Black Kitten: Hi, minna-san! Sorry for the late update. Well, it's again 18 pages long so I hope it's worth the long wait. Furthermore, I'm off on vacation for three weeks without any chances to write on a new chapter, but I promise, the minute I'm back again I will roll up my sleeves and--
Schu: Boooooring.
Black Kitten: #glares#... To cut a long story short, thank you for your patience (past and future) and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MANY REVIEWS! #hugs reviewers#
Schu: #annoyed# Do you really have to shout?
Black Kitten: Oh, could it be that someone's cranky here? Anyway, thanks to the reviewers, I've got a recommendation for a book I can hopefully read on my vacation, a proposal of marriage, and... err... a threat.
Schu: HA! A threat! Finally! #makes incredibly stupid happy-dance#
Black Kitten: #smirks# Yes. That I should update.
Schu: #dumbstruck expression#
Black Kitten: YAY! He's speechless! #makes incredibly stupid happy-dance#... Please enjoy the new chapter, minna-san!
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Disclaimer: To whom it may concern Weiß Kreuz doesn't belong to me. It's the property of Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiss (if my sources are correct). And I don't make money out of writing this story.
Warnings: NO BETA. German's still my first language. FFnet deleted again question marks in combination with exclamation marks #cries bitterly#. Well, there's a lot of character abuse and... Poor, poor bishies. #cackles#
"blah blah" … thoughts… /telepathy/
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Black Kitten's Dream
This is SO not happening!
Part 16
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For the first time in his life Crawford understood how a frightened little baby deer felt caught by the headlights of a fast approaching eighteen wheeled monster truck. It was by far not a pleasant experience. And for the first time in his life he felt sorry for all those unfortunate roadkills out there.
Let's talk.
Three little words, spoken with such honey-sweet and at the same time venom dripping voice that shivers crept slowly up and down his spine, and he felt a tingle on his neck as if Beelzebub himself was standing behind him, sulphurous foul breath washing over his skin accompanied by insane cackling and cheerfully shouted encouragements for Berserker to just have some fun.
And it was as if Farfarello got Beelzebub's message.
The sneer turned into something promising eternal pain and misery, and slowly, leisurely, Farfarello got into motion, stepped away from the doorway and approached him gracefully and deadly like a stalking panther its prey.
Crawford's heartbeat got faster, and the cold sweat that started to make an appearance brought an unpleasant sensation of foreboding and the urge to wipe his brows. He swallowed hard, fought a battle with himself to hold the eye contact, to keep his eyes on Berserker's features to discover in time when the young Irishman would leap, while his inside screamed at him not to be a fool, to watch out for any kind of movements of the hand holding the big, sharp hunting knife.
And in all this chaos, with all those turbulences storming and roaring through his mind and body, Crawford desperately waited for visions about Berserker's upcoming actions.
And he got none. Again.
Well, wow, what a huge surprise.
And while Farfarello's golden eye regarded him predatorily, his own widened with each step the young Irishman made towards him. And his suddenly very dry throat started to constrict as if said Beelzebub was strangling him from behind, just for good measure as if he wasn't in enough panic already.
And only one single thought was rotating through the chaos that was his mind.
Good Lord, how the hell am I supposed to get out of this mess?
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Oh, that fucking son of a bitch. Arrogant bastard acts as if this is a meeting for a goddamn picnic. How dare he keep a straight face? That presumptuous asshole doesn't even blink! Who the hell does he think he is? Dismissing him like a father his recalcitrant brat. Enthroned on the kitchen chair like a medieval landlord glancing over the dirty crowd with a bored look. Fucking uncaring bastard dares to play mind games with the innocent... ah... with the subordinate... No, more with a comrade, or... Friend, yes, a friend. Or was he more a... pet?
Farfarello shook his head to dispel the strange direction of his thoughts and let out a low growl. He wasn't a damn lackey and never will be. He was too proud, too wild, and too irrepressible to be an underling for anyone. He was part of Schwarz of his own free will, for the fun it brought with all the missions and attempted world domination, and certainly not because he was someone's goddamn pet.
The man who believes he can tame him would find himself bleeding to death with his throat ripped open.
The man who believes he can treat him like he was some fucking harmless retard would get a nasty surprise.
And the man who actually has the nerve to believe all those things was sitting two steps away from him, completely unimpressed by his threatening appearance. That cretin doesn't even glance once at his freshly sharpened hunting knife!
"Bastard." Farfarello formed his frustration into this single word, knowing all-too well that as a leader Crawford commands respect from his subordinates and an insult of his person would automatically lead to an instant response.
Normally.
But there was no reaction whatsoever. Crawford's face was as blank as before. Oh, that wasn't quite correct. Crawford did react as for he reached up to adjust his glasses. Prick.
Snarling about the constantly cool and unperturbed behaviour of the older man and barely keeping his anger under control, Farfarello tightened the grip on the hunting knife and stabbed it into the table top forcefully while he bared his teeth in an aggressive way.
"How dare you mock me? I will make you hurt like I hurt God all the time and I will make you weep like I make Him weep all the time when I maim His pure, innocent, stupid angels and tear their feathers bit by bit from their blood soaked wi--"
"Cut that crap. It was funny the first few times but now it's just plain boring. I'm neither Weiss nor a stupid priest or one of those incompetent, easy to manipulate psychiatrist of those so-called highly regarded asylums for mentally disordered dangerous criminals. I know how your mind works. I know that you're not a psychopath but an ordinary sociopath. I'm aware of the fact that you take your pills solely for the psychedelic side-effects and the stoned feeling you get from them. And I do know that you're out of the strait jacket in no time, so please, don't insult my intelligence any further and spare me your dumb acting."
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Am I CRAZY? What the hell am I saying? I'm completely nuts! He's going to kill me! Where's my gun? Oh Jesus fucking Christ, where the hell is my fucking gun? I'm dead. I'm so dead. I'm--
The sudden chilling draft of the hunting knife which flew past his right ear to embed itself into the wall behind him convinced Crawford's heart to go on a strike for at least five terribly long seconds before the muscle resumed its work reluctantly. There was even a short pause of wonderful silence - one would say his mind went blank due to the heavy shock Farfarello's sudden attack had triggered - before his subconscious joined forces with his survival instinct and they broke through, screaming at him deafeningly to end this insane situation at once.
And they were right; as always. Farfarello was dangerous and particularly merciless if he wasn't taken serious. Everything on him was ruthless, even his way of being unforgiving to those who dare to poke fun at him was a threat in itself. And all those years he had managed to avoid a serious confrontation with the young Irishman with almost painful effort, but now, his own stupid temper had thwarted him.
It was the temperament of a leader accustomed to give out orders with the knowledge that they were being followed without discussion, and it had settled itself firmly into his brain. Add sarcasm to this cursed trait and you have an explosive mix which can bring everyone to their knees easily but should never be used on Berserker.
What the hell had ridden him to disregard his knowledge about Farfarello's personality, and, even worse, to draw his anger? What had he thought he could gain when he had accepted Farfarello's challenge? He never had had a chance in the first place. Oh, he had had a short moment of sweet tasting triumph with the unexpected kiss, but had it really been worth? He never wanted to be on the receiving end of Berserker's wrath and now, after he had ignored and crossed his own carefully defined boundaries it was too late.
Farfarello was furious and out for blood.
And he was just so tired, exhausted, and had too much caffeine in his veins that wreaked havoc upon his already thin nerves. The energy for the witty replies he had made during the amusing drama between Schuldig and Weiss only minutes ago had already vanished into thin air. It had been like a short flare of a dying candle. Like the last rear of a tormented soul reaching out in desperation to catch one of those mockingly slowly withdrawing rays of hope and free... dom... What the hell was he prattling about?
Gods, now he not only had straying thoughts, he was even thinking nonsense on top of his misery. That's it. He couldn't concentrate properly anymore. His tongue was faster than his brain, a serious problem for such a dangerous situation, and, seriously, he was just too old for such ridiculous, meaningless games.
He would tell Farfarello that it is over.
He would declare his defeat and would announce Farfarello's victory.
And for the love of peace he would apologize for the kiss.
"So, Brad. You really think you know how my mind works?"
Crawford nodded slowly, thoughtfully. It was an automatic response, a reflex, nothing more. And it was quite excusable, as tired and as occupied as he was with his own thoughts. However, when the realization of the meaning of the little movement of his head hit him like a bolt from the blue approximately two seconds later, it left him speechless in disbelief.
Did he just nod instead of shaking his head?
Did he just confirm Farfarello's assumption?
And did he just make the situation WORSE?
Okay.
It was official.
He was stark raving mad.
Maybe he could use this discovery as an excuse?
Apparently not, if he interpreted Farfarello's furious look correctly. Thank God the knife was out of reach, deeply imbedded in the wall behind. For now, that is. Farfarello could be fast if he wanted. A white blur followed by a stream of red. Indeed he was a frightening creature. And in addition to his deadly skills he doesn't flinch from playing dirty in order to accomplish whatever he was out for. In this case it would be a stupid revenge for a stupid thoughtless and rash moment of stupid payback after the destruction of a stupid living room.
Oh, he had to admit he was as shocked as he was fascinated by the current situation, and he had to give Farfarello credit for the fact that he had managed his leader's physical and mental downfall in under twenty-four hours. An all-time record the young Irishman could be proud of because no one had ever accomplished this before.
Maybe he should begin to consider the possibility of retirement. There wasn't much need for a leader anymore after all. With Schwarz official dead along with the elders and Eszet crushed beyond repair, Schwarz was nothing more than a loose group of three men and a teenager, taking alternative underground jobs to avoid getting bored and to earn some pocket money.
Yes, the idea of retirement was very tempting. However, first of all he had to end the current situation and for that he needed to concentrate, to collect his mind to find the magical words that would pacify the younger man.
Closing his eyes, Crawford reached up and started to massage the bridge of his nose while he gathered his thoughts. He put together a few words, formed a passable sentence, nodded once, and opened his eyes again to speak them out loud.
"Farfffff..." The rest of the carefully constructed sentence blew away like a thin rice paper seized by a tsunami, and the utterly embarrassing fact that he sounded like a decrepit air bed that was slowly losing its air was almost as shocking as the sight which greeted him.
Farfarello's golden eye gleamed with something utterly wicked and his scarred lips were widened into a very disturbing smile.
It was the smile of a predator.
Holy fucking shit!
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Surrounded by darkness, Schuldig's entire mind was focused on the merciless pulling, on the gruesome tugging which brought a prickling sensation over his scalp and let goose bumps rise all over his skin.
Oh, blind he was, but not deaf.
And so he could clearly hear those unmistakeable, dreadful noises made by two sharp metallic pieces sliding over each other again and again, and over and over again.
Click. Click. Click. Pause. Click. Pause. Click. Sigh.
"Okay, I'm done."
Already?
"You can look."
Oh, let the darkness surround him a little more. Let it be a warm embrace, a comforter, a shelter against those horrible things outsi--
"Open your eyes, Schu."
Wasn't it too early? Shouldn't Ran continue a little bit longer?
"Kami-sama, don't be so childish!"
Schuldig frowned at the impatient, slightly annoyed tone of his lover. Ran could at least show some pity for his situation instead of acting as if he was dealing with a whiny brat. There goes the love. Ha! Fickle creature!
Ah, but he had to admit that Ran had a point. He shouldn't make such a fuss about it like some teenage girl over a pimple. He was a grown man, seriousness was his second name. He couldn't deny that he had been terribly out of character lately, a fact he wasn't very proud of because he had made a fool out of himself far too many times in those few hours. And whatever the reason had been that had triggered such an emotional up and down, it was time to put an end to it.
Yes, it was high time to return to his older self.
As from now, he would be cool, professional, and very, very calm. Just like his older self had been before this cursed mission had started. No one would be able to agitate him anymore. No one would dare to make fun of him anymore because no one fucks with the real Mastermind and lives to tell about it. Well, except Ran, of course. The rest of Weiss just has to turn back to the image of the good old dangerous Mastermind and if not, it would be their own fault if they woke up as drooling imbecile idiots.
Well, there was the possibility that Ran wouldn't be very happy to have Schwarz's Mastermind back, but he just couldn't disguise himself anymore. A continuation of this charade would be nothing but a lie, and therefore, it would be better to confront Ran with the true personality of Mastermind now and to take the risk of rejection than to wait any longer.
And furthermore, it would show him how strong their bond really was. It was a chance for Ran to show him how much he loved him, if he would take him with the few flaws and sporadic weaknesses he has, or if it was only his exotic, sexy appearance that had made the young Japanese fall in love with him.
It would be the ultimate proof of love.
Satisfied that his strange, possibly even by hormones triggered emotional outbursts and sentimentalisms were about to find an end, and positive that Ran was going to choose the whole package, sexy body and evil but intelligent mind, Schuldig could finally relax his tense muscles. With a tiny sigh of relief and pleasant anticipation, he changed back to his older self, formed a perfect smirk on his lips, opened his eyes with a bored, nonchalant look
and screamed.
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"Holy crap!" Omi's jerk of surprise almost cost Nagi's right eye.
Omi had been rubbing on his lover's forehead with a soaped washcloth in order to remove the silly word BEAGLE when the bloodcurdling scream had scared the living daylights out of him. And the loud squeak Nagi made right after the washcloth had generously brought soap in his open eye was an additional shock and nearly got him a heart attack despite his young age.
Confronted with a watery, red eye from his madly blinking and pitifully whimpering boyfriend, Omi hastily soaked the washcloth with clear water so that he could ease the stinging pain of his young lover. It wasn't an easy task. While he was holding the washcloth under the water, he had to push Nagi back down on the chair the poor boy, half-blind and clearly in panic about the sudden painful attack on his eye, desperately tried to stand up from.
"Omi, please," the young Schwarz member pleaded with his voice still low and hoarse from the incident.
Ignoring the whimpered plea with a heavy heart to carry out the task without any distractions, and with a silent vow that he would comfort Nagi thoroughly afterwards, Omi turned his full attention on the injured eye and started to wipe off the soap carefully. Another attempt from the younger boy to get up was instantly prevented by a firm grip on his chin.
"Hold still, love."
"Omi, you--"
"I know and I'm deeply sorry."
He felt terrible for what he had done to Nagi, and he was mortified beyond imagination about his poor, unprofessional reaction. He was utterly embarrassed that a scream, even as frightening as it had sounded, had startled him that much. The last thing he could do now was to ease his lover's pain and that as fast as possible. Therefore, every time Nagi tried to stand up, Omi would put a resolute hand on the shoulder to push him back down while he continued to wipe the closed and uncontrolled fluttering eyelid.
"Omi, just--"
"Hold still, Nagi."
"Omi, please, let me--"
"Poor honey."
"OMI!"
"Hush. I know it hurts." Omi's voice was filled with sympathy for this lover's misery. "Only a few more wipes and then it's-- GAH!"
The unexpected sudden force of two hands hitting the centre of his chest to push him away let him stumble a few steps back where he stood stunned, speechless for a moment and a little taken aback about his lover's offensive act against him. Confused, Omi opened his mouth to question Nagi about it, but the younger boy just jumped up from his chair and dashed like a madman to the basin to tilt his head down and to hold his face under the...
Oh.
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Water. Clear, cool, ever running water. The source of life. The source of joy. The source to end this maddening, almost unbearable pain in his right eye.
Letting the water generously run over his eye, Nagi sighed blissfully every second the liquid washed out more of the soap. Gods, to feel the pain go away was as if he was reborn, and he wanted to embrace the whole world in gratitude for this brilliant invention called water tap that brought such awesome liquid. He just hoped that his eye hadn't been damaged through the ordeal.
Ordeal.
In other words
Omi.
Nagi turned off the water unhurriedly, griped a towel, and dried his face thoroughly with it even though he knew, judged from the dampness of it, that it wasn't a fresh one and that it was apparently one of those Balinese had... used... Okay, he so didn't want to know who else had dried his body and therefore certain parts of it with the towel he was rubbing his... face... with... Ew!
Shuddering, Nagi put the towel hastily away, griped the lower part of his shirt and wiped off his face frantically in a feeble attempt to get rid of all those nasty germs. Praying that he hadn't caught any disease from Weiss' self-proclaimed playboy, Nagi let go of his shirt again, took a deep breath, and turned to the source of his ordeal.
"Omi, I love you. I really do. But to hold me down while I'm in pain is not nice!... Omi?"
Omi was a picture of misery. His face was so red that Nagi feared the blood would never flow back again to make its normal vital way through the body to the blood needing heart, and he wrung his hands as if he wanted to squeeze juice out of them. And his eyes, oh gods, his eyes! Blue pools of pure, heartbreaking sorrow.
"Nagi... I'm so sorry... I don't know why I... I didn't think... You have to believe me..."
Three steps and Nagi was in front of his stammering lover. "It's okay, Omi."
His attempt to reassure his crestfallen lover was rewarded by a miserable "Oh gods, Nagi." and a bear hug with an almost desperate grip around his waist that pressed their bodies tightly together. Too tightly.
Gasping for breath and sure that two or three rips had shifted to places where they simply didn't belong, Nagi tapped his lover's shoulders repeatedly to get his attention. "You're squeezing me to death and it hurts!"
Omi loosened his death-grip instantly with a pained expression on his face, clearly berating himself for another ordeal he had put his lover through. "I'm terribly sorry, love. I can't believe what I did to you."
"Look, Omi. Just forget it."
"But I can't! The whole time you tried to get up to do the right thing and I held you down like a calf getting a branding!"
Nagi grimaced at the disturbing image Omi had created. "Now you're exaggerating. It doesn't even hurt anymore."
"It's glaring red!"
"I'm a frigging assassin, Omi. I live with three other assassins in something that could be called as a happy but incredibly deranged family. One of them is an I-know-everything, one is an I-have-to-know-everything, and the last one is a psychopathic joker. Don't you think I didn't have worse than this?"
"... Oh."
"Yes, oh."
"But--"
"No buts." Nagi shook his head sternly and took hold of Omi's right hand. "Let's just end this stupidity and investigate where that bloodcurdling scream had come from. Okay?"
Wow. It worked. It actually worked.
Omi, although still a little hesitant and apparently not very happy that he couldn't apologize properly, instantly looked worried, nodded in agreement, and followed him out of the bath room like a good little duck.
Nagi wasn't proud about the manipulation, but it was a perfect distraction for his lover to turn his interest on something else than that stupid eye. He knew Omi was just as curious about the high-pitched scream of terror as he was, and with his Weiss mentality he was like a white knight in shiny amour ready to come to everyone's help at any time. With all the slaughtering of dragons, climbing of hair ropes, or kissing dead princesses. Yuck.
Well, somewhere in this house was a damsel in distress according to the scream they had heard, so rescue it was.
They had made two steps out of the bathroom when a door slammed open with a loud bang.
Out came a furious Schuldig followed by a frowning Ran.
"Schu! Wait!"
"I don't talk to you anymore!"
"Don't be silly."
"You cut me fucking holes!"
"It's just hair!"
"JUST HAIR?"
"Yes! Just hair! I know it's a miracle, a mystery, a wonder, but it grows again!"
"Oh you... Sarcasm after you fucked up! That's just wonderful! Why don't you admit that you could have been more carefully!"
"I'm not a goddamn coiffeur!"
"Did I cut you holes when I removed your bunny ears? Huh? HUH? NO!"
"You had it easier! My hair's straight! Yours like a wild, thick jungle compared to mine! Omi."
"... What's a fucking omi? Great. A Japanese word I don't know. I swear, if you have just insulted me, I'll turn to German!"
"Oh, I wouldn't have a chance to insult you in Japanese. I do believe that the first words you learnt to communicate with my fellow countrymen were swearwords, my silly little blöder Hammel baka."
"... That was... cruel and so below the belt."
"Aa. And now turn around. Right behind you. My Omi and your Prodigy."
Nagi, spellbound by the whole spectacle, watched fascinated as Schuldig's back stiffened and the German slowly turned around with a disbelieving look on his face. He didn't have to look at Omi who stood beside him to know that he had the same speechless expression on his face as he had.
Two adult men bickering over hair like some kindergarteners.
Unbelievable.
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Ran felt incredibly drained. The constant banters seemed to absorb all his energy and he was so tired of it. He just wanted to pick up a good book and take a warm, soothing bubble bath surrounded by soft candlelight and quiet classical music behind a closed door. But he couldn't. He knew that Schuldig, now that the young German was aware that they had some witnesses to their silly bickering, would react in a way that would lead straight to another argument.
Yes, Ran was very, very tired of being the only level-headed around here, and he was quite fed up with all those unnecessary disputes he had to settle. But to prevent further headaches he had to react. And that fast. Therefore, he stepped in front of Schuldig to block his view on the two teenagers and to draw his attention with soft spoken words.
"I'm sorry about the holes, Schu. Though, in the strict sense they aren't really holes. Just shorter hair, that's all. In any case, it isn't that bad because you have enough hair to hide it." And to prove his point, Ran reached up and started to arrange the orange hair while Schuldig watched him with mild interest.
Placing strands of hair left and right to cover the spots, Ran worked concentrated until he was satisfied with the result and stepped back to eye it critically.
Good gracious!
In front of him stood an Indian with a turban.
Answering Schuldig's questioning look with a reassuring smile, Ran stepped up again and rearranged the long orange strands. Left, right, up, down, across, round and round and round, and one step back.
Kami-sama!
Now it looked like a nest made by a bird on acid.
Throwing Schuldig's raised eyebrow a through and through false but hopefully still reassuring smile -- he just knew he was showing too many teeth when the eyebrow went further up -- Ran stepped forward again and started to repeat the procedure.
Up, right, across, left, down, around, and one step back.
Oookay.
Step forward, left, right, down, across, tousle, one step back.
Yep. Definitely a Picasso.
Step forward, tousle, tousle, up, across, step back, step forward, tousle, tousle, tousle--
"Ran."
"Just a... sec."
tousle, up, across--
"Stop it, Ran."
"I'm... almost... done..."
tousle, tousle--
"I said stop it!"
"Okay!... Okay... Let's see... Good grief!"
Arms shot up and strong hands took his wrists in a firm hold, successfully preventing another frantic and, let's face it, thoroughly fruitless attempt to fix the mutilated hair.
"I appreciate your effort, Ran, but this is getting ridiculous."
"I don't get it... It should be so easy... There aren't any holes... Just shorter hair!"
"Calm down, Ran."
"But--"
"The kids are watching."
Oh... no...
Slowly, Ran turned around.
Omi stared at him open-mouthed.
Prodigy stared in amazement.
Ran closed his eyes in disbelief and embarrassment replaced the shock Schuldig had triggered with his hint about the watching boys. Gods, Omi had never seen him in such a frantic state before, used to the stoic, serious leader. And what Prodigy was thinking of him now after he had witnessed Abyssinian bordering on hysteria he didn't really want to know.
Ever so slowly, Ran turned around again. He opened his eyes to ask his lover with a pleading look to support him, to help him to diffuse the awkward situation with one of the German's witty respon-- Was that a grin on Schuldig's face?
"Ran, you have no idea how glad I am that I'm not the only one around here who's making a fool of himself. Love you for this."
Oh, was there concern in his lover's voice? Was there sympathy? Comfort? Undying, endless love and heart-warming devotion? No. That would be too much to ask for, wouldn't it? Ran gritted his teeth at the display of open amusement and relief. "Really? Are you?"
His low voice and narrowed eyes should have warned the young German but Schuldig ignored it completely and just nodded happily. "Yep."
Ran couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice; the anger about Schuldig's lack of pity for him was too much at the moment. "Your sympathy for me is astonishing, Schuldig, and I'm crushed by your care. And now, be so kind and remove the knife you've stabbed so cheerfully into my back."
One may not believe it but Schuldig actually had the nerve to look surprised. "What's wrong, Ran? Why are you so... Oh." Understanding dawned and lit his face, changed his expression from confusion to thoughtfulness. "I see. It has started."
"It has started," Ran echoed flatly, having a brief debate with himself if he really wanted to know what was going on in Schuldig's mind, or if he should just turn around and walk far, far away. Too late. Schuldig pursed his lips.
"Yes, it has started, and it's somewhat my fault that I haven't warned you about it."
"You don't say," Ran remarked dryly with a deadpan look and no idea what he was talking about.
Schuldig shook his head, suddenly all sympathetic. "I won't hold your sarcasm against you, Ran, because it's a natural reaction."
"A natural reaction."
"Yes, to the change."
"The change." This was getting better and better by any minute.
"Don't parrot everything I say, Ran. Look, I know it comes as a surprise and apparently a little too fast for you to get used to the fact that I'm once again Schwarz's Mastermind, but, if you really love me, there's no other way than to except me as I really am."
"A dork."
"Pardon?"
"For a telepath you're incredibly dense, Schuldig."
"What--"
"And definitely crazy."
"Well, yes! I'm not your Mister Nice Guy, Ran!"
"Give it up, Schu. I've learnt about your real character during our mission so just stop trying to behave like a bad guy. I do know by now that your badass image has been nothing but an act."
"An act?"
"You're sweet, kind, and loveable. If I'm not in dire need of your moral support, that is. But we will work on this one. We have time."
"You're so mistaken, Ran. What had happened before, what you believe you have seen in me was nothing but an illusion. Due to stress, I suppose. On your part, I want to add. Anyway, just live with it. Mastermind is back. End of the story."
"A little love and cuddling and you're mush in my hands, my poor misunderstood evil fiend."
"Don't go all pseudo psychological on me, Ran. Do yourself the favour and forget the cat ear incident. It had been a single mistake I won't repeat… And forget the shower incident. You just took me by surprise... Er… The same goes for the kitchen incident… and the panda... Just forget them already! I'm serious! You've no idea what I'm capable of if I'm really angry."
"You fry our brains, you turn us into vegetables, and you make us bark."
"Bark?"
"Yes, like a dog. Hypnosis like you did with the fisherman."
"Are you crazy, Abyssinian? Don't give Schu any dumb ideas!"
Ran turned around, surprised by the sudden outburst from Schwarz's youngest member. Prodigy was glaring at him, making clear by waving a flat hand in front of his forehead that it was as sure as fate that the leader of Weiss has bats in the belfry.
Frowning at the impolite gesture of Omi's boyfriend, Ran turned back to his own lover to regard him doubtfully. "You haven't tried it yet?"
"No."
"Not even once?"
"Am I speaking Swahili? No! Why the hell should I make people bark?"
"Well, for entertainment, of course."
In hindsight, Ran was incredibly glad that he hadn't rolled his eyes in addition to his reply, or that he hadn't made a suffering sigh to show how slow-witted Schuldig sometimes was to not see such obviousness.
However, with or without additional signs, the moment the last word left Ran's mouth he instantly knew that he had made a big mistake. His gut feeling was confirmed by stunned silence which was broken by a sharp intake of breath that screamed of indignation. Omi, he assumed, because the mumbled "Weiss, synonym for the good guys, my ass." was without a doubt coming from Prodigy. Schuldig just stared at him with a horrified look.
"Ran... I'm shocked."
"... Me too." Really, what else could he say? That they are completely misinterpreting his rather innocent and, perhaps, a little naive comment? That he, contrary to their belief, would never ever make someone bark like a dog if he had the gift of mind control? And, let's assume, if he really had such a gift and would make someone bark, for whatever reason, like revenge or just for fun, don't they go over the top with their display of horror at such a thought? There are hundreds of so-called magicians or hypnotists travelling the world to make people bark solely for the amusement of an astonished audience. They're earning their money with this, for crying out loud!
"...an?"
Great, the headache was back. Hammering, stabbing, and tearing. Ran cursed the devil that had ridden him to make such an idiotic statement and brought him in this stupid situation. He couldn't take the words back anymore, but he wasn't very keen on correcting them either. Too much energy would be needed for it. It had been his fault anyway. If he hadn't stepped in to prevent further arguments he wouldn't be standing there as a despicable, amoral man.
"...ran?"
It irked him that each one of them thought him capable of such a despiteful act. Prodigy he could understand, even Schuldig didn't know him that much yet. But at least Omi could have taken his side, could have defended him. Some friend he was! Oh, they are such upholder of moral standards; all three of them. He would bet anything he had that they were the first rolling in the aisles if they would witness such a stupid and thoroughly humiliating show. They would be the first to make suggestions which animal should be the ne--
"RAN!"
"WHAT?" Ran yelled back in irritation, unnerved about Schuldig's persistent, stubborn attempts to catch his attention.
"I'm calling you for the third time already!"
"So what! That's your excuse for bursting my eardrums?"
"Jesus, calm down. You had me worried, Ran. You spaced out there for a minute or so and didn't react at all."
"Who cares! I'm fed up with all of you! You would demand a stupid peacock if you had anything to say! And I'm not your goddamn negotiator! Who the hell needs peace anyway? The next time I'll just take a bath. Laughing! And considering your quarrelsome behaviour I'll look like a shrivelled, wrinkled plum in no time. Thank you very much. And you're not invited, Schuldig."
Okay, that was a little taken out of context, and according to Schuldig's puzzled look the message wasn't very clear so the whole thing had been quite useless. Damn that headache!
Schuldig eyed him cautiously. "Are you feeling well, Ran?"
"Do I look as if I'm feeling well to you?"
"... I suppose that's a trick question, isn't it?"
"Wow! The Incredible Mastermind strikes again! My lover is a genius!"
"Come down, Ran."
"Why should I? You actually believe I would make people bark just for entertainment!" Ran returned heatedly and threw a short, venomous look over his shoulder to send Omi a hissed "Traitor!" before he turned back again to stare his lover down with an accusing glare. Funnily enough it didn't work.
Schuldig was quite unimpressed by his glare; he looked at him calmly with slightly raised eyebrows. "You thought exactly the same thing of me, Ran."
... Crap. Schuldig's right. No. Wait a moment. Wasn't that twisting reality? What he had said had been nothing but a simple suggestion. They had jumped to conclusions, had turned his harmless words against him so that they could point their dirty little fingers at him.
"And I didn't explode and felt offended by it, unlike you," Schuldig continued in a matter-of-fact voice.
Ran stared blankly back. He did remember Schuldig's reaction to his suggestion quite clearly and there was no mistake that the German had been rather offended... Wait... Hadn't this been the reaction to the barking in connection with the fried brains? Blinking, and sure that his brain was going to explode at any minute thanks to the headache that was about to turn into a full-blown migraine, Ran tried to put the events in a correct order. But as much as he tried he couldn't remember correctly, too swamped by the many turns of them. He just knew he had a right to be angry.
Therefore, Ran furrowed his brown and concentrated again on his still patiently waiting lover. "That's not true, Schu, and you know it. You were offended and you did shout at me."
"Yes, but I didn't blow up like you did, so what's really your problem?"
"My problem is that unlike you, I had a very good reason to assume that you would abuse your talent just for your own amusement."
"Oh? And that reason would be?"
"The fisherman."
"I didn't make him bark, Ran. We just needed his car."
"You manipulated him to believe we're Bugs Bunny and the Lion King!"
"Yeah, that was fun. However, I didn't make him bark. Try again."
"Well... You're one of the bad guys, remember? I mean, you even manipulated Sakura into shooting me and you cannot deny that you hadn't had fun with it. I still remember your smirk. So it's assumed that you would manipulate people into something comparatively harmless like barking."
Hn, take that logic.
"That's strange. I thought the bad guy image was nothing but an act? You do remember your words, don't you? Loveable, kind, some cuddling and I'm a puddle of mush?"
Wonderful! Why does Schuldig have to be rational right now?
"That was... When I said those words I had forgotten about the Sakura incident."
"And now you remember."
"Yes."
"So I'm again the bad guy."
"Yes... No... I don't know!"
"We're back to square one, Ran."
"No!"
"I'm afraid so."
"Schu, I've... got a headache."
"Now you sound like a woman trying to wind herself out of her marriage duty."
"Does it work?"
"Not really."
"I do have a headache, Schu."
"I know."
"Can't we just forget the whole thing?"
"Hmm. Am I still banned from sharing a bath with you?"
"No, of course not. Any time you want."
"Then... Okay."
"Thank goodness!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Schuldig was tremendously happy.
Forgotten was his embarrassing performance about the cut hair and his idiotic theory that Ran had been furious because of his-- badly desired but apparently impossible-- comeback as Schwarz's Mastermind.
All of it gone thanks to Ran's unintentional help, who had come to his rescue by drawing the entire attention with one through and through innocent and harmless comment. Schuldig felt sorry for him, but he would rather bite off his tongue first than to admit that he actually had no qualms to make someone bark. Moreover, he had no idea why everyone was making such a fuss about it. They weren't choirboys. They killed people, for heaven's sake.
And though it was evil, loathsome, and completely shameless to take advantage of Ran's discomfort instead of sharing the misery with him, Schuldig was as merry as a lark about the distraction. And so he showed his brightest smile at his lover's shout of gratitude while his mind was filled with one endless mantra.
ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouOhThankYouSoooMuch!
"Now, that was interesting, to say the least."
Schuldig was instantly irritated about the dry comment, fearing that Ran would get all defensive again and he would have to pay for it in one way or another. Annoyed, he threw a sharp glance at Nagi in a warning to shut up and to mind his own business.
"Go play somewhere else, Nagi... What's wrong with your eye? Did you miss while brushing your teeth or something?"
"And did you get bald over the night?"
"How cute. Nagi turned into a toddler while I wasn't looking. Really, I've no idea what you're babbling about."
"Yeah?" the young boy drawled before he started to wail in a high-pitched voice. "Help! My hair! My beautiful hair!"
"Oh you little piece of..."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Ran was lying on a beach. It was wonderful. The sky was cloudless and as blue as the sea. The sun was shining down on him, warmed him with the rays, and a light breeze caressed his skin. The only noises were the soft sound of waves washing over the shore and the, more or less, faint cries of somewhat militant and rather aggressive sea-gulls.
"Brat!"
"Cry-baby!"
"Take that back!"
"Make me!"
"With pleasure!"
"Come on! What's wrong? I'm waiting!"
"Just don't run crying to Brad afterwards when I'm finished with you!"
"Ha! You wish!"
Ran's eyes snapped open and he started to yell on the top of his lungs. "SHUT UP!" And there was a lightening. In his head. And completely stunned, Ran reached up to his temples where the sharp pain had hit him.
"Oh gods... I think I burst a vein in my brain."
"Are you alright, Liebling?" Schuldig eyed him with concern in his eyes.
Incredulity was the only thing Ran felt at Schuldig's display of worry and he expressed it with an utterly disbelieving look. "You just had a shouting match over my shoulder millimetres away from my left ear after I've told you about my splitting headache. And now kindly explain to me why you even have the need to ASK if I'm alright."
"... Those headaches... You've them quite often, ne?"
"No, Schuldig, not often. I still have the same headache as before. It hasn't vanished yet. How could it? You don't give it a chance to disappear. And slowly but surely I have the suspicion that it's actually my brain that tries desperately to get out of my head. I can feel it beating against my skull, screaming at me for mercy, begging me to be let out to not be exposed to more of those unnecessary, pointless, childish, idiotic, and moronic arguments."
"That sounds like schizophrenia."
Ran didn't turn around. He clenched his teeth to such an extent that it hurt his jaw, and his glare, still fixated on Schuldig, turned murderous. Luckily for those present, the young German got the message.
"Shut up, Nagi," he hissed warningly and there was a short moment of silence in which some words were exchanged over the mind link before he returned Ran's glare with a pacifying gesture. "I'm sorry. I know those headaches can be a bitch, and I swear this was the last time you had to get angry with us. No more quarrels anymore."
"I need peace."
"I know."
"I need silence."
"You already have it, Ran."
"I don't believe it for even a second, Schuldig."
"I'll personally see to it that everyone will be at their best behaviour."
Could he really trust those words? There was silence, at the moment. Not even some smartass remark from Prodigy. And Schuldig was watching him silently, intently. He seemed to believe in what he had said, in the peace he had offered, and Ran felt his anger crumble at the sincere expression on his lover's face. Maybe there was still some hope, a chance for normality. No more arguments, no more shouting. It would be so wonderful.
"We won't disappoint you, love. We promise that from now on, everything's going to be quite and peaceful."
"Okay." Ran nodded, a little hesitantly but ready to believe those words, and he was rewarded by a peck on the tip of his nose. Smiling at the small gesture and confident that everything was fine and back to normal, he addressed the still waiting boys. "Did you want something from us?"
Omi regarded him with a strange look Ran could only interpret as a remainder of his previous comment about the barking. After a short moment of silence in which Ran prayed that Omi would show some mercy and wouldn't bring it up again, the boy answered him with a shake of his head.
"We heard a girl screaming and went out to investigate."
"A girl? You must be mistaken. There was only Schu who..." Ran eyes widened in realization and he ended his sentence with a soft "Oh my."
Why oh why wasn't he surprised that the so-called peace had only existed for a few seconds? Defeated and preparing himself for another shouting match, Ran closed his eyes and waited for the outburst of his lover.
It didn't come.
After a few seconds of almost unnatural silence, he opened his eyes again and turned surprised around.
Schuldig stood rigid with his hands clenched into tight fists.
His mouth was a thin line.
His face was glaring red.
And not a sound was coming from him.
Ran was speechless. Schuldig, mortally offended in his masculinity, was restraining himself. And he was aware that the young German did it solely for his sake and for the peace he had promised him.
It was unbelievable but it was true.
Schuldig had kept his word.
Schuldig had been serious after all!
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Oh gods, if I'm strangling that insolent little Weiss brat now they will definitely know that I was the one who had screamed and Nagi will never stop teasing me about it and gods, Ran actually thinks that I'm holding back just for his sake and how dare that brat calling me girlish that fucking little nnnnnnnng restrain yourself Schuldig just restrain yourself Schuldig oh Jesus Fucking Christ just restrain yourself.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Ran was very, very happy and even a little proud about Schuldig's self-control in order to maintain the promised peace. His eyes softened at the young German's proof of love, and suddenly all arguments were forgotten. His headache vanished. His heart made a joyful jump, and the butterflies were back for a feathery dance in his stomach.
"Konbanwa! I'm back, minna-san!"
The cheerful voice of his sister was a wonderful addition to the fluffy feeling in his stomach, and Ran turned with a smile to greet her back. Therefore, he totally missed as Schuldig's face changed its colour from glaring red to pale in record time and his eyes got wider and wider with each step the young girl took towards them.
Aya was a lovely sight as she came bouncing down the floor. Her eyes were shining in joy. She was beaming all over her face with an angelic smile on her lips, and in her hands she was carefully holding a parcel wrapped in pink paper and decorated with a large lilac bow.
"Niisan! I've got you a--"
"Fuck me a horse!"
Ran's smile froze and his mind went blank. Had Schuldig just cursed in the present of his sister and, as if this wasn't bad enough, had this curse actually included a sex practice called bestiality? Ran was deadly calm when he slowly turned around to question him about it.
"Come again?"
Schuldig stared wide-eyed back and... Was that panic in his eyes?
"Ran... I... love you."
Really, is there anything more suspicious than a love declaration in such a situation? Certainly not, therefore Ran's response to the half-hearted stammering was a sharp snort.
"I'm not so sure about myself at the moment, Schuldig. My affection for you just dropped a few degrees. Maybe you could refresh my mind by explaining why you said what you said in the present of my untouched sister."
"Anou, oniisan, I'm not really--"
"No, Aya-chan," Ran interrupted her firmly without letting Schuldig out of his eyes. "I know you're polite enough to ignore such rude language. However, I will not tolerate it, and I do believe that Schuldig will explain his behaviour to us. Now."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Aya stared at the back of her brother's head in utter amazement.
Ran thought that she was still a virgin.
And that from someone who was a gay drag queen, earning his money as an exotic dancer.
And Ran thought that she was still a virgin?
While he and his foreign looking boyfriend were dancing erotically in front of hundred salivating men, half naked and only covered in sexy animal costumes?
Anyway, Ran thought that she was still a virgin and suddenly, the present in her hands weighed a ton.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Schuldig had four choices to direct Ran's anger away from him.
He could let the cat out of the bag by telling Ran that his poor, innocent, pure and untouched little baby-sister was far from being still a virgin.
It would shock Ran in such a way that it would instantly draw his attention to his sister and away from Schuldig. But this would be a mean thing to do to sweet Aya-chan, and Schuldig just wasn't that evil.
Secondly, he could direct Ran's attention to the young Japanese himself by asking him why the hell he had stayed a virgin until twenty-two when his sister had lost her own at the tender age of fifteen.
But that would lead to problem number one, being mean to sweet Aya-chan, and to another problem called Never-Embarrass-Ran-In-Public, and Schuldig wasn't that stupid and therefore kept the question to himself for later use.
Thirdly, he had the choice to ignore his conscience by telling Ran what had triggered his interjection in the first place; Aya-chan's gift.
Well, that would be a rather stupid thing to do because Ran would learn about his sister's assumption that he was a drag-queen-dancer and, after he has recovered from his deep shock, he would not only direct his whole attention back to Schuldig again to demand an explanation why his sister had such ridiculous thoughts, he would also do it with his katana in his right hand. And Schuldig just wasn't that suicidal.
So there was only one thing left to distract Ran successfully.
Sex.
"We're still waiting for your explanation, Schuldig."
Okay, Ran was getting impatient. It was time to play the trump card. All he had to do now was to deliver the idea of hot, wild sex in such a way that Ran understood but Aya-chan not. However, Aya-chan wasn't stupid, so he had to speak carefully. Subtle but direct. Like a code. It wasn't an easy task. It would be quite tricky to--
"Schuldig!"
"Jesus. Someone should teach you the virtue of patience, Ran." Schuldig's irritated snap was answered by an icy glare. Barely suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Schuldig heaved a sigh.
"Okay, Liebling. I... feel my love seed... heats..." Oh. My. God. I didn't just say that!
Apparently he had because Ran obviously was just as stupefied as he was about this incredibly stupid statement. The young Weiss leader blinked back at him in incredulity. "I know I sound like a parrot and for that I hate you. Come again?"
"I meant let's get bodily."
"What?"
"Let's make love, Ran."
"PARDON?"
"Are you deaf? I said let's have sex!"
In the stunned silence that followed Schuldig had enough time to realize that in the end he hadn't been very discreet about the subject despite his good intention. But on the other hand, Ran looked really funny as a fish that was desperately gasping for breath.
"What... You... Why... How... Are you CRAZY? What foolishness makes you believe you can talk about sex in the present of my little sister!"
"Hey! It isn't my fault that you didn't understand me the first time and that I had to spell it out for you!"
"I can't believe it! What the hell is wrong with you? Have you forgotten that you're a telepath? Why haven't you just used the mind link?"
"..."
"..."
/Okay. I will admit that I was a little beside me for a short moment. But you, Ran, just blurted out that I'm a mind reader./
"…"
/And that in the present of your little sister./
"…"
"Oniisan, what did you mean by telepath?"
"…"
"I think Abyssinian's in shock."
"…"
"Daijoubu ka, Aya-ku--... I mean, Ran-kun?"
"…"
"Liebling?"
"…"
"Niisan?"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Oh Kami-sama. What have I done? How am I going to explain this to my sister? Aya-chan, meet Schuldig. He's a telepath. Yes, you heard right. He can read minds. And he can control them. I've a scar to proof it. Oh, did I forget that he's also an assassin? Silly me. Yes, he's a mind reading, mind controlling assassin with unbelievable speed. But the speed could also be an illusion, mind you. And he's one of the bad guys. Anyway, he's my boyfriend. Yes, I'm gay. And no, selling flowers is not enough to pay for your schoo--
"Ran!"
Startled, Ran blinked a few times until the worried face of Schuldig came into view. The German was snapping his fingers repeatedly in front of his eyes to get his attention and slowly, Ran reached up to take hold of the hand to stop the annoying noise. For a moment, they looked each other deep into the eyes before Ran took a deep breath and broke the silence with an almost desperate voice.
"Let's fuck."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
It must have been at least five minutes already and Farfarello was still staring in the direction the scream had come from. Slowly coming out of his trance-like state, he tilted his head to the side and voiced his bafflement with a puzzled look.
"Who the hell was that?"
"Well, I do hope it was a girl, because if it has been Nagi or, God forbid, Schuldig, I would register them to the Vienna Boys Choir without a second thought."
"Yeah." Farfarello smirked at Crawford's dry remark. "Maybe Abyssinian had had enough and castrated Schu."
The amused snort which followed his statement brought him out of his musings and Farfarello turned to the source of it with slightly raised eyebrows.
"And what, prey tell, are you laughing about, he? I'm not finished with you, Brad."
"I knew I should have run when I had the chance for it."
The muttered curse of the older man confirmed that it was only a question of time before he would crumble, and with the knowledge that victory was near Farfarello narrowed his eye in anticipation and a wolfish grin rose on his lips.
"Too late, old man. Much too late."
And with an unbelievably crazy voice every madman tending towards sadism would be proud of he added
"Run, little rabbit... Run!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
tbc
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
blöder Hammel (germ.) stupid mutton
konbanwa (jap.) good evening
daijoubu ka (jap.) Are you feeling well?
Liebling (germ.) darling
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Black Kitten: Er... And now, everyone has the mental picture of Farfie chasing Brad through the house. Well, let's wait for the next chapter, kay?... kitsune-oni. Welcome to ffnet! Yes, Schu's a poor little thing but he will get a reward for all the misery I've put him through.
Schu: Do I have to get worried?
Black Kitten: Nah. You'll like it!
Ran: Do I have to get worried?
Black Kitten: ... Nah. #sweat drop#... Kitsune-oni, Schu hasn't gained back his respect yet, and maybe he never will, but I'm confident that he will seduce Ran in the end. Well, I hope you enjoyed the new chapter and will be there for the next one!... Kyra2. #cringes# I know there wasn't much about the let's-talk-situation between Farfie and Brad but I swear I tried to motivate those two to continue with it but they were so shocked about Schuldig's scream that they just stood there stock-still for five minutes.
Schu: And you really believe that Kyra will accept such a cheep excu--
Black Kitten: Gunning Angel! Oh no... I forgot to write a lemon scene!
Schu: Oh Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you
Black Kitten: That's so pitiful, you... uke-coward. Anyway, Gunning Angel, I swear the next chapter's going to be full of le--... citrus fru--... Ah, don't want to spoil the fun with a spoiler. Well, let's say you won't have a vitamin deficiency after reading the next part. #nudge nudge wink wink hint hint#
Schu: Oh Gods. That's sooo obvious... Hey! What do you mean by uke-coward? I protest! I demand to be the seme in the next--
Black Kitten: Oi! Look! There's Bloodrose 'Valantine' Foxxstar! Oh, I know how time-consuming work can be. After all, it's one of my main excuses to use for my late updates. I see... your muse's still dead. Wow. Must be dried up by now, that poor guy... What? You're starting to love the Ran-seme idea? That's quite a surpri--
Schu: GAH!
Black Kitten: #blinks# Um, I think Schu just wanted to express how upset he is about your change of mind. I mean I do hope that's what he wanted to express because if not I'm a little bit worried about him right now.
Ran: #smirks# So sorry for him. #looks angelic# Luv you too, Foxxstar.
Black Kitten: Err... right. Jesus, angelic Ran is just too creepy... Luna Kaira. Yup, I and my spoilers. I promise lemons and then when I'm posting the new chapter I sit and think Haven't I forgotten something?... I promise there will be lemons in the next update!
Schu: Yeah? Is it the same kind of promise you made to me that I would be the ultimate seme in that stupid, humiliating story of yours just to lure me into the trap?
Black Kitten: Err... Can't remember. Luna, I would never use something that's called QuickEdit. I mean that name alone is a clear sign for me to keep my hands off it. Not that the other way to upload on ffnet is any better.
Schu: Hey! You can't just interru--
Black Kitten: LoneCayt! #hugs# Thank you so much. Though, I wouldn't call people snobby just because they don't try to write something in a foreign language. Believe me, it takes a lot of megalomania (I've learnt a new word!) to start such a project. And a lot of insanity to keep it running. Nah, it's not so bad. #winks# Well, I did parts of this chapter in a rush to finish it before I start my vacation so I hope you won't be too disappointed by my #cough# advanced #cough# English. Err, let's say I did my best.
Schu: #suspicious# I hope your coughing isn't contagious.
Black Kitten: #glares#... Anyway, LoneCayt, I'm sorry but I just can't set Yohji up with Brad, because... because our beloved, adorable, kind-hearted and super cute naive Kenken would go BERSERK. That's why.
Ken: #comes running all flustered with big innocent chibi-eyes# I heard Yohji's name. Is something wrong with him? Is he alright? Did something happen to him? Is he hurt? Did he cheat on me? Do I have to get angry?
Black Kitten: It's nothing, my dear. Everything's fine.
Ken: Okay! #bounces cheerfully away #
Black Kitten: #wipes sweat from forehead# Phew. That was a near thing... Elster. Hi! Danke für deinen tollen Kommentar! Leider kann ich nicht viel dazu antworten ohne das eine oder andere dabei zu verraten, aber ich kann dir versichern, dass da kein Chibi-Sex sein wird. Vielleicht ein kleines unschuldiges Küsschen aber nicht mehr. Oh ja, harte Burschen, unsere Männer. Und beim Kuscheln sind sie dann solche Softies. #augenverdreh# Und das mit dem wehleidig sein ist so was von wahr. Ich frage mich immer wieder wie es dazu kam, dass das Patriarchat so lange andauern konnte. Was soll's, ist eh Schnee von gestern. Ich hoffe dir hat Ran's Versuch sich als Frisör zu betätigen gefallen. Schu war jedenfalls nicht sehr begeistert davon.
Schu: #dreht sich beleidigt weg#
Black Kitten: Und ein neuerlicher Beweis wie männlich unsere Männer wirklich sind... Amber Bock. Ah, sorry about the long wait. Concerning Farf and Brad, I know I neglected them in this chapter but I swear in the next one, they will finally... bite each other's head off. #g# Nah, it's just that they're both so dominant and stubborn. It's not easy for me to show them how good they would look, walking hand in hand through a park with the clouds coloured pinkly by a beautiful sunset.
Brad & Farf: #censored because of various unspeakable death threats#
Black Kitten: #gulp# Well, I promise a lemon in the next update so just wait and see for yourself who's the lucky one of our many pairings... Mujyakina-Hitokoroshiya. #grin# I hope you liked the Schu-torture in this chapter too. Though, he wasn't the only one who had to suffer. However, he did scream and according to the others it wasn't a manly one. And another crack in his masculinity. Poor bishie. Have to write something nice for him for the next update to cheer him up.
Schu: #hopeful# Me Seme?
Black Kitten: Um... You... Let's wait and see... amythestmage. Great you found Schu's misery about the cat ear situation as funny as Yohji did. #g# Seriously, who wouldn't? Even Ran had troubles holding back the laughter. Anyway, thanks to my crappy English I couldn't really describe how I saw Schu in this situation, stunned face and all, so I'm very happy that some readers told me how much they liked it.
Schu: #stunned face and all# Readers love my misery?
Black Kitten: Oops, I forgot that Schu was unaware of this... Amythestmage, I don't have much time to write but I promise that I will end this story properly.
Schu: #still stunned# They... LOVE... my... MISERY?
Black Kitten: Err... Someone's in shock here... Spawn of Hell. Yes, maybe you're right and it's just simpering... Gods, I hope NOT. I write this story for people to laugh about it; together with me. You should see me when I'm writing on it. Smiling, grinning, smirking, and every now and then there's even an evil grin plastered on my face. Scary, isn't it? I have to say that I'm a little proud of myself that I can hold your attention even if you're not into comedy... Yes, I'm definitely proud about it. Concerning Farf and Brad, sorry that there wasn't much about them but I do hope that I can satisfy your curiosity in the next chapter. I just had to torture Schu and Ran a little bit more before I can turn my attention to them.
Farf & Brad: ANGST!
Black Kitten: Well, that's understandable. #evil grin#... Andartha. Thanks for your book recommendation of "Small Gods"! I've already ordered it to read on my vacation. Ack, you're another reader I have to apologize to. I'm sorry that you waited so long only to discover that the Farfie/Brad situation is the same as four months ago. But I SWEAR--
Schu: Not again. Broken promises. Empty promises. All the same.
Black Kitten: Um... This time I'm serious. Let's make a deal, Andartha. If the next update doesn't feature Farf and Brad, I will... I will... Schu will...
Schu: Hey! Don't you dare involve me!
Black Kitten: Err... Well... If not, then I promise that... Farfie and Brad will share the cell with you, Andartha!
Farfie & Brad: Wha... Wha... Wha... #shell-shocked#
Black Kitten: Well, it is nearly impossible to please everybody. #cough#... KT. #huge smile# Oh yes, poor, poor Schu. And this time, he even made the mistake to scream. Doesn't help his badass reputation either, ne? About Brad and Farf, sorry, but you have to wait for the next chapter because I have nooo idea what I should do with them.
Brad & Farfie: LIAR!
Black Kitten: #smirks# Surprisingly, they're actually right, KT. I have the whole scene with Farfie and Brad in my mind and I know exactly what to do with them. Or they with each other. #grin#
Brad & Farfie: #clouds of dust#
Black Kitten: What a pitiful and useless attempt to escape faith... Akayen. Thanks. I hope you liked this update too. I put my whole energy in it. I swear. #nods gravely#
Schu: #rolls eyes# Get serious.
Black Kitten: Sorry, not in my nature... Comtess. Great you liked the previous chapters. And I can understand why you love Farfie and Brad. They're indeed two interesting characters. They're bright, funny, witty, and playful like two cute little kittens and sooo cuddly!
Schu: I said GET SERIOUS.
Black Kitten: #shrugs# Okay... Sacral. Es tut mir wahnsinnig leid aber es ging einfach nicht schneller. Ich hoffe dieses Kapitel war ein kleines Trostpflaster für dich und du hattest Spaß damit. Schließlich habe ich mich wieder mehr auf Ran und Schuldig konzentriert. Wie auch immer, so sehr ich Schu als Uke liebe, es gibt einfach zu viele LeserInnen die eine ‚traditionelle' Rollenverteilung möchten. Und es ist wirklich an der Zeit, dass Ran endlich erfährt wie es ‚unten' ist.
Ran: #entsetzt# Wa... Wa.. Wa...
Black Kitten: Ich bitte dich. Du nicht so als ob du Deutsch verstehst.
Ran: #auf japanisch# Dein Gesichtsaudruck reicht um zu wissen das Schreckliches auf mich wartet!
Black Kitten: Hmmm... Sorry, ich verstehe kein Japanisch. #grins#... Arcanas. I'm sorry that you had to wait so long for the update. I hope it was worth and you found one or two parts of this chapter funny enough to laugh about it. Especially Ran did his best to amuse the readers with his attempt to fix the damage of Schuldig's hair.
Ran: I didn't try to be funny! You made me do it!
Black Kitten: Oh please, you were the one who cut the holes and danced around Schu like some hysterical Ballerina. No way could I have forced you to do it because at this time I sat cheerfully in front of my computer and wrote at... something. #cough#
Ran: #speechless#
Black Kitten: Exactly!... Torikae. Oh my. I was so amused about your review that I showed it to my boyfriend. He didn't laugh. Really, men have no humour. However, I found it very funny so thank you for it! And I hope you don't think about divorce after reading the new chapter. #winks#... Skeren Dreamera. Poor you, this sounds as if you're in a lot of stress. Writing should be fun without any pressure and if you're not in the mood so be it. Regarding Farfie, who wouldn't be scared of him? He's a wild thing, prowling around in search for the next victim. And don't forget his nasty knives.
Farfie: Don't exaggerate. My knives aren't nasty.
Black Kitten: Why am I not surprised that he doesn't deny the other things? Well, Skeren, I hope you had fun with the upload and I promise the situation between Farfie and Brad will be solved in the next chapter.
So, minna-san, I hope you all enjoyed the new chapter. Have a nice summertime! Until next time!