Chapter 13 – Missing an Angel

The following night Kelly forced herself to go to the Imperial again. It had been more than 24 hours since she had last been there, and it was hard going back, with all the memories attached to it now, still like open wounds. But she went. For Susie.

The six of them sat around a table in the beer garden at sunset and raised their glasses to their friend. Tears streamed down their faces as they clinked their glasses together, but they knew they were doing the right thing. Susie deserved a thousand toasts for how she had lived her life, for how she had made a difference in the community and for how deeply she had enriched the lives of her friends. As they drank silently they missed her then more than ever.

Again they sat quietly around the table, just needing to be together. They were all trying so hard to retain their composure's for the sake of each other and their reputations, even though never would any of them dream of looking down on someone for falling apart. But they kept their chins up anyway. Several times Kelly wavered, as did Evan, but an arm around the shoulder from the person next to them always helped that and they all went home feeling slightly better than they had when they'd arrived.

Torturously, Alex and Amy remained the last ones at the table. As Evan got up to leave he leaned over Amy chair and pecked her on the cheek. "Thanks for…" he stammered, embarrassed. "…being there last night." He smiled shyly at her, his eyes full of admiration and appreciation.

You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through it all

She smiled in return. "Anytime," she answered quietly. He walked back to his room, a tiny smile on his face – a real accomplishment given the heartbreak he had recently been dealt. He knew he would never get over this – she had been the one he had wanted to marry as well, but he had his friends. And, inside he truly knew that heaven was the place she belonged. They'd been missing their angel. He sighed as he walked upstairs. He would miss her more than he could say.

Outside Alex and Amy regarded each other wearily as Christmas carols filtered into the beer garden from next door. Neither seemed to have the strength left to make the effort to try to salvage their friendship any longer. So they sat there for a while, trying to enjoy the night air and the splendour of the fairy lights that wound around the palms that bordered the beer garden.

Finally Amy looked over at Alex beside her. She almost felt bad for what she had said the night before. "You went too fast last night Alex," she whispered, feeling shy and vulnerable again.

"I'm sorry," he replied, almost like it was an automatic answer to everything.

She stared at him, wanting so badly for him to understand her point of view. "You can't just…rush into these things," she informed him quickly realising how stupid it sounded. What do I know? She thought to herself. Maybe rushing into love is the best way to do things? She shrugged at him. "Not with me anyway."

"Look, Amy," he replied. "You don't have to explain. I get it now. I won't bring it up again!" he got up and walked away from the table, shocking Amy as she remained seated.

"Alex!" she gasped. She rubbed at her temples in aggravation. "It's not that," she pressed on, hoping it would make him stop walking away.

It did. "What then?" he looked as tired as she did.

"You don't understand me," she admitted quietly. "And how I work with men." She gave him a desperate look as she said it. "And you just assumed that you did last night, and that's why I said what I did."

"So you didn't mean it then?" he asked, confused.

Amy screwed up her face, knowing she would have to tell the truth, because nothing else was going to come out. She shrugged her shoulders as she spoke. "Not exactly." Upon hearing this, Alex began to smile. "But you have to understand that this won't happen overnight," she insisted vehemently. "Even if you want it to." Alex nodded, his smile widening. "You don't know as much about me as you might think."

Kiss me at midnight

Dance until the morning light

Party into the new year

All of my friends are here

And when the time is right

Kiss me at midnight

Alex sat down beside her again and smiled, taking her hand. "So we can start over?" he asked timidly, all of a sudden as shy as she was.

She looked at him, fear still in her scarred eyes. She nodded ever so slightly. No matter how much she told herself she didn't, she really did long to be with him, because he was the one who she saw as being able to understand her the greatest.

Alex bowed his head in a quiet revelation. "Thank God," he admitted. "Because I would've had a bloody hard time walking away from you again." He looked up at her and smiled. "Especially when you look so beautiful." This time he grinned and stood up and extended his hand to her. "Dance with me?"

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight

Graciously and nervously, she accepted, and he pulled her out of her chair and onto the small gravel area that didn't have any tables crowding it. They stood facing each other, awkwardness bubbling between their bodies as they tried to join hands in a hold. A fumble later, they got it and swayed to the music that still drifted into the beer garden from next door. She, with her head close to his shoulder, out of eye contact with him, smiled to herself quietly as he, out of eye contact with her, used one finger from their joined hands to feel the hair that hung loose on her shoulders like it always did.

The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek
There's nobody here, it's just you and me,

It's where I wanna be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
I'll never forget, the way you look tonight

They made no attempt to go upstairs or say goodnight to each other – they simply basked in the moonlight as the music played quietly, tinkering away in the night. Animated and very unlike her normal self, Amy danced on with Alex, actually enjoying the feeling of being so close to him – a total backflip from the night before when she had been frightened of any contact whatsoever. And so when he pulled away from her to look into her eyes, she didn't avoid the gaze. He leant his forehead on hers and their noses almost touched. Delicately, slowly, Alex leaned down and kissed her gracefully, drawing it out and letting her know his true intentions. She smiled as they parted lips. Alex had learnt his first lesson in how she needed to be treated.