Dear Shikamaru,
How are you holding up, buddy? I know it must be completely Earth-shattering to have your heart blown to pieces, but you at least have to look at civilization some time. Keeping yourself holed up in your house all day everyday isn't gonna help your case. I hate to burst you bubble, but it's true. I always knew you were lazy, but not so lazy that you wouldn't emerge from hibernation for four whole days running.
Hey, I think I know what can cheer you up. Well, maybe. I know you hate huge social gatherings, but it may get your mind off the drama. Remember Tenten? The girl whose butt I totally kicked during the Chuunin exams? Yeah, well she's hosting a big party at the academy on Friday (In other words, a week from Armageddon) and I think you should go. Me and my boyfriend (who says a sarcastic thank you to all the feminine accusations you bestowed upon him…well I'm pretty sure it's sarcastic) are going together, maybe you could meet us there? You know, just so you won't have to show up there alone. A lot of people know about what happened now (courtesy of Sakura Haruno) and it would be really awkward for you to just show up and be solitaire. So we'll see ya there hopefully? Ok see ya there.
Will see ya there regardless of what you say,
Temari
PS…Stop talking about my boyfriend like that!!! Would he be going out with me if he wasn't straight???
DANCE PARTY PART DEUX!!!
("everybody dance now" music plays)
EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! (Dun…..dun dun dun…dun dun) EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!
REMIX!!!
Don't stop (don't stop!) don't stop the beat, don't stop (don't stop!) don't stop the beat YO!
Beat THAT KANYE!!!!