The Sanzo-ikkou Go Babysitting
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Chapter 2: Entering The Monster's Domain.
The day seems strangely cold for the Sanzo-ikkou, even if the weather was a really bright and sunny day.
"I can't believe you agreed to that man's offer!!" Gojyo said in disbelief to Hakkai.
"Yeah! How are we supposed to eat when we're looking after little kids?" Goku said as if pained to know that he won't be enjoying his meals from that day forward.
Hakkai simply smiled. "Well it's a good way to pay our debt to the inn." He said.
"That's easy for you to say. You're the mommy of the group." Sanzo retorted in annoyance.
Hakkai just sighed as he petted Hakuryu on the head which the little dragon responded with a purr.
"There's no turning back now. I already agree to the manager's offer…" He told Hakuryu, recalling what had happened.
Flashback:
"Unless… You people are willing to look after some little kids!" The manager finally announced.
"HHUUUWAAAAATTTTTT? KIDS!" The four exclaimed at the manager's strange request.
"DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BABYSIT MORE ANNOYING MONKEYS?? TWO IS ENOUGH!" Sanzo barked out, losing his temper.
"DO I LOOK LIKE MARY POPPINS TO YOU? I DON'T DO KIDS I DO WOMEN! I can't even stand looking at a damn pacifier for cryin' out loud!!" Gojyo snarled.
Goku pondered for a second.
(Goku: "Huh? I don't get it… is looking after kids supposed to be bad?" Goku asked in confusion.)
(Azren: "Of course isn't that bad! You just have to change their diapers that's filled with their smelly old waste products and they use you as a human-merry-go-round… not even giving you time to eat!")
Goku gasped as he heard that demented little voice tell him the 'no-eat' policy. "NOOOOO!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!! HOW WILL WE EAT?!"
Hakkai sweat dropped as he began to observe their situation. It was beginning to be futile if this continued. "So, what kind of children do you have?" He asked the manager politely.
"Oh, I have five of them; Three boys and two girls. The eldest is twelve and the youngest is a year old." He explained. His frown deepened. "My wife died giving child-birth and I'm afraid I'm too busy to make money for their future that I have less time to be with them."
Hakkai felt pity for the children.
And then he thought…
"Well I guess it wouldn't hurt if we stay for a few more days…" He said to the manager, which his three frustrated companions overheard...
"WHAT!!!" They shouted in disbelief.
"Hey! Don't start deciding without asking me! We still need to head west!" Sanzo said, annoyed at the situation.
"Yeah! What he said! I can't keep on hitting on women if some little pest will be cramping my style!" Gojyo said.
"Hakkai… Why must we do this?" Goku asked with a hint of frustration in his voice.
Hakkai merely smiled. "It's a way of paying our debts… Remember Goku that it was you who lost the gold card!" Hakkai pointed out.
Goku groaned as the other two glared daggers at him.
"This all your fault you stupid monkey!" Gojyo said as he started to strangle poor Goku.
"I'll make sure to kill you when I have the chance…" Sanzo said dangerously as he took out his gun.
"WAAAHH!! I didn't do it on purpose!!"
"Now, now you guys!" Hakkai said calmly.
"What's done is done and we can't pay for the inn. So we need to baby sit until we can find the card." He said. Sanzo lowered his gun and took out a cigarette. (Wow, Sanzo… at a time like this?!)
"Fine." He simply said, giving his unexpected consent.
Goku and Gojyo stared at him, flabbergasted.
Gojyo was the first one to explode.
"WHAT?! What kind of corrupt monk are you??" Gojyo started to bawl out.
"Yeah Sanzo!" Goku seconded.
"Shut up you two or I'll kill you NOW!" Sanzo yelled at them, causing them to shut up.
"I've made up my mind. For the sake of getting out of here quicker, YOU three will baby sit." Sanzo calmly said exhaling smoke.
"Well then! Here's the map to my house! Thank you all so much!" The manager who has been silent all this time said as he handed the map to Hakkai.
"It's not a problem at all!"
"Hmph! Just make sure that we can get outta here after we fully pay that damned debt." Sanzo said.
The latter just sighed in retreat. Arguing with Sanzo was a difficult task to do.
End of Flashback.
Goku's stomach suddenly grumbled. "Hey guys, I'm hungry!" He complained.
"You just ate!" Gojyo said irritated.
"An hour ago! And that was a long time!" Goku pointed out.
Gojyo just muttered something incoherent. He wasn't in the mood to argue.
They made it to the manager's house. It was a little cottage near the woods, and it looked…
"Whoa… this place looks so…. Creepy." Goku said matter-of-factly.
"What were you expecting? Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?" Gojyo said as he tried opening the door.
"Gojyo, I think it's best if we knock before doing that." Hakkai suggested.
"Oh! Oh! Let me! Let me!" Goku cheerfully volunteered.
"No you can't! You're a stupid monkey! Monkeys can't knock!" Gojyo sneered.
"I'm not a monkey!"
"Now, now, I'll do it." Hakkai said, stopping the two from waging another war.
Hakkai knocked at the door, "Hello! Is anybody there?" Hakkai called out.
No answer.
"They probably didn't know that we were coming." Gojyo said.
"Hey! We're the new babysitters!" Goku cried out.
Just then, the door went ajar, and a woman was there, looking frightened. "Hey… did you just say that… that you're the new babysitters?" She asked in a hushed tone.
They all looked at her in puzzlement. "Yeah, we are… ummm… who are you?" Hakkai asked the frightened woman, who opened the door in delight.
"I'm so happy the new babysitters came… four of you, in fact!" She said, observing all of them.
Goku's face was etched with a puzzled frown. "What? Hold on, do you work here—"
"DID… I did work here, I used to work here, I previously work here, I was a babysitter/nanny here and now I'm free!" She exclaimed, dancing happily.
The four looked at her in a weird way. "This woman needs a psychiatrist." Sanzo said, not caring if the woman heard him.
"Well, since the four of you are here now, there is no reason for me to lounge around anymore!" She said as she pulled out two bags and gave them keys to the house. "These are the keys to every room in the house. Each key is labeled from the front door to the back door. There are no duplicates for any of them, so I suggest you take good care of them." She said quite easily as she started to escape…
They all looked at her in puzzlement. "Oh, and in case you're all wondering, the four of you are the twenty-fifth." She said in a carefree voice.
"Twenty-fifth what?" Gojyo asked.
"Twenty-fifth babysitters of course…. This month, well I have to go! Good luck!" She said, running as if happy to escape the clutches of the devil.
They all stared at her form which was now a tiny little speck heading straight to the horizon.
"Wow she's fast!" Goku said in amazement. Clearly, he has never seen a woman run so fast before.
"So…" Sanzo started as he lighted another cigarette. "They're that bad." He simply said.
"Hmph! Who's scared of little pests? Come on guys!" Gojyo said as he headed straight inside the house.
"Well, it is open anyway." Hakkai said as he followed Gojyo.
Hakkai noticed Hakuryu looking a bit differently. He purred to him, as if a great evil was heading towards them.
Hakkai patted his head and said, "Don't worry Hakuryu. It's not like we're entering the beast's domain at our own will." He said with a soft laugh. Hakuryu purred again as if saying: "That's easy for you to say."
"Tch. This place is a pigsty." Sanzo said as he kicked a doll lying around.
"I wonder where the little kids are." Goku said as he peeped into every room and found no sign of life.
"That's weird… where could they be?" Hakkai asked no one in particular. "Hello! Anybody home?" He called out.
"Maybe they went out or somethin'" Gojyo said.
"Probably…" Hakkai said, unsure of Gojyo's proposition.
"I'm hungry…" Goku complained.
"You're always hungry, zaru." Gojyo said.
"Hakuryu? Hey… has anyone seen Hakuryu?" Hakkai said, noticing the little dragon's disappearance.
"I think I saw him go in there." Goku said pointing at the very last room in the house… which was unmistakably the kitchen.
"COOL! IT'S THE KITCHEN! Hakuryu really does know how to find the goodies!" Goku said as he ran towards the door.
"Idiot." Both Sanzo and Gojyo unison while Hakkai only smiled.
"It's really strange for him to disappear like this." Hakkai said, worry evident in his tone.
"Ah don't worry Hakkai! I'm sure he' just off finding a lady dragon!" Gojyo said, trying to lighten up the now heavy atmosphere.
"Hey corrupt monk! You've been quiet for some time. 'Sup?" Gojyo asked the silent monk who was busy filling his lungs with smoke.
"I feel… something… dangerous…" He said darkly before giving the kitchen door a hard stare. And right at that very moment they heard someone shout.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
"GOKU!" They all rushed to the kitchen, and what they found was something unexplainable, something so frightening that the devil himself would run away of fright and make a living in Las Vegas as a blackjack dealer… something…
"Th-that's… that's… disturbing…" Hakkai said… ehem… I mean, practically shouted. And there is a pretty good reason why.
"It looks like we've found the little brats." Sanzo said as a boy and a girl ran around the kitchen, acting like Indians. The boy had a slingshot, and he tried t shoot a tomato to Sanzo luckily, he evaded it.
"NOISY LITTLE BRATS!" Gojyo yelled as a tomato hit his face, which caused it to be as red as his hair.
And they have, five of them, all in Indian costumes. A boy at the age of nine who looked like a genius who wore thick glasses and a seven year old girl who looked as fresh as the spring that you could call her "flower child" were happily mixing up stew… it wasn't ordinary stew… it had poor Goku in it (Whom, I dare say, is crying for his life) ("IT'S GETTING HOT HERE!")they were doing this while chanting: "MONKEY STEW! MONKEY STEW! WE WANT MONKEY STEW!" and sitting on a cupboard was a one-year old baby, throwing the vegetables in the cauldron (Yes cauldron) and throwing other things in too.
The older girl stopped her running.
"My siblings!! Come and let us feast and thank the gods for giving us such a blessing!!!" She shouted to her siblings as she opened a tray, that had poor Hakuryu tied up, with an apple on his little snout and other fruits on his side.
"THEY'RE GONNA EAT ME!!!" Goku wailed in despair. "I'm supposed to be the one eating!"
"Hey now, that's not nice let him go!" Hakkai said as he ran to Hakuryu.
The boy with the glasses smirked as he pulled a string which caused a bucket of… err… leftovers to cover the three.
"Yuck! What is this stuff?" Gojyo said as he trie to brush of the substance with his han.
"I don't wanna know." Hakkai said.
"Little brats…" Sanzo muttered angrily.
"Sanzo? Uhhh… are you… okay?" Gojyo carefully asked afraid of the now angered monk.
"YOU LITTLE BRATS!!! GET IN LINE!!!!!!!" Sanzo barked angrily at the five children.
There was a momentary silence…
Before a tomato flew and hit Sanzo on the face.
"That does it!!! I'm gonna teach you little pests a lesson!" He growled as he reached for his spirit ascending gun.
"Sanzo! Don't shoot them!" Hakkai said.
"Yeah! They'll die too fast! Strangle them!" Gojyo said, obviously agreeing to killing the five innocent children.
"Gojyo…" Hakkai said in a serious tone.
"Who said anything about killing them?" Sanzo asked. "Fine. If a little gun fire doesn't work for you why don't you try and stop them?" Sanzo said, regaining his composure (XD)
Hakkai sighed and went over to the children, who were all ready to eat their… captives.
"Help me…" Goku said pleadingly.
"Waaahh!!! Eat!!!" The "flower child" yelled, but she was surprised to be lifted from the ground.
"Now, now. That's not very nice." Hakkai said to the little girl who was trying to kick and punch him for her freedom.
"Hey!! Let her go!" The two older kids said as they tried to attack Hakkai, but Hakkai was just too fast for them.
"I'll let her go if you let my friends go." He said, smiling sweetly at them. But to them, his smile was creepy so was the creepy gleam in his lens.
"Alright." The boy said as he untied Hakuryu (Whom flew happily to Hakkai's side). The girl went and helped Goku (Who immediately ran for his life while screaming: "CANNIBALS!!!) out of the cauldron.
"Thank you!" Hakkai said as he let go of the little girl and patted her head.
"Now that all of you are in line, what are your names?" Sanzo said coolly.
The older boy smirked. "I'm Hillwiggly McDuff, She's Sillywee, that's MacBarfsalot, that girl is Cacklenosesnot and the baby is Greenboogerhead!" The boy said laughing at the false names he created.
"Okay, Mr. Hillwiggly. I founnd this picture of a cute girl. It has her address on it… her name is… Rein? You like her don't you? Well I think she'll find Mr. Hillwiggly McDuff to be a charming cannibal." Gojyo said as he showed him a picture of a cute girl in pig tails.
The boy glared at him. "Fine. My name is Kin, she's Yurin, that's Ten, that girl is Miu and the baby is Yuu." He snapped, hoping the four babysitters didn't get it.
Hakkai smiled at them. "I'm pleased to meet you all. I'm Hakkai, the monkey boy you were about to devour is Goku ("HEY!) the horny red head is Gojyo ("That's mean Hakkai…) and the baldie monk is Sanzo. ("You're getting meaner by the second.")" He said cutely to them.
This is gonna be a looooooooooooooong stay. Everyone in the kitchen thought in disdain.
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Author's Note: I hope that that was a good ending for this chapter (It was kinda long!) Thanks to those who reviewed and I apologize for not updating earlier. I needed my life to fall back in place. Anyway, I'll try to update soon. Reviews please!!!
P.S. I do expect some complaints about typos and misspelled words. I'm don't really have plans on rereading it 'til after tonight!