on, Farfarello?"

Gods, he hated it when Farfarello made one of his innocent performances. The confused look, the wide eye, the raised eyebrows. And all of it in combination with a hand pointed at his chest in a questioning manner. The only flaw was that said hand was holding a knife. Farfarello was looking like a cat denying the killing of the canary while yellow feathers were sticking out of his mouth. Who the fuck would fall for such a ridiculous act? Absolutely nobody, not even a toddler.

"Why does everyone pick on Farfie? I'm tired of repeating it again and again and again. Christ, Farfie was the whole time in my room! End of the story! Just live with it!"

... What? Had Siberian just called Berserker 'Farfie' and had defended him like they were best buddies? And Farfarello didn't even bat his eye at such a familiarity from an arch-enemy? Schuldig gaped perplexed at the very upset Hidaka. And then at the very happy looking Farfarello. And then at Crawford who was rubbing his forehead in a very tired gesture. And then he exploded.

"I want an explanation, god damn it! And I give a shit who's delivering it, I want it now!"

As if given a keyword, Nagi jumped up, sprinted at his side, and started to scribble hectically on a notebook. Finished, he tore the sheet away and held it up for Schuldig to see. Schuldig didn't care for the sheet, utterly amazed by the boy's action.

/Chibi, I know I was away for a terribly long time, one day to be precisely, but for you to forget that I'm a telepath is somewhat scary./

Schuldig knew instantly that he had made a terrible mistake.

/Schu! It was terrible! Farfarello painted a ladybug on my nose while I was asleep! A LADYBUG! And he destroyed our LIVING-ROOM! And then he scared OMI but Omi spit on his FACE and then he wrote BEAGLE on my forehead and Omi had DYE in his shampoo and then my VOICE broke and now I can only SQUEAK and then came AYA--/

It was pure self-defence when Schuldig's mental walls snapped up and blocked any incoming thoughts to avoid further bombardments and to keep away the risk of overloading his brain. The animated features of Nagi showed him that the normally calm boy was still talking his head off. It was like watching an old silent movie. It was fascinating.

Someone cleared his throat rather loudly, clearly as an attempt to get every ones attention, and Schuldig was forced to tear his eyes from Nagi and to ignore the boy's protest tug on his arm. Crawford stood right behind him with folded arms and a serious mien, visibly in need to say something terribly important.

"Mastermind has an announcement to make."

"... I have?" Schuldig's eye-brows shot up. What announcement? Until now he had thought the mission had been crazy but what he had witnessed so far since he had entered that cursed house surpassed it easily. Has everyone gone mad? Great, and now he had the whole attention directed at him while he was at a complete loss.

"Don't look at me as if I'm nuts, Schuldig," Crawford hissed furiously at his bewildered look. "I'm fed up and I've no tolerance for more nonsense, so just spill it. You know what I'm talking about."

Wide-eyed, Schuldig stared back with absolute no idea what Crawford wanted from him. And this made him awfully nervous. And he got even more nervous when the older man's glare got murderous and his mind decided that now was the best time to recall the previous, quite aggressive behaviour of his team leader. Swallowing, Schuldig took a reflexive step backwards and meekly squeezed out the only reply he could think of.

"I do?"

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Until now, Aya had watched and listened in stoic silence. He had even managed to ignore Yohji's permanent and downright idiotic grin and occasional sniggers, which he suspected could only be because of his bunny-outfit. But the fruitless conversation between Schuldig and Oracle was too much. When Oracle made a threatening step towards the German, Aya realized that it was time to stop the madness. And it was more than obvious that no one but him was rational enough at the moment to bring order into the chaos. Tightening his grip on the katana, Aya stepped resolutely forward to bring himself between the two Schwarz members and to demand attention as the leader of Weiss... when a soft voice let him freeze in his motion.

"Oniisan?"

For a short moment, Aya's brain refused its work and he had an experience which only people on certain psychedelic drugs have. It was almost like an out-of-body experience. When he turned to the new person, everything was in slow motion. The widening of Yohji's grin, the smirk of Berserker which became feral and the madman's satisfied hiss of "Finally!", Schuldig's stunned facial features and Oracle's rolling eyes and the impatiently tapping of his fingers against folded arms. And then there was his sister, beaming at him in all her glory.

"Surprise!" She threw up her arms and stepped forward to take him into a cheerful embrace. "Oniisan, I've missed you sooo much."

Arms full with his sister, Aya stared speechless down at her. The katana fell from numb fingers, his mouth opened soundlessly, and the thoughts were running amok. He was entirely swamped by the turn of events, and he would have remained in that state for a very long time if Schuldig's question and following conversation hadn't snapped him out off it.

"I'll be damned. Since when is Aya's sister here?"

"About three hours, not that this would be of any importance. Satisfied? Can we finally go back to your announcement before I loose my patience?"

"Gods, you're in a bad mood, Brad. I'm here for barely a few minutes with absolute no idea what's going on, so don't let it out on me."

"God help me but I've reached a very critical point. Just do as I say."

"Not that I wouldn't know what you're talking about, really, and I would... if I could... But not before you're telling me what this is all about. I'm a professional after all and not some brainless puppet."

"Are you challenging my authority, Schuldig?"

"No!... At least I think so... Christ, why not give Aya and his sister a little time before we go on with this madness?"

"I don't give a damn about them. And it's Ran, you idiot. Aya is the sister."

"Oh yeah? And our Greatness believes that His lackeys will follow His cryptic orders after insulting them? Newsflash! They won't--"

"You will follow my order, Schuldig. And if it's just for your endless gratitude, because without me, your relationship with Abyssinian would never have happened!"

"Then give me proper--... WHAT?"

Ran had listened to the conversation between the two bickering Schwarz members until Schuldig's shout let him wince at the volume of it and he decided to turn his entire focus back on his sister. He still felt a little numb at her unexpected appearance in all that chaos, uncertain how he should react to it. How he should explain his strange looks, or the gathering of so many people when he himself had not the faintest idea about what was going on. Well, Aya-chan must have felt his dilemma because she simply took the initiative with a tender smile.

"You don't have to hide anymore, oniisan. I know about your secret."

That hit him like a rock. Ran was so shocked that he could only gape at her as she tightened her embrace and continued warmly.

"I know why you took over my name. I know everything. And you don't have to be ashamed about it, oniisan. I love you all the same."

"You... do?"

Bit by bit, the meaning of her words flooded through him, and the effect it had on his heart and mind was breathtaking. After all the stress, the pressure and strain, the humiliations and up and downs of his emotional life he had to endure through the last mission, Ran was overpowered by his sister's outstanding love for him. He felt at ease as he finally reacted to her embrace, and the words coming out of his mouth showed his whole relief and gratefulness.

"Kami-sama, all those years I feared for your non-acceptance, that you would despise me, turn your back on me."

"Never, oniisan."

"I'm so glad that I don't have to lie anymore, that I don't have to act and hide in front of you."

"I'm always with you, oniisan."

"Gods, to think that you would accept me as an assassin is unbelieving."

"I would be a terrible sister if I--... Come again?"

Ran was in such a blissful state that he didn't see his comrades, frantically making signs for him to cut it out. Entirely focused on his sister, he rambled on.

"Oh gods, I'm so happy, Aya-chan."

"I see... Assassin?"

"I'm so happy I cannot describe it. All those fears for nothing, because you love me nonetheless! To think that all this time I have such an understanding sister."

"Ran, let's go back to the part with the assassin, will you?"

"One of the best."

"Do tell."

"Hai."

"..."

"... Aya-chan?"

Strange, now his sister seemed to be lost and confused, and this was quite the contrary to her earlier beaming. Furrowing his brows in confusion and a little concern about her well-being, Ran was about to question her when an arm suddenly fell on his shoulder.

"Oh my, Ran-chan's so funny today, aren't you, Liebling?"

Startled, Aya addressed his German lover beside him. "Schu, what are you tal--"

/Your sister has no idea about your profession, Ran./

/NANI?/

/Chill, Liebling, I will handle it./

Ran may be in love with Schuldig but he was no fool. The words which should have calmed him down brought nothing but a new rush of panic. He was more than worried that his somewhat tactless boyfriend would only make it worse, and the image of Schuldig handling it as gracefully as a bull in a china shop tied his stomach into tight knots. However, the protest he was about to make vanished as fast as the words reached his lips, because what followed took his breath away.

Schuldig bowed to his sister European style in an elegant gesture. And just as gracefully, he leaned forward, took her right hand in his, and placed a decent kiss on the back of it. Straightened up again, Schuldig regarded her with a charming smile and an almost seductive purr.

"You're lovely, my dear, and it's a pleasure to meet you."

Aya blushed deeply, enraptured by the foreigner's action and words, and Ran could only watch in wonder at the sudden shyness of her. No, actually, it wasn't some miracle to be surprised about. Schuldig was Mastermind of Schwarz, after all. A seductive manipulator who played with the minds of innocent people in sadistic delight until truth turned into lies, and vice versa.

"By the way, I'm your brother's boyfriend."

/Schu! She doesn't know about my sexual orientation! You're grossing her out!/

/After your enthusiastic outing as an assassin? Don't think so. Oh, and thanks for the Manipulator of Innocence. Really, that was terribly nice of you./

/Schu, I--/

/Forget it./

/But, Schu, it's not how--/

/Lala lala lala laaaa./

"Oh, you're my brother's koibito? I see... And the animal costumes you're both wearing are something like a partner look, Schuldig-san?"

"Yeah, what's with that bunny and kitty-cat outfit? Care to tell us?" Yohji butted in cheerfully from somewhere behind.

Ran gritted his teeth at Yohji's unnecessary remark while he was busy thinking about why Aya wasn't offended about him being gay, or how he could make it up to Schuldig again. It hadn't really been his intention to insult his lover, but it was hard to change a view about certain people in only a few hours. Not after the image had been built over such a long time, and least of all if said person was a member of Schwarz. Thus, Schuldig really could give him a little time to adjust to this new image. But on the other hand, the damage was done, and a cranky Schuldig was surely not a funny one. Particularly when said cranky man tended to get stubborn and childish. So, what could he do? Maybe a nice romantic back rub by candle light would help?

Glancing at Schuldig to see if he was still upset, Ran watched warily as the German continued the conversation with his sister as if nothing had happened between them mentally.

"Ah, you see, it's hard to describe why we're in such funny costumes with the knowledge that it isn't Halloween... or carnival... or other traditions... I suppose there isn't a Japanese tradition involving such costumes?... Darn, thought so. Now, it's more like... It was something like... We were on a show, to be precisely."

A show? Why in Buddha's name does Schuldig believe that his sister would buy such a dumb explanation?

"Oh... OH!" Aya gave the young foreigner a meaningful grin and a comical slow wink as if they were sharing a secret. "Must have been a wild one, ne Schuldig-san?"

"... Huh?"

Oookay, it was nice to know that Schu was just as baffled as he was about his sister's reaction, but that was the only comforting thing in the whole mess. Aya was unaware of the confusion she was creating as she directed her attention back to her brother and slapped him playfully on the arm.

"You got me all confused with your silly story about assassins, oniisan. But now, after I got all those little details, I've a perfect idea for a present I wanted to give you. Oh, you will love it, Ran-chan! I mean Aya-chan... This could turn into major complications during the time of my visit. Ah, we will think of something so we don't get mixed up by your friends. But first, shopping. And now I'm off. Ja ne!"

Clapping her hands in anticipation, Aya bounced cheerfully out of the room until she vanished from their sight.

"What the... hell?" Ran knitted his browns in bewilderment and gazed at the only person who would be able to explain him his sister's flood of words. But his mind reading koibito was occupied with staring wide-eyed at the spot where his sister had been standing only a few seconds ago. Instantly, Ran got suspicious.

"Schu, what did she mean by that?"

"... Nothing, Liebling."

"But she--"

"Believe me, you don't want to know."

"Schu!"

"Holy shit, that was hilarious."

Startled by the new voice near his left ear, Ran whirled around and gasped in recognition of who was standing so close to him. His instincts screamed at him to step back, to get hold of his katana in order to be able to defend himself. But he was also aware that this man would be faster, would rip him to pieces before he could reach his weapon still lying on the ground. There was the comforting certainty that Schuldig, still standing at his right side, would defend him if needed, and maybe that was the crucial factor for Ran to stand unmoving despite his raw nerves and to simply watch the Schwarz member cautiously for any signs of danger.

The golden eye was fixed on the corner where Aya had vanished, and with the knife blade tapping against his cheek, Berserker unhurriedly changed the direction of his gaze to address him thoughtfully.

"You sure your 'lil sister didn't get damaged by the coma, Rabbit?"

Ran's yaw hung low, and not only at the assumption that his sister could have suffered brain damage. Granted, Schuldig as Tigger had been funny, but he was by no means such a ridiculous character like Rabbit. Before Ran could sputter out a protest, Schuldig took over chuckling.

"Say, Farfie, and who are you? Winnie the Pooh?"

"Nah," Berserker smirked back at the German, pointing with his head backwards. "That would be him."

Curiosity killed the cat, but Ran was the bunny so he was in no danger when he turned in unison with the two Schwarz members to have a look at said Winnie the Pooh.

Ken, feeling two and a half pairs of eyes on him, became flustered. "What's the matter? Why are you staring at me? Is there something on my face?... Yohji? Is there something on my face, Yohji?"

Ran nearly snorted at the comparison as he watched Ken questioning his lover, who for his part started to scan the face in earnest for any strange spots. And he had to admit that he was downright amused by Berserker's sense of humour.

It was a strange feeling, standing between the two Schwarz members; the former his koibito, the latter one of the most dangerous men he had got to know. But even odder was the revelation that he didn't feel threatened by Berserker anymore while he was standing shoulder on shoulder with the knife holding madman. It could be because of the relaxed posture of the man, or it was just the fact that he had an amused smirk on his scarred lips while he was watching Ken. And there was a twinkle in his eye that showed more intelligence and rationality than Ran had ever granted him to have. And maybe this was the crucial factor for him to participate instead of defending his friend's dignity.

Well, the following soft-spoken dialogue between the leader of Weiss and two members of Schwarz made history.

"You know, Berserker, Ken's a klutz sometimes. He could also be Gopher."

"Aye, that's true, Rabbit."

"So, and who would be Piglet?"

"That's easy, Liebling. That would be our Nagi-chan."

"Ah, I see. Roo?"

"The kitten with the excessive joy-complex."

"...Who?"

"Bombay, Rabbit."

Chuckle.

"Christopher Robin?"

"Too boring, Liebling. Next one."

"Hm, the only remaining one I can think of at the moment would be--"

"I'm completely crushed to disturb your highly intelligent and terribly intellectual conversation about a children's book, and I do believe that the coruscating humour in your discussion would make a five-year old guffaw. But to everyone's surprise I'm not a preschooler and I'm far from being happy. Moreover, I'm extremely pissed because I'm still waiting. And if you don't want to get a bullet in your primate brains you will refrain from making fun of me in the next hundred years and you will stop ignoring me."

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Crawford was seething. Hands squeezed into tight fists and drilling holes into the three backs in front of him, he waited for the Comedian Trio to react to his well-defined command. He had given them an ultimatum they shouldn't ignore and had made it clear that he was beyond angry, and that no one, absolutely no one should provoke him any further.

He felt a stab of triumph when the three men grew stiff in acknowledgment that he was deadly serious, that he had given them a strict order as no one other than Oracle, leader of Schwarz. It was a wonderful satisfaction after all the lack of respect he had received during the last hours to see them realizing that their fun had come to an end, that they had no other choice as to follow.

They turned to him at a snail's pace, without a doubt awestruck by his looming presence, and when they opened their mouths they spoke simultaneously with their voices full of awe.

"Eeyore."

What?... What the fuck! ... "PARDON?"

Something snapped audibly in him and the impossible and unthinkable happened.

After twenty-eight long years full of calmness, dispassionateness, and imperturbability, Crawford lost his temper and precious self-control for the first time ever.

Boiling with rage, he drew out his gun, pointed it straight at Schuldig's forehead, and snarled out viciously.

"You will instantly and without further ... Schuldig... Wait... SCHULDIG!... WAAAIIIT!"

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Pulling Ran with him, Schuldig hurried away from the yelling man into the safety of the kitchen. After closing the door, he leaned with a soft sigh against it, thankful for the barrier it drew to the insanity outside the room. And even if it was a relief for him to be spared from it for the moment, he was aware that it was only for a short time before he had to face Crawford again. And it would not be pretty after calling him 'Eeyore' in front of the enemy, or whatever the fuck they were right now.

Schuldig knew it was too late to have second thoughts and to regret making fun of him. As far as he got to know Crawford, the man would not accept such simple apologies like 'peer pressure', or that it had been the only rational and, let's face it, fairly expected way to react, and, seriously, wasn't Brad not the only one to blame for after he had provoked it with his idiotic order?

Still, Crawford had the advantage of being leader with the natural right to claim all the respect he was entitled to, so it was time to have a little doubt if the joke had been really worth the trouble.

And there was still the problem with Aya-chan and her interesting combinations which made her believe that Ran was a famous and acclaimed travesty star, posing in sexy animal costumes. A travesty star! God only knows what's running through the girl's mind to come to such a conclusion. Well, he was a telepath, thus he could peek into her mind to discover the cause for such an irrational train of thought. But actually, it wasn't necessary anymore. He already knew why. It had been his own damn fault with the comment about a show, and as if this wasn't bad enough it just brought him to the next problem.

Ran, who demanded an explanation about his sister strange reactions. Why she had been so unperturbed by the obvious chaos around her. Why she had accepted her brother's sexual orientation without any signs of surprise, or shock. And why she hadn't pestered him with questions about their not exactly G-rated outfits or about the messy state they were in. And that led him straight back to problem no. 2, Ran the travesty star, while problem no. 1, poor misunderstood Oracle, was still fuming in the living room.

Schuldig's head was spinning with the amount of problems thrown at him out of the blue in such a short time, and he was at a loss how he should solve them without getting further into the mess or, God forbid, even making it worse than it already was.

Right now, problem no. 3 was still grinning in afterglow of their little fun session with Crawford. Schuldig watched cautiously as the young Weiss leader shook his head in amusement, leaned back against the counter, and regarded him smiling.

"Schu, as funny as it had been for me to make fun of one of Schwarz, and of Oracle no less, would you mind telli--"

"Food."

Well, it had been the first thing that had popped up in his desperate mind to interrupt Ran and distract him, hopefully successful, from his questions with the abrupt turn. And even if Schuldig himself was surprised by his choice of words, it wasn't a lie per se. He was still hungry, after all.

Ran blinked in confusion. "Nani?"

"Now."

Ran raised one eyebrow at his sharp command, snorted, folded his arms, and rolled his eyes theatrically. "Hai, caveman-sama."

Eyed from all angles, it actually looked as if the younger man had no intention to follow his demand at all. This wasn't exactly the reaction he had hoped for and suddenly, Schuldig got very irritated. Maybe it was that his nerves were a little raw at the moment and all he wished for was a little sympathy from his lover instead of being mocked and dismissed so easily. Whatever the reason was, his irritation grew with each second until he felt real anger at Ran.

Letting out a low growl, Schuldig narrowed his eyes and started to walk up to him, his whole posture was screaming 'predator'.

"I'm everything but amused at the moment. We might be lovers, but don't forget that I'm still Mastermind of Schwarz. And I have little mercy for whoever tries to provoke me or makes the mistake of getting on my nerves. I'm the one who is feared by you meek, non-talented human beings, Ran. Don't you ever mistake me for a cuddly toy."

By the last words, he stood merely a few centimetres away from the Weiss leader, and the next ones were hissed directly into the younger man's face.

"Food. Now."

Ran, whose eyes had gradually widened during his speech, blinked a few times back at him. As if he wasn't so sure about what to make out of the outburst, the Weiss member tilted his head to the side and gazed at him thoughtfully.

"I suppose this isn't the right time to mention your bad breath."

That, and the cold rush of reality broke Schuldig's neck. Ran, koibito, was completely, utterly and totally unimpressed by his threat. And Ran, leader of Weiss, had completely, utterly and totally lost his fear for Mastermind.

Confronted with problem no. 4 and 5, Schuldig broke down. Literally.

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Ran watched wide-eyed when Schuldig dropped down on his knees, voice full of desperation.

"What the fuck have I ever done? I'm starving. I just want some food. Is this too much to ask for? So why? Why me? Why?"

Listening to the wailing, Ran felt pangs of remorse at Schuldig's obviously distressed state. It hadn't really been in his intention to brush him off or seriously mock him, least of all to bring him on the brink of a mental breakdown. Maybe he had let himself carry away after the fun session with Oracle and had overdone it a little. He had been aware of Schuldig's need for some food all the time, but apparently he had been oblivious to the young German's frayed nerves when he had insisted to first get some answers about his sister's behaviour.

Biting his bottom lip, Ran crouched down beside his upset lover.

"I'm sorry, Schu. It's just... I couldn't take you serious. You looked like a dishevelled street cat trying to act all mean."

Schuldig's head snapped up and he glared back. "It wasn't an act, goddamnit! I was pissed, Ran! PISSED!"

Ran grimaced at the furious tone and reached up to tug one orange strand of hair behind Schuldig's ear.

"Schu, seriously, you cannot believe that I will tremble in fear while one of your cat ears is hanging down. You're just too cute with... them..." Ran trailed off when Schuldig's eyes narrowed anew with each word, and he had the dim feeling that his attempt to soothe went entirely in the wrong direction. Clearing his throat, he continued with the most honest look he could muster.

"I swear I would have felt threatened without those cat ears... You did look rather mean and... dangerous."

Oh, good! Now Schuldig's eyes were glowering at him through tiny slits. Wasn't this a good sign?

With the realization that he had to be the most untalented peacemaker, Ran put on a meek smile and tousled the orange bangs to ease the mood.

"Look, Schu, I know you're hungry. There's some miso soup on the coun--Whoa!... Hey!... HEY!... OOOMPH!... AAAAH!"

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Grimly, Schuldig ignored the pained noises as he scrambled hurriedly over Ran's squirming body to the counter. When he pulled himself up, he listened only half-hearted to the whimpers and moans about 'pointed knees digging cruelly into tender stomachs'. And he absolutely didn't care for the hands pushing frantically against his thighs to get him off of said stomach as he stared speechlessly at the dish full of miso soup.

But what he couldn't ignore even if he whished for it whole-heartily was the unexpected twist of the body beneath him and the loss of his balance just as he reached out to the dish and took hold of it with the tips of his fingers.

Watching the soup fly through the air while he was helplessly falling to the side, Schuldig let out one long, desperate shout.

"NOOOOOOO!"

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

"AAAAAAAH!"

Ran screamed when Schuldig came falling towards him, miso soup following the man's path. He only had enough time to lay his arms protectively over his head when first the liquid and then the German came crushing down on him. For a few seconds he couldn't breathe, the weight of the body heavily falling down on his chest and soup splashing all over his face were hindering him effectively in this task. Blind panic shot through him. He pushed the whimpering Schwarz member off with more force than necessary and scrambled gasping on his hands and knees.

"You... crazy... German," Ran snapped weakly, busy with panting for air. "You almost broke my rips... That's the... second time you... knelt on me, you crazy... baka... Schu?"

Dead silence greeted him. His heart started to beat faster at the thought that something must be wrong, and the unpleasant feeling increased with each second of total absence of any reactions coming from Schuldig. The normally livid and noisy man was still lying on the floor, silent and unmoving.

Panic rose in Ran again as he bent forward, and the hand he reached out to lay down on the silent man's forehead was trembling slightly in fear. His words, filled with concern, were merely a whisper.

"Daijoubu ka, Schu?"

Schuldig stared blankly up to the ceiling.

"Schu, are you alright?"

Nothing. Not even a blink. Ran got frantic.

"Oh, Kami-sama... Schu! Answer me! Are you alright?"

Finally, the pupils contracted and the formerly blank look turned into an utterly disbelieving one.

"You have got to be kidding me. I got almost eaten by a panda, my own boyfriend punched me, Brad pesters me the whole time, the only food in almost two days went flying, and you have the nerve to ask me if everything is ALRIGHT?"

Ran's jaw went slack. Blood surged to his face; he stood up, and hissed down in irritation.

"Fine! See if I care! I swear this was the last time I felt worried for you, you ungrateful bastard!"

"Ran, I--"

"Shut up."

"Ran--"

"URUSAI!"

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Oh Gods, what have I done now?

Groaning, Schuldig set up and pressed his palms tightly against his forehead. He knew he had bundled all his anger for everything that had went wrong in the last few hours and had let it loose in the spurt of the moment. It wasn't Ran's fault, never had been his from the beginning. And instead of being thankful for the care and concern, he just had to open his big mouth. He had fucked up big time, and now Ran was pissed.

Schuldig regretted it from the bottom of his heart, but he couldn't anymore. It was just too much for him. He felt beaten, whacked, at the end of his tether. It was like an endless spiral downwards and all he could do was to watch helplessly. Everything he said was wrong. Every move he made directed him straight into more chaos and disasters. The wish to just curl up was stronger than ever before.

"Eat."

Startled, Schuldig let the hands down and blinked owlish at the object only a few millimetres away from his nose. It was like a dream. Ran was holding a bowl full of miso soup. Ran wasn't angry anymore. Ran was calm; his voice soft and sympathetic.

"You can eat while I'm moping up the floor."

"Ran, I--"

"Just eat, Schu. It will help you over the first hunger."

No, it wasn't a dream. It was heaven! Schuldig took the bowl gratefully and alternately spooned and drank from it. It was cold, perhaps even from the day before, but it was the best meal since a very long time. Finishing the last drops and watching Ran ending his own task by washing out the soiled cloth, Schuldig decided that he should make the next move to bring again peace between them.

Getting up from the floor, he walked up to Ran who stood by the counter, and took him in an affectionate embrace from behind. With his arms around the waist and with his chin resting on the younger man's shoulder, Schuldig mused loudly.

"I believe arguments have their good sides, too."

Ran shook his head in negation but he relaxed into the embrace and even smiled. "Don't think so, Schu. There's nothing but anger and words which hurt the one we love."

"Aa." Schuldig tightened his hold in agreement. "But there's one thing about arguments you haven't experienced yet, Liebling."

"So?"

Good, Ran was sceptical but also very curious. The next words had to be delivered perfectly to bring the best effect. Placing little kisses on his lover's neck, Schuldig bent slightly forward until his lips brushed over one ear, and the magic words he breathed directly into the lovely shell made Ran shiver in his arms.

"Make-up sex."

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

tbc

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Liebling (germ.): Darling/Honey/Love/Sweetheart

Picklet: pig

Roo: kangaroo

Eeyore: donkey (Isn't Eeyore PERFECT for Crawford? #grin#)

.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.

Black Kitten: BWAHAHA! Am I evil or what to end at such a point? Ah, but that means lemon in the next chapter, minna-san! Great, ne? Oh, has someone noticed the smooth and quite clever turn from 'Aya' to 'Ran'?

Readers: #murmur# I got completely confused by that sudden change from Aya to Ran... Yeah, me too... Who was who? Can someone please explain it to me?... That's what they like to call poetic license. Poetic, my ass. Nobody thinks about us poor readers... I don't get it. I'm afraid I've to reread it.

Black Kitten: #gulps# Er, I see... Oookay, reviews! Let's begin with... Skeren Dreamera. #winces at glare and starts to wail# You have NO idea how hard it was to balance the whole mess!... Fan art? What fan art?... It was terrible! Ran was stubborn, Schu acted like a diva, Farfie did everything but what I told him, Omi and Nagi were cuddling the whole time, Brad just--

Schu: What are you? A film-maker?

Black Kitten: Uhm, something like that. Skeren, I hope you enjoyed how everyone reacted. I know it could be better and that I missed some perfect scenes to make it funnier but with such terrible actors it was really hard to bring it at least on this level. I suffered! Greatly! You cannot image how horri--!

Schu: And she calls me diva. #rolls eyes#... Amber Bock. BWAHAHA! Amber wrote that your fingers should turn black until your nails fall off!

Black Kitten: WHAT?... #eyes numb and badly discoloured hands suspiciously# Why do I have this funny feeling that Amber has something to do with it?

Schu: Yay! Finally some justice! But Texas is way too small, Amber. Her hands should have the size of the Milky Way!

Black Kitten: The chocolate bar?

Schu: Idiot... You think Brad rules, Amber? Funny idea... Aya uke... Oh, yes. I can already see him, flushed and glistering in sweat, trembling and squirming in almost unbearable desire underneath me while I'm driving him higher and higher into spheres of yet unexplored mind-blowing lus--

Ran: Ah, so many lotus-eaters in the universe, it's almost sad... LoneCayt. Oh, you're so right! But 'embarrassment' isn't the right word to describe the torture we're going through. That would be humiliation, or degradation, or... What the hell do you mean by 'you're not complaining'? We're suffering here! SUFFERING!... My heart... I need some sedatives... Green tea...

Black Kitten: Take Valium. It's more effective and works faster.

Ran: So that I'm even more helpless to your evil torments? Don't think so... LoneCayt, Black Kitten's joke WAS terrible. Therefore, I've learned some German words, just for you... Bitte hilf uns. Wir werden hier gefangen gehalten. Verständige die Polizei. Von mir aus auch Eszet... Rosenkreuz... völlig egal. Hole uns einfach nur hier raus. Sie ist völlig verrückt. Komplett irre. Durchgeknallt.

Black Kitten: #yaw hits floor# WIE BITTE? ICH HABE MICH WOHL VERHÖRT!

Ran: OO... Oh, Kami-sama, I forgot German's her first language.

Brad: Oh my, I really don't want to be in Ran's skin now... Bloodrose 'Valentine' Foxxstar. #straightens up and adjusts glasses# Dear Foxxstar, if you ask me, just kick your muse. I do this occasionally to my underlings to remind those lazy #beep# of their... er... underling's position and it helps immensely. Now, it actually looks as if Schuldig's going to be uke again to everyone's satisfaction except... Schuldig's. And I do hope the amount of Schuldig and Ran interactions was to your satisfaction. Furthermore--

Schu: #shouts# Can someone please pull the mammoth tree out off mister Stiff & Prim?

Brad: #stiff# That was... uncalled for. #eyes Yohji# What an interesting idea. I can actually see me as the dominant and cool seducer of said play-boy. With my charisma, it should be easy to tame this womanizer. To bend him to my will and to turn his, as we all know, pretended libido for women into unbearable lust for me until he's nothing but a mewling creature lying at my feet.

Yohji: #open-mouthed#... Tigermink. I'm glad you liked the previous chapter, really, but could you be so nice and HELP ME OUT OF THIS INSANITY?

Brad: Insanity? #snorts# It's undeniably a natural reaction of your body and mind to my erotic authority.

Yohji: ... Angst!... Tigermink, it's great you're happy about the update... or, you were happy before you were reading the new chapter... Actually, I've no idea how you're feeling now, after you have read the new one...

Ken: Blah. Blah. Blah. What a pitiful reply to a review. Watch me!... Spawn of Hell. Um... Was there enough fun stuff for you?

Yohji: #after ten seconds of silence# That's all?

Ken: There isn't more to reply to!

Yohji: #imitates Ken# Watch me! Watch me!

Ran: Immature. Both of you... gamegirl28. Evil wand dealer!

Ken & Yohji: #meaningful looks# Says the kettle.

Ran: #blushes# Actually, I wanted to thank you for your kind opinion about my sister, gamegirl. I know she seems a little naive, but that's without discussion an evil influence from the evil, evil authoress. Let's face it. The whole characterization of her is just unrealistic. Aya-chan would never be that oblivious to all those evidences, hints, and incidents right under her nose.

Aya-chan: What evidences, hints, and incidents, my dear Drag Queen Ran-chan-bunny-niisan?

Ran: #mouth opens several times soundlessly# ... That's not real ... That's not my baby-sister... That's a... doppelganger... android... robot... #heavy trauma#

Black Kitten: And onto the next review!... xpennyroyalx. Thank you! It's wonderful to know that the story gets better and better and not worse than it already is. Oh, I'm also very sad that Nagi is mute. Very, very sad. And I have this terrible feeling he will remain in this state for a very, very long time.

Nagi: #facial features contorted with vehement protest#

Black Kitten: #bends forward# What? Can you speak a little louder? I can't hear you, darling. #sniggers#

Omi: Oh, you evil, evil abuser of helpless little assassin bishies!... #blinks#... Strange, something was just wrong with that sentence... crisis-antilogy. I want to thank you in Black Kitten's name for your review. Arigato! Oh! If you find Schuldig's description about the family called Schwarz funny, you should hear mine about Weiss! Ken, I know we're not a model family with all those girly aprons and pink mopeds-

Schu: #bored# Spare us.

Omi: But--

Schu: Kyra2. I've absolutely no idea what Brad's problem is, but look at this! #rolls up sleeve# Can you see the black dots on my arm, Kyra? Those are BRUISES! On MY tender skin! I'm DELICATE! But does Brad respect my sensitive nature? NO! He just had to use brutal strength! Did he invite me in like any other normal human being would have done? NO! He just--

Brad: Now I know why we never had a single chance to rule the world. Wimps... Delfeus. #imitates rapper speech#... Yo, man... I love you too, man... It cracked me up too, man... Keep cool, man... What a 'beep' little 'beep', man...

Weiss & Schwarz: #wide-eyed# What the hell was that?

Brad: #back to normal# I just wanted to prove that I'm not as stiff as you all like to believe. I can be very cool if needed.

Black Kitten: Of course you can, Oh Great Daddy Bradley-O!... Gomen ne, Delfeus, no idea what has bitten him. Well, that was creepy. #shudders#... Zanzahra. Hi! Um, I hope Crawford hasn't permanently destroyed your image of him with his strange rap thing. I reread the whole story and it seems Schu and Ran have those little spats in each chapter. What a funny coincidence, ne? #smiles innocently#. And Schu and Ran are sooo cute! With all those cute little glares and cute little wrinkles between their eyes, but sometimes they're awfully cranky, and stubborn, and snotty, and... Ah, that's easily forgotten because of their cute little...noses. #cough#

Ran: Noses?

Back Kitten: Oh my, school. I remember. It can be such a bitch... KT. Hey! Farfie! That's for you!

Farfie: #eyes review# Chaos and manipulation of feelings? #broad grin# Ah, pure nectar for the peace of my mind. Dear KT, let me tell you the best of all those funny little past-time activities. It's to play with people minds and feelings without getting caught, without leaving traces and evidences. To mislead them, to manipulate them. To play them off against each other while creating the illusion that they act on their own free will. To play with those puppets, to know that you're the devil himself while pulling the strings to your own evil amuse-

Schu: Hey! Those are my lines! I'm the Mastermind here!

Farfie: #snorts# You wish.

Black Kitten: #gulp#... Erm, that was very nice, Farfie. Next one... lil-evil-bunni. WOAH! A whip?... Uhm... I think that one's for you, Ran!

Ran: Let's see. #evil grin# Schu, get down on your knees!... No, not enough force... Slave, get down on your unworthy belly and kiss your master's holy feet, you worthless slimy worm!

Schu: #raises eyebrow# Pardon me?

Ran: #puzzled# Why didn't it work?

Black Kitten: I believe you forgot to use the whip.

Schu: #rolls eyes and takes review sheet# Heh, I'm a sexy beast!

Ran: You sure it isn't about me?

Schu: ... Damn, he's right... #quickly changes subject# Hey, Nagi! Lil-evil-bunni wants to see you!

Nagi: #walks off, blissfully ignorant like Hansel without his Gretel to the evil, evil witch... erm... to lil-evil-bunny #

Farfi: Wow, that was mean of you, Schu. Didn't know you had such cruelty in you.

Black Kitten: I'm shocked. Really. Have fun with Nagi, lil-evil-bunni!... Sky Rat. Oh, it hurt you that I finished the previous chapter at such a point? Then, you must be screaming in unbearable pain at the moment. Phew, thank goodness I've plugged my ears. Ah, yes, make-up sex. Such a nice little promise for the next chapter. Now, there's only one question. Who should be uke this time? Hmmm.

Ran & Schu: #points at each other# Take him!

Black Kitten: See, Sky Rat? Cowards, all of them! It doesn't hurt #cough# much #cough# to be uke from time to time.

Schu: Excuse me, you FEMALE exemplar of the human race, but I've the PROOF that it hurts like--

Black Kitten: And onto the next one!... Hope. #munches Magical Cookie# Thanks for the cookies! Ah, Brad is rather helpless at the moment. That's no surprise; Farfie's way too twisted for him. But this IS Crawford we're talking about so their positions can change in seconds.

Brad: #hopeful# Really?

Farfie: #suspicious# Really?

Black Kitten: #whistles innocently# ... About Aya-chan, I love her, really. She's such a nice girl, and don't forget she's Ran's sister. #sighs# Ah, he's so adorable when he's acting all stern and knits his brows and throws those cute little glares at everyone and everything.

Schu: #rolls eyes# Surely he can't be cuter than me.

Black Kitten: ... Er, oh my, those cookies are delicious. Gunning Angel. Thank you so much for the great review! #hugs and takes on deep voice# Ran, assassin by night and flower selling drag queen by day. #sniggers# Can you image him with feather boa and extra long cigarette holder? Thank Gods Ran's just as manly as a man can be.

Ran: #looks up from painting his toe nails# Are you talking to me?

Black Kitten: #blinks#... No, honey, don't let me... disturb you... OH GODS.

Schu: See? I told you the whole time Ran IS a natural born uke!

Black Kitten: That's... nothing but cliché... or so they say. Let's change to Aya-chan. I really like her, Gunning Angel, and that she has chosen Berserker to be the best lover for her brother makes her absolutely adorable in my opinion. Oh, about your request, I fear there wasn't as much interaction between Schu and Ran as you asked me for, but that's going to change in the next chapter. I swear! I just had to work out how to solve the chaos first before it's time for cuddling.

Schu: And you were SO successful with it. Do I have to remind you that there's still--

Black Kitten: Nope... Rebound. Thank you very mu--... WHAT? The pairing kinda grows on you? NOOO! #pulls out magical pendulum and slowly swings it back and forth# Just repeat what I'm saying, Rebound. I love SchuxRanxSchu. I love SchuxRanxSchu. I lo--

Ran: Kami-sama, have you no shame? That's just sad.

Black Kitten: #glares, takes Nagi's notepad and starts scribbling# Next chapter... must make perfect lemon... to convince potential new member... for SchuxRanxSchu fan club.

Ran: #surprised# Did I really say sad? Silly me. I meant pathetic, pitiable, wretched--

Black Kitten: Grrrrr. #scribbles on# And to succeed, I just have to make Ran UKE.

Ran: NOOOO!

Black Kitten: HA! Too late! #points out tongue# Back to you, Reboud. About Yohji, actually, the ongoing 'zip zip' noises from his wire-watch-weapon did get on everyone's nerves. You should have seen it! It was so funny! Crawford went berserk and shoved it up Yohji's #beep#! And now Yohji looks like a jumping... jack... Oh, gods, please tell me I didn't write this just now.

Schu: Ladies and Gentlemen, due to the fact that Black Kitten is currently speechless...

Black Kitten: #speechless#

Schu: #smirks# I'll take over... Jiyuu. Oh! You're so right. I'm also rather clueless why I'm being paired up with Ran so rarely. It's a pity. And I know you did it unconsciously and surely haven't noticed it, but you made an itsy-bitsy mistake in your review. It's SchuxRan, not the other way around. Schu seme, Ran uke. Schu top, Ran bottom. Schu master, Ran sla--... Oh crap... Hi, Liebling!

Ran: #glares# You slimy little... Dear Jiyuu, ignore that desperate German over there. He's living in a dream world with little relation to reality. Must be some side effect of his telepathy. Am I right, Schuschu?

Schu: #meekly# Hai, Ran-chan.

Ran: #smirks# Thought so. Luna Kaira. #raises eyebrows# The story's getting much more interesting? What the hell is wrong with those people? What's so interesting about our misery? The constant embarrassments? The humiliations? The dishonour? The--

Black Kitten: Isn't it fascinating how Ran can nag on and on and on without getting tired... or taking a breath?

Ran: Nani? I'm not nagging! It's true! Nobody knows how much we suffer and... #rambles on and on and on#

Black Kitten: Luna Kaira, I'm deeply ashamed of that whining Weiss hunter's behaviour. Just ignore him. I hope you liked the new chapter!... Crystalline. Thank you! Ah, the chapter was already done at the time you wrote the review. I really hope you liked it despite the long waiting.

Schu: Funny, I could have waited another year, no, century, no, millennium, no, make it millions of years.

Black Kitten: #glares#... Kit3. Oh, public places are evil, evil places. I know what you mean. A few weeks ago I checked my mail in a cafe and had to laugh out loud. You know those sudden, short and terribly loud noises? It was--

Schu: Ah! You mean those grunts pigs are making!

Black Kitten: Nnnnnng... Just ignore him, Kit3. Really, it was sooo embarrassing. I had all eyes on me!

Schu: No way that it was more embarrassing than that one time when you laughed while drinking and the liquid shot out of your--

Black Kitten: And before I forget myself and strangle a certain German carrot-head, let's call it a day. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! Until next time, minna-san!