CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
"I can't believe that you would actually think that I would hurt you like that," Jack said.
Martha looked at Jack, and she could see the hurt in his eyes. She was ashamed of herself. She couldn't believe that she had let Megan get the better of her.
"When your dad was here, I made a promise to him that I would take care of you, and that I would love you. There is no way that I would break that promise to him," Jack told her.
Martha sighed. "When Megan first told me that you had spent the night with her, I didn't believe her," she started. "But then she just kept saying all this stuff, and the more she said, the more I believed it. I couldn't help it. These last couple of weeks has been really hard, and when she told me that, I just couldn't take it anymore. I believed everything she said. I was stupid. I know that," she explained.
"Why do you keep doing this?" Jack asked.
Martha was confused. "What do you mean?" she wanted to know.
"You keep pushing me away, and I don't know why. It started when your dad died. I've been here trying my hardest, but you keep pushing me away," Jack sighed. "It's gotten to the point where I can't help but think that you're doing it on purpose. It's like you're trying to find an excuse for us to not be together," he said.
"That's not true," Martha cried.
Jack ignored her and kept on talking. "I've told you so many times that I love you; yet, you keep thinking that I don't. Sometimes I think it's the other way around. Maybe you're the one who doesn't love me," he frowned.
"You know that that's not true," Martha said to him. "You know that I love you. Do you really think I'd be this upset if I didn't?"
"Then why do you keep pushing me away?" Jack asked her again.
"I don't know," Martha gasped.
"Come on Martha. Talk to me," Jack pleaded. "Tell me what's going on inside your head," he urged.
"This is stupid," Martha yelled as she tried to stand up.
"No, it's not stupid. Sit back down," Jack ordered as he pulled her back down next to him. "Tell me".
"I've already lost my mum, and now I've lost my dad. Who's going to be next? You?" Martha sobbed. "I can't lose anybody else Jack. It hurts too much. So I've come to the conclusion that if I stay away and don't get close to anyone; then it won't hurt as much when they do eventually leave me. Because let's face it; everyone leaves me eventually," she exclaimed.
Okay, so Jack wasn't expecting it to be this bad. He just thought that she was in a bad mood, or that she was still grieving over her dad. But it was so much more than that.
"You think that everybody is going to leave you? Why is that?" Jack asked her.
"My own mother, my real mother, she didn't even want me. So she just gave me away. And then the mother who actually wanted me, went and died on me," Martha started to cry hard. "My real father is a bastard who could care less about me, and the father who did care also just went and died on me. And now I'm having a baby, whose going to have a mother who's screwed up in the head. Who wants a mother whose nuts? So you see, eventually everybody just leaves," she finished softly.
Jack wondered how long Martha had been keeping this all bottled up inside of her. It seemed like something that had been lingering for quite awhile. Probably ever since her adopted mother had died and she had found out that she was adopted. Jack would never have guessed that Martha had abandonment issues.
"How long have you been feeling like this?" he asked her.
"I don't know. A while," Martha shook her head.
"Maybe you should talk to somebody about it," Jack suggested. "Maybe Racheal, or you could even just talk to Alf," he told her.
"I don't need to talk to anybody. It's stupid," Martha exclaimed.
"This is serious Martha. You shouldn't be feeling like this," Jack tried to talk sense to her.
"See, I'm nuts. And who wants to be with a crazy person?" she laughed.
"I want to be with a crazy person," Jack smiled. "Listen, I'm never going to abandon you. And I'm pretty sure Alf, Ric and Macca wouldn't either. And not to mention all of our friends," he told her.
Martha smiled at him and nodded. But then she started frowning again. "What about Megan? I can't handle her anymore. If she doesn't get out of my face; I'll probably hurt her," she said.
"Don't worry about Megan; I'll handle her," Jack promised.
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"Come on Jack, I was just teasing her," Megan laughed. "It was just a bit of fun".
Jack glared at her. His temper was going into overdrive. "No, you weren't having just a bit of fun. You were trying to cause trouble," he roared at her.
Megan started to walk towards Jack. "What's the real problem here? Because the way I see it; Martha has no right to get upset. The two of you aren't even together, so you should be able to do whatever you want," she smiled flirtatiously up at him.
"No, we aren't together, but I have every intention of getting back with her. So there is no way that I would ever do anything to jeopardize that," Jack snapped.
"Not even just a little roll?" she giggled as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Don't touch me," Jack spat out and pushed her away. "Right now the sight of you is making me sick," he said.
"Geez Jack, no need to get nasty," she snapped back at him.
"I want you to listen to me; stay away from Martha. Don't talk to her, don't even look at her," Jack warned. "Because the next time you cause trouble; I'll be packing your bags and ordering you out of Summer Bay. Got it," he threatened.
"I think you're forgetting that we have a daughter together," Megan smirked at him.
"Don't even bother using her as a means to get what you want. It won't work," Jack shot out. "Now, tomorrow morning I'll be here at nine o'clock to pick Grace up. I'm taking her to the hospital so we can get a paternity test done. If you're not here, then I'll know for sure that she isn't mine," he told her.
And with that Jack walked out; not even bothering to look back.
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