Hi. There's a change I had to make. I enjoyed it immensely and it was fun to respond to the reviews. Unfortunately, FFnet doesn't agree with it, and before the story gets deleted I decided to take the lesser evil and stop with the responses. Sorry. Well, let's say it's an opportunity for me to see how many reviews I get without giving replies to them.
Oh, and One day a tortoise will learn how to fly. (I loved it, I really did. Even in German.)
Have fun with the new chapter, minna-san!
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Disclaimer: To whom it may concern Weiß Kreuz doesn't belong to me. It's the property of Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiss (if my sources are correct). And I don't make money out of writing this story.
Warnings: NO BETA. Terrible grammar and spelling mistakes because German's still my first language and this won't change as long as I live.
"blah blah" … thoughts… /telepathy/
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Black Kitten's Dream
This is SO not happening!
Part 17
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Schuldig knew he had an incredibly stupid expression on his face, but he couldn't help it. He was too stunned at the moment to care about his appearance, and the fact that he was being dragged away by Ran by holding hands like two playmates on their merry way to the playground didn't make the situation of his dazed state any better.
Let's fuck.
Oh, please, wait a moment. Let's fuck? Had Ran really said those famous three words? In front of Nagi and the Weiss brat? In the presence of his little sister? His Ran, who would blush furiously at the mere thought of sex? Who would give him a sermon about the immorality and filth of soft porn magazines instead of just crawling under the sheets to snigger together over the censored pictures?
"Okay. I think we're safe for now."
Blinking, Schuldig snapped out of his thoughts at his lover's words and focused on his surroundings. There was a bed... a bare wall and... a window. Jesus, the room was tiny.
"That's your room?" Schuldig asked disbelievingly. "I knew Kritiker's cheap but that's just... crazy. I mean, even the Spartans have lived in more luxury than you do, Ran, and they weren't naive men hired by a shady organization to be turned into brave little assassins to fight evil blah blah blah."
"Schu--"
"Okay, I take back the naive because you're my lover. No, really, I thought your effort to save the world from all that evilness out there would be worth a room of at least ten square meters."
"That's the guest room, Schu."
"... Oh." Okay, if he finds out that Ran actually has a bigger room than him, he would strangle Crawford in an instant. "Well, that's a... nice guest room. If one isn't claustrophobic, that is. Anyway, why are we here and not in your own room?"
"To hide from the others."
"To hide from... You want to fuck here?"
"Hush!"
"In this broom closet?"
"Be silent! The others will hear you!"
"The door's closed, Ran!"
"There's still a chance that they could hear you!"
"I give a flying fuck about the others! I refuse to fuck in here!"
"Schu!"
"Oh, for heaven's sake! Just take him to your room and fuck him already, Aby, Aya, Ran, or whatever your name is currently!"
Both men froze up at the sudden muffled voice that had filled the room. While Ran's eyes widened in shock, Schuldig's own darted to the door. It was still closed, so where did that voice come from? Puzzled, he directed his look back to his lover to question him about it with raised eyebrows when he got his answer through a second, equally muffled and utterly scandalized voice that started an interesting dialogue.
"Yohji!"
"What? Sooner or later they would have found out that the wall is so thin that you can hear every spoken word through it. The guest room was part of my room after all, so the wall is nothing but a makeshift one. And I'm not eager to listen to them moaning and whimpering while they're... Oh... OH!"
Fascinated, Schuldig watched how Ran's shocked expression slowly turned into pure horror with every new word coming through the apparently very thin wall, and he was about to take pity on his mortified lover with a few nasty words in their direction when Balinese's voice broke the silence again.
"Er... Don't mind me, Ran. Just continue where you've stopped."
"Yohji!"
"Shush! Maybe the wall isn't as thin as we thought and they didn't hear us."
"YOHJI!"
"Come on, Ken. Think about it. Icicle Ran getting screwed by Big Bad Mastermind. That's just... It's a golden opportunity, a chance we won't get twice. It's like a free porn show, just without the sight. It's naughty. It's dirty. It's... Doesn't that make you hot at least a little bit?"
"But, Yohji..."
"Oh, look, I'm horny now."
"... Yohji?"
"Rawr."
"Oh... Yohji!"
During the conversation, Schuldig had slowly turned his head until he stared at the wall which separated them from Balinese and Siberian, and with both eyebrows drawn high he voiced his disbelief.
"Are they for real?"
It wasn't the lack of verbal response from Ran that made him tear his eyes from the plain wall; it was the firm hand which took his own to pull him out of the room. Forcefully.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
It was the second time in less than a few minutes that Omi was forced to witness one of Ran's odd behaviours. But contrary to the occurrence minutes ago, this time, it was a furious and visibly embarrassed Ran who came stomping out of a room first, dragging a protesting Schwarz member with him.
"But... Ran... Wait... I changed my mind... You were right... Let's fuck in that broom closet... I mean guest room... Come on... It's something new... And we could beat them... We could make a competition out of it about who's making the loudest--"
Slam, bang, and closed was the door to Ran's room.
Omi - who had followed their way from one room to the other with his eyes as a silent observer - didn't need to look back at his lover or at Ran's sister who was still standing with them in the hallway, holding her parcel in a vice-like grip. And why should he? He absolutely knew that Nagi was rolling his eyes and that Aya-chan had a stunned look on her face.
He pitied the girl for the chaos she has stumbled in, and he had no doubt that she must be very confused about her brother's behaviour or the world he apparently was living in. One could only pray that she never finds out about his real profession as an assassin. Surely that would give her the rest, especially after Ran's thoughtless revelation about Mastermind's gift. Not that she actually believed one word of what her brother had said about telepathy. God bless her and her naivety.
Sighing, Omi decided to help her out of this awkward situation by giving her the only piece of advice he could think of, and he did it with earnest sympathy and with a soft, almost sad shake of his head in her direction.
"Don't ask."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Ran was seething...
"A competition?"
... and Schuldig looked sheepishly back.
"Ran--"
"A COMPETITION?"
"Liebling--"
"And what did you mean by 'it's something new'? Am I that boring that you already need dirty fantasies to stimulate yourself?"
"Of course not! Jesus, Ran, I'm sorry. I didn't think. It was a stupid idea."
"You don't say!"
"Calm down. Please. And stop throwing that evil glare at me. I swear the only stimulation I need to get horny is you."
Ran narrowed his eyes further and snarled quite nastily. "I don't believe you anymore, Schuldig. Not after what you've said. You didn't want to fuck in the guest room until those idiots started to make fools of themselves."
"You never believe me and slowly but surely I'm taking it personally." Arms were crossed and Schuldig stared angrily back. "I'm sorry if I have soiled your pure romantic vision about sex, but sometimes it's just... sex! Fast, hard, sweaty, and dirty. It's something that comes by instinct. Something you don't think about until you have found your release. And even then it can take minutes while you're bathing in the afterglow, gasping for much needed breath, before you even start to consider if you should waste a single thought about why you are standing in a dirty side street behind a shabby third-class pub with your cock buried to the hilt in an unfamiliar ass."
They stared at each other silently. Schuldig, still angry, dared him with a glare to disagree with his speech, and Ran looked owlishly back at him.
"I'm... at a loss for words," he admitted slowly. "That was... I mean... Did you use a condom?"
"Did I...?" Now it was Schuldig's turn to blink slowly back before he cleared his throat somewhat defensively. "Er, actually, the part with the alley was taken out of a book."
"Oh."
"Yes... Well... But I can tell you that I wouldn't have second thoughts about it if I were in such a situation. Not with a stranger," he added hastily. "But with you, any time and any place you want is fine by me."
"That's kinda... nice." Ran furrowed his brows in confusion about why he actually thought that having sex with Schuldig in an open place like a dirty side street should be considered as nice. It didn't take long for him to decide that he really didn't need another mystery to ponder about and he shook his head with a deep, tired sigh.
"Let's forget the whole thing, Schu. To argue about it is just stupid. We didn't really want to make love in the guest room in the first place, after all."
"WHAT?"
"I said--"
"I goddamn know what you said!"
Surprised by the unexpected harsh outburst, Ran regarded Schuldig with a frown. "I just wanted to avoid my sister for a few minutes to gather my thoughts. Where's the problem?"
"You cannot lure me with promise of sex and don't mean it!"
"I can't?"
"No!"
"Why?"
"Why?" Schuldig echoed in incredulity, and stepped up until he was near enough that Ran could feel warm breath on his face, and the pointy forefinger against his chest to emphasize each following words with a jab. "It's. Fucking. Cruel!"
"You're crazy," Ran snorted in amusement at the drama Schuldig was making. "And you're exaggerating, as always."
"You think?" the young German snapped back heatedly. "You're gorgeous. You're sexy. You're my goddamn chosen lover. Do you think I have taken you as my lover because of your talent for knitting?"
"I don't--"
"I know you don't knit!"
"Okay, so you want to tell me that you've chosen me as your lover because of my sexy body."
"Exactly!"
"Not because of my charming and witty self."
"Er..."
"And to be chosen as your lover is a privilege."
"Um..."
"And that I didn't have any saying in it."
"I..."
"Wow. I hope you won't hit me over the head with a club and drag me by my hair in a cave the next time you have the urge to satisfy your need for sex."
"..."
"And now I wonder. Should I take this as a compliment? Hmm."
"Ran--"
"Hmmmm."
"Stop it. I'm not so low that I would reduce you to your body. "
"Really? So the idea of dragging me off to ravish me silly in the most primal way doesn't make you horny?"
"... Gods, but you can play dirty."
The smile which had tugged at Ran's lips during their conversation while he was trying to keep a straight face finally gave way to the grin that had threatened to break through the entire time.
"You are crazy, Schuldig, and maybe that's my reason why I fell in love with you."
"That can't be. It must have been my looks."
"Get real."
"You're just in denial, Ran."
"And you're the most confident man I've ever met."
"You think I'm ugly?"
"Ah, no, said the Beauty to the Beast."
"I hope I'm not supposed to sing my answer."
"Heaven forbid, no!"
They grinned at each other about their own silliness and Schuldig reached out to pull him into his arms. "Well, you're quite crazy yourself, Ran."
"Aa."
"We're the perfect couple."
"Aa."
"I cannot believe how often we fight."
"And I cannot believe that you're really horny."
"Are you kidding? After what you've said about caves and clubs and ravishing you silly?" Schuldig wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and pressed their bodies more tightly together. The object of Ran's amazement rested as a silent but hard proof between them as Schuldig continued in a soft and somewhat husky voice. "How could I withstand such a temptation, hm?"
"Oh, kinky."
"Damn right."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"Let me get this straight."
Sarcasm was dripping down scarred lips as the mockingly spoken words left them, and the golden eye regarded him with a narrowed look that pinned him down on his seat mercilessly.
Crawford knew he had to keep his countenance in order to retrain control over the situation. So far, he had managed not to react to Farfarello's taunts, though, the comparison to a frightened little rabbit was almost more than he could bear.
Therefore, while his inside alternately quivered and knotted in uneasiness about the unforeseen confrontation - curse his stupid useless gift - and at the same time the irritation about the Irishman's impertinence burnt a hole in his stomach, Crawford showed a bored, unperturbed facade on the outside. The greatest mistake he could do was to show weakness, uncertainty in front of Berserker. He knew, one tiny slip-up and it would be over.
So he had to look out for any possibilities Farfarello's brain could come up.
He had to think one step ahead.
He had to play it cool.
He had to--
"So, you love me, eh?"
Twitch.
Merde.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Lips met eagerly while tongues danced to the unique music of passion. Heat, wetness, taste, and smell, the feeling of foreign skin and muscles were the only sensations for a few precious minutes that were heaven before Ran broke the passionate kiss.
"I want to make love to you again," he whispered breathlessly, eyes shining in arousal, and was instantly rewarded by an enthusiastic reply.
"Great! Don't forget the lube, Liebling."
... NANI? Wide-eyed, Ran watched more than a little flabbergasted as Schuldig cheerfully hopped to the bed - shedding his clothes in the process - and made himself comfortable on his back, naked as the day he was born and expectantly looking up at him.
"Come on, tiger. Ravish me."
Blink. "Come again?"
"I said... Ah, of course, stupid me. Hop over and ravish me, you horny bunny."
"... Are you feeling well?" Ran asked hesitantly. Schuldig answered him with such a puzzled look that he spoke again to clarify his question. "Don't put it the wrong way, Schu. I'm not complaining, but you act as if you want to be uke again."
"Well, yeah, that's because I want to be."
"What?" Ran shook his head disbelievingly at the nonchalant reply and frowned slightly at the meaning of the statement. "What the hell happened to 'I want to ravish you into the next century'?"
"Oh."
"Oh? What kind of an answer is that?"
"Could it be that you're a little on the edge, Liebling?"
"No!"
"You sure?"
Ignoring the Schwarz member's stupid question and gritting his teeth in frustration, Ran continued with barely suppressed irritation. "Enlighten me, Schuldig, because I don't get it. You were on a super-seme trip until a few minutes ago and now you're willing to spread your legs for me?"
"That's not very romantic, Ran."
"Screw romantic! Every time we made love I had to wrestle you into submission!"
"Oh, come on, we never wrestled."
"No, but I had to trick you! Twice! You didn't want to be uke! Never! And I want to know what made you change your mind all of a sudden!"
"I admit I didn't want to be the bottom the first few times, but now I'm very comfortable with it. That's all! It's totally nice, really. I thought you would be happy about it."
"No! I'm not happy because I don't believe it! That's not you! You wouldn't give up your seme preference so easily! You tried every dirty trick to get into my pants!"
"Hey!"
"But now it's as if you've forgotten that I'm still a virgin!"
"Of course I haven't forgotten. What on earth is eating you?"
"I'm a fucking virgin, Schuldig, and you don't want to pop my cherry anymore!"
"I know you're still a virgin and with me the whole house thanks to your shouting! But I don't want to be seme anymore! Basta! And now ravish me already, goddamnit!"
Faces were flushed in anger as their shouting ended abruptly with Schuldig's last sentence. Ignoring the hesitant voice coming through the closed door - sounding like Aya and warily asking whether everything was all right in there - Ran folded his arms and stared with narrowed eyes down at Schuldig.
"No," he said, determinedly denying the German's last demand.
Because this couldn't be true.
It must be a trap.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Gods, this was crazy. They knew each other for only a few hours, regarding the more personal level of interaction they had now than they had with only trying to kill each other, but despite this short length of time Ran had managed to drive him up the wall quite often.
Propped up on his forearms, Schuldig displayed his opinion about the absurdity of the situation with a wry smile. "We're not seriously fighting over me being uke, Ran."
The Weiss leader stiffened even further at the dry humour in his voice, firmly set in his suspicions, and Schuldig chuckled quietly at the stubborn behaviour of his lover. "Okay. You wanna know why I'm willing to get fucked thrice in only twenty-four hours even though I'm already so sore that I would think a hundred times before I sit down on something as hard as a plush-covered ultra-soft pillow? It's the lube."
"The lube." Disbelief was evident in Ran's posture, and he was clearly not satisfied with the explanation as he continued flatly. "Don't tell me you can't get enough because you're addicted to the strawberry flavour."
"You're impossible," Schuldig grimaced. "And I really don't want to know what drives you to make such comments. I still have my taste buds on my tongue, thank you. Or was that a subtle hint for a certain sex practice you would like to try out but are too shy to ask for, hm?"
"What...! I... ! You... ! NEVER!" was the stammered response that widened Schuldig's smile into a teasing grin.
"Don't say 'never' before you haven't tried it out, Liebling."
My, was there anything cuter than Ran blushing like the uke virgin he was?
"That's... not the subject of our discussion, Schuldig."
Or was there anything cuter than a flustered Ran desperately trying to hold up his dignity?
No, Schuldig decided, there wasn't, and so he continued the conversation gleefully with a mock-hurt look and a small, pouting voice.
"No?"
"No."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
"Schu!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Stare.
Stare.
Stare.
Christ, this was ridiculous, and he had had enough of this idiotic contest as if this was a game of 'who's blinking first loses'.
Farfarello could turn a somersault; he wouldn't get a reaction out of him.
Farfarello could start wearing pink suspenders. He just wouldn't get a reaction out of him!
Farfarello could play the Blue Danube waltz with a big drum tied on his back and the sticks connected through strings to his arms and legs that are decorated with bells while holding cymbals in his hands and having a horn between his lips.
He. Just. Wouldn't. Get. Any. Reaction. Out. Of. Him.
Not in a life-time.
Not in a million years.
Not in--HMMMPF!
Crawford's brain froze due to shock.
His eyes got huge.
His mouth went slack.
His jaw hit the floor.
Berserker was kissing him.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"Yuck." Farfarello stopped his assault and pulled away with a frown on his scarred face. "Devil and hell, do you have any idea how disgusting it is to kiss someone with your reaction? It's like making out with a corpse."
"..."
"You can blink, you know?"
"... Ugh..."
"Okay. Take baby-steps. We've time. And I'm bathing in my victory, really, but do pull yourself together, Crawford. You're starting to drool and that's embarrassing, even for you."
"... What the... hell..."
"I got you. Straight between your eyes. Bang. You're dead. Thought you can read my moves, eh? Prepared for everything? Didn't believe I would manage it? Arrogant bastard. Here's the truth. I win. You lose. A moment I won't forget. Ever."
"... did you... do?"
"I won't repeat myself. Oh, I change my mind. I won. You lost. I'm the winner. You're the loser. I'm the destroyer of Bradley Fucking Crawford's legendary indestructible composure and you're the pitiful reminder of said illu--HMMMPF!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"I think we're the most childish grownups of the whole world."
"Make it the universe and I will agree. Instead of screwing our brains out we're fighting about who's the uke after we fought about who's the seme. That's pitiful."
"Yeah."
"..."
"..."
"Wanna screw, Ran?"
"Okay."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Whimper. Moan. Squeak.
"Yes! Right there! RIGHT THERE!"
Wheeze. Gasp. Pant.
"Yeah, baby, yeah."
Mewl. Howl. Screech.
"Faster! FASTER! FAAAASTEEER!"
Shove. Growl. Grunt.
"Take this! And THIS! AND THIS!"
Squeal. Jerk. Shriek.
"Yes! YESSS! AHHHHH!"
Tremble. Grind. Groan.
Scratch.
Silence.
Shock.
"AHHHHH! YOU SCRATCHED ME!"
"NOOOOO! DON'T STOP!"
"I'M BLEEDING!"
"DON'T YOU DARE STOP NOW, KEN!"
"That. Fucking. HURT!"
Yelp.
Stunned silence.
"Oh gods, Ken... Do that again... DO THAT AGAIN!"
Puzzlement.
Frown.
Light-bulb.
"You mean... that?" Shove.
YELP.
"Yes!"
Feral grin.
"Okay, you asked for it. That -thrust- fucking -thrust- hurt! -thrust thrust- That -ram- fucking -ram- HURT! -ramRamRAM-
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"... I cannot hear anything... I cannot hear anything..."
"Please, Omi, calm down."
"... I cannot hear anything... I cannot hear anything..."
"It's okay, Omi. I do believe Balinese and Siberian are almost fini--"
"... I cannot hear anything... I CANNOT HEAR ANYTHING!"
"Oh, Omi."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Aya stood stock-still and listened with wide eyes to the noises surrounding her. On her left side where those two young men had vanished into a room, she could hear screams like 'AHHHHH!' followed by 'NNNNNGH!' and 'EHHHHH', while on her right side where the two younger boys had entered another room, a hysterical and very vocal voice rhythmically declared that the owner of it couldn't hear anything.
And Ran hadn't opened his door when she had asked whether everything was alright with him and his lover.
So she stood a little lost in the corridor, all alone, with the stupid present for her brother still in her hands and didn't know what to do.
An especially high-pitched screech and a loud guttural growl that sounded as if someone was actually barking took the decision out of her hands. Aya started to walk away. Nothing, her mind whispered, still in a daze as she continued her way down the stairs, nothing could be more embarrassing and awkward than this situation.
And everything, absolutely everything would be better than those noises she really didn't want to ponder about because they brought a deep, hot flush on her face.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Glasses lay forgotten on the kitchen table as Farfarello moaned into the other man's mouth. His fingers were firmly interlaced with black hair as they kissed in a way that could only be described as a battle for dominance. Lips and teeth clashed. Tongues fought. His own white hair was being held in a hard grip, fingers pushed to press his head down in a demand to intensify the kiss even further.
It was wild.
It was feral.
It was perfect.
Sitting on Crawford's lap, he could feel the older man's erection through the material of their trousers, how it grinded eagerly into his own cloth covered hard-on. A surge of raw lust roared through his body, let him growl at the impatient, ferocious force behind a particularly hard thrust of the hard rode against his violently pulsing mea--
"Oh. My. Kami-sama."
They grew stiff, lips on lips, for a few hammering heartbeats. Panting, gasping, and utterly speechless about their dubious luck to get hit by universe's cruellest joke until Farfarello tore his head away to shot a vicious look at the intruder.
"WHAT?" he snarled with bared teeth and murder in his golden eye that told everyone to run far, far away if they wanted to live for another day. And he glared. And glared. And the girl in the doorway blinked owlishly back.
"What the fuck do you want?" Farfarello repeated slowly through his teeth as if he was a sated but nonetheless irritated lion talking to a very slow-witted lamb. And obviously she was, slow-witted, not a lamb, though, when she finally snapped out of wherever she had been in her little mind and opened her mouth, Farfarello actually believed for a second that a 'Baa!' would exit through her lips.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!"
And now, would someone please tell him the alleged difference between a Baa and this?
"And why the hell are you still standing there?"
"I'm... surprised?"
See? There is no difference whatsoever.
"Baa."
"... Pardon?"
"Baa! Baa-Baa! BAAAAA!"
"I'm really sorry but I don't understand."
"Fuck off."
"..."
"Get lost."
"..."
"We want to fuck if you don't mind."
And, lo and behold! Wonders will never cease! She actually got it!
"Oh my Gods!" was hurled their way and the girl bowed deeply, adding a hastily squeaked "Sumimasen!" to the typical formal Japanese tradition to apologize properly. Embarrassment was clear on her deeply flushed face as she straightened up again and her hands shot up in an automatic gesture to cover it, totally forgetting that she was still holding the parcel.
And it hit, straight in her face.
And there was a moment of stunned disbelief of all attendees until she broke the spell with a hilarious noise that reminded Farfarello of a hoarse frog in breaking of the voice, and hastily turned to run away, sharply missing the timber set in her panic to get out of the kitchen.
"Fuck," Farfarello mumbled in incredulity as he turned back to Crawford. "If there isn't some brain damage left by the coma you can call me Christ from now on."
"Chr--"
"Shut up, asshole."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Aya was beyond mortification. She couldn't believe that she had hit herself with the parcel in front of those men. They must think she was addlebrained! And to think that she had stumbled into such an awkward situation! She had hoped the gentleman with the glasses and the fancy suit would help to lighten her awful situation, but he had just stared at her in mild curiosity as if he was waiting for more of her clumsiness.
No way could she ever look them in the eyes again without dying of embarrassment.
A whimper escaped her lips as she thought about the consequences, about her brother's reaction the moment they would tell him about it. And, oh Kami-sama, the present! Ran won't only be ashamed of her; he will be disgusted! Oh no, what had she done? After all her brother did for her! He sent her to a wonderful European school, pays for her education, and with what does she return his brotherly care? With disgrace!
Aya stared down at the colourful wrapped present in helpless desperation and whished it would vanish into thin air. Maybe she should get rid of it. There was a chance that Ran had already forgotten about it. He hadn't really reacted when she had offered it to him, after all. And the moment would be perfect. Everybody in this house, including Ran, was occupied.
But she has to be careful about it, silent like a mouse or a cat. She just has to image that she is a person with an assignment. With a very important assignment. Like a police man, or a detective. Ah, no, too boring. Maybe more like a spy, or... That's it! She's a ninja! A ninja assassin! On a mission! Yes, she is a world-famous ninja assassin getting rid of evidence that could put something important at risk. Something very important like... world peace.
Of course she is an assassin who refuses to kill. But her skills are incredible. Actually, they are so incredible that not even her brother has a chance against her.
Ran, also known as The Notorious Florist.
Aya started to giggle at the images running through her head. She was aware of the sudden strange turns of her emotions - from horrified to shocked, from mortification to helpless sniggering - and that it could also be called as hysteria. But she gave a damn about it. She knew the emotional changes were thanks to frayed nerves left by those embarrassing situations, but now, at least she had a chance to prevent another one.
Mind made up and parcel crushed against her chest, Aya started to sneak down the corridor, carefully listening to any suspicious noises that would tell her of approaching enemies... florists... males... whatever.
Because, ninja assassin or not, she would get rid of the present once and for all.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"Drop it, Schu."
"No, really, that's something we should discuss to prevent further misunderstandings. So, you wanna be on top or are we going to gamble about it? There's poker, no, better strip-poker. Then there's Rock Scissor Paper, Find the Lady, Catch the Fi-- "
"More of that nonsense and there won't be any top or bottom for a very long time."
"Ha! These were definitely words spoken by a real top!"
"That's it!"
"Testy, aren't we-- Hey! Wait!"
Idiot, Ran thought angrily as he stormed out of the room. What does Schuldig think he would gain by ignoring his warnings, by provoking him even further? First, he complains about the lack of romantic and than this! Stupid German. Stupid Schwarz. Stupid... telephath! What kind of telepath is he after all, teasing him endlessly until he's mad enough to--
Ran paused on the last step down the stairways and stared bewildered at the scene less than two meters away from him. His eyebrows shot up at the spectacle that greeted him. His sister was creeping down the corridor. Or, if anything, it was more some strange variety of creeping because it looked rather odd to him.
Eyes were narrowed so weirdly that her face was all puckered up, and she was arching her back as if she had a hump. And the present for him she held against her chest looked as if it was being crushed by the death-grip of her arms.
And she was tiptoeing.
At a snail's pace.
And she was actually tiptoeing towards him.
Could this get any more bizarre?
"Aya?"
She stopped, frozen in this weird posture, and slowly directed her eyes up at him.
"Ran?" Aya stared at him doe-eyed. "But... How... I don't understand. I didn't hear you at all. Did you come down just now? No, that can't be. You were standing here all the time, weren't you? I mean, I would have heard you coming down. No way could I've missed something as noisily as you walking down those old, creaky steps. And they do creak, terribly so. I know it, because I went up there myself and they were creaking so much I feared I would break through them and, really, even the floor creaks..."
Ran grew stiff while his sister went on with the babbling. He couldn't believe that he had made such a stupid mistake, and he berated himself for not making enough noises in her presence. She didn't know, and how could she, that it was the stealth of an assassin that let him move so soundlessly. No wonder she was confused about his seemingly sudden appearance.
Confronted with the combination of disbelief, wide-eyed look, and natural stubbornness, Ran knew he had a serious problem at hand if he didn't distract her immediately.
"... and, come to think of it, I didn't hear anyone of your friends making any noises while walking around that creaky house. It's like living with--"
"Thank you for your gift, Aya."
Strange. Her eyes got even wider.
"What?"
Furrowing his brows at the nervously whispered response, Ran stepped down from the stairs and pointed at the parcel in her arms. "Isn't that the present you wanted to give me?"
"The... present?"
"Yes, the present. From you. For me. That colourful think in your hands."
"That's a... misunderstanding."
Come again? "A misunderstanding?"
"Hai."
"..."
"..."
Ran took the parcel. Aya took the parcel back.
Ran seized it. Aya snatched it back.
Ran pulled. Aya tugged.
Ran yanked. Aya--
"What the hell are you doing?" Schuldig's voice filled with incredulity came from above and Ran could have shouted in gratitude. The sudden voice startled Aya enough that he got a good hold on the parcel, and when her hands even flew up to cover her face he finally held it in his hands. Taking in a deep breath, Ran turned around to throw the German a thankful look and froze.
Schuldig was standing on the top of the stairs.
Only clad in his black boxer shorts.
That hung very low on his hips.
And now Ran knew why his sister had covered her eyes.
"Are you crazy?"
"Pardon?"
"Put something on!"
Schuldig had the nerve to look puzzled. "Excuse me, but I have something on. Or what do you think is the purpose of the material covering my--"
Ran ran. Straight up the stairs. Passing the German, he seized his arm and hauled him back down the corridor and into the room without pausing. Shutting the door forcefully, he turned with a vicious look to Schuldig.
"How dare you stand naked in front of my sister!"
"Half-naked."
"You think that's better?"
"As a matter of fact, yes I do. And don't shout, Ran."
"I can shout as loud as I want, you imbecile brainless German madman!"
"Oh! Look! A present!"
"So what!"
"Wanna open it?"
"What?"
"I said wanna open it?"
"No, Schuldig, you won't distract me with--"
"Poor Aya-chan."
"What...?"
"Aya-chan will be so sad."
"..."
"To have such an uncaring bro--"
"You're not off the hook yet, Schuldig," Ran hissed in annoyance as he started to tear the parcel open. How the hell does that man manage to manipulate him so easily every time they had an argument? Was this a side-effect of his telepathy? A natural trait?
"Do me the favour and wipe that smirk off your face when you try to look innocent, Schuldig. You look like a psychotic an... gel... NANI?"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
It was silent in the house after Ran's shouting had stopped, and slowly, Aya dropped her hands. Blankly, she stared up the stairs where her brother and his lover had vanished. With the present. The urge to fall on her knees and to wail in desperation was immense and she was about to surrender to it when a loud banging sounded through the house followed by a "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU PERVERTS!".
And then one of the boys came stomping down the stairs, without making any noises, but with darts in his hands and an expression on his otherwise friendly face that left her speechless. He passed her without a glance, ignored her like he ignored the other boy who was right behind him, desperately pleading with him to calm down.
The small procession went into the kitchen.
There was a strange, barely audible hissing noise and a "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" and the procession came back again.
Without the darts.
And they went up the stairs again with angry steps and soothing voice.
Noiselessly, go figure.
And Aya thought that it was over, that she could finally start to blink again, when she was promptly disabused by the gentleman who came out of the kitchen, adjusting his glasses with a bored look.
"Dilettante can't even hit an elephant with his darts when it's standing in front of him."
Aya tried not to move when he passed her on his way to the stairs, and somehow she doubted she could even if she wanted to. Her eyes were on the other man. This wasn't walking. This was stalking. This was a big cat stalking up to her with graceful, liquid moves.
She was caught by the golden eye, couldn't tear her eyes away from it as the man walked by with a smirk on his lips and a sneer in her direction.
"Hi there, Peeping Tom."
And when Ran chose exactly this moment to raise his voice again in form of a scandalized shout, Aya knew that he had opened her present. And she crumbled. Inwardly, not literally, and her mind was so shocked that she just turned around and walked away.
Tears started to gather in her eyes as she entered the living-room, and she stood there with a sob rising in her throat that never left her mouth because, out of the blue, she saw an angel in the middle of the room with a most caring voice and wonderful feminine facial features.
"Are you all right, my dear?"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
tbc
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
First of all, please don't hit because there wasn't any lemon. Secondly, I do love Aya-chan. She's adorable. And last but not least, I want to thank following readers for their wonderful reviews concerning the last chapter:
Mujyakina-Hitokoroshiya: Hi! Seme-Schu? Well, currently, Schu and Ran are fighting over Who's the Uke. Crazy little world, isn't it? They should finally come to an agreement because we're WAITING! #shakes fist#... Um, maybe there's a chance if I finally write it? #hides in shame #
tigermink: Yes, Brad has absolute no control... or has he? Hm, I think the situation between Farfie and Brad's finally getting interesting. Who's going to top whom? Really, I just hope they will survive it. Men are so silly sometimes. #shakes head#
Sacral: Yep, Brad hat Farfie geküsst. Und ich würde nie auf Yohji und Ken vergessen. Habe sie sogar mit einem kleinen Lemon in diesem Kapitel verewigt. Und es ist vollkommen egal, ob du auf Deutsch oder Englisch schreibst. Ich bin flexibel. #grins#
Spawn of Hell: You're so right. The whole story's absurd! Must be the work of a loony! Oops, that would be me. #cough# I hope I haven't overdone it with Aya-chan. I pity the girl, I really do. #pities her with an insane glimmer in her eyes#
lil-evil-bunni: Thank you. #hugs# So, you have a wish? Well, between you and me, let's say sometimes wishes become true and I hope you will like the outcome. #huge hentai smile#... Er, of course I meant the totally ordinary and agonizingly boooring 08/15 love-yawn-making will be great. #angelic smile#
Gunning Angel: Big Bad Macho Brad in panic? NEVER! #smirk# I've already decided about Ran and Schu's position, but let's wait and see who's also going to sing soprano in the next chapter. Maybe... Crawford? #evil cackle#
KT: Ah! Don't hit me! I swear you'll get a long nice Farf vs. Brad part in the next chapter with a healthy dose of vitamin C in it. #hint# With an overdose of vitamin C in it. #hint hint# You know what? Just suck on a few LEMON drops until the next chapter. #hint hint hint hint cough cough#. Sorry.
Bloodrose 'Valentine' Foxxstar: Ah, the mystery of Aya-chan's present. Must be something REALLY nice according to Ran's reaction to it and Aya-chan's reaction to her brother's reaction and... Well, Schu's going to make good use of it. Or rather I hope Schu knows what to do with it. I mean Schu's not so dumb to ignore such a… Well, we can hope, can't we?
Arcanas Yep, I think now Ran's definitely distracted enough by Aya-chan's present so if Schu's fast enough he can overpower him and Schu's without doubt a very bad driver because in German, the driver's side is left in opposite to Japan where the driver sits on the right side and... and... wheee... nuff said. Sorry, no place for driving Schu in this story but I hope I could explain it a little bit.
Andartha Too late, I already read "Small Gods" in German. And I loved it! Munchs "Der Schrei"? #lol# That could be Aya-chan, after everything that has happened to her till now. Poor girl. Sorry, but I can't send Farf and Brad to you. They're in search for a room. #nudge nudge wink wink#
Pyscho Senshi 2.0: Thanks for the review. I updated, and yes, somehow I even... reviewed. #blinks confused# Er... Anyway, I hope you had fun with the new one, too.
Kyra2: 'What the hell?' Funny, that was exactly my reaction after I reread this chapter! Nah, seriously, I still can't believe I wrote something so... so... is there even a name for it? Anyway, I hope the new chapter was absurd enough for you. I wouldn't like to disappoint, after all.
#grumbles# Not being able to respond properly sucks. #glances up at responses to reviews# I swear I couldn't help it! It's in my nature! I hope I'll see u all again. Until next time!