So I could make up excuses as to why this story took so long to be updated, but there are two simple reasons: Writer's Block, and Writer's Block, but only for this damn story. Apparently I'd left off on a place hard to develop from…

Chapter 13—Break Me

Was Nick jealous that some kid he just met earlier that day was making out with his boyfriend—correction; ex—boyfriend? Oh yeah, he was furious. He'd only officially broken up with Xander less than 10 minutes ago…and now this?

"You sure you're okay man, you look like a ghost…or like you just saw one," Jeremy stated.

Nick was zoned out and was barely able to pay attention to what was being said.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?" Jeremy asked in a more concerned tone.

"Ah…no…actually, I'm not," Nick said.

"Does this have to do with…you know…back there?"

"Not really, I mean, kind of, but…what happened with you and Xander?"

"It's a really long story and I dunno if you'd really wanna hear it," Jeremy replied slowly.

"No," Nick said, looking at the blond, "Trust me, I want to know."

Jeremy pondered the idea for a few moments, then concluded, "Alright, but first, let's swing by my place so I can drop my stuff off, kay?"

"Sure," Nick answered half-heartedly.

In all fairness, Nick knew he had a right to know what had happened with the boys. Especially if Jeremy really was hitting on him. He didn't want to get involved with someone he knew nothing about…but there was still a part of him nagging, saying what more could go wrong?

Jeremy swung into a medium size driveway, parking his truck.

"You comin' in?" he asked, as he'd already waited for several moments for Nick's attention.

Nick snapped out of his brainstorm, "Oh…uh, sure."

Both boys made their way into Jeremy's large, empty house.

"So ah…you say Leelee's your sister?"

"Well…she's adopted. My parents are weird, and they wanted another teenager, so they adopted her…"

"Weird…"

"That's what I said. But she's usually out, she's almost never home…"

"Sounds about right…she's normally up at the Rock Porium annoying the hell out of me," Nick added.

Jeremy let out a small laugh as he opened the door to a cool home, with cream colored carpet and brilliantly white walls.

"Nice place."

"Thanks…we do our best," Jeremy joked as he headed up stairs.

"C'mon, I'll show you my room."

Nick hesitantly followed until they ended up in a large room, which accompanied a computer desk with (what else) a computer, a full sized bed, and a walk in closet to the left. Around the room were various NFL posters, surfing posters, baseball, typical guy things…only…Jeremy wasn't really typical. That much Nick could tell by watching the male on the computer, no doubt checking e-mail or something.

A shrill ring pierced the air, bringing Nick out of observation ever-so-suddenly.

"Ah, hang on, gotta get the phone," Jeremy said, heading for his door.

"Uh…feel free to do whatever," he said as parting phrase before disappearing downstairs.

Nick contemplated that offer, and idly checked his own e-mail, and then his Myspace.

"New Messages!" said a bright red sign below his default picture.

"Message?" Nick wondered absently.

He clicked the link and almost passed out when he saw who the message was from.

In words as clear as day, and a different picture than what he'd originally seen, was "The Life of Brice."

It felt as if his breath was caught in his throat, or like someone didn't want him breathing.

Slowly, Nick red the reply.

"I think you were right, I don't want to remember you, unfortunately I was forced to by your little message. Your profile says you're straight, but I have a feeling you're still as gay as you were then. Once a fag, always a fag. You can try all you want, but in the end, every sick fuck like you is going to burn in hell. Do me a favor, and leave me alone."

Nick choked back something. It wasn't a tear or a sob…he really didn't know what it was, but it made him feel uncomfortable that after all these years, and no matter how many cities away they were, Brice still had complete control over him. Why did he care so much that Brice still hated him? Why couldn't he just let that asshole go?

"Who was that from?" Jeremy's voice startled Nick.

"Uh, no one," Nick said, quickly X-ing out of the window.

Nick was so caught up with the message he hadn't even heard Jeremy come in.

"I'm sorry," Jeremy said simply.

"For what?"

"That whoever that was feels like that. No one deserves that kind of treatment…"

Nick looked away from Jeremy's dull blue eyes, staring intently at the carpet.

In good nature, Jeremy stepped back and sat on his bed, waiting for Nick to explain, and explain he did.

He let out everything about Brice, even more than he did with Xander. He told Jeremy about their close knit friendship, about their horrible kiss, and about the message he'd written to his past friend. And after that he began telling Jeremy about Xander, including the kiss he saw Xander and Casey share.

By the time Nick was done explaining he had summoned some tears and by the end of the story, he was letting Jeremy hold him.

And slowly, Nick's pity and anguish toward Xander made him vulnerable, almost willing to give in to Jeremy. And give in he did…in a state of defenselessness and absolute unclearness.

And when he began to drift after the deed was done, a seed of guilt began to bloom. Sure he'd seen Xander kiss Casey, sure Brice wanted him to burn in hell, but he'd just lost his virginity to someone he barely even knew.

Tell me how horrible I am in a review!

------------ Patrick