Dear Sakura,
Ok, I just woke up. For a strange reason, the true pure events that took place last night didn't wash over me till just now. And believe me when I say they are pretty terrible. I can't believe I lied to Sasuke, and Shika was right there to hear every word of it!
When I caught up to him in the middle of the lawn, his face looked so hurt by what I had said, I could have stabbed myself through the heart then and there, and it wouldn't be able to trump the pain it was experiencing then. Just seeing his face like that made me cry. He snapped at me and on impulse, I snapped back, like I was refusing to admit that I made a mistake. Why was that? Why can't I ever accept defeat? That always makes the issue so much worse.
Especially when I was caught off guard by a question he asked…he asked whether I meant what I said. Yes or no question. Just a simply answer, Ino. And it was "NO, I didn't mean it at all, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life and I can't stand seeing you like this. I'm so sorry." But me being the retarded fool I am, I took a few seconds to remember all the fun we had just last week. And then fast forwarding to how we are now. Did that really evolve into all this thanks to one little argument? Whatever it was, I thought into it so much that I didn't answer off my head. This obviously put Shika under the impression that I did think it was true. Then he waked away without another word, leaving me feeling discarded. I broke down. I tried to call him back in one of my last sobs, but it was hopeless. He probably didn't even hear it. Even if he did, he apparently chose to ignore it.
Why Sakura? Why do I only wait to speak until just after it matters the most? Now Shikamaru is probably going to zone me out of his life for as long as we live, me unable to fix things! Urgh, I could just…hurt myself. You ever get that weird feeling…where you believe your only outlet of you emotional pain is physical pain? Yeah, well…yeah. Um, I got to go…buy something. I'll see you later.
Um. bye.
Ino
Confused by that last part? Good. The story's going the right way right now then.