Now, as the last poem was a parody of Lewis Carrol's "Jabberwocky," I considered it appropriate to add this parody of his "The Walrus and the Carpenter" as a second chapter instead of creating a new upload. This poem is completely unrelated to the previous one, though. And if you're wondering why on earth I would write about there being a siren and a giant squid living in Erik's lake… well it goes back to the Morbidity Writing Contests I hosted on the phantomfans message boards. There was a very long running joke there about a giant squid living in Lake Averne, shipwrecking and eating (and doing various other things to) those that dared to cross its waters, and so I wrote this poem as an idea if the squid teamed up with the Siren (based on the common spin-off idea that the Siren isn't Erik himself and is actually some kind of mythological Siren). If you keep your eyes open or check out the contest websites I have linked, you will absolutely find a handful of other giant-squid-in-Erik's-lake phics floating about, and I highly recommend each and every one of them! Just keep in mind that this is entirely meant to be silly fun that was designed purely to amuse the Morbidity Contest participants! Hope you enjoy!
--The Scorpion, aka the Siren of Averne
The Siren and The Giant Squid
The fog was wafting on the lake,
Billowing with all its strength:
It did its very best to make
The caverns dark and dank--
And this was right, because it was
The Phantom's lakeside bank.
The light was shining eerily,
Rather dim and blue.
Because in caves below the earth
That's what eerie blue lights do--
And with that light, the fog, and lake
The ambiance just grew.
The lake was dark as dark could be,
The stones were slick with mold.
You could even see you breath, because
The air was just that cold:
No one dared to come down there--
There was no one so bold.
The Siren and the Giant Squid
Were floating there that night;
They wept like anything to see
No meal for them in sight:
"If there were only a Mary Sue,"
They said, "we'd seize with all our might!"
"If seven maids or seven waifs
Found their way down here.
Do you suppose," the Siren said,
"That we'd be filled up for a year?"
"I doubt it," said the Giant Squid,
And shed a bitter tear.
"Oh! Boaters! Come and swim with us!"
The Siren did beseech.
"A pleasant dip, a pleasant trip,
Beyond the murky beach:
We cannot do with more than twelve,
To give a hand to each."
The wise Erik looked at her,
But never a word he said:
The knowing Phantom blinked his eyes,
And shook his mask-ed head--
Meaning to say he did not choose
To join the early-dead.
But the fair young Maid dived right in,
Quite eager for a try:
Her hair was blonde, her eyes were blue,
Her clothes were flung aside--
And this was odd, because, you know,
Christine was always shy.
The surprised Phantom followed her,
Despite her discarded gown;
But the Squid had snared them both
And dragged them deeply down--
All splashing through the murky lake,
With no fear that they might drown.
The Siren and the Giant Squid
Swam down a league or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And both the Phantom and the Maid
Requested they be let go.
"The time has come," the Siren sang,
"To sing of many things:
Of rocks--and ships--and lightning-storms--
Of dead princes--and kings--
And why we are not in the sea--
And whether squids have wings."
"But wait a bit," the Maiden cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For I for one am out of breath,
And you have squeezed us flat!"
"No hurry!" said the Giant Squid.
They thanked him much for that.
"A beaky maw," the Siren said,
"Is what Squids chiefly need:
A knife and fork are what I use
And very good indeed--
Now if you're ready, Maiden dear,
We can begin to feed."
"But not on us!" the Phantom cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such a song, that would be
A morbid thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Siren said.
"Do you admire the view?
"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very sweet!"
The Giant Squid said nothing but
"Chomp off a bit more meat:
I wish you were not quite so swift--
I'd like to try the feet!"
"It seems no shame," the Siren said,
"To pluck them from their lives,
After we've brought them down so far,
And sharpened all our knives!"
The Giant Squid said nothing but
"This Ghost could use some chives!"
"I weep for you," the Siren said:
"I deeply feel your pain."
With sobs and tears she sorted out
Bones from fat from brain,
Waving strands of floating hair from
Where the meal was lain.
"O Maiden," said the Giant Squid,
"You've had a pleasant dip!
Dear Phantom, shall we say good-bye?"
But answer, there came zip--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every bit.