AN: Believe it or not, there are only a few more chapters... Reviews appreciated!

Chapter Sixteen

Sam's admission was met with stupefied silence, which was pretty much exactly what she'd feared. Because, really, had she ever seen a ghost and started her scientific inquiry into answering all of the age-old questions regarding life after death and the existence of a soul and God and the like, and the ghost had told her that dying resulted in standing in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles, she would have responded in much the same way. And maybe, just maybe, everyone in the room had frankly expected Sam's rendition of life after death to be a little more substantive than it turned out to be.

"I don't think it was really the DMV. It just was very much like it in only the most unflattering ways."

Jack shook his head, his brow furrowed in thought. "I don't get it."

"Neither do I. And I couldn't ask anything because the people manning the counter are slightly less helpful than state employees."

Jack shook his head again. "No, that's not what I don't get." He cleared his throat, trying not to be unnerved by Sam's scrutiny. "I always figured the DMV was hell, so that's not really surprising. What I don't get is-"

Daniel interrupted, apparently having the same issue with the story as Jack. "How did you wind up in hell?"

"It's not hell."

Janet looked disappointed. "That's not really my idea of heaven, Sam." Scientist or no, it was clear Janet was kind of hoping for angels with harps and soft clouds.

"It's not heaven either." Although she certainly hadn't liked it and hadn't really thought she understood it, it seemed to make a little more sense to her. She found that in trying to explain it to the others, it clarified itself somewhat. "It's neither. It's more like a processing office, kind of like the real DMV, I guess. There are a lot of different things going on there in all the different lines and you're pretty much out of luck if you get in the wrong one."

Jack frowned. "There are lines in heaven?"

Sam shrugged, an answer she seriously hated using so much. "I'm not sure what would have happened if I'd stayed. Maybe I would have gotten to see the real heaven."

Daniel looked intrigued ad Sam could just about see the millions of questions in his eyes. "So why didn't you get to see it?"

Sam's eyes met Jack's, a rush of warmth flashing through her in answer to the love she saw there. "I was a little fixated on coming back. You know me. I can be a little driven." She felt herself blushing and rushed to explain, which only served to draw attention to the comment that wasn't so obvious until she tried to make it less so. "Once they told me it was all a mistake and I wasn't supposed to die, I wasn't really in the mood to hang around and check the place out."

Daniel folded his arms over his chest and tried to look innocent which Sam knew he only did when he wasn't innocent. "You mentioned something about having to wait for your soul mate, didn't you?"

Jack started to blush as all eyes turned to him. "She didn't mention anything about that to me." He tried to sound indignant, but he was smiling, letting everyone know that he didn't mind a bit. After a moment, he shrugged at Sam. "At least you don't need to worry about me being afraid of commitment."

She grinned. "It was made quite clear to me that minding commitment wouldn't make one bit of difference." She winked at him. "Soul mates are soul mates and no one can change that. Ever." As much as she still wasn't about to give up on the life she'd enjoyed until three weeks prior, there was something very romantic and inviting about the idea of starting all over and doing it all again, knowing she and Jack, or whoever they might be, would still wind up together.

"Not nobody, not no how."

Teal'c raised his eyebrow and broke his silence. "O'Neill, will you ever miss an opportunity to make reference to that film?"

Jack beamed happily, proud that Teal'c had caught his Wizard of Oz reference and completely ignorant that it hadn't been a compliment. "Not a chance."

The group was gathered in a small circle when General Hammond finally reappeared. He watched quietly from the doorway, noticing the relaxed stance of the SFs who clearly didn't anticipate having to stop anyone from trying to escape and the inappropriately lighthearted atmosphere in the infirmary. When no one realized he was there, he cleared his throat and watched everyone instantly become reluctant and uncomfortable.

"Give me good news, Dr. Fraiser."

Janet smiled a forced, tight-lipped smile. "I'd have to say that it's good news, but you might feel differently, sir."

Sam couldn't resist. "It's all relative, sir." She saw her group of friends try not to smile at her comment.

Hammond closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You didn't find anything wrong with them, did you?"

"No, sir, nothing at all."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Has Dr. Mackenzie been consulted?"

Janet took a deep breath and shot a glance at Sam that Sam correctly interpreted to mean that she wasn't supposed to take anything Janet said personally. "No, sir, I don't think that's necessary. If seems like an effective defense mechanism for them to believe that Major Carter is still with them." She motioned at Jack. "Colonel O'Neill is in much better emotional state today than he has been, sir. I think perhaps the best thing to do is to allow him to believe that Major Carter is here as long as he needs to."

The general took another deep breath, before evidently deciding to believe her. "If you think that's wise. You don't think it's harmful?"

Jack looked at Sam and smiled. "How could this be harmful?"

Janet shook her head. "Not at all, sir." She smiled. "I think it's exactly what we all need." Daniel grinned. Teal'c grinned. Even the SFs grinned.

Sam grinned happily, feeling rather full of herself. "I don't think I've ever felt so loved in my whole life." She stopped short of demanding a group hug, but only because Teal'c, Janet, and Hammond would refuse to participate, leaving Daniel and Jack to look really odd.

Jack winked and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Not even last night?"

Sam copied his wink and his whisper. "Apples and oranges." She imagined the grin on her face gave him all the answer he needed.

Hammond nodded, ignoring the fact that the colonel was talking to himself. "Very well. Colonel, consider your leave canceled. SG-1, you will escort Dr. Felger to P8S-389 at 0700 tomorrow."

Jack couldn't help frowning. "Sir, couldn't we just look into it ourselves first?"

"No, Colonel, it needs to be investigated by a scientist." He held up his hand to stop any dispute that Jack might offer. "A scientist besides Dr. Jackson."

Jack and Sam sighed dejectedly. Daniel didn't bother to hide his disappointment. Teal'c even looked disappointed. Jack looked at Sam. "What are the odds that Felger believes in you?"

"I think he's probably about as likely to believe in ghosts as I was before I, you know, became one."

"At least I won't have to beat him up for ogling you, right?"

Sam grinned. "You'll probably want to beat him up for something though, right?"

"Just for being Felger, I imagine." Jack redirected his attention at the general who held his tongue despite the appearance of a considerable amount of worry. "Are we ok to leave or do you want us to stay here tonight, sir?"

The general's eyes slid toward Janet. "Can you assure me that this isn't harmful?"

Janet smiled at the group of four, the unit that was complete once again. "Yes, sir, they're fine."

Trusting the doctor's judgment over his own, Hammond nodded. "I'll see everyone here at 0700." He shook his head at them or Janet or himself and walked away, muttering something to himself.

After waving goodbye to Janet, Sam led the way out of the infirmary. The SFs, relieved of their guard duty, scurried off to spread the news to their friends, or perhaps to vehemently deny that they too were crazy. Jack was paying a bit more attention to the world around him than he had been in three weeks, so he was the first to notice it.

"Daniel, is it crowded in here?" He thought maybe there'd been some staffing changes or something during the time he was drunk and catatonic.

But Daniel's confusion was obvious, alerting Jack to the fact that he didn't have an answer as to why there were so many people around. "Actually, Jack, yes, it is crowded."

Perhaps the most damning fact of all was that Teal'c appeared thoroughly disturbed as well. "O'Neill, I believe that most of these individuals are deceased."

Rather than dispute Teal'c's statement, Jack turned to Sam. Sam looked back wide-eyed. "Don't look at me."

"And just who should I look at?"

Sam didn't want to shrug again, but she thought about it. "This is not my fault."

And suddenly Marge appeared amid the throng of souls. "Congratulations, Miss Carter, God suddenly became available."

Sam glanced at Jack, wondering if he could help her. She seriously doubted it, but she still wanted to cling to him. "I thought he wasn't going to be available for a couple centuries or something." She twisted her fingers through Jack's, feeling his hand tighten in response to her anxiety. "He's got all of creation to oversee and all that, right?"

Marge adjusted her glasses in such a way that it wasn't clear why she'd bothered since they wound up in the exact same place they'd been. "Apparently, he's taking appointments in order of priority."

Sam scooted back little by little until she was halfway behind Jack. "I'm not important."

Marge frowned, looking very sorry that she didn't have a computer to check with. "You are now."

"No, really, I'm good. I'll just wait my turn."

"I'm afraid that's not the way it works, Miss. Please come with me."

"How does it work then? You all seemed terribly fond of lines three weeks ago." Sam suspected that running away wasn't going to help anymore than clinging to Jack was, but she was tempted to try it, with Jack, of course.

"It works however God decides it works." Marge cleared her throat and Sam wanted to tell her to cut back on the cigarettes, but she didn't see the point since Marge was already dead. Marge tried to smile in what might have been an attempt to not seem quite so thoroughly unhappy. "And God's decided you're next in line."

Jack looked around at the hundreds of dead people, who had obviously determined SG-1 was the group who could see them and were all trying to talk simultaneously. "Carter, why do I suspect this is somehow your fault?"

"I really don't want to see God so much anymore, Marge. Why don't you tell him that I've changed my mind? The mistake was made, but it's in the past. I'm over it. We're good. Tell God that I'll catch up with him next lifetime."

"Miss Carter, God wants to see you now."

Sam looked at Jack, real fear taking hold in her gut. "Jack, I'm not going to leave you. I'll be back."

Jack winced at the people shoving to get close enough to yell in his face. He turned away from them, realizing when he saw the fear in Sam's eyes that there was really something to be afraid of. "Promise?"

Sam nodded. "I don't want to go, Jack."

Jack squeezed her hand and tried to put on a brave face, even though his heart was visibly breaking. "I don't think you have a choice."

Sam leaned up on her toes, pressing a kiss against his lips. "I'll find a way, Jack. I promise." As she spoke, she felt herself drifting, seeming to dematerialize despite her attempt to hold onto Jack. She saw his face twist in anguish as she faded away before his eyes.

And then she realized, quite unhappily, that she was sitting in a waiting room. Sam stood up, irritated by the swanky leather chairs and the enormous fountain bubbling soothingly against the marble sculpture of something she imagined was supposed to be pretty. Stomping over to the reception desk, she smacked her hand on the bell.

A petite redhead looked up from her filing. "May I help you?"

"Yeah, you can tell God that I'm very displeased with his timing."

She smiled in a very friendly way. "I'll let him know you're here and you can tell him yourself, how's that?" She pressed a button on her desk. "Your three o'clock is here, sir." Releasing the button, the perky woman smiled up at Sam without even batting an eyelash at Sam's attitude. "Can I offer you some water or coffee while you wait?"

Sam huffed at her, tapping her foot while she wondered how much time was passing on Earth, how Jack was doing, and why she suspected Jack was right about the altogether frightening number of ghosts haunting the SGC. She turned as she heard a door open, staring dumbfounded at the smiling figure in the doorway.

"Miss Carter, I presume?"

"Are you God?" For the first time in her life, Sam thought she might faint.

"Yes, I am."

And then she really did faint.