Chapter 11

AN: Holy. Fuck. The Lost writers pretty much just pwned every single fanfic writer ever. The premiere was amazing. Especially… Other village. Well, I am definitely going to try to incorporate some of the new stuff, mostly just the places. I can't really introduce new characters like Juliet… so they just won't exist. And yeah, even though Henry's real name is Ben, I'm going to keep using Henry.

Sorry it took me so long to dish this out. Hope you enjoy.

hobbits on the island: Hahaha I laughed so hard when I read your review! A Skaby sounds like... and STD or something. :D

Sawyer jerked awake as the warm body nestled beside him sprang out of bed and sprinted out of the room. "Kate!" he called groggily, getting up and trying to pull his pants on hurriedly.

Jack was already up, sipping some coffee and reading some dog-eared, yellow book. He looked up as Kate came rushing out of the bedroom, hand on her mouth, looking like she was going to be sick. "Kate," he said, getting up to go see what was the matter, but Sawyer sprinted out of the bedroom and cut him off on the way. Jack took a step back, suddenly realizing what this was about and how much he didn't want to be involved.

Kate was pregnant.

Currently she was throwing up the meager contents of her stomach, hit by early and severe morning sickness that would probably last a lot of her pregnancy.

Or maybe she had eaten something that upset her stomach, or she had some sort of stomach flu, Jack thought hopefully. But the horrible sinking feeling in his stomach told him otherwise.

Sawyer shoved past Jack, giving him a look that clearly said stay the fuck out of this. He turned the doorknob and shoved violently, but Kate had bolted the door and only the sounds of her dry, pitiful retching could be heard.

"Kate!" Sawyer yelled angrily, pounding on the door. "Are you ok? Lemme in, goddamnit!"

"Sawyer," Jack said gently. "It's ok. It was probably just something she ate."

Sawyer gave him a look so significant that Jack actually took a step back, realizing their mutual knowledge without saying a world.

"How did you find out?" Jack asked dully.

"They told me," Sawyer said haggardly. "Told me it might not be mine."

"What?" Jack said, dropping his hands to his sides. "If those fuckers even touched her-"

"Jack," Sawyer said listlessly, too drained to lie, "it might not be mine 'cause it might be yours."

Jack paused for a moment as he tried to absorb the very idea and failed. "I'm not the one who's been sleeping with her for the last week and a half," he snapped.

At any other time, Sawyer would have cracked some joke or made some remark about how he got there first, but he didn't. He just blinked once and said irritably, "It was them Jack. Some experiment o' theirs. One of them told me yesterday. They don't know who the father is yet," he finished quietly.

Jack closed his mouth, suddenly aware that it was hanging open limply.

"Fuck." It was all he could say.

"Yeah." Sawyer nodded. "Wait- you hear that?"

Jack paused to listen. Kate wasn't throwing up anymore, but she was wheezing like she couldn't get enough air and making little gasping sounds.

"Kate!" Sawyer boomed, swinging into action and pounding on the door, "open up!"

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Kate retched piteously, her empty stomach providing nothing much for her body to expel. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she finally succeeded in controlling her nausea. Sawyer's muffled shouts and pounding rang in her ears as tears sprang unbidden to her eyes. Padding shakily to the sink, she rinsed out her mouth and splashed water on her face to disguise the tears. Oh God, Kate repeated to herself, over and over again. Her predicament worsened tenfold in that moment, when she realized exactly what was wrong with her.

A baby.

Kate paused, waiting for some sweeping feeling of joy or motherly love to sweep through her at her self-admission.

It didn't.

Just cold, icy fear and a growing feeling of stifling panic... sucking the breath from her lungs and out of the room. Kate slid to the floor, shivering and sweating, looking desperately from side to side as the walls seemingly closed in on her. Sawyer's continued shouts of "Kate! Are you ok!" and "Open the fucking door!" seemed distant and unimportant. There was just the all-encompassing feeling of panic.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, a little voice reminded her of something that Jack had told her when they first crashed... though it seemed to be such a long time ago...She took a deep, shaky breath, and started.

"One."

Teresa falls up the stairs. Boone falls out of the sky.

Two.

Yeah, Shannon was a bitch. Did she deserve that bullet? Probably.

Three.

Ana Lucia hadn't meant to kill her. But comeuppance is fair play.

Four.

He hadn't planned on shooting Libby. But it was all Hurley's fault. He forgot the blankets.

Five.

One wretched new life, for all this death.

The old, rusty doorknob lock broke and Sawyer and Jack broke in, bringing oxygen with them.Sawyer rushed over and scooped Kate up in his arms, cradling her as her shivering and sobs subsided. Jack came forward and knelt beside them, checking to make sure Kate hadn't done anything... stupid to herself.

"Kate," he said firmly, trying to get her attention. "You're having a panic attack. You just need to breath, ok?"

Kate's eyes flew around wildly, landing on Jack for only a moment as he spoke.

"Sawyer," Jack murmured quietly. "You should take her to the bedroom. Let her lie down. I'll see if I can find something for her to drink."

Sawyer nodded, eyes wide and frightened, and scooped Kate up and carried her to the bedroom princess style.

He pulled the thin sheet over her as she shivered, the cold burst of sweat having cooled her body down a little too much. Sawyer didn't say anything as she settled down and her whimpers died away; he just stroked her hair gently, lost in thought about just how unlucky they all were.

It wasn't something they would admit to themselves very often- just because the conclusion was so bleak. They were stuck here. Kate would have her baby here. They would probably take her or it, or both of them, away. Even if they did manage to escape, Kate would be stuck with a kid and would never know who was its father. And then they would live and die on this island, stuck in the same ridiculous love triangle fighting over one woman and her child. And god- even if they did get rescued, how was that looking for them? Kate was definitely going to jail. Sawyer probably was too- he was wanted in several states. And Sawyer hated to admit that he cared, but Jack would probably be alone, having to raise a child while they were in jail.

Really, the only conclusion was that they were better off passing around a rusty razor blade and just finishing it. But now they had something to live for, someone to fight for, and even though Kate had definitely not come to the same conclusion as Sawyer, he truly hoped she would.

"You wanna talk about this, Katie?" Sawyer asked softly as she settled down.

"No," was her very final sounding answer. "It's nothing. I just- I ate something bad. Your sloppy joes."

Sawyer grimaced at the mental image of regurgitated sloppy joes for a moment. "We both know that ain' true Freckles."

"Yeah?" she said challengingly, eyes blazing. "And how exactly do you know? Are you the one who's- who's-" she just couldn't bring herself to say it.

"No," he conceded, "but there's a good chance it's mine."

Just then Jack walked in with a mug of something hot. "I found some old tea bags," he said, setting the cup down on the night table. "They're probably ancient, but I don't think dried leaves go bad. Should help your stomach, anyways."

"You wanna give us a minute alone, Jack?" Kate snapped, feeling moody.

"No, actually," Jack said, giving Sawyer a significant look.

"Jack..." Sawyer sighed, ignoring Kate's protests, "have a seat."

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The day outside the sterile white walls of Jack, Kate, and Sawyer's domestic hell-hole was stifling. It wasn't enough that the sun was beating down mercilessly, but the humidity that came with being on the coast was trapped underneath the forest canopy and superheated to an extremely uncomfortable temperature. Sayid and Jin traipsed through the jungle, neither of them complaining.

Jin's English had been improving steadily over the last few weeks. He had finally pushed his ire at Sun not telling him aside and allowed her to begin teaching him some English. If he was spoken to very slowly in simple terms he could understand, he could usually figure out what was being said and respond in the same manner. Of course, the first English words he learned here on the island were much different than the first words he would have learned back... on the rest of the world. 'Food' of course, was a big one, as was "Others', 'gun' and 'help'.

Sayid had approached him this morning and told Sun, who was with him, that he was going on a reconnaissance trip, and would he like to come along? Jin had been reluctant of course, as Sun was pregnant, but she assured him that they were just going to go and look around and not do anything dangerous.

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Earlier.

"I've had enough of your bullshit, Pickett," Henry said angrily. I want the suppressants injected today. Now!"

They were all seated around the table in Henry's home office, a rare occurrence. Alex looked around, feeling envious that only the highest-ranking members got to live in these nice houses. The rest were in tents on the beach, living like veritable animals. When you turn eighteen, Henry had always told her, maybe you can live in one of the houses.

Pickett and Henry were arguing heatedly over whether or not to proceed with the next stage of the pregnancy: to suppress Kate's memory and keep her sedated, as they had with Claire. But Alex was feeling increasingly uneasy about this.

"Fine," Henry snapped, "we'll put it to a vote," he said menacingly, looking at everyone with a 'you know what'll happen if you don't my way' stare. "All those in favour."

Alex raised her hand weakly, not stupid enough to incur Henry's wrath.

Suddenly, just to the left of Henry's shoulder, leaning on the filing cabinet was Shannon, not looking at Alex. She was holding a dark haired baby, her fingers pressed to her lips.

Alex clapped her hand to her mouth to keep from yelling.

"You alright, Alex?" Bea questioned, looking suspicious. Alex nodded quickly and coughed violently, pretending to have choked accidentally.

"It's settled then," Henry said, ignoring the outburst. "Alex, take someone and go get her."

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Jack had never felt so awkward in his entire life.

It was like some horrible nightmare one would have in high school. Kate was sitting there, hands folded tightly in her lap and chewing her bottom lip red raw while Sawyer looked on with a sort of helpless sympathy.

And god- this wasn't even supposed to be his fucking problem. He hadn't done anything... or in this case, anyone. But still, Kate was pregnant and it might be his. There's a better chance it's Sawyer's, Jack reasoned to himself. But there was still that chance that it was his.

The thing he feared the most, however, was that Kate would give up.

She had run all her life, and now, in this virtual cage, there was nowhere else to go. It was truth time for all of them. Time to reflect, time to find themselves. It was not supposed to be time to play guinea pigs to bored, crazy scientists, goddammit.

Kate looked severely alarmed. "Sawyer..." Jack said quietly. "You'd better explain already."

"Yeah, you'd better," Kate said, her ghostly pallor so normal now that no one noticed it anymore. She looked anxiously from side to side, wondering what the hell was going on. Yeah, she knew she was... God, she couldn't even bring herself to say it. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant! She tested out the word inside her head, not particularly enjoying the nauseous, sick feeling in sent jolting through the pit of her stomach. But something else was going on here. Jack and Sawyer were getting along, seemingly united in something. That was never a good sign.

"We uh- found out what Pinky an' the Brain was trying to do with us. Er, you and Doc Giggles."

Kate just gave him a look, and then turned to Jack, hoping for a better answer. He just shrugged and huffed, opening his mouth as if he was trying to choose the best words. "I guess the Others were kind of pissed of that they didn't get a hold of Claire's baby..." he said lamely, and then fell silent.

Kate felt the anger welling up in her, positive that they could feel in emanating from her as they cowered. "I'm tired of you two sneaking around behind my back. Tell me what's going on now," Kate said, shooting scalding glance at Jack and one to Sawyer that implied that he wasn't getting any ever again if he didn't tell her.

"Kate," Sawyer said, voice barely more than a whisper, "the baby... it might not be mine." He looked up and locked gazes with her; face grim and almost saddened... like he was, for the first time in his life, considering he wanted children.

He was no spring chicken anymore... at the not-so-tender age of thirty-seven, some clock in him was ticking... and stuck here, he thought about things he never would have thought of back home. Wishing he had settled down... wishing he had let go of his demons, wishing for a real life instead of the restless one he had once led... that life that had gotten him stuck here. He supposed they were all here because of that.

Kate didn't say a word. She sat down again, fearing her legs would collapse from beneath her.

"It could be Jack's," Sawyer pressed on, his usual talent for expelling mounds of bullshit in order to avoid a question suddenly evaporated. "Y'know, test tube baby or whatever."

Just then Alex burst through the bedroom door with a man holding a large rifle. "Kate," she beckoned, looking pained, "get up."

Kate didn't even resist. She didn't look to Jack or Sawyer for help, she didn't even give off her normal passive aggressive air. She just got up and took Alex by her hand, as if she had shut down and reverted to some sad child. Alex looked down, slightly alarmed, but satisfied that Kate wasn't going to try and beat her up or anything.

"I don't think there's any need for the gun. You can go," she said to the man, trying to sound authoritative. He scowled, but left.

"Alex," Sawyer said, truly believing she was on their side. "What are they going to do to Kate?"

Alex looked severely pained. "Look, if I don't deliver her, they'll kill me, I'm sure of it," she whispered. "But I'm going to try and get you guys out of here, I promise. Some things are worse than being dead."

"Why are you whisp-" Jack said, before he was cut off with an audible, angry sounding "Shut up!" from Alex.

"The cameras," she whispered. "They're old. They can't hear us if we whisper."

Jack turned his head only to be hissed at by Alex. "Don't look! We have to go now, and you probably won't see each other for a while."

Sawyer stood up, suddenly very unwilling for this to happen.

"Sawyer," Kate said, "It's ok." She was still holding onto Alex's hand, feeling overwhelmingly trusting of this girl for no apparent reason.

"Ka-" Sawyer said, stopping mid word as Alex whisked her away.

Sawyer followed, trying to follow them out, but the armed man was waiting at the door to shove him back in. He stumbled backwards and tripped over his own feet, falling ass first onto the cold concrete floor. Not bothering to get back up, Sawyer lay there and sobbed like he hadn't in years.

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