Chapter 3 - Shadows of the Past

Tom went to see Anna and the kids every weekend, but it wasn't the same. In the time they'd been apart something had changed. It wasn't like it used to be, as much as he adored Sam and Daisy. He felt uneasy around Anna and Susan, and couldn't help but feel he was less of their father now than he used to be. Perhaps that was how every parent felt when their kids grew up, but for Tom it felt so strong. He missed his girls. He missed his job. He missed his colleagues. He'd lost everything. And he had nothing to show for so many years on the job. Where had the time gone?

He'd retired when they closed the station. It seemed like the logical thing to do. No doubt what the inspector wanted him to do as well. The pressure became too much. He was constantly on his back to give it away. And he'd finally won. Policing had changed in Mt Thomas in the last half decade, and sometimes not for the better, so he was, in a way, glad to get away from it. But when he was packing away his possessions for the last time he knew he would miss it. What had made him want to throw in the towel?

When he was a young probationary, he'd loved everything about policing – getting his hands dirty, helping people, the thrill of the chase, firing a gun, fast cars. He didn't even mind the odd shifts. He knew they'd pay off someday. But things began to go pear shaped a few years back. He couldn't even put his finger on it really, which frustrated him. They were just things that happened in the background…you never really noticed them, but they were always there. And it was to be the end of Tom Croydon and his team. Once a buzzing metropolis of a station, everyone had all but left and it'd been that way for three years now. The station closed its doors, and they all went their separate ways. Sunshine Kelly to Falcon Price's stuffy station, Fox and Jones to Homicide. Peroni off probably back to his mothers – that'd be the smart thing to do – and Graham back into the army. He belonged there, it was a good choice, much better than the coppers ever were for him. Raynor disappeared off the face of the earth after staying in contact for a few months, although she did show up to Alex's wedding. They all did. And he's still there today – living the life Tom Croydon was a good 30 years ago, having earnt his little posting in the quietness of the country.

How had Tom Croydon grown so old? He never thought of the 'next generation' of young cops…he always pictured himself in the job forever, perhaps even remaining young forever. It's that invincible feeling novice cops get and it never leaves them, even if they don't admit it until retirement.

Dammit though, I'm going to go to Kirby's little gathering, Tom thought to himself the afternoon he got the phone call.

Nothing left to lose

Susie threw her phone back into her bag, which sat silently at her feet. She sighed and settled back into her chair, trying to make it comfortable, even though everything about her trips here was never comfortable. Her arm ached and her head continued to throb annoyingly. It made Alex's invitation seem all the more inviting. How badly she wanted to go. She missed her Mt Thomas pals'n'gals. It'd been a long time, and made even harder by her hiding herself away. She felt distanced from them now more than ever.

She'd found out on a Tuesday and it was now a day she had discovered things never went right. She woke up every Tuesday remembering that it was a Tuesday that she had been given her diagnosis, and the world had ceased to exist. She curled up into a corner in the back seat of her car and cried her eyes out all afternoon in the deserted carpark at the back of the hospital. She sobbed and sobbed, the tears just never ending, and she wouldn't believe something so awful could happen to her. What had she done to deserve something like this? She just wanted it all to go away.

That was almost two years ago. Today she was a different person. She still had her afternoons of crying every now and then, just her and the cat huddled under the covers in her monstrous bed. But she got on with life. What else could you do? It didn't make sense to just stop and never fight again. Where would the pride be in that? And she was able to keep it up when she didn't know many people in this town, a tiny speck of a town on the Mornington Peninsula where the population only went up from about 50 to 51 every year or so when someone had a baby. But then some oldie would cark it and they'd be back to sitting on 50 residents.

She'd enjoyed the quietness of the town at first. It was different to Mt Thomas, and she needed that. Boy did she need it. A part of her was almost relieved the station closed down. It was the perfect excuse to get away, to move on. Mt Thomas hadn't exactly been the terrific posting she had anticipated when she moved there in 2003. So many things had happened, she had lost so many people close to her, and she'd gone to hell and back as a cop. She wasn't sure how much more she could handle. People say Mt Thomas is a quiet little country town, but they are so wrong, Susie thought to herself. She'd read about the Mornington Peninsula in a travel brochure, and had liked the way it sounded so secluded. Perhaps it was just what she needed.

So she applied for a posting to the tiny town of Langara, and got it straight away. The brass was eager to get everyone out of Mt Thomas and start them afresh anywhere they could find. So Susie packed her bags and made the trip, settling into a small little cottage by the beach that sat behind the one officer station. She enjoyed the peacefulness of it all, and she settled in easily into the community. She was the only cop in the town, and it really was a quiet place. Normal days consisted of pulling kids over for not wearing their helmets, helping to repair fences and catching up with the locals as she passed them on her foot patrols. She was as much apart of the community as the landscape was, and it felt nice to have people relying on her. People relied on her in Mt Thomas too, but that was much, much bigger, and there was always someone else to share the load. But in Langara, everyone turned to her and she relished the responsibility. In her spare time, on the quiet days, she took to the books, studying a criminology unit externally from a university in the city. It was a simple life, away from the pressures of serial killers and rapes, and there was no irritating buzz from rampant drivers or spewing crooks like there always was in the Mt Thomas station.

After a while though, Langara became a little boring. Or at least that was what she thought it was. Susie moved listlessly through the day, feeling more and more tired as the days wore on. After several weeks of the same boring routine that seemed more boring than ever, she finally went to the doctor. And that was the Tuesday that changed her life.