Itachi's Bad Hair Day.

'Kuso… stay up damn it!'

Uchiha Itachi, one of the strongest men in the world, second most powerful man in the feared organization Akatsuki, couldn't seem to get his hair right. Usually his locks of jet black hair fell in the perfect Uchiha form. Today, however, it was limp and lacked its usual luster. It looked more like the hair of Maito Gai, but without the shine and a lot longer… And it seemed that no amount of hair care products could manage to conform it to its usual style.

"Kuso…" he said softly.

Kisame, Itachi's usual partner in crime, slammed open the door to the small bathroom that the two shared in their small apartment given to them in the Akatsuki base.

"Damn it, Itachi, quit playing with your hair and go to your meeting with the Leader. He's waiting." His voice dropped from it's almost shout to a grumbling undertone "Geeze, he's worse than a girl…"

"I heard that, shark skinned bastard."

"Shut up and get going. Geeze, if I didn't know better, I'd thing you were a girl. You certainly squealed like one last night…"

"SHUT UP!"

"Ok, ok, geeze. Just get your ass in gear. You know how irritable Leader can be in the morning…"

"Ok fine…"

Itachi walked out of the bathroom to grab his black cloak with the red cloud pattern on it from the floor, where it had been tossed unceremoniously last night before jumping (quite literally) into bed with Kisame. Down time sure was fun… He shook his head to clear away thoughts of his 'partner' for the last few years. Calming himself, he strapped on his cloak and strode down the nearly empty hallway on the way to the Throne Room.

He finally reached his destination, only five minutes late.

"Itachi… you're late…" said the nearly imperceptible voice.

"Yes, I had… business to take care of."

"No matter. I called you here for a solo mission."

Itachi mentally cursed, knowing it would mean less down time.

"I need you to investigate a rumor that has been floating around for quite some time. It has recently come to my attention that the Kyuubi no Kitsune had ascended after the fight with the Yondaime and was never really sealed into its container. I need you to travel to Konoha to confirm or disprove this rumor. You have two weeks to finish your mission. I suggest you wear something other than our… preferred garments…"

"Hai"

"Be gone by noon"

"Hai"

And with that, Itachi did the famous Uchiha Brooding Walk no jutsu all the way back to his rooms. Finally, after packing all three of his outfits that weren't black with red clouds, he bid farewell to Kisame and walked to the exit of their lair.

As he approached the guards to get them to open the gates to the world, one stopped him.

"I need to see your papers, Itachi-sama.'

Itachi held them out to the man, wondering why they were on the verge of bursting into laughter.

"Everything is in order."

Itachi turned to exit the base when another of the guards stopped him.

"Ano… Excuse me, Itachi-sama, but you have something on your chin…"

Itachi wiped his hand over his chin, indeed feeling something on it. He pulled it away and flushed in embarrassment at the sticky opalescent liquid as he quickly wiped it off with a handkerchief. By now, the guards had fallen on their asses with laughter as Itachi turned a red that would rival Hinata, although he didn't know this at the time.

"Thank you." He said with barely contained rage in his voice. He was pondering what sort of punishment he should dish out to the guards via Mangekyou Sharingan, but before he could decide, the gates were open and he was on his way.

Itachi finally made it to within sight of the gates of Konoha. Not wanting to risk getting caught, he used a Genjutsu to hide his chakra and make himself invisible to the naked eye. He turned himself into a rock and waited for a wagon to pass over him on its way to Konoha. When one finally came, he stuck himself to the bottom of it with chakra and waited for it to enter…

Two hours later, he was wandering the streets, looking for the entire world to be a normal civilian. Unfortunately for him, he just happened to be standing in the road of a stampede… of girls. As Uchiha Sasuke danced his way through the crowd, most of them parted to the side to avoid being run over. Itachi, unaware of the dangers of rabid fan girls, just stood there as Sasuke darted around him, unaware he was dodging out of the way of his hated brother. Itachi turned around just in time to see several very rabid girls send him flying with a combination of punches and kicks, pissed that anyone could get in between them and their beloved Sasuke…

Itachi could only think one thing as he flew through the air. 'I feel so sorry for you, brother.'

As fate would have it, when he finally crash landed and skidded to a stop, he had managed to land in the middle of one of the few candy stores in Konoha. Shaking his head and slowly standing, he checked himself for injuries. The worst was a bruise on his cheek and his shredded pride.

"Welcome!"

Itachi looked up into the nicely plump woman who stood at the counter. He nodded and proceeded to look around the store, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention. His eyes fell on a strangely small cardboard box, its bright red background featuring white letters that read 'Pocky' and a picture of a chocolate dipped wafer stick. Curious, Itachi picked up the box, not knowing that this act would change his life forever…

He went to the register and bought the box, casually opening it and trying one of the sticks. He instantly fainted.

Waking up, he looked at the box in his hands. 'Surely, I have found my purpose in life! I shall eat this sweet ambrosia of the gods!' Needless to say, he was instantly addicted.

Walking out of the candy store, he was a rather strange sight to behold. Each and every pocket he had, as well as his back pack, was full to the brim of various flavors of Pocky, even some of the less popular ones. He had the usual chocolate and strawberry, but he also had a rare pina colada, the rapidly becoming popular mango, and even an extra special ultra hot cinnamon.

Itachi slowly wandered through the streets, munching box after box of his adored bonbon.

Suddenly, a strange scene caught his eyes. Two people who looked like exact clones of each other, save for height, build, and one flak jacket, stood in the middle of the street. They were wearing hideously green spandex suits that conformed to every curve of their bodies. Also, they had burnt umber… things around their ankles. Their bowl cuts were a crime of fashion, but nothing could have prepared Itachi for what he saw next. Above their eyes were two… things. They were thick, hairy, and twitched every once in a while, even if the owners of the faces they resided on where completely still.

Curiosity took over as Itachi walked forwards, chewing another stick of double fudge chocolate Pocky. The taller of the strange duo stopped hugging his shorter clone to stare at the strange man who approached him. Itachi carefully extended a finger, slowly moving it closer and closer to the man's face. He poked the apparently incredibly fuzzy eyebrows. A mouth randomly formed from the hair and attempted to bite Itachi's finger off. Incredibly, Uchiha Itachi, one of the most feared people in the world, screamed like a little girl and dropped where he stood, utterly unconscious.

Itachi slowly opened his eyes, blinking them to adjust to the noon time sun that shone down into his face. He slowly sat up to see himself in one of Konoha's many training grounds. The green clad duo stood in front of the training stumps, alternately hitting or kicking them. They seemed to notice Itachi's wakening.

"Gai-sensei, the flames of youth burn brightly in this one! The last person who fainted in front of us was out for weeks!"

"Indeed, my beloved and cute pupil! We shall celebrate his Springtime of Youth with a manly embrace!"

"YOSH, GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI"

"LEE!"

"GAI SENSEI"

"LEE"

Itachi just stood there, staring as a setting sun shone behind the walking fashion disasters as they 'manly embraced' while crying into each other's shoulders. Putting his hands together in the Kai seal, he let the small Genjutsu disrupting technique do its magic. Nothing happened. The sunset stayed, the waves continued to crash, and the rocks underneath the two were still as hard as usual.

Itachi was spellbound. He couldn't believe the incredible amount of skill that was put into this Genjutsu! He activated his Sharingan, with a small Genjutsu of his own to hide the changing eye colors. Nothing. The Sharingan told him that there wasn't a Genjutsu there, and the scene was real. How in the world they could have summoned a seaside sunset scene at noon in the middle of a continent, no one could ever know… but Itachi was determined to find out. He pulled out a notebook and sat there, scribbling down notes left and right, describing each scene as it came to play with as much detail as he could.

For the rest of the day, Itachi followed the duo around town, even as they ran laps around Konoha on their hands. By the end of the day, his notebook was full, his Pocky was gone, and his wallet was itching to go buy more of his heavenly snack. So, after one last trip to the candy store, he found a nice tree to sleep in, and started drifting off. The last thing he though was 'Somehow, I get the feeling I'm forgetting something…'

Halo here. I though up this little story a while back, and decided to put it in as filler because I'm currently suffering writer's block. I even posted a one shot, hoping it would help, but so far, I have zilch. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed the silliness, although I'm not a very good comedy writer. It's a nice break from the action/adventure, but it's still only filler. If you guys like it, I'll be putting little one page episodes at the bottom of each chapter. But, that's only if you guys want, this was just to get some stuff off my mind. Anyways, school starts tomorrow for me, YAY FOR SENIORS! My last year of high school. Finally. Now, if I could only find my calculator…. Meh, oh well. Laters!