CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

Martha decided not to spend the night at Jack's; she wanted some time alone so that she could think about Jack's offer. She was feeling confused and quite frustrated. She knew that Jack would be upset if she said no; but this wasn't about him. It was about her, and if she was ready to move in or not.

Martha walked into the apartment; Macca was sitting on the couch watching TV. "Hey," Martha said as she sat down next to him. "Where's grandad and Auntie Morag?" she asked.

"They've gone to Noah's for a few drinks," Macca answered.

"Kay," Martha sighed loudly.

Noticing the sigh; Macca turned to face her. "What's wrong bug? You seem tense," he pointed out.

Martha was silent for a few moments, before sighing again. "Jack asked me to move in with him," she exclaimed.

"Really?" Macca said. "What are you going to do," he asked.

"I don't know," Martha shrugged.

"Well, you love him, and you're having a baby, so why not move in. You're going to eventually," Macca said to her.

"Yeah, I know that. But I don't know if I should yet. It's complicated," Martha said.

"Complicated," Macca stated.

"I haven't told anybody this, not even Jack or grandad, but over the last few weeks I've been speaking with a psychiatrist," Martha told him.

"A psychiatrist?" Macca laughed. "What on earth for?" he asked.

"Ever since mum died and I found out that I was adopted, I've been having these feelings. I felt that everybody was going to leave me, or that they wouldn't want me. It only got worse when my real father rejected me, and now dad's gone," Martha started to explain to him. "And then of course there was Megan, and I even thought that Jack would leave me for good," she cried.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Macca gave her a hug.

"I guess I didn't want to look like an idiot," Martha told him.

"You wouldn't have," Macca exclaimed.

Martha smiled. "I'm actually quite glad that I decided to talk with a psychiatrist. It's really helping, and I feel so much better about myself," she said.

"That's great," Macca smiled back.

"I've got about four sessions left; and I think that I should wait until they're finished before I move into Jack's," Martha said.

"It's your choice; just remember that," Macca told her.

"Jack's already told me that he won't push it. I just hope that he's not too upset," Martha sighed.

"He loves you, so I'm sure he'll be fine," Macca said.

Martha nodded and then stood up. "I'm pretty tired, so I might just hit the sack," she told Macca.

"Night," Macca called as she walked off to her room.

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THE NEXT DAY

"Hello," Martha called out as she walked into Jack's house.

"Hey," Jack walked out from his room and gave Martha a quick kiss on the lips. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Well, I've been thinking about what you asked me last night, and I've come to a decision," Martha said.

"Already?" Jack exclaimed.

"Yep," Martha nodded. "And I've decided that I should wait a bit longer," she answered.

"Oh," Jack frowned.

"Please don't be upset; I just think we should put it off for a bit," Martha told him.

Martha had decided not to tell Jack about her sessions with the psychiatrist. She'd probably tell him one day; but for the time being, she would keep it to herself.

"I'm not upset. I just really thought that you were going to say yes," Jack sighed.

"I'll make a deal with you," Martha started to smile. "Ask me again in a month, and I'll probably say yes," she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Jack smiled back at her. "Okay," he nodded.

"Good. I'm glad you're not angry," Martha said.

"I couldn't get angry with you," Jack smirked, and pulled her in for a deep kiss.

"Mmhhmm," Martha smiled against his lips.

"What was that?" Jack laughed.

"I said that I love you," Martha kissed him again.

"Oh, in that case; I love you too," Jack grinned.

"Good, now take your pregnant girlfriend for a walk," Martha laughed as she pulled him towards the front door.

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It was late afternoon and Martha had just arrived back at the apartment. Jack had to go to work, so Martha didn't really have anything else to do. When she entered, Macca was sitting at the bench eating a sandwich.

"Hey bug," Macca called with a mouthful of food.

"Hey," Martha said back, as she snatched the sandwich from Macca's hand and took a big bite. "You make good sandwiches," she mumbled.

"Hey, that's mine," Macca whined.

"Sorry," Martha pouted and handed it back to him. "Can you make me one?" she then put on her puppy dog face.

Macca groaned and walked into the kitchen; shoveling the rest of his food into his mouth. Macca quickly made Martha her own sandwich and then sat down with her.

"I need to tell you something," he said to Martha.

"What is it?" she asked.

Macca took a deep breath. "I've decided that it's time for me to go back to the farm," he told her.

"What?" Martha looked at him in shock. "Why? Don't you like it here?" she fired off.

"I love it here. But me being here was never a permanent thing. The boys really need me back at the farm," Macca said. "I've been here for nearly two months. They're struggling a little, and they need me. Surely you can understand that," he explained.

"I do," Martha started to get upset. "But I don't want you to go. I need you. I'm not ready to see you leave yet," she cried.

"Martha, please don't get upset," Macca pleaded.

"No, I should be allowed to get upset," Martha snapped. "I don't want you to go, and that's that," she ordered.

Bug…..," Macca tried to reason.

"Just shut up," Martha snapped again. "If you want to go, if you want to leave me here by myself, then go. I don't friggin care," she spun on her heels and walked out of the apartment; slamming the door behind her.

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