Thanks a lot for the many reviews! #hugs everyone# I hope the new chapter is to your liking. The next one should be the last one and should (finally) contain lemons. And now I'm off (ski vacation, hurray!), and you, minna-san, enjoy the new chapter.
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Disclaimer: To whom it may concern Weiß Kreuz doesn't belong to me. It's the property of Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiss (if my sources are correct). And I don't make money out of writing this story.
Warnings: NO BETA. German's my first language and this won't change as long as I live. Oh, Yohji's got a new nickname and I hope I haven't overdone it. #sweat drop#
"blah blah" … thoughts… /telepathy/
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Black Kitten's Dream
This is SO not happening!
Part 18
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Schuldig was a patient man. That's not really surprising with comrades like his. A hormone-ridden teenager with telekinetic abilities, a proudly self-proclaimed comical madman, and a clairvoyant who would rather smirk for a few days in delight about the fact that he knows something the others are aware of thanks to his never-ending grin, but don't get the details until he finds it necessary to finally tell them.
Therefore, Schuldig had had no other choice than to learn early that he should just wait in patience to avoid getting crazy or being squashed like a gnat. And he had mastered this virtue into perfection. And of this, he was proud of.
But when his hand unconsciously went up and he began to inspect and clean out his fingernails out of sheer boredom, he decided that everything had a limit.
"Ran?"
Nothing.
"Snap out of it, Ran."
Nada.
"You're totally overreacting."
Zilch.
"Okay, you win. I will pop your cherry."
Oha! Was that a blink? Crap. No. Ran looked as dazed as he did for the last three hours... minutes... Christ, even three seconds were too long for this. Schuldig let out a long, suffering sigh.
"It's not a snake, Ran. You can touch it. It doesn't bite."
Again no reaction.
"This is getting ridiculous." Rolling his eyes heavenwards, Schuldig reached out and took the offending object out of his lover's hands. The movement got the Weiss leader's attention and Ran snapped out of his daze, directing his baffled look agonizingly slowly from the hands holding the open parcel up until round eyes were focussed on him.
"Schu?"
"Yes, Liebling?" Schuldig spoke deliberately calmly, knowing that one should handle traumatised persons with care.
"Schu, these are..."
"Handcuffs, I know."
"They are..."
"Hideously pink. And plush-covered. One of the fluffy ones, so to speak."
"But... Why?"
Well, he could explain why Aya thought this would be the perfect present for her brother, with him being a mind reader and all. Or that he knew all along about the cause of it, because Schuldig himself had been the trigger for it. But the hell he was going to get Abyssinian's wrath for it. Therefore, Schuldig decided to play dumb.
"Beats me."
"But--"
"Ran, don't get too worked up over it. It's a harmless gift. I don't think your sister had dirty thoughts when she was buying it." Actually she had, not really dirty thoughts as in completely perverted, but regarding to her memory she had giggled the whole time at the thought of her brother using them.
"Still, I don't get it. Why did she buy me plush-covered pink handcuffs?"
"She knows you're gay, Ran."
"She does?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
Wow. Ran took it surprisingly well. Schuldig had rather thought the younger man would blow up at such a discovery. Heck, what discovery? Schuldig had already told her about their relationship in Ran's presence. That Ran didn't remember it now showed that his nerves were slowly getting numb in some sort of self-protection to all those nerve-wracking occurrences of the last few hours.
"But why, Schu?"
"Hm?"
"I want to know where the hell she gets such ideas!"
"You aren't?"
"What?"
"... Gay?" Did he miss some turn in their conversation?
"Don't be stupid, Schu. I think you know for sure that I'm gay or I'm really lacking in the sex department."
"You aren't, Liebling. Love your performances. But think about it logically. No straight man wears sexy bunny-outfits. Just be glad she didn't interpret more into it." Like pole-table-lap-strip-dancer-Drag Queen, Schuldig added mentally and prayed that Ran would never find out. Confronted with a still very thoughtful expression, Schuldig knew it was time to distract him for real before Ran seriously starts to think about some deeper meaning of his sister's present, thus discovering his involvement in it.
Taking the handcuffs out of the parcel, Schuldig flopped nonchalantly down onto the bed and began to inspect them with great interest.
"Why not use them?"
"Come again?"
"Really, that's something I always wanted to try out."
"No, thank you."
"Why not?"
"I'm no pervert."
"Come on. A little bondage here, a little wax there. Where's the harm in it? It won't hurt to try it out once in a while."
"Schu, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard from you and that's saying something."
"Oh, please, what's so bad about handcuffs? A little kink's the love life's spice, after all."
"Okay, you just surpassed yourself. THAT was the stupidest thing."
"You can't judge a book by its cover, Ran."
"... And what's that supposed to mean now?"
"Look, every mile begins with the first step and maybe there's a big realization at the end of it! Who knows?"
"What are you? A fortune cookie?"
"Argh! Why don't you just give it a try?"
"Nah, can live without it."
Schuldig was looking a little frustrated by now and was close to glaring when his face suddenly changed into a smug look. "Aw, could it be that our great Abyssinian's afraid of fluffy handcuffs?"
"Aw, could it be that you're just plain dumb? Shut up and move over," Ran growled irritated with an impressive glare and flopped down beside him, taking pleasure in the fact that he was forcing him to move fast to avoid getting crushed. Stretching out on the bed, Ran made himself comfortable with a soft sigh.
"Forget the handcuffs, Schu. I will ask Aya-chan afterwards."
Panic rose in Schuldig at the consequences this would bring for him and he propped himself up on his arm, looking down at his lover with forced calmness. "I don't think that's such a great idea, Ran."
"Why?"
"... Why?" Schuldig echoed helplessly, not really having thought his objection to the end. By now, he should have learnt to be prepared for his lover's almost unnatural urge to question everything. But he hadn't yet. And now it was too late. Darn. But he would start to work on it the minute he wakes up after his much needed week's long sleep. For now, he just had to wreck his tired brain for a fitting and, more importantly, satisfying reply.
"Because... Well... Because... Um..."
"Because?" Ran interrupted his stammering with exaggeratedly raised eyebrows.
"Isn't it obvious?" Schuldig snapped back, irritated by the amusement colouring his lover's voice while he was desperately trying to find a reason for his objection other than the truth that he was just trying to save his skin.
"No." Flat. Dry. Smirking. Oh wonder.
No, it wasn't really that surprising for Schuldig, knowing that Ran wasn't only stubborn until he got what he wanted but also took great pleasure in the squirming of his victims. Yes, Ran, heroic defender of the pure-hearted innocents had a cruel, sadistic streak in him. And Schuldig, his current victim, instantly got defensive.
"I'm horrified that you even have to ask why you shouldn't question your sister about it. Deeply, purely shocked. Nearly aghast. Almost disgusted by such--"
"Get to the point, Schu."
"You will just mortify her with such an insensitive question, for crying out loud!" ... Oh gods... Did he just have an inspiration? Inwardly, Schuldig fell on his knees in gratitude to send a prayer to whoever had helped him out of his – solely through lack of sleep caused misery because this dreadful situation wouldn't exist if he were rested and his brain would function normally – when Ran destroyed his short moment of triumph with a simple shrug.
"Yeah, as much as she mortified me with the handcuffs, I suppose. So what?"
Schuldig stared perplexed down, completely stunned by the casual reply. "But... you're Japanese! Isn't there something like an uber-polite gene in you? You Japanese bow and apologize to everything and everybody, and now you want to embarrass your own sister? I can't believe it. Okay, now I'm really shocked."
"You're watching too much anime. It's the 21st century. Japan's modern, harakiri's out."
"But--"
"Let's change the subject. Tell me, what's so great about being uke anyway? I thought it hurt like hell. Why did you change your mind? Is it a trap? Some twisted way to coax me into getting curious and submissive so you can finally be on top? Hm?"
For a short moment, Schuldig struggled with the question if Ran's sudden turn from going to interrogate his sister to interrogating him should be considered as good, and decided that it was even worse. It was time to put an end to it. It wasn't that he had put that funny thought about Ran being a striptease dancer into Aya's mind intentionally. The girl had too much imagination, that's all. Therefore, Ran couldn't blame him alone for this situation. Yes, there was a chance that Abyssinian wouldn't chop him into tiny pieces after hearing about it.
"Okay, I give up," he declared with a soft shake of his head and a careless wave of his hand. "Just go and ask your sister, for all I care."
Ran looked bewildered up at him. "Why should Aya know about your sexual preferences?"
Baffled, Schuldig could only return the puzzled look with a blank one, so caught up was he in the mystery that was Ran's brain. Jesus, he would never be able to get behind the logic that should be somewhere in his lover's train of thoughts. Not as long as he wasn't allowed to use his gift to read his mind.
"Why indeed," Schuldig mumbled softly, defeated, and dropped his head to bury his face into the pillow. They were running in circles with no end in sight. He had to bargain a new agreement with Ran to avoid making already difficult conversations pounding headaches. An agreement where he was allowed to use his gift. Not all the time, of course. Just in case of need. Like an emergency call he, knowing from experience, would use every three minutes. Christ, he wanted to go back to his normal, boring life of being an evil, mind-controlling, world domination seeking assassin.
"Have you fallen asleep, Schu?"
Suppressing the urge to scream into the pillow in sheer frustration - he managed it just barely but he did, somehow - Schuldig slowly turned his head with slightly narrowed eyes.
"Ran, you're right. I didn't get much sleep on the forest ground. I'm tired. Drop dead tired. I'm quasi in a coma. I wanna sleep."
"Poor baby."
"Go pester Aya, Ran."
"Not before you tell me about your sudden interest in being uke."
"I love you fucking me."
"That was nice. And now the truth."
Schuldig narrowed his eyes further.
Ran raised his brows challengingly.
Schuldig glared at Ran.
Ran smirked back.
Schuldig bared his teeth.
Ran rolled his eyes.
Schuldig pounced.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Omi whirled around with wide eyes, startled by the sudden scream. His heart was pounding in his chest like a jackhammer as he stood by the kitchen counter, bread knife ready to defend himself. After a moment of shock and warily listening for more bloodcurdling screams, he lowered the knife and stared disbelievingly in the direction the scream must have come from.
"Who the hell was that?"
Nagi, apparently unaffected by the scream, unhurriedly swallowed the piece of bread he was champing and turned with a short shrug to take another slice of bread. "No clue."
Surprised by his lover's uncaring reaction, Omi watched him butter the bread. "But don't you want to know who it was, Nagi-kun? It could've been one of your team members, after all."
The snort coming from the young Schwarz member showed how much this thought amused him. "No offence, Omi-kun, but I know for sure that it wasn't one of them."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Simple. They don't shriek."
"Oh... OH!" Realizing what his lover just had indicated, Omi's back stiffened and he folded his arms with a small glare. He knew it was ridiculous, really, but he felt obligated to defend his friends.
"What do you mean, Nagi-kun? That your colleagues are manlier than mine?"
Thoughtfully, Nagi tilted his head to the side, opened his mouth --
"SCHULDIG! YOU PERVERTED BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
-- closed it again and nodded somewhat impressed. "Couldn't have explained it better myself."
Omi jaw hung low. "Was that Ran?"
"Jep. Like I said before, it's one of yours. And it looks as if Abyssinian doesn't like kink."
"Nagi-kun! You're too young to know about such... things." Omi couldn't hide how shocked he was. His boyfriend turned with a puzzled look at his outcry, and confronted with the scandalized look, Nagi's lips slowly turned into a smile, eyes twinkling in amusement.
"Ah, sorry to disappoint you, Omi-kun, but Farfarello has already told me about the birds and the bees when I was twelve. And about birds with birds and bees with bees. And about bees getting kinky with honey. But I must say at that time, I thought the honey story was just crazy talk. Something Farfie had made up to annoy me. Well, Schu took pity on me and translated it for me as a variety of sex. Oh, and Omi, you whirl really gracefully but please, the next time someone's screaming and you've a knife in your hand just watch it. You almost cut me a minute ago."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"I SWEAR YOU'RE DEAD, SCHULDIG! YOU'RE SO DEAD!"
Smiling like a loving father to his crotchety child, Schuldig listened patiently to the currently more screeching than usually lovely voice of his lover. Oh, yes, Schuldig was happy. He was downright ecstatic. He was sure that life couldn't get better at the moment. And never before had he felt such gratitude to be born psychic.
Just as he had been about to scream for real in frustration about the Aya-uke-seme-strip-lap-dancer situation, he finally had remembered that mind reading wasn't his only gift per se.
Ran hadn't had a chance.
Not against Mastermind's famous speed.
And now, standing beside the bed, Schuldig watched his lover how he wriggled furiously, trying to get out of the fluffy handcuffs that were binding him to the frame of the four-poster bed. It was somewhat surprising that an assassin of Ran's calibre couldn't get out of them; really, he should take lessons from Farfie. But that wasn't something Schuldig was unhappy about now. No, not at all.
Because at the moment, Ran was glaring and Ran was shouting, Ran was snarling and hissing. And Ran was deliciously helpless, tied to the bed as he was, wriggling his sexy body unconsciously erotically in front of Schuldig's eyes.
Oh yes, life was great.
And grinning like a Cheshire cat, Schuldig spread his arms and pounced. Again.
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"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Nagi instantly froze at the last bloodcurdling scream that sounded through the house. Horrified, he stared down at the knife he held in midair, ready to butter another slice of bread. He couldn't bring himself to move, frozen in this position, with his mind blank due to the heavy shock the scream had triggered in him. And so he watched the terribly interesting process of butter slowly sliding down the knife to hit the surface of the kitchen counter.
He just couldn't believe it.
Because this wasn't real.
It just couldn't be.
But it was.
One of Schwarz had shrieked.
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"Schu?" Ran tried to stretch by straining his arms enough to be able to look over the edge of the bed, down to where the German must have fallen. "Are you alright, Schu?"
A pitiful moan was the only indication that Schuldig actually was down there... beside the bed... on the floor... somewhere. Getting no further response, Ran became concerned.
"Say something, Schu. I'm getting worried there. Not much, mind you. It was your own fault, after all. But at least a little bit. So say something."
Finally, after some more pitiful whimpering and moaning, a tiny voice flowed up. "Help me."
Rolling his eyes, Ran relaxed his arms again by lying back down on the bed and stared with a suffering look up at the ceiling. "Oh, you have to believe me that I would. If I could. But funnily enough for some strange reason I can't. Let's see... Who was the one again who shackled me to the bed? Whose fault is it? Well, certainly not mine."
"... Just get the keys, Ran."
"Huh?"
"The keys. In the box."
"And what? Get them with my toes? I'm SHACKLED to the BED in case you have forgotten!"
"Now is not the time to get sarcastic, Ran."
"That's really funny because personally, I think it's the perfect time to--"
"I cannot believe it!" Schuldig's head shot up and furious eyes glared at him over the edge of the bed. "I'm dying down there and all you can do is bitching!"
"Ha! Some dying man you are!"
"It fucking hurts! You kneed me in the groin, Ran!"
"It was a reflex!"
"You almost hit my balls!"
"They're being called family jewels, you vulgar, ill-bred, ignorant--"
"And what are you calling your cock, huh? Little magical stick?"
"Little...? LITTLE?"
"Oh, please, we all know Asian men are... Oh for heaven's sake! It was meant as a term of endearment, you dimwit. Your magical stick is huge. Okay? GIGANTIC! Satisfied? Can we finally go back to MY nearly destroyed BALLS?"
"I'm not feeling sorry and I won't apologize! It was your own fault! Why did you jump on me in the first place anyway?"
"That's... not the question now," Schuldig snapped back defensively and stood up, glaring accusingly down at him with his hands firmly planted on his hips. "The question is why you don't help your injured lover!"
"How the hell am I supposed to help when I'm SHAKLED TO THE BED?" Is the German addle-brained?
"Just get out of them, for crying out loud! Every amateur assassin knows how to do it without a key!"
"I TRIED!"
"AND?"
"... I think they're broken."
"What?"
"They are broken! Are you deaf?"
"That can't be. Let's see."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Oookay, they're broken. I'll get the keys."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Oookay, they aren't in the box. I'll ask Aya-chan."
"Don't you dare involve my sister, Schuldig! And don't look at me as if I've lost my mind! The situation's embarrassing enough for me without Aya knowing that I'm SHACKLED TO THE BED!"
"And what the hell should I do, huh? You don't have much choice in this matter if you want to get out of them... Well, I could ask Farfie."
"NEVER!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Ken stood wide-eyed in front of their leader's room. "How many times has Ran shouted by now that he's shackled to the bed?"
"Beats me, I haven't counted." Yohji snorted rather amused about the shreds of words they could hear through the closed door. "But damn, who would have known that Ran's into bondage. Funny, ne?"
"Yeah."
"And his last word 'Never'. Seems he likes to be tamed, dominated. Perhaps Ran's even into role playing. Master and Slave, or something like that."
"... Yeah."
Yohji's smile widened at the images his mind was creating. "Maybe it's even something like 'I'll NEVER submit to you, you evil, EVIL man! ... Except if you take me with brute, barbaric force and spank me first.'" He couldn't hold back the snigger anymore. "Wouldn't that be hilarious? Ran all flustered and submissive, shackled to the bed, begging to be spanked?"
"... Yeah."
Shaking his head, Yohji grinned in amusement. "It's always the silent one, ne Ken?"
"... Yeah."
"..."
"..."
Frowning about the same, somehow automatically given responses of his lover, Yohji glanced curiously over at him. Ken was staring at the closed door with glassy eyes and a slight flush on his face. He looked rather dazed and, knowing his lover for a while now, Yohji could guess the reason for it. Well, Yohji wasn't stupid, or nuts, and so he decided without a second thought to seize the opportunity and to put the theory into practice.
"Ken."
"...Yeah."
"KENKEN!"
Startled, Ken blinked a few times as though he was waking up from a sweet dream before he looked at him questioningly. "Yes, Yoyo?"
"Er... Wanna fuck again, Kenken?"
"Hai!"
They hurried down the corridor back to Yohji's room in a fast speed. Grinning in anticipation, Yohji threw open the door and stepped in only to collide with a body. Frowning, he stepped back again and stared at the intruder's back. Leather... pale skin... white hair... and one golden eye as the intruder slowly turned around to regard him in utter disinterest.
"What do you want, watch-boy?"
Yohji's eyes narrowed in irritation at the mocking nickname and his retort came as a furious hiss. "What the fuck are you doing in my room, Schwarz? Get the hell out!"
"Yohji!" Ken looked bewildered, apparently startled by his outburst. "Don't be so rude."
"You've got to be kidding me! That loony is in my room!"
"I do think Farfie has a good explanation for him being... oh, and Oracle... in your room. Ne, Farfie?"
Yohji had to admit it was quite fascinating how the look in Berserker's golden eye turned from bored to death to saccharin in less than a split second.
"Of course I have, Kenken."
Kenken? Since when has Berserker the right to call his Ken by that personal nickname? It was his right alone to call Ken Kenken!
"See?" Ken interrupted Yohji's fuming thoughts with a satisfied nod. "I knew it."
Yohji stared open-mouthed at his lover, utterly speechless by the almost terrifying naivety of him. "Ken, all he said was that he has one. But not WHAT it is!"
"... Oh."
Amazed by the absurdity of the whole situation, Yohji watched fascinated as his lover turned back to Berserker, obviously ready to ask another one of his pointless questions, when the Schwarz member stopped him with the most unbelievable facial expressions Yohji had ever seen in his whole life. The resemblance to Kaa the snake trying to hypnotize Mogli was striking and Yohji almost waited for Berserker to start lisping. Well, Berserker didn't lisp, thank Goodness, but the following conversation between the madman and his cute but thoroughly naive lover was even worse and Yohji could only listen in helpless incredulity.
"Kenny-boy, do you remember how I was jumping up and down on your bed during our conversation in your room last night?"
"Of course, Farfie."
"And do you remember how the bedsprings were creaking?"
"Hai."
"It was terribly loud, wasn't it?"
"Oh, yes."
"Don't want to get deaf when I'm screwing Crawford."
"... Oh."
Both men watched Ken closely, waiting for him to analyse and to react. Berserker was smirking, and Yohji was praying frantically. And then, the unbelievable happened.
"Okay."
"WHAT?"
"They do creak, Yohji. You know it."
"But... THAT'S MY ROOM!"
"Don't be such a spoil-sport. Have fun, Farfie... Crawford... Come on, Yohji."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Leaning against the timber set, Farfarello watched them go away, Siberian resolutely tugging the loudly protesting Balinese down the corridor. His smirk widened at the fun he knew was waiting for him in the future thanks to Hidaka's help, when a calm but dangerously low voice floated up behind him.
"You screwing me, Berserker?"
A wolfish grin spread over his scarred lips, and slowly, he closed the door and turned around to lean against it in a relaxed posture. The grin widened until he was showing teeth, and he regarded his opponent with an unreadable but unmistakably predatory look in his golden eye.
"Without a doubt, Bradley."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Kami-sama, can this get any more ridiculous?
Ran was angry and deep down he knew it was futile, but he had to try to get out of the handcuffs. At least he wanted to break the wooden post of the bed so that he could finally move again freely. And so he tugged, and pulled, and yanked, and pushed. And Schuldig watched him silently with slightly furrowed brows. Now, Ran was even angrier.
What the hell is Schuldig doing, watching me like this? Is he talking to some invisible gnome in his head? And why the hell does he call himself Mastermind anyway? Shouldn't he have at least one idea to get me out of them? Mastermind! HA! Don't make me laugh!
"We could use a saw."
Ran stilled at once with his eyes locked on the chain that was binding him to the frame. Suddenly, all intentions to fight for his freedom left him and he lay back down on the bed, tiredly staring up at the ceiling.
"We don't have a saw, Schu."
The snort coming from Schuldig was pure amusement. "No offence, Liebling. We both know Weiss is nothing compared to Schwarz, but to be lacking tools like saws is a little bit unprofessional. Even for Weiss, don't you think?"
There was a moment of sheer disbelief, and when Ran finally found his voice again he wasn't so sure if his words were audible; forced through firmly gritted teeth. But to tell the truth he didn't give a damn about it.
"I'll try to forget the Weiss-is-nothing-compared-to-Schwarz part because at the moment, I'm shackled to the bed and therefore can't strangle you with my own hands. Sad but true. However, we had a saw, Ken saw the saw, and the saw had been a saw. Satisfied, Mr. O-mighty-Schwarz?"
"Oh." Snigger. "Maybe it was the other way around and the saw saw Ken and--"
"Do you really intend to make me angrier by making idiotic comments?"
"Well, actually... Er... No. No, I don't want to."
"Wise choice."
"Thought so."
"..."
"..."
"WHAT!"
"What happened to the saw?"
"Ken bended it beyond repair while trying to saw steel with it."
"Oh."
"..."
"Steel?"
"Don't ask."
"... Okay."
"Any more questions?"
"Ah... No."
"Kami-sama, this is ridiculous," Ran voiced his thought out loud. Wasn't there anything else they could do?
The mattress sagged under a new weight. Schuldig lay down beside him and fingers started to run through his hair almost soothingly. The movements were so casual that Ran was immediately alerted.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"I don't believe you."
"Is it not allowed for your lover to be a little--"
"No."
"..."
"..."
"Liebling?"
"What?"
"Isn't this arousing?"
NANI?
"You're helpless. Tied. At my mercy."
"Schu, I know about seven moves to kill a man solely with my left leg. To be shackled by the hands doesn't hinder me at all."
"... Are you trying to be romantic?"
"Maybe."
"Don't be it, okay? It's scary."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"This is ridiculous! Absurd! Madness!"
Yohji was fuming. He couldn't believe that Ken had let those bastards have his room for... No, he didn't want to image what they were doing right now. It was inapprehensible! Crazy! Unbelievable! Schwarz was in HIS room. In his BED!
"Chill, Yohji."
"Why should I! I cannot believe it! You let them stay in MY room!" Yohji snarled furiously, but instead of withering under his murderous glare Ken looked calmly back.
"Think about it logically, Yohji."
"HA! YOU want to tell ME about LOGIC! That's the joke of the day! Of the week! YEARS!" Yohji knew he was ranting and he was aware that he was getting nasty, but he was too furious to hold back.
"You stabbed me in the back, Ken. You took Schwarz's side! You're a fucking traitor!"
Again, his snarling and glaring was dodged easily. Ken was completely unimpressed by his accusation, and there was even an amused smile on his lips while he was watching him striding up and down the room.
"Do you really want to fight them, Yohji? One does not feel pain, and the other one knows about your every move. You know first-handed that their abilities are--"
"It's. My. ROOM!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Ken suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Oh, he did love Yohji, but to discuss something that couldn't be changed without bloodshed with someone who was currently acting like a stubborn donkey was the last thing he wanted right now.
And so he agreed, "I know," but more for peace's sake than for Yohji's, and he left his place by the closed door to stroll over to his bed.
"But it's a pity, don't you think?" Slowly, he unbuttoned his shirt and let it slide down his shoulders onto the floor.
"We've got a bed." He opened his pants and wriggled his hips until they followed the shirt on the floor.
"And we've got time." Unhurriedly, he bent forward while pulling his shorts oh-so slowly down his buttocks. The socks followed quickly and Ken crawled naked onto the bed to lay down with a soft, sad sigh. Casually, he put one hand on his stomach and began to slowly circle his belly button with a finger.
A glance confirmed his guess.
Yohji was watching the finger mesmerized.
Good.
Ken let his fingers wander down to a less public place, and while his bottom lip stuck out in the most adorable pout ever seen on this planet, he started to speak with a small, shy voice.
"All I wanted was some fun, Yoyo."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Gah! Yohji watched the fingers combing through Ken's pubic hair. That's... UNFAIR. He's... CHEATING. He's playing dirty! Ken's playing with my primary instinct! He knows I cannot... cannot... can... not... Oh Gods, don't go further down... DON'T YOU DARE GO FURTHER DOWN!
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Gotcha! Ken thought triumphantly with his fingers dangerously close to his already hardening flesh. Oh, it was quite arousing to see how Yohji got rid of his clothes in record time, to see him losing his control over his libido, and to know that he was the one who had that power over the older man.
A shiver ran down his body at an especially deep growl coming from the older man who was slowly stalking up to him, and when a deep voice began to tell him a story of sweet punishment, his already hard flesh jumped in excitement.
"You're SO paying for that, Ken."
And Ken, despite his arousal and immense joy, could only squeak in response.
"Oh, yes, punish me, you Big Bad Wolf!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"WHOOOOUUUUU."
Omi turned his head so fast that he almost suffered a whiplash injury. Stunned, he stared at the exit of the kitchen, hardly believing what he just had heard. Was there a dog in the house? A terribly wounded dog, according to that horrible howling, and Omi was about to go and investigate when Nagi's small voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Omi?"
Surprised, Omi turned back to his lover. Nagi hadn't said a single word for the last few minutes, hadn't reacted at all to Omi's desperate attempts to get his attention. Nothing had worked. No nudging, no shaking, and no begging. And the sight of the young Schwarz member, staring down at the butter knife as if in trance with lost, desperate eyes had almost broken his heart. Therefore, Omi was totally happy that the shell-shocked boy finally spoke again.
"Yes, Nagi-kun?"
"Can we just forget the last scream, Omi?"
"... Which scream?"
"Oh thank you so much!" Nagi turned and pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face firmly into his neck.
Omi didn't have the heart to ask once more which scream Nagi had meant; the last high-pitched scream after Ran's shriek, or the strange howling sound from just a minute ago. No, he won't ask again because he didn't really care anymore.
Nothing was more important than the happiness of his lover.
Really.
Absolutely nothing was worth destroying this sweet moment.
Honestly!
Because Nagi's joy was all that counted right now.
Cross my heart and hope to... Er... Well... Except...
"Um, Nagi? Could you put the knife down, please? You're spreading butter all over my baAAAAACK!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
"Stupid Omi. Stupid Weiss. Stupid butter. Stupid shirt. Stupid Omi. Stupid, insensitive, heartless... ARGH!"
Yes, Nagi was fuming. He just couldn't believe that Omi was more concerned about the welfare of an idiotic shirt than about his own lover. Why couldn't Omi just hold him, comfort and caress him? Wasn't Omi aware that he had been shell-shocked? That most of all he had needed at that moment had been an embrace? Some warm, kind words? But nooo, Omi HAD to point out that stupid--
"Nagi! Wait!"
"Go away, Omi." Nagi didn't slow down, too angry about his lover's behaviour. He wanted some time to cool off, but a surprisingly just as angry response took him completely by surprise.
"No, I won't go away." And a hand fell on his shoulder, turning him around until he was facing Omi. An accusingly glaring Omi.
"You stabbed me, Nagi."
Annoyed, Nagi folded his arms and glared back. "It was a butter knife, Omi, and it's the most blunt butter knife in the whole world. A two-year old wouldn't be able to hurt itself with it even if it falls on it. It's so dull even Farfie would need weeks to sharpen it."
"It still hurt!" Omi was clearly offended by his lack of remorse and Nagi couldn't help but feel some satisfaction over it.
"It's your own fault. To be concerned about stupid butter is--"
"NO excuse for what you did! You stabbed me in the back, Nagi!"
"And you lathered my eye! And do I make a fuss over it? NO! It still hurts, Omi! And I bet EVERYTHING I have that it's still glaring red. Right?"
Well, with hindsight, maybe he shouldn't have pulled his eyelid down to show the whole extend of the injury, because the outcome wasn't exactly what he had aimed for. In fact, Nagi shot himself in the foot.
It started with Omi staring at his exposed eye in utter shock.
This prompted Nagi to pull his eyelid slowly back again. Now he was actually a little worried about his eye, contrary to the moment the incident had happened. Was it really that disturbing?
Then, Omi blushed and began to bite his bottom lip.
By now, Nagi felt the first bang of consciousness.
And when Omi's shoulders fell and he hung his head in shame like a sad puppy and his whole posture started to scream of embarrassment, Nagi's anger crumpled into thousands of tiny pieces. Hastily, he stepped up to his lover.
"I exaggerated, Omi. It doesn't hurt one bit, I swear."
"But you said--"
"Forget what I said. I overreacted, totally, and I'm sorry I stabbed you in the back."
"Oh, Nagi. I exaggerated, too. You didn't really stab me. The knife is terribly blunt, after all."
Sigh.
"I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry, too."
Double sigh.
"I love you, Omi. I really do."
"I love you too, Nagi-chan. With all my heart."
"Aw, how cute. To show your love, you just have to lather the eyes of the person you like so that he can stab you in the back to return the feelings. Isn't that sweet?"
"Shut up," Nagi hissed back, cursing his bad luck. Of all the places to have an argument, they just had to choose the one in front of the room Farfarello was apparently in.
"No, really," the Irishman continued mockingly through the closed door, unfazed by the venom in Nagi's voice. "That's entirely to my taste. But I wonder, what happens at the wedding? Do you scratch each other's eyes out instead of giving rings? Ah, and the wedding night! Makes one curious how the fucking's--"
Nagi snapped, and with him his power. He lashed out blindly, directing a powerful push at and through the door where Farfarello must be standing according to his muffled but close voice.
The door rattled and a yelp could be heard. Nagi smirked at the following silence, and his sweet triumph lasted until a new pained voice rose from behind the closed door.
"You're SO grounded for two weeks, Prodigy."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Lying flat on the floor where Nagi's power had so rudely transported him, Crawford glared up at the Irishman.
"You did this intentionally."
"You've got proof?"
"I saw you. You stepped aside. And you were smirking. Just like now."
"Ah, finally got some visions again?"
"Bastard. You went too far. This won't go unpunished."
"Hm." Farfarello regarded him thoughtfully before he left his place by the door to step up to him. Unhurriedly, he crossed the room and crouched down beside him, looking him up and down with an elegantly raised eyebrow.
"Do you need any help, old man?"
Crawford gritted his teeth, trying to ignore Farfarello's taunting and the pain in the small of his back. "Yes, Berserker, in fact you can. Just come a little closer."
The second eyebrow joined the first. "So that you can whisper sweet words filled with love into my ear?"
"No, so that I can strangle you."
"Hm, is this some sort of foreplay?"
"Yes."
"Kinky."
"..."
"..."
"Oh for the love of... Just help me up already!"
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
Lost in his own little word, Nagi stared numbly at the closed door. He has got a lady bug on his nose, a beagle on his forehead, lost his voice, got it again in form of mortifying squeaking, and had had a lathered eye.
And now he was grounded for two weeks.
This.
Wasn't.
Fair.
"Nagi."
There was no justice in this.
"Nagi!"
It was cruel. Paradox. A spiteful joke, meant to amuse evil creatures.
"NAGI!"
It was the proof that the whole world was corrupted, amoral, and that laughter and joy had no meaning in it. That happiness and innocence, love and affection didn't count in this cruel world. That hopping through a beautiful flower field, hand in hand with your wonderful lover, accompanied by cheerfully chirping birds and a laughing sun that was dancing on the brilliant blue sky to the song of love and peace was nothing but a short living illu--
-Slap-
Nagi's jaw hung low as he turned wide-eyed to his lover. "Did you just slap me?"
"Yes, I did," Omi confirmed with a stern look. "I don't know what's wrong with you today, but you're spacing out all the time!"
"Don't know...?" An incredulous look spread over Nagi's face. "I am grounded for two weeks, Omi!"
"And where's the problem?"
"You can't be serious. I won't be able to see you for TWO WEEKS!"
"Why?"
"..." Nagi stood a little speechless, and with the weird feeling of having a déjà vu he gave his answer hesitantly, almost uncertainly. "Perhaps because I'm grounded?"
That brought a smile on Omi's lips which confused Nagi even more than he already was. Why was Omi so amused about it? Shouldn't he be terribly sad?
"Look, Nagi, there's no problem whatsoever. Believe me."
"But--"
"Where do you live?"
"... In a penthouse in Ginza?"
"In Ginza? Wow. Now I'm jealous."
"... Omi?"
"Okay. I meant where do you live right now?"
"... HA!" The miserable clouds parted, the sun went up, and birds were flying high as if on drugs. "BWAHAHAHA! CRAWFORD! YOU LOSER! YOU MADE SUCH A MISTAKE BY--HMMMPHHH!"
"Are you crazy? Hush!" Omi hissed in a low, warning voice with his hand firmly pressed against Nagi's lips.
Constrained by the hand and totally confused, Nagi tried to express an urgent question. "Hmph?"
Slowly, Omi took the hand away and threw a cautious look at the thankfully still closed door. "Don't point it out to him that his punishment means nothing because Schwarz are currently living with us!"
Nagi's eyes widened in realization and he nodded sheepishly in agreement. "Okay. Sorry," came his whispered reply and they turned and walked away as soundlessly as they could muster.
They tiptoed down the corridor until a strange noise caught their attention.
Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak.
What the hell is that? Furrowing his brows, Nagi slowed down on their way back to Omi's room and listened in bewilderment to the strange noises coming from the room on his left side. It sounded like creaking. And it was quite rhythmical. Suspiciously rhythmical, in Nagi's opinion, and if he wouldn't know it better he would even dare to say that the creaking was a sign of two people having--
They turned their head at once and both boys stared at each other in utter shock, the noises an almost mocking soundtrack in the background.
Creak. Creak. Creak. Squeak. Creak. Howl. Creakcreakcreakcreakcreakcreak.
Blushing furiously, they quickened the pace hastily until they had passed the room.
"Kami-sama, that was..."
"... embarrassing," Nagi finished Omi's sentence with a glowing face. The situation was awkward for the two boys, and they walked the next meters side by side in silence until Omi broke it with a sigh and a shake of his head.
"I swear, sometimes, Yohji and Ken can be so insufferable. You've no idea how glad I am that Ran isn't--"
"Oh Kami-sama! Schu! Yes! That's it!"
"... like..."
"Right there! Yes! Almost!"
"... that." Omi stopped and stared disbelievingly at Ran's door. "No, that's not true. Not Ran. Not our stern, composed, cool, unfazed, impassionate--
"Push harder, Schu! Yes! YES! THAT'S IT! RIGHT THERE!"
Nagi, knowing by now thanks to Omi that the danger of falling into a state of shock could only be averted by immediate measure, reacted instantly when his lover's face started to turn blank.
-SLAP- -SLAP-
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
After a moment of silence...
"Did Nagi just call me a loser?"
"Jep. Well, shall I help you up or not?"
"I cannot believe it. Nagi called me loser."
"Make up your mind, Brad. My legs are getting numb."
"And that after he used his power on me. On me, his leader."
"It's getting boooooring."
"That's outrageous, scandalous."
"Okay. I'm off."
"I won't tolerate such behaviour... Where are you going?... Oi! Wait!... As your leader, I order you to--
"Blah. Blah. Blah."
"FREEZE!"
"Aw." Farfarello turned with mockingly raised eyebrows. "And now our great leader wants to play cops and robbers. How cute."
"Nnnnggg."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
The wood gave one last, barely audible groan, and Schuldig sat down on the bed, totally exhausted.
"That's it. I give up."
"Just push HARDER!"
"It's futile."
"NO!"
"YES!" Schuldig threw up his arms. "Face it, Ran. It's unbreakable!"
"Try it again!"
"I'm Mastermind, not Superman."
"Nooo! That can't be!" Ran's moan of helpless desperation let Schuldig sigh in sympathy. He lay down beside him again until they were facing each other, and his hand reached out to pet him soothingly, to comfort him and to put him at ease when violet eyes suddenly narrowed dangerously.
"Don't you dare try to take advantage of the situation again just to satisfy your perverted mind, Schuldig, or by God, I swear, the moment I'm out of those cuffs you're dead meat."
It was quite fascinating, really. Schuldig could actually feel how the murderous look pierced him like a laser beam, and with his hand hovering over Ran's head his reply came rather stunned.
"Ouch."
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
tbc
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Well, onto the Reviews!
Tigermink: Ah, Omi and Aya-chan. Well, as long as they're just shell-shocked... er... I mean as long as they're just a little dazed by the incidents and occurrences, I wouldn't be too concerned about them. After all, it isn't as though the torture's going to stop suddenly and their lives are turning into happy, flower fields and sunshine filled days. Not as long as I'm writing on this story. #smirk#
Spawn of Hell: Hm, how can I spout things like that? Dunno. My therapist says it's some repressed trauma lying in my childhood... years... #cough#... I mean, come on, the situations aren't that absurd or improbable. All of what I write could happen every day. To everybody! To you, to me, to Farfie and to Schu. #nods gravely, takes another one of those funny coloured pills and goes away to catch one of those beautiful imaginary butterflies# oO
annakas: #grins# Yes, Ran has a lot to make up for the lost time of being a virgin. But I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure Schu will help him out. You don't have to feel sorry for Aya-chan, she will get her revenge. Sorta. I do like her, after all. Personally, I love Farfie and Brad. I find it funny when their personalities are clashing. Did you like Ran's present? I believe Ran does, a lot. #evil hentai smile# Thanks for your reviews!
Stefani: I know a good laugh can brighten up a day. And if, by any chance, I can help with it I do. Or I try, at least #sweat drop#. Hopefully the new chapter has the same influence on you like the previous ones. Thanks for the review! #hugs#
KT: So sorry, again no lemon in this chapter. Oh my, Aya-chan. I think it was my sense of justice that I let her suffer along with the others. But you don't have to feel bad for her, really. It was just a tiny situation… compared to what the others have to endure. #evil grin while thinking of Brad lying helpless of the floor with only Farfie around# Thanks for your praise! It means a lot for me. #hugs#
Psyhco Senshi 2.0: My pleasure. Great that you liked the previous chapter and I hope I didn't disappoint with the new one. #hugs#
Kyra2: Oh my. I really overdid it with Aya-chan, didn't I? #hides in shame# I can just say what I've told KT, I swear it was solely my sense of justice that made her suffer a LITTLE BIT (compared to the others) and… maybe some wicked streak #grins#. Well, you couldn't remember what was in the box because Ran just found out about it. And he was SO excited about the cuffs, wasn't he? #smirk# And the mystery who the person in the living room is will be solved in the next chapter. I hope you liked the new one!
Arcanas: Believe me I could ramble for hours just to answer your review. As for the kitchen scene, I never intended to let them have some fun at this point. Too early for my taste. You see, I've this theory: To receive the sweet fruit of passion you have to suffer first. Then it tastes even better. I swear this theory works. At least on Farfie and Brad. #evil smirk#
Andartha: Greetings! #hugs# Don't know yet whether I should post the story on my blog, I'm still a little shy about it. Well, Schu and Ran are slowly but surely changing into an old couple. All they do is nag nag nag and bitch bitch bitch. But on the other hand, they can still surprise each other so it isn't entirely hopeless. Anyway, I think it's high time for them to finally get to the juicy parts #cracks knuckles#. I hope you will like the next chapter, at least you'll find out who's going to be the uke. Oh, and Brad and Farfie have finally found a room, though, there wasn't even a kiss today, let alone a lemon. Sorry. #hides#
Gunning Angel: Oh, Farfie and Brad are the PERFECT couple, believe me! Both are adorable and so witty and funny!... #blinks# I think I've a temperature. Well, Ran and Schu aren't doing any better in the couple-department. Or Nagi and Omi. Come to think of it, it's kinda funny but Yohji and Ken are the only one with a functional relationship. Time to reward the others with some lemon, don't you think? Oh, I love my assassins, that I do. #sighs#
izedlatte: Better late than never, ne? #hugs# You don't have to avoid your guest room. Just step in and think about Ran lying on the bed, handcuffed, helpless, at your mercy, with huge begging... eyes… er… Just avoid your guest room from now on, okay? #sweat drop#
Okay, minna-san, that's it. Till next time!
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