Chapter 10
AN: Nice looooooong one for you guys here. Funny, I got sort of stuck halfway through this, so I basically tied myself down and forced the writing out, and it just flowed. It's like using Drain-O. Or a laxative. Haha. Sorry for the mental image there.
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The next few days in Other-Hell went much the same as before. Jack kept to himself, having no desire to speak to anybody. Instead, he devoted his efforts to trying to find a way out- efforts that had thus far been in vain. Kate had started more than once upon hearing Jack take a swing at the door with his fists and giving a loud, hoarse cry of anguish. Alex came by once, tight lipped and looking anxious, to take some of Kate's blood and then spirited away again.
Kate had floated around, feeling like a piece of tumbleweed; dead, dusty, and tumbling around as the wind would have it. She had retreated into a shell, some part of her realizing the utter hopelessness of their situation and letting the fighter in her take a backseat to it. She and Sawyer hadn't had sex since that first time- and it wasn't that she didn't want to, or want him, but she didn't feel up to anything, and for once, he didn't bother her about it.
No, Sawyer just sat back and watched helplessly as the two of them fell apart, slowly pulling his sanity down the drain with them. How long would it be before they found the old razorblades in the bathroom and did something very, very stupid. Sawyer blanched immediately at these thoughts, shaking his head and trying not to think about things like that. And yet, part of him wondered if he should hide the razors somewhere else… trouble was, he wasn't sure if that was because he didn't want Jack or Kate to get to them, or whether he wanted them all for himself.
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"Claire," a deep male voice said.
Claire turned around, holding Aaron. "Oh, hello," she smiled good-naturedly. "What can I do for you, Mr. Eko?" Claire said, pulling the little blue slipper she had knit Aaron from his mouth as he gurgled contentedly.
"I heard that you and the French woman found another hatch, when you thought that Aaron was sick. I would like you to tell me how to get there," he said, sounding direct, yet slow, deliberate and kind at the same time.
"Oh." Claire nodded, realizing this was about the three castaways who were currently missing in action. "Yes, of course I'll tell you. Why do you want to go there?"
"I wish to investigate it. It may help us learn more about those people, so that we can rescue your friends."
Claire felt badly for Kate and Jack- Kate had helped her so much with the baby and having Jack around had done wonders for her sanity as she became more comfortable with being a mum and learning not to worry so much when the baby got sick. "If there's anything else I can do, Mr. Eko, you'll let me know?"
Eko nodded once. "Telling me where the medical hatch is will be more than enough. I only wish that you and your baby stay safe."
Claire smiled weakly, looking down at Aaron again. "We will," she said, sounding more sure than she felt.
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Pickett gulped, pulling his report from the old typewriter and setting it neatly inside a folder. Henry was not going to be happy.
He had just finished his weekly review of the surveillance camera footage, though it was certainly not promising, the footage had been quite interesting; an emotional reunion, a drunken argument, followed by days of mostly nothing. And not to mention the extremely steamy sex scene that had ensued shortly after the captives' arrival in their new quarters.
That was certainly going to get him in a lot of hot water.
Pickett was the head of the extremely small and limited psychology team here on the island. He had been the one to suggest the three of them stay together, for a while anyways, as Kate discovered her pregnancy. To give her memory suppressants too early in the pregnancy could result in a miscarriage- and that was the absolute last thing they needed. But now, there was the very excellent possibility that their first experiment hadn't worked properly, and the baby was Sawyer's- for the insemination and the, well, sex, had happened very close to each other, and their was no guarantee that the former had worked. Alex had taken blood from Kate and confirmed that she was indeed pregnant, and by the tenth week or so they would be able to do a prenatal paternity test. If it wasn't Jack's- well, then, the nicest way of saying it would be "trying again."
Pickett stood, sheaf of papers in hand and made his way to Henry's office. He was in so much shit if it wasn't the doctor's kid.
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"Y'all good with some Dharma sloppy joes for dinner?" Sawyer mused, inspecting a can of what (hopefully) contained meat.
"Kate's a vegetarian," Jack said, eyebrows raised.
Sawyer scowled. "She wasn't a vegetarian the other day when she was eatin' that spam sandwich."
Kate rolled her eyes. "It's fine. I don't think Dharma caters to vegetarians."
"Ah, I see," Sawyer said, smiling, "you're one of those vegetarians who breaks down every so often and eats a double cheeseburger."
Kate laughed and nodded guiltily. "You got me all figured out, Sawyer."
Sawyer felt his chest swell just a little with pride. Kate had been so down and out for the last few days; it felt good to make her smile. "Well, it ain' exactly Chef Boyardee, but one sloppy joe coming right up. And yeah, one for you too Jackass, 'cause I'm in a good mood."
"Thanks, Sawyer," Jack said sarcastically.
Using the ever-useful can opener, Sawyer opened up the joes and set the can on the heating range. Noting Kate's dubious look, he said, "Well, you see a microwave anywhere Freckles?"
Kate held up her hands in defense. "Carry on. You are the master chef of course."
Sawyer considered his new title for a moment, and then shrugged. "Master chef's gotta take a whiz," Sawyer said, sprinting off towards the bathroom.
Kate and Jack sat in silence for a moment, wrinkling their noses as the scent of preservatives began to waft across the room.
"Kate," Jack said suddenly, "I know you probably don't care, but I- I- I'm sorry about the things I said. Sawyer's right. I'm an asshole."
Kate didn't say anything for a moment, but then all of a sudden cracked a smile. "Yeah," she said, smiling wider, "yeah, you are, Jack."
Jack nodded, smiling weakly, wondering if Kate was about to have a mental breakdown or something.
"Jack. I don't care. I just-" she paused to rub her eyes, the words having trouble making it from her brain to her mouth. "I don't care. I can't hate you. It's too much of a drain. I want to hate you, but I can't. Let's just… worry about staying alive and getting out of here, ok? I can't deal with anymore emotional bullshit."
"Ok. That's- that's good. And I promise I won't drink the whole bottle of vodka without sharing next time."
Kate smiled. "You better not, Jack Shephard."
At that moment, Sawyer sauntered out of the bathroom, stopping and surveying the scene before him suspiciously. He raised one eyebrow. "You two gotten at the vodka again?"
"It's alright, Sawyer," Kate said, getting up and giving Sawyer a chaste kiss, "Jack and I are good now."
Sawyer scowled and rounded on Jack, his light mood suddenly gone. "If you say another goddamned nasty thing to-"
"Sawyer," Kate said gently, locking gaze with him.
"What?" he said, sounding disgruntled.
"Your sloppy joes are burning."
Kate couldn't help but crack a smile as Sawyer let out a "Son of a bitch!" and ran for the stove.
Dinner was a much happier affair than it had been for the last few days. Jack and Kate talked and laughed freely, though they were both making an effort not to talk about anything too serious. Sawyer didn't say much, just ate and scowled as Kate sent the occasional annoyed glance at him for being the dark cloud over the dinner table.
Sawyer didn't care. He knew he was being as unreasonable as the doc had been… and Sawyer was not prone to feeling any emotions strongly, other than love, hate, and jealousy. There was no grey area in between- just those categories and complete and utter lack of caring. Kate, well, that was love, as strange as it was to admit. He never thought he'd care about anyone that way after losing Cassidy- but here they were. And for the moment, thoughts of Jack came with a subtle, burning rage. All the had done was make up, for God's sake, but it bothered him, because, yeah, he'd never admit it to anyone but he was extremely jealous of Jack. 'Cause Jack was a good guy, and the good guys always save the day and get the girl. It was sloppy seconds for Sawyer.
Just then the door burst open. An armed guard crossed the room in three long strides and grabbed Sawyer. Not in the mood for witty repartee, Pickett put his handgun to Sawyer's head and dragged him backwards out of the room. Sawyer saw Kate turn white as a sheet and scream, going for him until Jack caught her by the wrist.
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Earlier
"I told you we should have separated them!" Henry yelled angrily, slamming his fist on the shaky metal table.
Pickett cowered. "We have to keep her happy, Henry, or she might try and do something to lose the baby!"
"You had better goddamn hope that that baby is Shephard's," Henry said, voice deadly quiet, "or you will be punished."
"But sir," Pickett said desperately, "I didn't know that they would-"
"It's what people do, Pickett," Henry said icily. "You can't just stick two men and woman in a tiny room for an extended period and except them to keep their hands to themselves!"
Pickett seethed. It was not his fault that stupid hick couldn't keep it in his pants.
"This is your fault, Pickett," Henry said, rather eerily, "and time is going to be your judge. Now leave."
Pickett stormed out of the room, resisting the urge to throw his fist into the wall. Someone needed to pay for that reprimand, and well, it was Sawyer's fault. Picket figured that as the head of psychology on the island, he could have his psychological and parapsychological experiments… accelerated.
"Get Ford," he snapped moodily to the armed guard standing outside their door. The man turned and fumbled with the complicated lock for a while. Pickett exhaled sharply and butted in, pulling the guard's gun from his hands and opening the door for himself.
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Sawyer cursed fluently as Pickett threw him roughly into a small, cramped room with terrible lighting and at least three armed men. Pickett then came in after him and slammed the door, his frustration and annoyance fairly evident.
"What the hell is your problem?" Sawyer snapped frustratedly as his hands were tied behind his back and to the chair.
"You are, you stupid bastard." Pickett said, violently ripping old sheets off his clipboard and gritting his teeth.
"Well gee," Sawyer said sarcastically, "I don' remember putting itching powder in your underpants,"
"No," Pickett snarled back, "but you had to go and sleep with my experiment!"
"Excuse me?" Sawyer said, obviously flabbergasted. "You mean Kate?"
"You fuck anyone else lately?" Pickett shot back.
Sawyer growled and pulled hard against his bonds. Something about the way he had said that annoyed Sawyer greatly- fucking was not the word to describe what was going on between them, stupid bastard. But then it occurred to him. How on earth did this guy know that? "Have you been spyin' on us, you son of a bitch? 'Cause that ain't none of your goddamn business!"
Pickett rolled his eyes. "Why would we keep you if we weren't interested in what we you were doing? And just who you happened to be doing just about-"
"Got you fired?" Sawyer asked, voice verging on being delighted.
"To make it short," Pickett conceded. "Anyways," he said, lips curling into a thin smile, "today's test involves using your psychic abilities under mental duress-"
"Sorry pal, I don' got anymore mental duress than usual. You kinda just make me wanna giggle."
"What if I told you that your worst enemy knocked up your girlfriend?" Pickett took pleasure in watching Sawyer pale considerably.
"What?" he uttered, hardly daring to believe.
"Don't worry," Pickett said, "we couldn't just force them to have sex- though it is a good idea..." he mused. "But that was our experiment, you see, impregnating that worthless bitch with the doctor's child-"
Sawyer roared and pulled at his bonds so violently that he only succeeded in scraping the skin off his wrists.
"Unfortunately," Pickett said still more loudly over the racket Sawyer was making, "you had to go and screw 'er before we knew our experiment was a success- so you better hope that kid, and yeah, there is a kid, isn't yours, James," Pickett said mockingly, "because that is just gonna piss me off even more."
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Dusk had fallen at camp. The only illumination was the moonlight and the warm orange glow that radiated from the twenty or so campfires spread along the shore. Eko was sitting outside his makeshift shelter, reading the names of people whom he had asked to help him rescue Jack, Kate, and Sawyer from the clutches of the Others.
Eko looked up, hearing the water and sand squelch softly as Sayid walked along the shoreline towards him. "How is your search coming along?"
"Very well," Eko said, passing the list to Sayid, "but I do not think we should take more than half a dozen people."
Sayid nodded. "Agreed. But we need to see if we can get Alex to help us before setting out. It will be much easier with that information and a woman on the inside."
"Yes. She must be very confused. It is not every day that a girl meets her mother after sixteen years."
"It is odd," Sayid mused, "that the life of death of three people hangs on a teenage girl we hardly know."
"The Lord works in many ways," Eko said, profound and wise ever.
"Yes." Sayid murmered, suddenly thinking about Shannon. He hadn't in a while... it just stirred up too many emotions that he didn't have the will to control. He had to function. He had to be useful, he had to save his friends from the people that took her from him.
"You will see her in another life," Eko said, sensing his thoughts.
"What?" Sayid said sharply, looking up.
"Something a wise person once told me," he said by way of explanation.
"Yes, me too," Sayid said, letting himself get lost in memories.
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"Jack?" Kate asked anxiously, wringing her hands,
"Hmmm?" Jack replied looking up from the book he was leafing through.
"I need to ask you something, um, medical."
"Shoot," Jack said, closing his book and looking at her attentively, wondering what this was about.
"I'm um… late…" Kate said, blushing slightly.
Jack let out a long breath. Thank god it hadn't been something more serious. Though, this could be very, very serious, some voice in his head said. "Uh, it could be a lot of things Kate… the severe stress, change to your eating habits, that sort of things," Jack said, not willing to admit the third possibility.
"Yeah… but…" Kate bit her lip anxiously, "I've always been really, uh, regular."
"Like I said… it could be anything. Maybe whatever they did to you is affecting your cycle."
"Jack," Kate said sharply, her worry and anxiety obvious, "could I be pregnant?" She said each word slowly and clearly, getting Jack in the proverbial corner.
Jack didn't say anything for a long time, "Yeah," he said finally, "Yeah, you could be."
Kate didn't move or say anything. She just nodded slowly and stared straight ahead as if she was trying not to be sick.
Just then the door swung open and Sawyer stumbled in, looking like someone had dropped an anvil on him. Kate's personal worry was forgotten for a moment as she sprang up to meet him.
"Sawyer?" she said, taking his hands and pulling him quickly onto the couch, "are you ok?"
Jack got up to get him a glass of water.
"Yeah," Sawyer managed to smile weakly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Guy just said a bunch of shit to me. Tough session." It had been. Not only had Pickett jeered and taunted him about Kate, but he had forced him to do those damn psychic tests at the same time… and he had a feeling that he had scored extraordinarily well.
Sawyer accepted the glass of water from Jack with a rare grateful nod and downed it one gulp.
"You wanna talk about it?" Kate asked softly as Jack retreated from the scene.
Sawyer's expression didn't change at all. "No."
"It's late," Kate said soothingly, trying to betray less worry than she felt. "You should go sleep." Sawyer was tough; he had a thick skin. Whatever they had said to him had to be bad. Kate suspected it would come to this- they would be done care about the physical aspects of them and start fucking with their minds instead. And yeah, Sawyer was tough, but everyone had a weak spot, and it seemed those people knew his.
"I'm gonna go take a shower, first." Sawyer said subduedly.
Kate nodded, giving his hand a squeeze and letting him go. On second thought, she padded quietly after him.
Sawyer flicked on the lights and started unbuttoning his sweat-drenched shirt, peeling it off gratefully. He turned around to close the door, but Kate was standing in the doorway, looking like an angel. "You gonna let me in?" She asked softly, leaning against the doorframe. Not waiting for an answer, she slipped under the arm that was holding the door and pushed it closed with her foot.
Laying her head softly on his chest, she sighed as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer so she could hear his heartbeat, thumping desolately against her ear.
"Sawyer," she said softly, "no matter what they said to you, I love you, ok?"
"I love you too, Katie," he said, voice raspy, "no matter what." Kate didn't notice as one of his tears fell onto her head. By god… the woman before him was carrying a baby, and he didn't know what was worse- the fact that it was his baby or not. It scared the hell out of him for a million different reasons. No kid should be brought into a world like this. Should he tell Kate, or let her find out for herself? Right now, it didn't matter.
Kate tilted her head back and kissed him softly, steering them towards the shower where the broke apart for a minute to hurriedly pull their constricting clothing off and turn the water on so that they could continue their soft, yet insistent frenzy of touching, like they were memorizing the other incase tomorrow never came.
They made love under the hot, sulfury spray, a sense of overwhelming desperation consuming them. The cold tiles provided sharp contrast to the hot water as Sawyer pressed Kate up into the shower wall, each of them holding on for dear life as a flurry of water and sensation rippled through them, like it was the last time they would every feel anything good again.