Chapter Five

Sam was so irritated that she had every intention of giving chase and haunting the shit out of her friends until they admitted they could see her. Hell, she knew half the base would admit to seeing her once the general caught wind of the mess she'd made of the mess. She shrugged to herself and decided that was why they called it the mess in the first place.

But before she could take a step after them, she felt herself drifting. The room faded away, immediately being replaced by the horrid beige-ness of the not-DMV. At least she wasn't at the back of a long line. She was right at the counter, facing a tiny little man. His petite height only served to draw more attention to his receding hairline. The thick mustache he sported was ridiculous. Sam wanted to tell him he'd be better off trimming the mustache and transplanting it to his head, but she remembered that the people behind the counter at the DMV had all the power and wisely held her tongue.

Ken, as his nametag told her, glanced at her with a frown as he looked at something on his computer. "You're trying haunting, Miss Carter?"

Sam nodded. She was extremely unhappy with it for the moment, but she wasn't about to admit it, lest it get back to Marge.

He turned away from the computer. "And how is that going for you?"

Sam looked at the tomato sauce staining her hands from the plates of spaghetti she'd tossed around at the base and stuffed her hands into her pockets. "It's going well." She was afraid to complain for fear they wouldn't let her haunt anymore - especially if they caught wind of her redecorating the mess. As irritating as it was to be ignored by her friends, it was still a step above the ever-loving lines in heaven.

"Good for you." Ken smiled a smile that told Sam he knew exactly how well the haunting was going despite her lie. His voice was just as nasal as Marge's, which was more discomforting since he was a man. Thinking of how very unpleasant his voice was made her think about how very pleasant Jack's voice was and so, rather than answer, Sam simply stared at the space just above Ken's left shoulder with a dumb smile on her face. Ken was used to unhappy people and therefore, it took him quite a long time to regroup when he faced Sam's apparent happiness. "Miss Carter, I have here an invitation to join the very exclusive soul mate line." He handed over a small index card. "Now, you need to hold onto that card because you may be asked for it at any time while you're occupying space in that line."

"If I'm a disembodied soul, am I really occupying space anywhere?" If she had to annoy her way through to Daniel, she thought she should start practicing being horribly annoying.

Again, Sam's behavior threw him and he blinked at her while his brain rebooted. "You may join the line at any time."

"Will my place in line affect the length of time my soul mate lives?" Sam thought it would be useful to know. She didn't want to be responsible for Jack's death because she got in line early or something and she'd always been told that not knowing was no excuse.

"Of course not. Deaths are predetermined when a soul enters a body, unless there's a mistake." Ken seemed rather uncomfortable, probably because he was talking to someone who'd been the unfortunate victim of such a mistake.

Sam nodded, still bitter about the wrong form thing that had caused her predicament. She wanted to raise hell over it, but she knew that would only result in her wasting more time that she could be spending getting through to her boys. "Mistakes which I understand are extremely rare."

Ken swallowed hard. "The line is right over there."

"If I don't get in line, will it change anything at all?" She didn't want to lose eternity with Jack for a stupid reason anymore than she wanted eternity with Jack to start any earlier than necessary. Not that she didn't want to be with him - no, it was that she didn't want him to die, not even if she was already dead.

"No, but did I mention that it's a very exclusive line?"

"Can I go back to haunting now?"

Ken's eyes widened. "You want to go back?"

Sam nodded. "As long as it won't affect my reunion with Jack when the appropriate time comes, then yes, I absolutely want to go back."

Ken's eyes widened a little further. "You want to go back?"

Sam nodded again. "Yes. But only if I still get forever with Jack."

Ken nodded slowly. "Yes, of course, even case workers can't change soul mate status. Once you've got one, you've got one forever."

Sam turned the index card invitation over in her hand. "So if that's the case, it doesn't really matter if I have my invitation, now does it?"

Ken was discombobulated. "Well, no, not really. But you'll need it if you want to stand in line."

"So, the haunting?"

"You really like it?"

Sam smiled. "I'm on a mission here, Ken." She didn't feel the need to point out that she saw no use in standing there waiting for Jack to die when she could spend the rest of his life with him, provided, of course, she got him to see her.

Ken shrugged, seeming rather relieved to be getting rid of her. "Whatever you say, Miss."

And then she was back at the SGC. She didn't know how much time had passed since her little tantrum. She didn't know where anyone was. She closed her eyes and thought of Daniel. As much as Teal'c truly seemed to be more aware of her, Sam knew Daniel would be the first of the two to crack.

When she opened her eyes, she was in the briefing room. General Hammond sat at the head of the table, his lips set in a straight, thin, unhappy line. Sam shuttered at the thought of him mad and was actually glad for the moment that she was already dead if only because that meant he couldn't kill her. She knew it was probably in her head, but she decided he also looked a little sad, and she decided it was because he missed her.

Jack was there too, still acting like holding up his head required more energy than he possessed. His eyes kept slipping closed. He seemed to need the sleep, as exhausted and emaciated as he was looking. Sam thought his stupor might make him a little more susceptible to her presence and she moved next to him. Kneeling down, she gently touched his arm. He moved away, but she couldn't be sure it had anything to do with her touch, since he appeared to have nodded off to sleep. She did, however, notice the overpowering stench of alcohol emanating from him. Recoiling, she looked around in horror. Something had to be very wrong for Jack to be sleeping through a meeting, tanked, and have no one care.

The general's unhappy glare shifted to Jack and the older man only shook his head almost imperceptibly. Hammond wasn't that far away from him; there was no way he had missed Jack's intoxication. The general turned his attention back to Daniel, who had been talking since before Sam got there.

Sam looked at Teal'c who was sitting on Jack's other side. "Teal'c, what the hell is going on? Do something!"

Teal'c turned his eyes to the paper in front of him.

"Teal'c! Facing a court martial will not help Jack out any."

Teal'c glared at her and reached out reluctantly, tapping Jack's chair.

"Carter?" Jack's eyes opened a second after his mouth and he turned a little in his chair to look around. Sam was elated, until his eyes passed right through her. He swallowed hard and his face immediately shifted back to the scowl he'd been wearing since she'd died. He winced and dropped his face into his hands. "Sorry. I thought she was here for a moment."

Sam glared at Teal'c. "You know, if you admitted that you see me and hear me, it might go a long way toward getting Jack to see me and hear me which would relieve you of babysitting duty."

Teal'c didn't respond, but Sam saw him face Daniel Jackson with a raised eyebrow. She could see the silent challenge pass between them. Daniel paused in his speech for a moment, but he didn't break. Teal'c turned his chair a bit to the right, keeping Sam out of his line of sight.

"Colonel O'Neill, I do expect you to be sober when you return from leave, is that clear?" General Hammond's stern words reassured Sam because it meant that they were just trying to keep an eye on Jack, probably to keep him from being alone, probably because they were all afraid of what he might do alone. At least he wasn't drunk at work. Sam shook her head. Technically, he was drunk at work, he just wasn't working. Somehow, it didn't really seem better anymore so she decided not to think about it.

Jack looked up after a moment and winced. "What?"

Unlike the last time she'd seen him, at least Jack was responding. Sort of. Again, she wasn't sure being drunk and acknowledging his CO was better than being sober and not acknowledging anything. Sam sighed and walked around to Daniel's side. "Daniel, you can't possibly continue this lecture with me talking."

Daniel's words tumbled over each other for a second and he stopped, taking a drink of water mid-sentence as he pretended he'd meant to take a break right then. He cleared his throat and started the sentence again. He was holding up a paper and demonstrating something, pointing with his pen. Sam took a deep breath, thought about her case worker's stupidity, and flicked at the paper with her finger just when the rage filled her. The paper flopped forward in Daniel's hand.

Unperturbed, he straightened it back out and started anew. Sam chuckled and did it again, flicking at his pen instead. The pen flipped right out of his hand and Daniel jumped slightly in shock. If the general noticed, he didn't say anything. Teal'c was no longer looking at Daniel, instead he stared at his hands folded on the table in front of him. Jack shifted around in his chair, completely oblivious to everything since he'd closed his eyes once again.

Daniel sighed and bent down to retrieve his pen. When he stood up, Sam could see from the set of his jaw that he was not giving in just yet. He'd been locked up in the psych ward before, Sam recalled, and she was pretty sure that not wanting to repeat that event was his motivation for steadfastly ignoring her. But Sam was never one to give up and Daniel had always been one to get flustered, so she knew he would be an easy mark. Especially in such a public setting.

Daniel's fingers were tight on the pen and he continued without the aid of the paper. Sam wasn't deterred. She moved behind him, leaning over his shoulder until her lips were right by his ear. He was still talking and she wasn't sure he was aware of her at that moment.

"Daniel!"

"Augh!"

Sam giggled as Daniel jumped straight up in the air. Teal'c turned to look, the slightest hint of a smirk on his face. General Hammond looked concerned and slightly guilty, making Sam think he hadn't really been listening until Daniel screamed. Jack jerked awake again, his eyes searching the room wildly. He looked disappointed again and rested back in his chair and closed his eyes.

Daniel cleared his throat and shuffled the papers he wasn't looking at, trying to get a grip on himself. Sam put her hand on the papers, watching with pleasure when Daniel stopped moving them and instead stared at where her hand was resting.

"Daniel, it will be so much easier on all of us if you accept that I'm here and start working with Teal'c to get Jack to see me." She watched as Daniel's eyes darted to Teal'c. The men regarded each other warily, but again, neither said anything. "He can see me too, Daniel. And hear me. It's not just you."

Daniel's eyes squeezed closed and she heard him whisper so softly she could barely make out the words. "Sam is not really here. Whatever this is, it's not Sam."

Sam felt guilty when she realized what he was thinking. He wasn't ignoring her. He just didn't think it was her. She'd been going about getting his attention in a very un-Sam-like manner. She'd been pushy and demanding and arrogant without even realizing it, which very easily convinced Daniel that if he was seeing a spirit, it wasn't Samantha Carter. Sam had always been quiet and reserved and well-behaved. Sam moved her hand off the papers and stood back, seeing the relief on Daniel's face when he opened his eyes to see nothing but his papers.

Sam flopped down in the chair across from Jack, wondering what else she could do. If she played nice and followed the rules to convince Daniel that it was really her, she'd never get anywhere. And if she really followed the rules, she'd be standing in that great motor vehicle line in the sky waiting for Jack to die. "The hell with that!"

She jumped up, her sudden movement sending the chair flying out from the table. She watched as Daniel pretended not to see it. She watched as Teal'c pretended not to see it. She watched as Hammond obviously noticed it, observed the faces of Daniel and Teal'c, and promptly pretended he hadn't seen it either.

She approached Daniel and stared him down. "Good girls go to heaven, Daniel. Bad girls get to stay with Jack."

Daniel's eyes widened a bit as he sat down in his chair. "General, I'm not feeling so good."

Teal'c chimed in, eager to escape the situation. "Perhaps we should reschedule this meeting. I too am feeling unwell."

The general looked at Teal'c incredulously. "Teal'c, you don't have to cover for him. Dr. Jackson, I want you to report to the infirmary right now and submit yourself for a drug screening."

Sam started laughing.

Daniel wasn't amused. "I'm feeling much better now, sir."

Teal'c's shoulders slumped. "I am not."

Sam could fairly see Daniel's resolve cracking. She cleared her throat and started to sing. "Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall." Sam paused for a moment and glanced at Jack. "Unless of course Jack got there first. Then there wouldn't be any beer left, would there?" She grinned and went back to her song. "Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of beer, take one down, pass-"

"Stop!" Daniel pressed his hands over his ears. "Stop it! Just leave me alone!"

Sam kept right on going, noting that her off-key, tone-deaf voice would finally serve her well since Teal'c appeared to be having some sort of seizure in his chair.

But rather than the general suddenly realizing that she was there, he instead continued with his appraisal that Daniel was taking hallucinogens. He called for security, demanding that they take Daniel to the infirmary and secure him there.