Heads up, in this chapter, Ino's writing in her diary instead of to a person. Well…for those who didn't notice that is.
7/19
Dear Diary,
God, I haven't written in this old dust bunny for years now. I just looked at the past entries from when I was in my genin days. I would always write in here when I would face a conflict I could never sort out with only a friend. And this is one of those moments.
I made a terrible mistake. Possibly the worst mistake I have and will ever make in my whole life. Shikamaru wasn't stupid after all…maybe I was stupid. I didn't take in a word of what he told me in that letter. And might I say, had I not been filled with rage, I would have worshiped that letter and kept it with me all eternity.
However, me being the angry jerk I was being, I didn't pay mind to all the explanations he gave me and just proceeded to be angry with him. WHY HADN'T I JUST LISTENED??? Why did I have to waltz off with Sasuke and bad mouth Shikamaru? I honestly should have seen it. I mean, why else would he just randomly bring up the subject of Shikamaru?
Because Shika had planned it. I can't…I can't believe he wanted to know just that much how I felt about him as to create a plan to find out. All because I wouldn't face him after that day. Even when he tried to explain.
And he really did love me. And now he doesn't.
I was stupid.
Hoping there is a remedy for stupidity,
Ino
7/20
Dear Diary,
Still as empty as ever. I have basically no one to go to but this old thing since Sakura's mad at me…Shika's obviously not about to talk to me…Temari is about ready to gnaw my head off…Sasuke…well, let's not try to think about that one…everyone else is on a mission or just has better things to do. Long story short, everyone hates me for what I did to Shika and I have no way to fix things. I wish more than anything I could fix things.
But…
I know I can't fix things. But maybe I could make them slightly less emotionally painful…eek!
Hm. That doesn't feel so bad actually. I bought some new razors yesterday…let's just say I sort of "experimented" a bit. Who would have thought one tiny slit on the wrist and BAM! I already felt a bit better. I wonder how much more relaxed I would feel if I let loose just a bit more…
Just finding the remedy for stupidity,
Ino
I know. Degrassi moment, huh? It goes there. If there really are any cutters out there reading this, and you are offended by the way I portray the condition, please tell me and I will try to be more sensitive with the subject.
Don't worry, things will brighten up soon, you'll see. Please don't give up on the story yet.