So I'm going to try to post this one final time....please, if anyone has an issue or problem with my story, please, please email me and tell me. Please don't report it and have it taken down again. I know a lot of people are enjoying this, and it's not fair to have it removed.
My email address is on my profile...please use it.
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh...NOT MINE!
Chapter 8
"Set…you either have to let me go – or make me want to stay."
The words burned themselves into Seto's mind. He stared down at the figure he held in his arms, his body frozen and unable to form the words he desperately wanted to say.
Stay with me for all time. Don't you realize that you are my world? That I am nothing without you? Let me hold you for all eternity, and forget that the rest of the world exists.
Jou sighed, dropping his eyes to stare at his hands. "Do you know, Seto, that in all the time we've been together, you've never even told me that you – if you love me?" he said softly, his eyes filled with sadness. "I used to have this hope that one day you would surprise me and tell me you did. Every day, I would hope that maybe, just maybe, today would be the day I would finally catch your heart. That maybe you would open all of yourself to me. That maybe – " his voice caught, and he swallowed hard before continuing in a whisper. "That maybe I was finally good enough for you. Maybe I actually meant something to somebody."
He brushed a shining tear off his cheek. "All my life, I never had anyone," he said, his hands twisting over each other. "My mother left me because I wasn't good enough for her. She took my sister away from me, the only person in my life who loved me for who I was. I haven't seen Shizuka in years. My father hated me because I was a reminder of my mother."
He paused, lifting his head and staring directly into Seto's eyes. " Do you have any idea, Seto, what it's like to live your life in pure misery every day? Before falling asleep each night, wishing that you wouldn't wake up?" he choked out. "There wasn't a night in my life that my father wouldn't beat the living shit out of me, just because he could, because he honestly hated me, hated his own son. Some nights I didn't even get the chance to hope I wouldn't wake up – my father had knocked me out before I could pray. I was dead inside, absolutely dead."
Seto's cerulean eyes clouded with sadness and fierce anger at echo of despair and anguish he could hear in the other boy's voice. "Jou, I – " he began.
Jou cut him off with a wave of his hand. "No," he said. "I have to finish. There's more to be said, Set." Seto nodded.
"I hated myself," Jou continued, staring back down at his lap. "I hated who I was, I hated what others had made me into, but most of all, I hated the fact that in some twisted way, I enjoyed it. I felt like I was nothing, Seto, nothing but useless baggage. But I craved that feeling, sick as it may be, because it was a feeling. It reminded me that I was still human, still alive."
Seto's breath caught in his throat, remembering the comment he had made to Jou yesterday about dragging useless baggage around. I've seen it sometimes, the way he looks at me, his eyes so afraid and wary – God Katsuya, I would carry you to the ends of the earth and back again – if you will forgive me.
Jou smiled wryly, his lower lip trembling. "And then, one day, it changed," he said. "I met someone who I thought at first was like everyone else. Someone who would hurt me, degrade me, but would give me the attention that I had come to need, in whatever form it came. But I soon realized that they were different, that they actually did care for me and didn't think I was a burden, that I deserved to live and love and feel."
He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, tears slipping out the corners. "That person was you, Seto," Jou whispered, his voice breaking slightly. "You brought me back to life, made me experience the world again. I felt like I was living for the first time since I lost my sister. Everything was different. Colors were bright again, I could hear the sound of laughter – laughter, Seto – something I hadn't heard in years. And I began to feel. I could feel the wind, the sun, the grass – everything that had become so dull to me. And every time you touched me, Seto, I felt like a piece of me had been reborn, until you made me whole again. I was human again, Set. You had set me free, my protector, my hero, my dragon. Nothing could hurt me ever again as long as you held me in your arms. And I loved you, love you still."
He was crying harder now, tears splashing onto his black pants. "And that's why I can't stay," he sobbed. "I don't want to let you go, but I can't lose myself to the emptiness again. I'm beginning to forget who I am. I'm becoming afraid of myself, Seto. I don't want to, but I feel like I'm fading away, and I can't allow that to happen again. You brought me to life, Seto, and you can just as easily take it away again. I can't be afraid anymore." He covered his face with his hands, his body shaking with sobs.
Seto's eyes stung with tears. Forgive me, my love. I had no idea. He gently took Jou's hands away from his face, and brushed his thumb across his downy cheek, wiping away the tears. He leaned in and placed a feather soft kiss on Jou's forehead.
"I will always protect you, my angel," he whispered, running his hand through Jou's brilliant hair. "You are an angel, did you know that? A gift from the heavens, sent to grace my life."
He leaned his forehead against Jou's, placing his hands flat on the blonde's cheeks, and closing his eyes. "You see, you're not the only one reborn, angel," he said, his voice cracking with emotion. "What I've done to you, you've done back to me a thousand times over. I was sick until you cured me, hollow until you filled me, a wild animal until you tamed me. I would lay my life at your feet, Jou, and if you turn away from me, then I am dead and will wander, howling like a mindless beast."
He swallowed hard and opening his stormy eyes, looked directly into the honey eyes that watched him carefully. "First love," he whispered softly. "My first heart's love, please, don't betray me.Take what I can give to you and make it part of you. I offer you my life, my love, my arm, my heart. Take them all. Take me, Jou, make me part of your heart, as I have done with you. I love you, Jounouchi Katsuya, and I always will. Never, ever doubt that."
Jou sat motionless, unable to believe the words that were echoing in his head. His lips began to twitch upwards, and with a cry, he threw his arms around Seto's. Burying his face in the taller boy's neck, he began to laugh, tears running down his cheeks with happiness.
Seto helped Jou to his feet, and leaning down, scooped the blonde into his arms, a brilliant smile spread across his face, his sapphire eyes shining with luminous joy. He lowered his head, covering Jou's lips with his own, gently running his tongue over the blonde's soft pink lips. Jou moaned softly and opened his mouth slightly, allowing entry. He sucked gently on the tip of Seto's tongue, reveling in the low, throaty growls coming from the brunette. Seto pulled away breathily, his eyes glowing with a promising hunger. Without another word, he spun with Jou cradled in his arms and walked towards the waiting limo at a quickening pace.
Jou gasped and threw his arms around Seto's neck, holding on tightly. "Set, wait!" he cried. "All my things are still inside the house."
Seto silenced him with a hard kiss. "We'll come back for them later, angel," he said. "You aren't going to need them right now, I can promise you that."
Jou blushed and nuzzled his head into Seto's chest. "Are you sure?" he said cheekily. "After all, your favorite trench is in my bag, you know."
Seto paused by the side of the limo. "So that's where…" he laughed. He put Jou down, opening the car door. "Naughty puppy," he scolded, sliding onto the seat beside the grinning blonde, his eyes darkening with desire. "You'll have to pay the penalty for taking my things…."
--
A/N: Ok, what did you guys seriously think? I think it turned out ok, but what do I know LOL! So things are happier now that the bishies are back together…but honestly, knowing how I write, do you seriously think they're going to stay happy? Heeheeehee!!! Oh, I kind of borrowed part of Seto's speech from Kathleen Woodiwiss, "The Wolf and the Dove." It was such a beautiful scene, I just had to use it! So please R&R!!