Disclaimer: I have nightmares of this whole thing belonging to someone else. I wake up in cold sweats…and then I realize it's not really a nightmare; it's just the cold, hard truth.

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8

In the days that followed Sara found herself working every case beside Grissom. Since their backseat picnic Grissom had, more and more frequently, dropped little compliments and flirtatious remarks. She relished in the time they spent alone. He was very careful to only show his new side when there was no one around, and that was fine with her. Liking their privacy was a trait they both shared.

Tonight was no different. They were on the way to the scene in the Tahoe and he was driving. She was surprised by the small amount of tension she felt in the air, but brushed it aside as being tired. They were both on their seventh night in a row and he, like she, was probably looking forward to tomorrow, their day off.

A flash of white in front of her eyes interrupted her thoughts. When she focused, she realized it was an envelope that he was handing her. She took it from him and, upon closer inspection, she saw her name written in his familiar handwriting.

"Open it." After she started tearing open the flap, "I don't want you to respond now, I'd just like you to either follow or not follow the requests."

She turned to look at his quizzically, but he never took his eyes off the road. She turned her attention back to the envelope and found a note folded inside. She opened the perfectly tri-folded, lined paper and read:

Sara,

I know that this may seem strange to you, but I have a request. I'm not sure whether I've gained the right to make this request, but I'm leaving that conclusion to you. In order to help you with your decision, I'd like to explain something.

As you may already know, the Debbie Marlin case affected me in a way that is hard for me to put into words. I know that you did see her body at least once when you printed her toes, but I don't know if you saw what I did. All I saw was you. I can only hope that you saw the same to help you understand that my actions towards you were not those of a crazy person, but those of someone who cared…no, cares about you.

Many fears attacked me in those two days, which I'd like to have a chance to explain to you. I'm not sure how long that will take me, or even if I can do it, but it would be a gift if you'd give me the chance that I don't even know if I deserve.

With that said, the proverbial ball is in your court. This is not saying that if you decide this is too much that I will end the relationship we have now. No matter how many steps we take toward furthering our bond, I do not want to lose what we have now. I am only saying that in order for me to make the next step, I need you to let me know you're ready.

This invitation is for tomorrow night, since we both have the night off, but it is open for any time that you feel ready after that if you think tomorrow's too soon.

Who: You.

What: Semi-casual dinner (vegetarian) and discussion.

When: Tomorrow, 6pm.

Where: My place.

Why: "Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time."

Deborah Chaskin

Grissom

The note haunted her thoughts the whole night, but Grissom carried on as if nothing had happened. She tried to stay focused, but her mind was occupied by the decision she had to make. He'd stated in his letter that he didn't want to lose what they had built, and so far he was holding to that. But if she didn't show up tomorrow night, would he be the same the next time they saw each other? Was she even ready to take the next step? The relationship they'd formed in the past few days worked for her. She enjoyed the time they spent together, the flirtatious remarks and the look in his eyes when they were alone. Did she want to take the chance of losing that to find out if they were capable of developing more?

"Sara?"

Shaken from her thoughts, "Yeah?"

"Where were you just then?"

"Sorry. Just thinking. I'm fine."

"You're not trying to escape from me are you?"

Smiling, "Have you captured me?"

"You tell me."

"More like captivated than captured."

"No desire to escape then?"

"There's no need to escape from somewhere that you're not being forced stay."

"Good."