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Chapter 10: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
Rob drummed his fingers on Matt's car door. He didn't exactly want to be here. He had finally graduated high school and was going to leave for New York in a few days. His friends had managed to drag him off to a big party at the Kramer's. He didn't want to be anywhere near Lucy. His friends assured him that there would be a lot of people, and he probably wouldn't run into her at all. Her brother's band was playing which meant Drake was playing. Drake was still considered cool to the Belleview students. Nothing had changed that.
Rob sat in the front seat next to Matt while Tyler and Kyle sat in the backseat. He sighed. He and Matt weren't speaking as much as they should lately. He wasn't speaking as much as he should with Caitlyn either. Caitlyn and Matt were dating. A little after Homecoming they decided to start. That didn't bother Rob. Not much, anyway.
Rob walked inside the house. He didn't like being here. He didn't even know what he was doing there. If he ran into Lucy, he might have a breakdown, and he was afraid of that. He was also afraid of running into Caitlyn, and he didn't know why. Another reason he was headed to New York was that he couldn't figure out why he felt the way he did about Matt and Caitlyn. They were his friends, and he should be happy for them, but he wasn't.
Rob kept walking straight ahead. He didn't look around him. He just wanted to get away from everything. Why was he even here? There was no reason for him to be here. He knew the band was set up in the backyard. He knew it was wrong, but a part of him didn't want to see Drake either. He felt awful for thinking that, but he couldn't help but think it.
He finally collapsed on the couch in the Kramer's living room. He didn't really want to talk to anyone at all. He glanced up at the clock. It was eight o'clock. They could all be there until three o'clock in the morning. Of course, the band could probably only play until about eleven or so if the neighbors had anything to say about it. The police would probably get called eventually anyway. He'd be glad to get out of there before that. He was thinking that maybe he'd stick around for a while then go home with Drake. He really didn't see any need to stay at the party. There wasn't anyone he really wanted to talk to there.
He sat there for about half an hour while everyone else walked around him, dancing, talking, making out. He sighed. He just wanted to get out of here. Someone sat next to him on the couch, and he didn't notice who it was. Not until she spoke, anyway.
"Rob?" Caitlyn finally said.
He turned to her. He wasn't sure how he felt about her relationship with Matt. He wasn't sure how he felt about her.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Things couldn't be better."
Caitlyn didn't know how to respond to that and simply sat for a few minutes.
"So you're leaving for New York soon?" she finally said.
"Yep. I'm going to see my mom. I'll finally get to see my real family after all these years."
"Oh, Rob."
"What?"
"Why don't you see them as your family?"
"Haven't we been over this enough? Doesn't it seem like it's time for you to stop bothering me about it?"
"Where do you get off? They love you. They're your family."
"You mean they were obligated to take me in. I know what happened. My dad left it in his will that he wanted Drake to take care of me. He really had no choice."
"Why wouldn't he? He could have let you go back to your mother which, from what I see now, might have been the better choice."
"I don't know. Guilt. He and Dad never got along when I was little."
"Can you blame him? For having his own father walk out on him?"
"I want to go back to see my mom who apparently did the same thing to me."
"You're being ridiculous. They love and care about you."
"Angela's too little to get it. Christine's only doing it because of Drake. None of them actually care. It's all obligation. Well, they don't have to worry about it anymore."
Rob hopped off the couch and headed off to find Tyler. He needed to talk to someone who wasn't going to bother him about what was happening. If anything, he'd get, "Man, it's so cool that you're going to New York." Instead of the interrogation and guilt he got from Caitlyn.
Caitlyn sighed and stood up when she turned around, she came face to face with Drake.
"Dr. Parker," she said quietly. "I don't think he meant..."
"I know what he meant," Drake replied. His eyes were missing their shine. He sighed and finally spoke again. "I just...If you see him again, let him know I'll be ready to leave at 11:45."
Drake silently drove home with Rob in the seat next to him. Neither seemed to have anything to say. Rob had no idea that Drake had heard him talking to Caitlyn, and Drake didn't know what to make of it. Rob didn't think of he, Christine, and Angela as his family. No matter how long they'd taken care of him, it didn't seem to matter.
Rob was still frustrated over his conversation with Caitlyn. What did she expect from him? She just suddenly expected his view on the matter to change? He knew one thing. He was going to New York. He was going to see his real family and finally get the answers he'd waited for for a long time.
Rob picked up his carry on bag and began to head onto the plane. He didn't want to look back. The last time he'd been at this airport, Drake had left for New York to see about a record deal. He'd turned it down. He came back. Rob knew he'd be back but hopefully knowing what was going through his mother's mind all those years ago.
Drake stood back, watching Rob walk away. All he could think about were the times when Rob was little. He'd asked him about his mother when he first came to San Diego, and Drake had no idea how to respond. Then he'd told Drake he wanted him to stay when he went to New York for a record deal. Drake had taken it to heart. Among everything else he soon realized he'd wanted, he wanted to take care of his brother. Now Rob was headed back to New York. Drake was hanging on by a thread. He had no idea how to react to the situations around him. Rob didn't think of him as a parent. He'd wanted that more than anything, and it never happened.
Drake collapsed in one of the seats. Ever since the incident with Lucy, Rob had begun acting strange. Then they'd discovered Rob didn't think he had family here. Drake wished he could see that it simply wasn't true. He hadn't told Christine what he heard Rob say. How could he possibly tell his wife that the boy she'd grown to love like her own child didn't think she cared? It would kill her. Drake just couldn't do that. But how to deal with this? They could only carry on with their lives and hope that Rob would realize they did love him. Drake wanted more than anything for Rob to realize that and come home. He could only hope and wait.