Disclaimer: I don't want to do this for every chapter... it gets really annoying. Ok, here we go... takes a deep breath... whispers 'I don't own D-N-Angel or any other thing I use in my story, except Kurai (not Kurai from Angel Sanctuary, I made my character before I knew about that one...).'

I have decided on a name for the dog, based on a mix between ideas from FullMetalDemonCross and XxTypoMasterxX. The name will be Kikiji. It isn't meant to mean anything if it does.

Chapter 5

Ya know how I promised an article from Homicidal Monthly? Well, it's coming up soon. It was made with the help of a friend, Megan (Krad) Hikari. Two Krad obsessed people working on ideas, it could only lead to... a gossip column in Homicidal Monthly.

Krad glared at the puppy, who was resting her head on Krad's arm. The puppy barked happily and vary high-pitched. It wasn't long before the dog started licking his face. He panicked and flew to the top of the room. "Back! Stay back!" He took a spatula from the kitchen and held it out like a sword. The puppy barked again. After some convincing, he came down.

"Why don't you read something while you wait on dinner?" She handed him the latest Homicidal Monthly. He'd been wanting to read it but he hadn't had any time.

"Thanks..." He opened it to the gossip column and read 'The Real Reason' page...

THE REAL REASON...

By: Ino-Ur Secrets

Krad Can't Defeat Dark:

You all wonder why the homicidal maniac ,known as Krad, can't defeat the Phantom Thief Dark. Keep reading and you'll find out exactly the real reason. We, as always, aim to uncover the truth.

We believe he can't kill Dark because, are you ready for this, he loves the thief. Yes, the truth is out. Krad is Dark's gay lover. We noticed a strange pattern in Krad's behavior.

These actions were:

1) Dancing in front of the mirror and singing into a hairbrush.

2) Wearing a Dark fan girl shirt that reads "I LOVE DARK!"

3) Stop singing and dancing only to watch his soaps and all time favorite show, Barney.

Read more about this on page 24.

It took only seconds for it to sink in. He went into the kitchen and told Kurai e had some business to take care of.

"Aww, you're leaving? Please stay longer. Dinner's almost done and Kikiji really likes you. Pleeeeeeeeease?"

"Have you read this!" He yelled, waving the open article in her face. "They will pay for this with their LIVES!"

"SO? Kill them tomorrow, I'll help. Just stay for dinner and we can think up the worst ways imaginable to hurt them."

"Well, I was kinda leaning toward the pinata idea..." His stomach started growling, "I guess I could stay for dinner..."

"Hope you're a cannibal." Kurai chirped. Seeing the look on Krad's face, she laughed. "Just kidding around."

She brought pork, chicken, beef, and every other meat you could imagine, except human. She also had rice, alfredo, spaghetti, and several other grains. Krad looked at all the food and wondered how it only took an hour to make it all.

"Eat." She told him as se handed down a piece of chicken for Kikiji. "I didn't poison it, I promise."

They somehow managed to eat everything there as they exchanged ideas. Tying them up by their toes and dangling them just above the water infested with piranhas was one. As was covering them in wax and pulling the paper off over and over in the same spot.

"Well, I better get home." Krad stood up to leave. "That was good, thanks. Remember, 9 a.m. sharp, don't be late for their misery.

"I won't." She showed him to the door, without him getting lost in the fear room again. Kikiji barked a goodbye and goodnight as Krad left.

"Told ya he wouldn't hurt you. He's not all evil, he likes dogs... sorta." Kurai told Kikiji.

The dog gave her a 'yeah, sure, whatever' look and they went inside.

The next morning, Kurai woke to Kikiji barking out the window at something. Kurai got up and went to te dog's side thinking it was probably a bunch of kids. She saw Dark banging on the door.

"Wonder what that's about." Kurai said to herself.

"Yeah, I've been wondering that for te past hour he's been there." Krad said.

Hearing Krad startled her. She turned around and threw something at him. In fact, until she hit him with a pillow, she didn't even realize it was Krad.

"Hey! Abuse!"

"I"M SO SORRY!"

He sat on the floor and rubbed is head. "That's okay, you only hit me with a rock hard pillow. What's in there? Bricks?"

She dumped out an assortment of rocks from the pillowcase. He laughed nervously. "In case Dark ever tried to steal Kikiji." She told him."I'll go see what he wants...There's ice in the kitchen.

"Wait, I'll come with you...I don't want to get lost again."

She helped him up and they went to the door. Kurai opened it a bit. "Who is it and what do you want?"

"It's Dark. Let me in. It's about the article and I saw Krad come here. I need to talk to him about these people."

"We'll take care of it, just go away." She would hate for him to steal Kikiji.

Krad sensed her fear and stepped outside. "Get lost thief. We're going to hurt them... go back home to Emiko and Daisuke."

Dark stood there, as he is ignorant and cocky. Okay, so he's just plain stupid. "Aww, protecting your girlfriend?" He put loads of emphasis on the word 'girlfriend'.

Krad started to twitch.

"Well, I'm a girl and is friend. So what? It doesn't mean anything. And by what I hear, the girl you like doesn't like you back. So that would put Krad ahead of you."

Kikiji barked at Dark. She started growling menacingly. Seconds later, she attacked him and started biting his arm. Well, she tried, she was only a puppy so she bit his leg instead. Dark was relieved that she was too small to bite any higher.

"Hey, it's a Hikari work isn't it?" Dark smirked. "I'll be taking it now."

"No you won't." Krad and Kurai said in unison. They glanced at each other. Weird...

Alright people, I hate to leave the cliffhanger like this but... oh well. This can give you all a chance to give me ideas on how they'll punish the writer of the gossip column. If you don't have any ideas, I'm going with the pinata one. Oh, if anything is spelled wrong or not fully spelled out, I'm sorry.

-Kurai-