Chapter two: Control
I woke up because of the light shining in my face from the balcony window. I remembered last night very vaguely, but how I got to bed is a complete blur to me. My brother was snoring loudly from the top bunk, so I decided to get up and find my mother.
She was asleep, head resting on the kitchen table. I rolled my eyes. Gatomon sprung into my arms and purred "Good morning Kari! Are you feeling better?" She asked me.
"Feeling better? What do you mean?" I asked, pulling out some milk and pouring it into a saucer for her.
"You passed out last night" She answered, lapping at the milk.
I blinked. I passed out? Then I remembered and lightly laid a hand on my belly "Oh…yeah, I am feeling much better." I said. My mind was swimming a bit, but all in all I did feel better.
I was just beginning to eat when Tai came down the stair, rubbing the back of his head. "Morning." He mumbled. I just nodded and passed him the cereal.
Our mother woke up a few minutes later and disappeared into her bedroom. Neither of us said anything. I knew my mother was suffering because of our father's death, but I figured that eventually she would be forced to come to terms with it just like we all had.
I remembered something "Oh Tai, I am going to Yolie's later ok?" I said, and then left the room in order to get dressed.
I was sitting in my bedroom brushing my hair when the doorbell rang. I bounded down the stairs before Tai had a chance to answer it and pulled the door open, expecting Yolie. Instead, Matt the blonde haired rock star stood in the doorway. "Hey." He said.
I stood there for a moment before moving out of his way so he could enter. It was not unusual for Matt to spend days, even weeks at our house when he and his father fought. It was something I should have been used to by now and yet…every time I was around him, my heart began pounding and I seemed to be at a momentary loss for words.
It wasn't something I should have felt for him, since he was my boyfriend's older brother and my brother's best friend but I had always been unnaturally drawn to him. Although, I hadn't quite come to terms with this rather odd attraction yet.
"What are you here for today Matt?" Tai asked while he pulled on his soccer cleats. Apparently he forgot to tell me that they had a game tonight.
"It's nothing." Matt said. He looked tired and upset. "I just got into a fight with my brother and my old man so I decided to crash here for a second." He shrugged.
I wondered what T.K. had done to warrant Matt's wrath. "Whatever. Mom is drunk, Kari is going to Yolie's and I have got a game so you can't stay long." Tai said, picking up his soccer bag and heading to the door.
"I hit my brother." Matt said, sinking down into the couch. Tai stopped before he reached the doorway and turned around.
"You hit him?" Tai repeated. "What for?"
"It is not what he did to me. He came in last night after a party or something and he was kissing some random broad. I think he might have been drunk, which is unlike T.k. but he has been acting like he has been sick lately, so I wonder if it had something to do with that." Matt said, staring at the ceiling as he contemplated.
I stayed completely silent, though Tai flew off the handle as usual. "He was doing WHAT?" He snapped, angrily.
"Don't worry about it I took care of him." Matt said, impassively.
Tai snarled, apparently unconvinced. "Next time I see him I am going to kick his ass but right now I have a game, so I will see you two later." He turned, but then glanced back at me and added "Be home by eleven or else." Then he despaired out the door.
The doorbell rang and before I could respond Matt had stood up to answer it. Yolie rushed into the room, completely ignoring Matt. "Omg I just saw your brother, I swear…" She paused then turned around, face red. "Oh, hi Matt. I didn't see you there..."
I already knew what she was going to say. 'He is so hot…blah blah blah…' I had heard it all before. It was gross, in my opinion, to have Yolie who was my age, like my significantly older brother. Then again though, I did like Matt…sort of and he was a year older than my brother.
"Her." Matt answered before sinking back into the couch.
"Shouldn't you be getting home?" I asked, standing up to follow Yolie out the door.
"Nope." Matt answered, falling over to lie on the now vacant couch.
I rolled my eyes at him "Whatever. Lock the door on your way out." I said, dropping my gold key on his stomach. He responded by making a muffled noise and rolling over, placing the key on the floor. I chuckled at him before closing the door and following Yolie down the stairs.
"Is it safe to just leave him in your house like that Kari?" She asked me, once we were in the parking lot.
"Yeah, don't worry. We leave him there all the time." I said, giggling. I wanted to tell her about what Matt had said about T.k. but on the other hand, I didn't want to talk about it.
"I don't know. He seems scary to me, like any other degenerate rock star." She said, climbing into the car she had borrowed from one of her many siblings.
"He is, but like I said we leave him there all the time. He won't mess with anything because he knows if he does my brother will kick his ass." I smiled at her. She still looked skeptical. "What are you so afraid of?" I asked. Matt really wasn't so bad, once you got used to him.
We headed to the mall to look and clothes and watch movies in the built in theater. Eventually, I had to ask her "Matt told me that T.k. looks sick, have you seen him lately?" I asked, pretending to be nonchalant.
"No I haven't, sorry. He is your boyfriend though; shouldn't you know where he is?" She didn't really understand the question.
"Never mind, I don't really care anyway." I said, glancing away. She let the subject drop and we continued with our window shopping. Eventually my watch went off, signaling that I needed to head home. I decided that a walk would do me some good, so I left Yolie at the mall. The minute I arrived in the mall parking lot it began to rain. 'Classic' I thought, sprinting thorough across the concrete. I didn't notice him at first, that is, until he stepped out in front of me.
It was T.k. and with all due respect, he did look sick. His face was unnaturally pale and his eyes were bloodshot. He swayed back and forth as if he were drunk. "He Kari, nice night." He said, chuckling at some unknown joke. "Seen my brother around anywhere?" He asked curiously.
"No, sorry." I said, attempting to move around him. He moved to block me. "Listen T.k, I would normally love to chat but I need to get home." I pushed passed him and dashed up the stars, grabbing the doorknob and twisting. 'Locked?' I rang the doorbell as he ambled slowly up the stairs in a menacing manner.
I had never been afraid of T.k. but in this moment, all I could think to do was scream, until I found that my mouth couldn't form words. I rang the bell a few hundred more times and begged for someone, anyone to answer. Why did I give Matt my key? Finally the door opened and I squeezed in under Matt's arm, turning around in order to peek over his shoulder. "What do you want, Takeru?" Matt asked, unafraid of T.k.'s strange appearance.
"Actually, I was looking for you but I need to talk to Kari." He said, as if he had suddenly re-though his initial tactics. "And she is none of your concern." He added, staring at me.
"Tia isn't here, so it is my job to protect her T.k." He said. His words stung a little bit. Did he think no more of me than what my brother thought of me? That I was frail and weak and incapable of caring for myself? I pushed on my stomach slightly. Maybe there was some truth to his words.
"Go protect your own girlfriend" T.k snapped in response.
"I don't have a girlfriend" Matt answered, looking slightly ashamed.
"Well that doesn't give you any right to steal mine!" T.k was yelling now, and I was beginning to get nervous.
"Stop being a baby and stop trying to pick fights." Matt answered with a sigh.
"Shut up Matt!" T.k hissed, getting angrier by the second.
"I think it is you who needs to shut up, T.k." I snapped, suddenly "You need to leave also; I know you are cheating on me and I don't want to have anything to do with it!" I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, and my cheeks were beginning to turn green. Matt was giving me a worried look.
"What are you talking about?" T.k asked, momentarily confused.
"The one I saw you with this morning T.k" Matt answered before I had a chance to.
"Whatever" T.k said, glancing off to the side. "I know you are cheating on me too though, aren't you Kari?" He said, looking back in order to glare at me.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"I am talking about you and Ken! You don't think I wouldn't notice that you are always hanging out with him!" I had heard enough. I pushed Matt out of the way and slapped T.k hard across the face.
"You don't know anything T.k!" I said my voice barely a whisper "I could never cheat on you! I love you and I always will love you!" The tears I had been forcing back flowed freely now.
"I know you are lying to me Kari! Sora told me everything." He said, quieter now. 'Sora?' I thought to myself. Why was she always trying to cause problems for me? What did I ever do to her?
"You don't know anything Takeru!" I yelped "T.k I-I'm pregnant!" I covered my mouth the minute the words escaped. 'What have I done?' I thought. I never meant to tell anyone, until it became necessary, that is.
Matt pulled me in the house and slammed the door in T.k.'s face, abruptly ending the conversation. I pulled free of his grasped and dropped down on the couch, freely sobbing now. Matt sat heavily down beside me, but said nothing. There wasn't much to be said. I had just spilled my deepest, darkest secret to the one person whom I was never planning on telling.
"Are you really pregnant?" Matt asked quietly. I could tell he was trying to be delicate, but I was too upset. I just nodded in response. "So…do you want it?" He asked.
I yelped a little bit. "Of course I do!" I said, still crying.
"Does your brother know?" He asked.
"No, he doesn't. No one does."
"Are you planning on telling him?" Matt asked.
"Eventually, I won't have a choice Matt." I said. He reached up and brushed away a stray tear on my cheek. I wondered why his finger lingered against his cheek. He noticed me staring at him and pulled his hand away, blushing slightly.
"I'm sorry. It is none of my business anyway." He said, messing with his hands. I sighed.
"No, don't worry about it. You are just concerned, and I appreciate it, but I have to do what is necessary. This is my mistake, and I am going to take responsibility for it." I pressed my hand against my stomach. "Besides…I think I am already attached to him." I giggled. It had only been a month, but I already felt a connection to the child growing slowly inside of me.
"It's no problem." Matt said, looking slightly awkward. "You need to go to bed, T.k won't let this rest. He is acting crazy and I think it is only going to get worse." I knew what he said was true, but I did not want to leave just yet. That weird connection I felt to Matt was pulling me closer to him.
I leaned towards him, but before I reached his mouth he pulled away. "I am going to go make tea." He said, coughing to cover up his embarrassment. I blushed crimson as he left the room. What had I just done? I had just tried to kiss Matt! I shook my head clear of the sudden thoughts forming on my mind.
It only took about five minutes before Matt came back in the room with a steaming cup of green tea. He handed it to me and sat down in the chair on the other side of the room. I felt stupid for trying what I did. I had no right to kiss him, no matter how attracted I was to him. Even though T.k had betrayed me, I was still dating him.
The tea was warm, and within minutes I found myself getting sleepy. My eyelids got heavy, and only minutes after I fell into a deep sleep. Matt sighed. "I hate to do that to you, Kari." He said. He knew that Tai would cut me no slack come tomorrow should I not get any sleep.
Tai came in soon after. "You were that boring of a conversation that you put her to sleep?" He asked jokingly.
Matt rolled his eyes. "I gave her a sleeping pill. I know this is not my right to tell you but, do you know that your sister is pregnant?" He asked.
Tia gave him a look, but simply nodded. "Yeah, I found out the same time she did I think."
Matt stood up "How could this have happened?" He asked. He remembered Kari when she was just a sweet and innocent little girl. He clenched his fists. T.k had done this to her, and he was going to pay for it.
Matt and Tai stayed up the rest of the night eating ramen noodles and talking while I slept on the couch. Tomorrow would be another trying day, and I figured that for the next nine months, I would have a lot of trying days.